And it fell in the house. They couldn’t believe it.

(Alex is looking at pictures on the calendar.)
Alex: Hey, look, it's Mommy's running stuff! It's Mommy's running stuff!
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Why don't you go running any more?


Claire: When Alex eats -- at breakfast time and at dinner time, he plays at the table.


(Claire comes running into the kitchen.)
Claire (excitedly): Daddy!!! Daddy!!! I have a fan in my room!
Daddy: Wow!
Claire: Because my -- because my room is very hot.


Alex: Look, Daddy, Mommy's Blackberry keeps saying [imitating the tones] "dih-guk!" I don't want it to say "dih-guk".


(Alex is playing with the little dollhouse. The following are the voices of the dollhouse residents.)
Alex (as ???): Mom? Is it okay if we live in our cousins' house?
Alex (as "Mom"): Of course! But for one day… you can live, and play, and at night time you can sleep.
Alex (as ???): Okay, can we take our beds?
Alex (as "Mom"): Of course you could.
Alex (as ???): Well, what about baby?
Alex (as "Mom"): Well, okay, of course you can.
Alex (as ???): Thanks, Mom.


(Alex narrates as he plays with the doll house.)
Alex: Let’s sleep up here.
Alex: Uh-oh. But… there was… a storm, at night.
Alex: It knocked down the ladders.
Alex: Got them all slippery.
Alex: And it fell in the house. They couldn’t believe it.
Alex: At night, he was taking a nap.
Alex: Nap, nap, nap, nap.
Alex: And then the chair boomed. And fell over.
Alex: He fell out. He fell through an ice.
Alex (in a sad voice): Oh, I’m cold. I’m outside.
Alex (in a sad voice): Need to climb inside. Upstairs I go.
Alex (in a sad voice): Sit in my chair. Have a nap again.
Alex (in a baby voice): Baby (mumble). Baby crawled out of bed.
Alex: Mom! We’re not sleepy! But how’re we gonna get back over to your house. We’re scared of the storm!
Alex: Don’t worry, I’ll come! In the next morning! At five o’clock.
Alex: Okay?
Alex: Uh-oh.
Alex: The bed shook! The bed shook.
Alex: The rug… flew away. Right into their next house. Where the baby was sleeping.
Alex (in a baby voice): Baby, sleeping?
Claire: That’s mine, can I have that baby?
Alex: But then… woke Grandma – um, woke up. And her, his cousin woke up.
Alex: Whoa! Whoa.
Alex: And then somebody fell out of his chair! And then, the brother said, “Oh. (unintelligible) fell out!”
Alex: It’s slippery. Come on!
Alex: Baby, what’s wrong?
Alex (in a baby voice): I wanna (mumble) something, but I’m scared to get out!
Alex: Um, we’re scared too – come on!
(The saga continues.)

Claire: And, the baby, and the dada, and the –
Alex (shouting): Break the window, please, I need to get to the other side!!

Alex: You wanna come with us? We’re riding on the triceratops.
Claire: I don’t wanna come with – you guys.

Alex: Ohhhh! We’re tired!
Alex: Well then… they’ll find a bed in there, and then you can sleep in it.
Alex: How ‘bout we sleep in here?
Claire: Okay, here’s some logs, guys! I found you some logs!
Alex: Oh thanks, we’ll come back and get it later.
Claire (angrily): No these are their logs!
Claire (angrily): These are their logs.
Alex: Oh.

Alex: Can’t fit! In our room.
Alex: What are you doing?
Alex: Are you sure?!
Alex: Are you crazy?! You can’t fit in our room! We’ll bump our heads!

