Um, if there's one house...

(Daddy, Alex, and Claire return home from an excursion.)

Claire (to Mommy): I ride on the train.
Mommy: You did? Wow!
Claire: In Daddy lap.

Mommy: Tell me what you guys did.
Alex: Um we ride on the train at the mall… and we saw men putting on bricks… and we saw men painting… and we went on the bridge at the, the, kinda store, something, and, and, we came on home.


Alex: Can I jump over Grommie?
Mommy: No.


Alex: Mommy, can we have the orange chips today?
Mommy: The orange chips?
Alex: Yeah. With the tiger on it?

Alex: Yesterday Daddy, I saw a deer at Nana’s house. With brown dots, and no, and no horns, just ears.
Daddy: Wow!


(dinner)

Alex: Daddy, can I tell you a joke?
Daddy: Yes, Alex.
(Before he can continue, Alex accidentally bites his tongue and starts crying.)


(Alex washes his hands to get ready for bed.)
Alex: Towel, please.

Alex: I like lollipops.

Alex: I like milk because it’s cold.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: It’s like snow!

Alex: I like sitting with you, Daddy.


(The following remarks occurred during Mommy’s reading of The Little Engine That Could.)

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: Yeah, that’s Humpty Dumpty.

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: Yeah.

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: That’s Humpty Dumpty.

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: That’s Humpty Dumpty.


(Daddy is sitting on the floor, talking to Mommy, and Claire is climbing onto his back.)
Claire: I’m on you! I’m on you! I’m on you, Daddy!
(Claire gets ignored as Daddy is busy talking to Mommy.)
Claire (whispering in Daddy’s ear): I’m on you, Daddy.


(Mommy is tucking Alex in bed.)
Alex: Can we talk about things?
Mommy: You wanna talk about things?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: In the morning?
Alex: Now.
Mommy: Okay... What do you want to talk about?
Alex: Um, if there's one house...
(Pause .)
Mommy: If there's one house?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: What does that mean?
(Alex tries, unsuccessfully, to explain; Mommy tries, unsuccessfully, to answer. This goes on for a bit, and Alex gets upset.)
Mommy: I'm sorry, I don’t know what you’re trying to get me to say.
Alex: I told you.
Mommy (to Daddy): Have you had this conversation with him?
Daddy: No.
(Mommy continues to try to understand, but Alex just gets more frustrated.)
Alex: Um, if you don't know that answer, can we talk about something else?
Mommy: Okay. Last thing.
Alex: Okay, Mommy. If there's one ceiling, if, um, can we talk about if there's one ceiling?


(Alex has been lying quietly in his bed for about fifteen minutes. He shouts down the stairs for Daddy, so Daddy goes into Alex’s room.)
Alex: I didn’t tell you a joke when I hurt my tongue.
Daddy: Oh. You can tell me a joke in the morning.
Alex: Can I tell you a joke?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Where do the chickens live when they live in a different way… under the road?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: They live, um… in the closet.
Daddy: You’re funny.