Alex: Ah. My jacket’s comin’ off. I don’t wanna take my jacket off. So I’ll have to leave.
Alex: You woke up early. Everybody’s still asleep!
Alex: Oh. Okay, I’ll lie with you.
Alex: But when she came, and said: “You guys! You were – there, for – three days, I think. So. Why don’t you come back to our house? This storm.”
Alex: Sorry. But, we just were playing. With just – our friends.
Alex: Oh. Oh. What were you doing?
Alex: I was taking them a ride.
Alex: But. Isn’t it so hard to ride on you?
Alex: Well, they sat on my horns.
Alex: It’s so hard.
Alex: Well they’re not, right now. They’re just soft, because rain fell on them.
Alex: Oh. And, can, can, can you, please, come to our house?
Claire: It’s a bracelet come through!
Alex: Can you please lift your --
Claire: I have a bracelet coming through!
Alex: Okay, if you promise, you won’t be scared of stories.
Claire (shouting triumphantly): I have a bracelet!! Coming through!!
Claire: It’s coming downstairs!
Alex: Uh-oh.
Alex: Uh! It’s on my bed!
Claire: It’s, going away!
Alex: Uh-oh.
Claire: Now it’s going in this closet!
Alex: Come on guys, we need to catch it.
Claire: Now it’s gone!
Alex: It’s gone? We have to find that treasure again.
Claire: Now it’s in the closet! You won’t see it, any, more!
Claire: There’s another storm!
Alex: Uh-oh.
Claire: It’s a storm!
Claire: Now you won’t, have your bed, a, gain!
Alex: Sleep on the floor, not in my nap chair.
Alex: But you have to sleep in your nap chair, you always do that.
Alex: Okay, I’ll sleep in my nap chair.
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: I’m taking it away!
Alex: We don’t mind.
Claire: And now it’s coming back again!
Alex (in a sad voice): My bed!
Claire: No more storms!
Alex (in a sad voice): My bed! My bed! My bed!
Claire: Your bed again!
Alex: Thank you. Ahhhh.
Alex: My nice pillow.
Claire: Ahhhhh!
Alex (to Daddy, laughing): He’s sleeping in his nap chair.
(Daddy laughs.)
Alex: At night he sleeps in his nap chair. He calls it his nap chair.
Daddy: Is it a nap chair?
Alex: Yeah, do you know why he calls it a nap chair?
Daddy: Why?
Alex: Because he naps in it!
(Daddy laughs.)
Claire (very dramatically): I’m taking your bracelet away!!
Alex: We don’t mind.
Claire: Daddy, I wanna play hide and seek.
Alex: And we don’t mind if (mumble) take the bed away, because we can sleep on the floor.
(Claire starts fussing.)
Claire (fussing): Ow. Ow.
Daddy: What’s wrong, Claire?
Claire (fussing): I hurt my toe, but –
Daddy: Claire, did you hurt your toe?
Alex: Uh-oh. That’ll never get there.
Claire (fussing): Daddy, I hurt my toe right here.
Daddy: Oh, do you want me to kiss it?
Claire (suddenly cheerful): Yeah and I wanna play hide and seek.
Daddy: You gonna play hide and seek?
Claire: Yeah, can you wanna play hide and seek with me?
Daddy: Yeah! Where are we gonna – what are we gonna do? Where are you gonna hide?
Claire: I’m gonna hide… in here!
(Claire goes behind the giraffe.)
Daddy: Okay, I’ll look for you there, okay?
Claire: Okay.
Daddy: Shall I count first?
Claire: Yeah you count first.
Daddy: Okay. And you’re gonna be hiding behind the giraffe?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay. So should I look there first, or should I look somewhere else first?
Claire: Somebody else first.
Daddy: Okay.
Daddy: One… two… three…
Claire: No – Daddy, lots of times!
Daddy: All right, how many times?
Claire: One… two, three, five. No no -- five.
Daddy: Okay.
Daddy: One, two, three, four, five.
Claire: Yeah, that many, five!
Daddy: All right, can I come look for you now?
Claire: No. Look… everywhere.
Daddy: All right, But I can – I can start looking now, or am I still counting?
Claire: You… start looking now.
Daddy: All right. Here I come!
Alex: Can I look with you, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, let’s go look for Claire. Don’t look behind the giraffe, we have to look some other places first.
Alex: Daddy, this sticky thing will stick to Claire and we’ll find her!
Daddy: Okay.
Daddy: Is Claire on the ceiling?
Alex: No, that’s not, that’s not, that’s -- Claire can’t --
Daddy: Maybe Claire’s outside in the yard.
Alex: -- Claire couldn’t get -- get even get out, side or on the ceiling, but if, there’s a ladder she could climb on the ceiling, but if – if she ran out the door, she could.
Daddy: Yeah?
Daddy: Maybe… she’s in the dollhouse.
Alex: Oh. Let’s look.
Daddy: Is she in there?
Alex: Oh! It’s so little, for a person!
Daddy: You think she wouldn’t fit?
Alex: No.
Daddy: Maybe she’s, um…
Alex: Maybe she, maybe we – she stick to something, so we can’t find her, and then she melted!
Daddy: And she melted?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: How are we gonna find her if she melted?
Claire (coming out of her hiding place): I see you, Daddy!!
Daddy: I heard something.
Alex: I think I hear Claire.
Claire: Peekaboo!
Daddy: It’s Claire! We found you!
Alex: I found her!
Claire: Now you guys – Alex hide, and Daddy hide.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Magnet.
Daddy: All right, Alex and Daddy are gonna hide.
Alex: We need to stick somewhere, um, so we can find, a place to hide. This is my best thing if I hide in this one!
(Daddy hides in the giraffe, and Alex goes into the other room to hide.)
Claire: I’m waiting to Alex to hide when he wants to.
Daddy: Okay.
(Alex comes running back to talk to Daddy.)
Alex: Where should I hide, Daddy?
Daddy: Why don’t you hide in the closet?
Alex: No.
Daddy: Under the dining room table?
Alex: No.
Daddy: Under a blanket?
Alex: No.
Daddy: Um… under the train table?
Alex: No under a blanket.
Daddy: Okay.
(Alex runs off and hides.)
(Claire comes directly to where Daddy is hiding.)
Claire: I found you, Daddy!
Daddy: You found me!
Claire: Now let’s find Alex!
Daddy: Okay, let’s find Alex.
Claire: Get out of this thing and I gonna find Alex.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Let’s find Alex, Daddy.
Daddy: All right, let’s find him.
(Claire and Daddy walk around and around, searching for Alex.)
Claire: Is he in here? No.
(Claire and Daddy walk around and around, searching for Alex.)
(Claire opens the pantry door.)
Claire: Oh, he’s not in there!
(Claire and Daddy walk around and around, searching for Alex.)
(Alex makes a noise under his blanket.)
Claire: I hear somebody!
(Claire uncovers Alex.)
(Alex laughs.)
Daddy: There you are! We found you!
Alex: I was hiding with a pillow and a blanket.
Claire: Now I’m gonna hide in here.
Claire: Daddy, can I hide and I’m gonna hide.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Can I seek, please?
Daddy: Yes.
Claire: And uh, you’re gonna seek, where, you count.
(The doorbell rings, and Gromit goes crazy. The kids run to the front door. It’s a salesman.)

Salesman: I’m with ADT, I’m not gonna try to sell you something…
(He proceeds to try to sell something. Daddy sends him away.)

Alex: What did he – what – what was he talking about?
Daddy: He, he just wanted to sell us something.
Alex: But we don’t want one?
Daddy: We don’t want what he’s selling.
Alex: What is it?
Claire: Now Daddy and Claire are gonna hide.
Daddy: A security system. All right, now Daddy and Claire are gonna hide.
Claire: Daddy and Claire.
Claire: Daddy, you hide where I’m gonna hide. You hide where you – (mumble)
Alex (in a sing-song chant): One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi…
Claire: Daddy, Daddy! In here!
Alex: …And, nine Mississippi…
(Claire and Daddy hide under a blanket.)
Daddy (whispering): Where are we hiding?
Claire (whispering): In here.
Alex: Mommy, have you seen Mommy and Claire?
Claire: No, he said, Daddy. (Mumble) Daddy and Claire.
Claire: Daddy he have to say, um, not Mommy and Claire, um, Daddy and Claire.
Alex: Have you seen, um, Claire and Daddy?
Mommy: I haven’t.
Alex: Can you help me find them?
Mommy: Okay. Who was at the door, Alex?
Alex: Well, it was a man that was selling something, and Daddy didn’t want what he was selling.
Claire: Juju and Mallory are hiding too.
Mommy: I think I hear Claire.
Alex: Let’s go find her.
(Alex and Mommy search for Daddy and Claire.)
Mommy: I see feet.
Alex: Yeah let’s go.
(Mommy laughs.)
Mommy: Wait! Now I just see one pair of big legs. What happened to the little feet?
(Claire giggles.)
Mommy: Wait, there they are!
(Claire giggles.)
Mommy: They’re right here!
(Claire giggles loudly.)
Mommy: Wait! I don’t see any feet any – wait, there they are!
(Claire keeps on giggling.)
Mommy: Wait, they’re gone again!
Alex: It’s Lofty!
(Claire takes the blanket off of herself and Daddy.)
Mommy: Oh! It’s Claire and Daddy!
(Alex laughs.)
Daddy: Peekaboo!
Claire: You found us!

That's in my mind.

(Alex and Claire are playing with Lincoln Logs. Alex has an idea.)
Alex: We can make it a zoo!
(Pause.)
Alex: And a train station! The train can take you to the zoo!
(Claire gasps.)
Claire: That's a good idea, Alex!
Alex (explaining): That's in my mind.


(For the last few days, Alex has been claiming that "It's Elly's birthday tomorrow", and so he has been building parties for her.)
Alex: This is Elly's first party. And she's really excited. So I have to build it for her.


Alex: Can I come with Meg over to Grandma's house tomorrow? Tomorrow's summer.


(Alex and Claire are building a village, or something.)
Alex: Daddy! This is where you stop for drinks!
Daddy: Oh! You're so creative!
Alex: I'm building Elly's present with Claire. Claire's being nice now.

Alex: Look at this boy. He's covered in fence.

Claire: I love my new shoes, Daddy.


(dinner)

Alex: Look, I made a pattern with my meatballs and strawberries!
Alex: Elly, look Elly. That's for you. That's for you, Elly. That's a pattern for you.

Claire: Are we going upstairs after this?
Mommy: Um, yeah.
Alex: But, what about Elly's party?

(Alex brings a big empty cardboard box over to Elly.)
Alex: Elly, look at this present I got for you. Try it out!
Elly (checking it out): Whee! Dee dee dee!

Daddy? Can you teach me how to do things today? So I can grow up and be a good daddy, and teach my kids things?

(Alex is very sick.)

Alex: I'm not gonna be able to work with trucks today, and we had to do a lot of important jobs, but now, um, we'll have to do it, next week.

Alex: Mommy, can I have a mirror? So I can see what's comin' outta my nose?


Claire: Daddy.
Daddy: Yes, Claire.
Claire: Um, I got the stem off the strawberry, all by myself!
Daddy: Good for you.


Alex (talking about the strawberries he picked): They grow from leaves.
Claire: What?
Alex: They grow from leaves. And they hide under leaves.
Claire: What?
Alex: They grow in the dirt. And they hide under leaves.
Claire: Oh.


Claire: Mommy, you have to close your eyes. Close your eyes.
(Mommy closes her eyes. Claire wipes her face.)
Claire: Surprise!!! Open your eyes!!!
Mommy: Did you get it all clean?
Claire: Yeah!
Mommy: Good for you!


Alex: Daddy? Can you teach me how to do things today? So I can grow up and be a good daddy, and teach my kids things?
Daddy: Yeah, that's a good idea.

Alex: Can we do it today? Just special Daddy time. Can we do that?
Daddy: Yeah.


Alex: Guess what's in Scoop's digger at Chuck E. Cheese's.
Daddy: I don't know.
Alex (whispering): Filcher.
Daddy: That's silly.
Alex: I don't know why. Maybe he was just crawling past him.


Alex: Now can you teach me some stuff?
Daddy: What can I teach you?
Alex: To drive the car, please.

Alex: Um, how 'bout… how 'bout you teach me… how to… how to um… how to um… how to read?
Daddy: Okay, that'll be fun! Let's do it!


Alex: I don't have anything in my brain.


Claire (proudly): I read all the numbers!


(Alex and Claire are playing.)
Alex: Oh! I have a idea! We could make a building! And then we can have a party in it. Let's get started, team!


Alex: Claire you need to stop doing this: when you see that a grown-up's eating something, you're not apposed to eat what they're eating.


(Claire is finger painting.)

Claire: I'm making a fingerprint party.

Claire: I can wipe my finger all by myself!


Daddy (to Mommy): I guess we should wake up Claire.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Oh no! I don't want you to wake up Claire, I'm playing with her dog!


(Alex is building with Lincoln Logs.)
Daddy: You did a good job building with Lincoln Logs!
Alex: They’re very hard though. But I can handle it.


Mommy: Daddy's downstairs now, Claire, you can tell him.
Claire (jumping up and down): Daddy!!! We're eating at the little table!!!


Alex: Mommy, Daddy, and Claire, all listen to my joke.
Alex: A man goes (unintelligible). Can I please have a drink?
Alex: Oh yeah.
Alex: And a sandwich, with some moostard on it.
Alex: Okay.
Alex: And some ketchup.
Alex: Wait -- wait a minute. But don't forget the bye!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: The pie.



(bed time)
Daddy: Night-night.
Alex: I'll see you on Memorials Day!

I want him to come back right now on this day.

Claire: Daddy, one day can we get a Blue's Clues book?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Because I love Blue's Clues.

Daddy: Claire, was that your pick?
Claire: Yeah. And Alex is still with Grandma but I want he to come back.
Daddy: I know. I want him to come back too.
Claire: I want him to come back right now on this day.

Claire: Daddy, play with me!

(Daddy and Claire have been playing Legos for an hour, and Daddy is slowing down.)
Claire: Daddy, play!
Claire: You have to play, Daddy!
Claire: Play, Daddy!
Mommy: Claire, can you stop saying that?
Claire: Can you play, Mommy?


(Mommy is putting on makeup.)
Claire: What's that?
Mommy: That's my new makeup.
Claire: When I'm a mommy, I can have new makeup!
Mommy: That's right.


Claire (to Mommy): I gave Daddy a kiss and a hug.
Mommy: Good.
Claire: And I love him.


(bath time)

Cookie Monster: Am I clean, Claire?
Claire: Yes you are clean, Cookie Monster.
Elmo: Am I clean, Claire?
Claire: You are, I just took you a bath.


(At bedtime, after Alex finishes saying his words.)
Alex: I didn't say all of them to Meg at my house, because I thought she might be laughing at all the body stuff.
Daddy: Did you say some of them to Meg?
Alex: Yeah. She liked them.


Alex: And Daddy, can you put, going to Grandma's house, for five days, one day, on my bucket list?
Daddy: Yes.
Alex: When I don't have a cold, too.
Daddy: Okay. Night-night.
Alex: Night-night. Write it all together.
Daddy: Okay.

What if I want to play basketball outside while I'm there?

Claire: Daddy? After nap and school can I play cars, and babies?



(The kids come home from school.)

Claire: Daddy! I have a leaf for you!
Claire: Daddy! I have a leaf for you!
Daddy: Oh, I love it! It's so pretty! Thank you!
Claire: It's from Mommy and Alex and me!



(Alex is packing a bag for an overnight stay at Grandma's house.)
Alex: I put my ball in there, all by myself!

(Alex explains why he packed a basketball in his overnight bag.)
Alex: What if I want to play basketball outside while I'm there?


(Alex is leaving for Grandma and Grandpa's house.)
Alex (to Daddy): One day can we go with Alex, Claire, Mommy, and Daddy --
(Alex leans in close.)
Alex: -- can you put that on my bucket list? And we can sleep there!

(Grandma's car pulls away.)
Claire: I don't want them to go.


Claire: Grommie and Mommy, and Daddy, and Claire time.
Mommy: That's right.


Claire: We're having a bracelet party!

Claire: At breakfast I love that medicine.

Claire: I need my chair.
Daddy: I'll get your chair for you.
Claire (running off to get it): I can get my chair!
Daddy: Oh that's right, you're so big!
Claire: Yeah, and I'm really strong!


Claire: I, love, cookies! Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy.

Claire: I have a special treat: cookies!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: But not Alex, he's at Grandma's.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I want he to come back to stay. I want he to come back. Every day he's, a long time, he doesn't come back.

Claire: Cookies are yummy. Daddy, cookies are yummy.
Daddy: They sure are.
Claire: And they're really crunchy.
Daddy: Yeah.

Claire: I ate special cookies!

Claire: Mommy? No, Daddy? Let's run!
(Claire notices her baby in the next room.)
Claire: My baby!
(Claire runs to get her baby.)
Claire: My baby my baby my baby my baby my baby!

(Claire is helping Daddy to feed Grommie.)
Daddy: Claire, are you gonna say "okay"?
Claire: Yeah! And pat my knee!

Mr. Cooker. Thank you for my breakfast but don't call me Shirnley.

Alex (to Daddy): Mr. Cooker. Thank you for my breakfast but don't call me Shirnley.
Claire: Thank you for my breakfast but don't call me Shirnley.


(Claire is feeling her hair.)
Claire: Mommy made me a braid.
Daddy: Yeah, isn't it nice? It's very pretty.
(Claire feels her hair some more.)
Claire: I love my braid.



Claire: Daddy, after I take my other sock, and roll my pants up. I'm gonna show you how to roll my pants up.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: When I get my other sock.
(Claire rolls up her pants.)
Claire: Look! That's how you do your -- you roll your pants up!

I love being your girl.

Claire: I'm gonna um, surprise Mommy.
Daddy: You will?
Claire: She won't see my waffle, um, all gone.
Daddy: Okay.



Mommy: You’re so sweet!
Claire: You’re so sweet!
Mommy: You’re my girl.
Claire: You’re my mommy.
Mommy: I love being your mommy.
Claire: I love being your girl.

They call it teedee teedee.

Alex: Do butterflies eat breakfast?
Mommy: They eat in the morning. They don't call it breakfast though.
Claire (grinning): They call it teedee teedee.

Alex: Have they already aten?
Mommy: Eaten. They're probably out looking for food right now.
Alex: Okay, Mr. Cooker. Don't call me Shirnley.
Claire: Okay, Mr. Cooker. Don't call me Shirley.
Alex (to Claire): Shirnley.
(Alex and Claire laugh.)



(dinner)

Claire: Do you like bagels, Alex? Do you love bagels, Alex? Don't call me Shurnee!

Claire: I smell um, gas, did somebody have gas?

I ever don’t go first.

(Daddy comes home from work.)
Claire: Daddy! I'm playing cars!


(dinner)

(Claire repeats Alex’s joke – from the day before – about the stomach sorting food.)
Claire: The pizza goes here... And the broccoli goes here!
(Claire laughs.)
Alex: You're takin’ my joke!
(Alex laughs.)

Alex (to Mommy): ‘Cause when I grow up, I wanna be a daddy!
Claire (to Mommy): And when I grow up, I'm gonna be a mommy, but I just have a mommy. I'm gonna be a mommy like you.

Claire (to Mommy):And when I'm a mommy, I'm gonna give you a hug and a kiss.

Alex: Daddy, can you put Neer, Jaap, Callum, um, all those on my bucket list, so when I grow up, I can have those kids?


Mommy (to Claire): You’re so sweet.
Claire (to Mommy): You’re so sweet to me!


Alex: I never go first.
Claire: I ever don’t go first.

Claire: I always don't go first!



Alex: Daddy, I want Claire to be Wendy tomorrow, because I have a runny nose and I don’t know if I can do all the jobs. So I want you to tell Claire to be Wendy, and she can do all the work for me.

A… rabbit!!

Mommy: I guess I'll try Allegra for the kids.
Alex (smiling): Allegra is at Oakley’s house, Allegra is coming to our house, and we can smell her, so we'll feel better.


Claire (in her sleep, enthusiastically): A… rabbit!!


(playing in the playroom)

Alex: Oh my hat!

Alex: Okay everyone! Time for the celebration show to start!


(Alex and Claire are taking a bath together.)

Elmo: Oh no, I'm gonna be canceled!

Claire: What's "canceled"?

Why do people wear belts when they go to work?

(This comes from out of the blue.)
Alex: Daddy, can you look on my bucket list and see if there’s a Hello Kitty shirt, ‘cause I want a Hello Kitty shirt. See if there’s a word that says, “I want a Hello Kitty shirt, like Claire.”

Alex: If it’s not on there, put um, put it on there, because I want a Hello Kitty shirt.



Alex: I hope Claire’s excited about the Spring Fling this day.



Claire: Does Mommy have the internet at work?


Claire: I'm really strong to carry the chairs!


(Mommy wakes up and comes downstairs.)
Claire: Mommy! I'm playing Play-Doh, do you wanna play Play-Doh? There's no school.


(Alex and Claire are playing Bob the Builder.)
Alex: Lofty? Lofty? Is Lofty taking a shower, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Lofty is Mommy, and she's taking a shower. So we don't need her, for these jobs.


Alex: Daddy? Why do people wear belts when they go to work?
Daddy: Um, I guess it's just… it helps hold their pants up.
Alex: Oh. I was thinking that too.


(Daddy is driving Alex to soccer practice.)

Alex: He lifted the bears all the way to the quiet place, and them um – the foxes took them. It was empty!
Daddy: The foxes took them?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Well real foxes don’t take things.
Alex: Oh. Well what do foxes look like? Are they camouflaged so we can’t see them very much?
Daddy: No, foxes are um, kind of red, um…or kind of orange, and they look sorta like cats, um… but with pointier noses… They do look kinda like Swiper.
Alex: Oh.
Daddy: Swiper’s a fox.
Alex: Oh, yeah.
Daddy: He takes things.
Alex: That’s a pretend fox.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And, foxes don’t talk. Um, so, Swiper’s a pretend.
Daddy: Yeah.

(Later, still in the car.)
Alex: Running starts with R.
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: And, just like right. I’m on right, and run starts with R too.
Daddy: Good!
Alex: Claire’s on left. And um, lion starts with, um… L too.
Daddy: Good.
Alex: You’re – you’re on Mommy’s seat right now, so that’s, left. And nobody’s in this seat. This is right.
Daddy: Good, you’ve got your left and your right! Good for you!
Alex: But I always look right.
Alex: So I’m gonna look to left.
Daddy: Okay.

Alex: Why’s it so bumpy on that road? And it’s not so black?
Daddy: Um –
Alex: Not so dark blue?
Daddy: It’s a different kind of a road, and – it crack, had a lot of cracked in it, and so they had to put a lot of patches on it, and the patches are kind of bumpy.
Alex: What are the patches look like?
Daddy: Well the patches are, are asphalt –
Alex: It isn’t – are they yellow?
Daddy: Uh no, the patches are the black part.
Alex: Okay. Yeah.
Daddy: Like, like this road is all asphalt, that’s why it’s a – a black road, or gray. And it doesn’t get as bumpy because the asphalt doesn’t crack as much as that other stuff. Which I think is… cement, I guess.
Alex: Rocks are not… suh… suh-phalt. Uh it’s not, um they have, little bumps on ‘em that you can’t see. Right Alex: Daddy? And then, you, that’s why you bump on them so much.
Daddy: On rocks?
Alex: Yeah?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And the rocks on the road are so bumpy, so that’s why they’re made of… rasphalt. Right Daddy?
Daddy: Well um, the asphalt… the asphalt’s really smooth because a steamroller… mushed it really down.
Alex: Like Rollie!
Daddy: Like Rollie. And, ‘cause the asphalt has lots of little rocks in it, but then the steamroller flattens it until it’s all flat and smooth and no bumps in it.
Alex: But, the – does the crane lift ‘em up? And then – and then – and then the steam roller flattens it down, after our (unintelligible) on? Does a crane do it?
Daddy: Oh, to puts it on there?
Alex: Yeah?
Daddy: Um… no, I think there’s a special kind of truck for laying asphalt that’s kind of like a dump truck.
Alex: What is it?
Daddy: I don’t know what it’s called.
Alex: If – if I need to go potty while I’m playing soccer, can I go potty?
Daddy: Yeah, they have a potty here.
Alex: If I can stop and just, go potty?
Daddy: Yeah.


(Alex is walking onto the soccer field with Daddy.)
Alex (grinning): Maybe Coach Won’t is gonna be here.


(After soccer practice, Daddy kicks the ball at the goal, and misses.)
Daddy: I missed.
Alex: You can try again next, next spring, okay, Daddy?


(Daddy is driving Alex home from soccer practice.)

Alex: Um – they’ll – it -- maybe two gentlemen did it, and one was tired, so he went home.
Daddy: So you said one of the gentlemen?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Yeah. That’s how that started. You’re talking about that sidewalk?
Alex: Mm-hm.
(Pause.)
Alex: That’s funny.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: I’m just joking. Somebody couldn’t do that!
Daddy: Okay. Silly.
Alex: Right Daddy? They couldn’t do that, right?
Daddy: They couldn’t do that, no.

Alex: I wonder what they’re building over there? Maybe they’re just cleaning up some grass. Maybe they’re making a new road.
Daddy: Maybe. They have a lot of trucks.
Alex: Yep. But I – I didn’t see any steamrollers. I didn’t see any steamrollers.
Daddy: No steamrollers.
Alex: Well then, what are they doing?
Daddy: I don’t know. I guess they’re not doing a road, huh?
Alex: Yeah. Maybe they’re just um – putting a sidewalk there.
Daddy: Maybe they’ll build a building.
Alex: I hope not because cars – cars mi – cars might um – I don’t think cars’ll be able to get to that building.
Daddy: Yeah. That’s a good point.
Alex: Because – the track just goes straight. Doesn’t it Daddy, and it doesn’t go turning.
Daddy: Right.
Alex: So we don’t need a building there. I think they’re just building telephone lines there, Daddy.
Daddy: Just telephone lines?
Alex: Um, yeah like that. You see, electricity lines?
Daddy: Oh, yeah.
Alex: Towers. Or, maybe they’re just, makin’ a tower. But, why is there towers? Can mans climb on towers to fix the light?
Daddy: Yes. The workman can do that.

Daddy: Do you wanna do soccer tomorrow?
Alex: Uh… um…
Daddy: They have one more soccer, and it’s tomorrow, which is on Sunday. And then it’ll be summer and there’s no more soccer.
(Pause.)
Alex: Are we doing the beach house?
Daddy: Um no, it’s not time for the beach house yet, but we’ll go there in the summer.
Alex: Um, after that summer, then we’re going to the beach house?
Daddy: Well no, during summer, we’ll go to the beach house during the summer. There’s Coach Carlos driving right next to us.
Alex (laughing): Oh yeah. He’s driving, in a car!


(Alex gets home from soccer.)
Mommy: How was it?
Alex: Good. I did everything.
Mommy: You did?! Good job!


Alex (talking to himself as he plays by himself): A monkey's gonna take my toolbox to the um, to the yard, to fix it. And I'm gonna get some nails.



(Alex is in timeout, and yelling angrily at Daddy.)

Alex (shaking his finger at Daddy): No, ma'am, Daddy!! That's -- that's -- that's a bad choice!! Bad choice, Daddy!!

Alex: No, Daddy! Bad choice!

Alex: No, ma'am! All of you!

(Timeout is over.)
Alex: No! I don’t want timeout to be over!
Mommy: Okay, you can stay there as long as you want.
Alex: No! I want another timeout!

Yellow stuff came out.

Alex: Daddy, look what happened when I sneezed.
Daddy: What?
Alex: Yellow stuff came out.

That was in my brain, too!

Alex: Can I have another waffle with syrup on it?
Daddy: Yes.
Alex: And butter?
Daddy: Yes. Yes indeed, Mistereeno.
Alex: And don't call me Shirley!
Claire: Call me Shirley!



(Mommy and Daddy are both taking the kids to school, and Alex asks who is taking whom to whose class.)
Daddy: Well maybe Mommy will take Claire to her class, and I can take you to your class.
Alex: I thought that too! I thought that too, Daddy. That was in my brain, too!


(bed time)

Alex and Daddy (singing): Lullaby, and good night, go to sleep little Alex
Alex and Daddy (singing): Mommy loves you, Daddy too, Claire and Grommie love you
Alex and Daddy (singing): Nana and Pop, Grandma and Grandpa --
Alex (interrupting): Daddy, why do people have curtains on their windows? That's my question.

Alex: I'm tired, I don't wanna say my words.
Daddy: Well you don't have to.
Alex: I have to!
Daddy: Why do you have to?
Alex: Because I want to and I have to!

Can I, be a man, one day?

(in the car on the way to the allergist)

Alex: How do they make shows, Mommy?

Claire: How do you take a picture?

Alex: One day can we make a show that goes on TV?

Claire: A bridge!

Claire: Can I take Juju in there?

Claire: I saw a trash can! Mommy, I saw a trash can!

Alex: It’s dark out still. We have to go back home and go to bed.


(At the allergist’s waiting room)
Alex: Toys!



(After the allergist, the family goes by Primrose to find out if Alex’s class has soccer practice today. Mommy goes inside to find out, while Daddy, Alex, and Claire wait in the car. While they wait, they watch some men take wheelbarrows of mulch out onto the playground.)

Alex: Okay? So that’s – that’s how I want to explain it.
Alex: But the car parked there. So I can’t see.
Claire: And so I can’t see, either. But you can see the, um, um, part of that truck. And that car window.
Claire: You can see a little of the truck and that car window.
(Claire laughs.)
Alex: You can see a, a little of the trailer, and a little, uh, the, uh, a little where the man sits. The cabin.
Claire: Yeah.
Claire: Is Mommy in?
Daddy: Yeah, she’s inside.
Claire: Are we not gonna go inside?
Daddy: You’re not gonna go in, ‘cause you don’t wanna go to school, right?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: No.
Claire: I are not gonna go to soccer because, I not four. Right?
Alex: Well you can still do the school so – soccer.
Daddy: Yeah you can still do the school soccer.
Alex: We just – don’t know, if we’re gonna do soccer!

Alex: What kind of truck is that, Daddy?
Daddy: It’s a van.
Alex: What does a van do?
Daddy: Um… that van is like a utility van, and it carries the – all the men’s stuff. For when they need to go work on something.
Claire: Is Alex gonna go in?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: We’ll see.
Claire: We’ll see.
Claire: Will Mommy come back here –
Alex: Is Claire gonna go in?
Daddy: No.
Claire: Because, I don’t want school. If there’s school next time, I can tell, um, Alex, I can go to school next time. But I don’t wanna go to school this day because I don’t wanna go in. I don’t want to go to school.
Alex: Well Claire, you’ll say that again tomorrow.
Alex: But I need somebody to play with I, if, if I don’t wanna go to school. But I’ll have one today!
Claire: Will Alex go in school?
Claire: Will Alex go in school, Daddy?
Daddy: Um – he – he will if they’re gonna do soccer.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: Uh – are – are – are we late – are we really late for jobs?
Daddy: Yeah, they did jobs already.
Alex (upset): Oh nooo!
Daddy: But that’s okay, because if you go, you’ll only go for soccer. And –
Alex: Then I’ll go back home, right?
Daddy: Yeah. If that’s what you –
Alex: Will you watch me?
Daddy: Um no, I have to go to work.
Alex: Who’s gonna stay with us at home?
Daddy: Mommy.
Alex: Will she play with us?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I want to play monsters!
Alex: Let’s play calm game.
Claire: I want to play monsters, (mumble), at home.
Alex: Well let’s play, um a calmer game.
Claire: Um uh, what is a calmer – what is a calmer, game mean?
Alex: I don’t know. We can play...
Claire: I want to play tea party with Mommy.
Alex: Let’s play cars!
Claire: I don’t wanna, okay. And I wanna play tea party.
Alex, will you play cars? And I’m gonna play tea party.
Alex (breathless): I can’t talk right now, okay? I have too many scratches on me.
Alex: Scratches.
Alex: Ow ow ow.
Alex: What – but what is this van doing here?
Claire: What van?
Alex: That van.
(Alex gasps.)
Alex: Uh! The tree house is gone!
Claire: There’s the tree house.
Alex: It’s gone? Oh, yeah.
Claire: There’s the tree house!
Alex (angrily): I saw it.
Claire (mimicking Alex’s tone): I saw it.
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: Mean! Mean!
Alex: Claire’s being mean to me.
Claire: I’m nooot!

(Mommy returns.)
Mommy: Okay, sorry. They are doing soccer. They’re having snack in a couple of minutes, and then they’re gonna do soccer. Do you wanna go in for snack and soccer?
Alex: Mmmm… okay.
Mommy (to Daddy): Do you want me to take you home first? Or, can I drop him off now.
Daddy: You can drop him off now.
Alex: Well, I want to have soccer.
Mommy: They are. They’re gonna do soccer in a couple minutes. After snack.
Alex: Well, we –
Mommy: Do you want to get a snack first?
Alex: Uh…
Mommy: Aren’t you hungry?
Alex: We could do it at home though.
Mommy: I thought you wanted to do soccer, I just talked to Miss Kidd.
Alex: She said yes?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Well I wanna do it at home now.
Mommy: You don’t wanna do soccer here?
Alex: No.
(Pause.)
Mommy: Okay. You sure?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: You could go in, you could go in and do soccer, and then –
Mommy: Then I’ll pick you up, right after soccer.
Daddy: -- then Mommy’ll get you. And you can go home and play.
Alex: Okay.
Mommy: You do wanna do that? And I’ll come get you right after soccer?
Claire: Mommy, let’s play tea party! Let’s play tea party!
Mommy: And then we’ll have something special for lunch, okay?

Claire: Can we walk home? I wanna walk home.

Claire: I wanna drive home. I wanna drive home.
Daddy: Yeah let’s drive home.

(Mommy takes Alex into the school, leaving Claire and Daddy waiting in the car.)

Claire: You can take me home, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: And Mommy can, um, um, drive.
Daddy: right.
Claire: You can um, wait til we get home, and Mommy can drive it.
Claire: They’re going in school.
Daddy: That’s right. Alex is gonna go to soccer.
Claire: Can I, be a man, one day?
Daddy: Can you be a man one day?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: No but you can be a woman.
Claire: Okay.
Daddy: That sound good enough?
Claire: Yeah.
Claire: Are tho – are those womans?
Daddy: No those are mans.
Claire: Hm.
Claire (sadly): I wanna be a man.
Daddy: Okay. If that’s what you want.
Claire: I wanted that.
Daddy: Okay.
(Pause.)
Claire: One day can, I wanna be a man.
Daddy: Okay.
Daddy: What are you gonna do when you’re a man?
Claire: Um… get, um, dirt and, um… push the dirt into, my back yard.
Daddy: Yeah? Does that look like fun?
Claire: Yeah. Then I’m gonna drive to a different, um – no I’m gonna put mulch in, my um, um, outside, at school. Then I’m gonna drive to a different, uh, one. But, and there’s nose – I’m gonna drive to a different, um, um, playground.

Claire: A purple car!
Daddy: Neat!
Claire: Do you like purple?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Do you like purple?
Daddy: Yes.
Claire: Oh. I like purple too.

(Mommy returns.)
Claire: Mommy’s back in!!
Mommy: I’m back.
Claire: Yay!! Let’s go home and play tea party!
Mommy: They better do soccer.
Claire: I wanna go home and do tea party with Daddy and Mommy!
Mommy: Daddy has to go to work though, right?
Claire: Oh.
Daddy: Yeah, Daddy has to go to work.
Claire: Does Mommy have to go to work?
Mommy: No.
Claire: Are you gonna stay with me and play tea party?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Oh.
Mommy: And then we’re gonna go pick up some lunch and then we’re gonna go get Alex, okay?
Claire: ‘Kay. But I’m hungry too.
Mommy: I know. Let’s go get a snack.
Claire: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Claire: And can I eat a little of your lunch too?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: ‘Kay.


Mommy: You talking to your socks?
Claire: Yeah, no I'm talking to the letters on my socks.


Claire (to Daddy): Go to work!


(Mommy is going to get lunch for everyone from Chick-Fil-A.)
Claire: Can we have, um, um, um french fries?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: And can we have chicken nuggets from Chick-Fil-A?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Those two things.
Claire: But -- I want some other stuff. Think -- water from Chick-Fil-A. But I'm gonna get some other water.
(Claire takes her water cup to the sink.)
Claire: I'm gonna spill this water out so I can get fresh water, Mommy.

Mommy: Claire, are you allergic to peanuts?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: That's right. Is Alex allergic to peanuts?
Claire: Yeah.
Claire: Two of my kids, are um --
(Mommy starts laughing. Claire joins in.)

(Claire brings in a stick from the back yard.)
Claire: Um, Daddy? Um this stick is for you and me.

When you have a dream, you're really in your bed.

(breakfast)

Alex: Daddy, some people call storms, by weather. And some people call them just storms.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: The two flowers were tossed together!

Alex: There's nothing on my plate so I think I wanna be all done.


Alex: When you have a dream, you're really in your bed.


(Claire sees a box of baking ingredients at school.)
Claire: Making stuff! Look, Daddy!


(Claire talks to herself as she washes her hands and walks to the dinner table.)
Claire: Rub it and rub it and rub it and rub it, and wash, and put the soap away, and wipe my hands, and walk, and walk, and walk to my chair.

Bored means you don't have anybody to play with.

Alex (to Claire): Bored means you don't have anybody to play with.


Claire: Alex, I like your pants.
Alex: Thank you. They're nice and green.


Alex: Your bones break if you eat something off the floor, right Daddy?


(Daddy comes home from work, and Alex greets him at the door as follows.)
Alex: Daddy, you should be really nice to me, because I have a lip, and it's hurting still. I bumped it on Claire's bed when we were going down for nap.


Daddy: Alex, if you could only have one hand, and you had to get rid of one, which one would you keep?
Alex: Both of them!
(Daddy laughs.)
Alex: And I would cut Daddy's hand off! And you would have only one hand.
Alex: And you wouldn't be able to climb up a ladder, or anything!


Daddy (singing): It's raining, it's pouring
Alex (singing): A man is in bed snoring
Alex (singing): He bumped his head and went to bed, snoring
(Alex laughs.)
Alex (singing): The old man was boring



Alex: I wanna be an astronaut.

Claire: I wanna be an astronaut too.

Mommy: You have to study lots of math and science and you can be an astronaut.
Alex: What kind of math and science?
Mommy: Um… I guess… physics and algebra and calculus and --
Alex: What are those?
Mommy: Math. And science.
Alex: What are math and science?
Mommy: Science is the study of how things work, and math is how things work too.

And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!

Claire: Daddy, is there school?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Is there school?
Daddy: No school today, it's Sunday.
Claire: Oh.
Claire: Mommy, there's no school!


(Claire reads "The Little Engine That Could" to her baby doll.)

Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!

Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around the room!
Claire: And the train looked up again! And there was more animals around the room!
Claire (quietly): And the train looked up again! There was more animals around the room!
Claire: It's sunny outside!
Claire: And the train looked up again! There was more animals around the room!
Claire: And the train looked up again! There was more animals around the room!
Claire: And the train looked up again! There was more animals around the room!

Alex (to Daddy): I found a ashleye. I found a ashleye that was trying to get in my eye. Is this a ashleye?

(Alex is playing with Legos.)
Alex: And they came and there was more animals in the room.
Alex: And they came and there was more animals in the room.
Alex: And they came and there was more animals in the room.
Alex: And they came and there was more animals in the room.
Alex: And they came and there was more animals in the room.

Claire: Why you say "There was more animals around the room"? Why you say that?


Claire (whining): I want Alex to play Legos with me.
Daddy: Well I think Alex is playing baby dolls.


(Claire is in the bathroom.)
Alex: Claire, can you hurry up? 'Cause I really need to go poop.
Claire: 'Kay, I'll hurry up.
Alex: I'll tell you a story while I poop.


(Claire brings a flower in from the yard.)
Claire: Daddy, do you wanna smell my um, flower?


Alex: You can't close your eyes when you're resting.
Claire: Why can't I close my eyes?
Daddy: You can close your eyes, Claire.
Alex: You can close your eyes, but you don't have to. Those are just two ways to rest.


(Everyone is riding in the car.)
Alex: I saw some trash on the road.
Mommy: Me too.
Claire: But I didn't see it.
Alex: That’s okay.
Alex: We might see some more on the road.

Daddy, can you teach me how to drive the car?

Alex: I'm excited about soccer!


(at soccer)

Alex: Can I be a daddy and a soccer player?

Alex: I saw a motorcycle!
Daddy: Oh yeah!
Alex: Just like Sergeant Murphy!
(Alex laughs.)



Alex: Daddy, can you teach me how to drive the car? And um -- and -- then you have to put it on my bucket list.

Mommy: Tell me about soccer.
Alex: Um -- I got, um -- I got five goals.
Mommy: Five?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: Whoa, good job! That's a lot!
Alex: That is a lot. And then I got tired, and tired, and tired, and tired, and pop!
Alex: My brain popped down.


(Claire pooped a little on the potty.)

Claire: I wanna tell Daddy! And I want chocolate!

Claire: Daddy, I pooped!

Alex: Can we take a movie of eating chocolate?


(Daddy pumps gas.)
Alex: Daddy, one day can you show me what the gas looks lilke, and I can, watch you put the gas in, can you put that on my bucket list?



Daddy: Claire, tell me about the party.
Claire: Um, I sit beside Vince.
Daddy: You sat beside Vince?
Claire: Yeah, um, at the party, when I was doing the video.

Daddy: What else did you do at the party, Claire?
Claire: Um. I don't know. No, um, Morgan, um. I -- I -- I slide down the -- I slide down the far down slides, Daddy!
Mommy: She slid down the big slides.
Claire: And I rolled down, too!
Daddy: You rolled?
Claire: When I slide down I rolled!


Alex (talking to the weather): Can you please stop thundering? I'll give you a cookie if you stop thundering.


(Mommy is talking to Claire about what she wants for her birthday party.)
Claire: My whole family.
Mommy: Who's your whole family?
Claire: Um Daddy and Alex and me and you. But not Grommie!

Mommy: So lots of balloons, and Mommy, Daddy, Alex, and you… and that's it?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: And you want a Cars party?
Claire: Yeah.


Alex (scared of a thunderstorm): When there's big thunderstorms, and they go away, is there some weird kind of lightning?

Can you put that on my bucket list?

(Claire comes home from school, and runs to give Daddy a hug.)
Claire: Daddy! I saw your car!

Claire: Daddy's home and Grandma's home, Daddy!

Alex: Claire! Claire! Can I tell you something?
Alex: Claire bear!
(Claire runs over to Alex.)
Alex: Claire, maybe you could show Grandma your tea party.


Alex: Can you put that on my bucket list?
Daddy: That we're gonna play with a toy volcano?
Alex: Yeah.

And lungs and blungs and drugga-drug-drungs.

(Alex and Claire are watching Caillou.)

Alex: Daddy, one day can we make apple pie, and can you put that on my bucket list?
Claire: Can you put apple pie on my bucket list too?

Alex: One day can we go on a little ferry boat, or a big ferry boat, can you put that on my bucket list?


(dinner)

Daddy: So, what are you gonna do for Grandpa’s birthday?
Alex: We can make a movie for him, make a card, or buy a present, wrap it up, and…
Claire: Mommy? Mommy?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: … we can make a card. We can make a picture of him.
Claire: Um… that – um, that looks like sugar.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: Mm-hm.
Daddy: What do you think Grandpa wants for his birthday?
Alex: A car.
Daddy: A car.
Claire: But… um…
Daddy: How do you know he’ll like it?
Alex: Mm-hm.
Daddy: How do you know he’ll like it?
Claire: Hey, the (mumble) baby.
Alex: Because, he likes cars. He has it at his house.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And trucks.
Daddy: And trucks?
Alex: Well, I guess he likes cars and trucks. He’ll like whatever he, he – he’ll like whatever I picked out for him.
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Daddy: And how old is Grandpa gonna be?
Alex: What?
Daddy: How old is Grandpa gonna be?
Claire: He’s black. That’s black.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Sixty-seven.
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Claire: But he looks like he’s swimming.
Mommy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Sixty-four.
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Sixty-five.
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Sixty-one?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Ninety?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Seventy?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Eighty?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: How much will he be?
Daddy: Seventy-nine.
Alex: Seventy-nine?
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Ask me how old he’ll be.
Daddy: You want me to ask you?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: How old will Grandpa be?
Alex: Seventy-nine.
Daddy: Good!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: Your tell – your – you tell me.
Daddy: Claire? How old will Grandpa be?
Claire: Seventy-nine.
Daddy: That’s right.
Daddy: And what are you gonna do for your Grandpa.
Claire: Um….
Claire: Sing songs to him.
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Sing bongs and longs and bongs to him.
Daddy: Are you gonna sing him a song?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: And, draw him a picture?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Songs and blongs and drongs and…
Claire: Can I draw him a house?
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Claire: Okay.
Alex: Draw drawla.
Claire: ABCs.
Alex: And lungs and blungs and drugga-drug-drungs.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire (singing): ABC…
Alex: Drungs and tongues and la la la
Claire (singing): ACDEFG
Alex: Like a shrugga, shrucka, lucka?
Claire (singing): HIJKLMOP
Alex: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-blah
Claire (singing): QRS
Alex: Drup drucka lucka luck lack lack lack
Claire (singing): TUV, WX, Y and Z
Alex: Bulla bulla bulla bulla blah blah block!
Claire (singing): Now I know my ABCs
Alex and Claire (singing in unison): Next time won’t you sing with –
Claire (upset): No!
Claire: Next time won’t --
Alex: Sing with me.
Claire: Sing with me.
Claire (whiny): I don’t want you to sing with me.
Alex (whiny): I want to sing with you too, I want to sing with Claire.
Daddy (laughing): There’s a little irony there.
Claire (whiny): But I was, um, doing that to Grandpa.
Mommy: Aw.
Claire: I don’t want Alex to sing with me.
Daddy: Okay. Claire, what’s your favorite thing about Grandpa?
Claire: Um…
Alex: Can you put “I love Grandpa” on it?
Claire: I don’t know.
Daddy: What do you like about Grandpa?
Alex: We don’t have to say it, we can, we can just write it?
Claire: I wanna draw pictures.
Daddy: What do you like about your Grandpa?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Um… I don’t know.
Daddy: What does he do for you that you like?
Claire: Um… get me food.
Daddy: Get you food?
(Alex laughs.)
Daddy: Alex, what do you like about your Grandpa?
Claire: This looks like a boat!
Alex: I like when – I like when he brings me some cars to play with.
Daddy: Yeah. You guys like to play with cars.
Alex: And bars!
Claire: It looks like a boat. It looks – looks like a boat. This looks like a boat, Mommy.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: And bars!
Daddy: And bars. What color is Grandpa?
Alex: He’s shiny!
Daddy: Shiny?
Alex: Mm-hm.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: What – what doesn’t have a color, Daddy?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Can you ask me?
Daddy: What doesn’t have a color?
Alex: Me!
Alex: Do I? But your hair has a color: black.
(Claire says something unintelligible.)
Alex: Brown. Does Claire have brown or black hair?
Daddy: Brown.
Alex: Brown, and I have brown too. Sort of.
Claire: And I have brown.
Daddy: Alex, what – what is Grandpa’s son?
Claire: But Mommy has brown, Daddy.
Daddy: Who’s Grandpa’s son, what’s his name.
Claire: Daddy, Mommy has brown.
Alex: Daddy.
Daddy: That’s right.
Claire: Mommy has brown.
Alex: Am – am I his son, too?
Daddy: No you’re his grandson. And who is Grandpa’s daughter?
(Alex thinks.)
Alex: Aunt Sheridan.
Daddy: That’s right! Good!
(A laughs.)
Daddy: Claire, who is Grandpa married to?
Claire: Um…
Alex: Grandson!
Daddy: Who did he marry?
Alex (whispering the answer to Claire): You. You. You.
Claire: You!
Daddy: Who’s Grandpa’s wife?
Claire: Um…
Alex: Grandma.
Claire: Grandma.
Daddy: That’s right.
Daddy: What animal is Grandpa most like?
Alex: I don’t know.
Claire: A lion.
Daddy: A lion?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Why?
Claire: I don’t know.
Daddy (to Alex): What do you think Grandpa’s like?
Daddy: Is he like a squirrel?
Daddy: A bird?
Daddy: A chicken?
Alex: I want to know what he likes, I don’t know.
Daddy: What does Grandpa like to eat?
Alex: Ground beef.
Daddy: Ground beef?
(Daddy laughs.)
Alex: He likes chicken?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Does he?
Daddy: Yeah he does.
Claire: Daddy, did you want, um, some more rice?
Daddy: No, I’ve had enough, thank you.
Claire (to Mommy): You want some mores?
Mommy: No thanks.
Daddy: Claire, what -- Claire, what does Grandpa like to eat?
Claire: Um… rice.
Daddy: Rice?
Alex: Mommy? He was married with you, right?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Married with Mommy.
Mommy: Daddy?
Alex: Mommy and Daddy, Mommy. Mommy and Daddy.
Mommy: What?
Alex: Mommy and Daddy were married with Grandpa!
Daddy: We’re married with Grandpa? Well, we married each other. Grandpa was there.
Alex: Grandma?
Daddy: Grandma was there too.
Alex: Meg?
Daddy: Uh, Meg was there too, yeah.
Alex: Virginia.
Daddy: Uh, wait, Meg was not there, actually. Virginia was there.
Mommy: Meg was in Aunt Sheridan’s tummy.
(Alex laughs.)
Daddy: Yeah, I guess she was sorta there. She couldn’t hear very well. She couldn’t see at all.
Alex: That’s silly.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Alex –
Alex: And then she popped out of her tummy!
Daddy: That’s right.
Alex: How – how can she – how can you get out of a tummy?
Daddy: How can you get out of a tummy?
(Alex giggles.)
Mommy: The doctor takes you out at the hospital.

Claire: Everything. I ate all of my food.
Daddy: Oh, good. I ate all of my food.

Alex: Can we have a dessert after dinner?
Mommy: You can have some strawberries. And blueberries.

Alex (to Daddy): Did you have gas?
Daddy: I did not.
Alex: It came out of your mouth!
Daddy: The gas came out of my mouth?
Alex: You burped!
Daddy: No, I didn’t.
Alex: You had a hiccup.
Daddy: Nope, no hiccups either.
Alex: You coughed.
Daddy: Nope.
Alex: You sneezed.
Daddy: Nope.
Alex: You have a stuff – stuffy nose.
Daddy: Nope.
Alex: You have a red eye.
Daddy: No.
Alex: You can’t hear.
Daddy: No, I can hear.
Alex: You have… you have – are you mad?
Daddy: No, I’m not mad.
Alex: Is your head big?
Daddy: Yes, my head is big.
Alex: Can you eat?
Daddy: I can eat.
Alex: Do you have one teeth? You have one tooth?
Daddy: No I have more than one tooth.
Daddy: How many teeth do you have?
Alex: More than one tooth. Ahhhhhhh!
Daddy: How many are there?
Alex (quickly): One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve – eleven!
Daddy: Eleven?
Claire: I have – I have, five, tooth.
Alex: Count them.
Daddy: Five?
Alex: Count them.
Daddy: All right, open your mouth.
Daddy: One two three – twenty!
Alex: Twenty?
Claire: I open my mouth.
Daddy: One two three – twenty!
Daddy: That’s a lot.
Alex: Hey. Let’s count our teeth all together.