I'm dressed like a dog and a fire hat and a fire engine!

Alex: If you ask my teacher, that's the only idea I have.
Daddy: Ask your teacher what?
Alex: To not take me to preschool.

(Alex sees the PJs that Mommy picked out for him tonight.)
Alex: Oh, new PJs! The new PJs that I got from Uncle Ed and Uncle Kirk.

Alex: I'm gonna be a dog and a fire truck when I get on these!

(Alex is now wearing his new PJs.)
Alex: I'm dressed like a dog and a fire hat and a fire engine!

I don't wanna go to preschool.

(The following phrase was repeated several times throughout the morning.)
Alex: I don’t wanna go to preschool.


Alex (to Mommy): Underwear is called undie pants.


Mommy: Let go.
(Alex’s response is inaudible.)
Mommy: That's not my tummy.
Alex: What is it?
Mommy: It's my breast.
Alex: Oh.
(Pause.)
Alex: I don't have a breast.
Mommy: No, women have them.


(Mommy puts Alex down for nap, then goes downstairs. Alex shouts down the stairs.)
Alex: Mommy?!
Mommy (shouting back up the stairs): Yeah.
Alex: I didn't say all the door stuff.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: Play door frame, what is it?
Mommy: Door frame.
Alex: And play door knob, and play door frame, and play door, and bang on the door.
Mommy: Okay.

My head's too big, Mommy.

(Daddy is taking Alex and Claire to Petsmart. As they drive down the driveway, Claire sees the newspaper lying in the driveway.)
Claire: Need pick it up.
Daddy: That’s right, Claire.
Daddy: Maybe when we get home you can help me pick it up. And we can give Mommy her coupons.
Alex: Okay.
Daddy: That can be your job.
Claire (smiling): “Here you go, Mommy!” Say, “Here go, Mommy!”


(driving in the car)

Alex: I can't see anything Claire says.

Claire: My shoes is really big.


(Alex is looking at a densely packed goldfish tank at Petsmart.)
Alex: It’s like Circle Time.


(Alex sings a long nonsense song.)
Alex: Wasn't that a good song, Claire? It was about milk -- and water!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: It was about juice -- and strollers!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: It was about cakes -- and microphones!
(Alex laughs.)



(Mommy is having trouble taking off Alex’s shirt.)

Alex: My head’s too big, Mommy.

Alex: You see it’s so big.


(dinner)

Alex: It’s not heavy, Claire. I’ll show you how you can pick it up. I’ll show you how to pick up your pasta.

Mommy: What do you wanna be for Halloween, Alex?
Alex: I wanna be a cat.

Mommy: Alex, you can think about it, if you want. What you wanna be for Halloween. Okay?
Alex: Hmmm. I wanna be a chair!

Mommy: And Claire, you can think about about what you wanna be too.
Alex: You wanna be a bib, Claire?
Claire: No.
Mommy: Good answer, Claire.

Alex: Can I be a mouth for Halloween?
Mommy: Yeah. But you hafta think about it. And not keep changing your mind, okay?
Alex: Okay.
Alex: I think I'm gonna be a banana. I think I'm gonna be a banana.
Mommy: You wanna be a banana?
Alex: Yeah.
Claire: I want banana.
Mommy: We don't have bananas, Claire.
Alex: I was saying I wanted to be a banana, Claire. For Halloween. Not eat banana.

Alex (to Claire, upset): You made me sad.
Claire (smiling): Yeah.
Alex: You made me sad, that's not funny.
(Claire giggles.)
Alex: That's not funny!
(Claire giggles.)
Mommy (scolding): Claire.

Claire: I ate all these things.
Mommy: You did! Good job, Claire.
Alex: I did too.
Mommy: You guys had a good dinner.
Claire: I ate all these things. In my mouth.

What time are we gonna go to the beach house next year?

(Alex wakes up at 6 am.)
Alex: I'm poopy. My poop’s hurting me.


(Mommy, Daddy, Claire, and Alex are driving home from the beach.)

(Alex sees a lifeguard’s chair.)
Alex: That's a big chair. Did you see that big chair, Daddy?

(Claire sees her reflection in the window.)
Claire: I see me in my window. I see me.

Alex: We didn't go to school yesterday. We didn't go to school yesterday when we were at the beach house.
Mommy and Daddy: That’s right.
Alex: We’re in the forest!
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: But not really because it’s sunny.

Alex: What do monster trucks do?
Daddy: What do monster trucks do?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: I don’t know.
Daddy (to Mommy): What do monster trucks do?
Mommy: I don’t know, they drive in the dirt.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: They jump over cars.
Mommy: Oh yeah, they jump over cars.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: I don’t know. Do you know?
Alex: No.

Alex: What do seagulls eat?
Daddy: Um… they eat fish.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: Anything people feed them on the beach.
Alex: Sand?
Mommy: No, remember that boy feeding them pretzels?
Alex: Oh.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: Maybe they eat jellyfish. I don’t know if they eat jellyfish.
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: Are those the swipers on that car?
Mommy: Yeah.

Alex: Do racing cars get gas too?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: When racing cars are in the gas station, they stop racing?
Daddy: That’s right.

(Mommy drives under a bridge.)
Alex: If Cat in the Hat would walk under that bridge, he’d bump his head, because he's really tall.

(Mommy drives through the tunnel.)
Alex: I like this tunnel.
Claire: Go underwater!

Claire: Truck, Mommy!
Mommy: Yeah, look at that truck!
Alex: Wow.
Claire: Truck, Ah-yah!

Claire: ‘Nother truck! Yay! ‘Nother truck.


(back at home)

Alex: Claire, we’re gonna play a game, okay?

Alex: Claire, you’re gonna stand over there, and I'm gonna bounce this bouncy ball. And when I say “hiiiii”, I'm gonna run away, and you’re gonna stay here.


Daddy: Claire, what did you do at the beach?
Claire: Um eat lunch.
Daddy: Eat lunch?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: What else?
Claire: Nuffing.


Claire (out of the blue): Uh go beach house.


(Daddy and Claire are playing while Mommy and Alex are going to pick up Grommie from the doggie hotel.)

Claire: Bye bye Daddy, I go in my Elmo house!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire bear!
Claire: Okay.
(Claire goes into the closet and closes the door behind her.)
(Silence. Time passes.)
(Claire comes out of the closet.)
Claire: I see Elmo!
Daddy: You saw Elmo?
Claire: Yeah!

Claire: Bye bye Daddy, I go in my Elmo house!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire bear!
Claire: I go see Elmo! Go see Elmo Grover!
Daddy: Okay!
(Claire goes back into the closet and closes the door behind her.)

(The game goes on for a while. A little later, Claire is in the closet again.)
(Claire opens the door and peeks her head out.)
Claire: I be back little while.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire closes the door again.)
(Silence. Time passes.)
(Clare comes out of the closet.)
Claire: Hi, Daddy!
Daddy: Hi, Claire Bear!
Claire: I see Elmo, and Grover!
Daddy: You did?
Claire: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Claire: I go in other door.
(Claire walks over to the pantry.)
Claire: Bye bye, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire Bear.
(Claire goes into the pantry and closes the door behind her.)

(A little later; the game has moved back to the closet.)
Claire: Bye bye, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire Bear!
(Pause.)
Claire: You come with me?
Daddy: You want me to come with you?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.
(Daddy goes into the closet with Claire. Claire closes the door with both of them inside.)
Claire: It dark in here. I turn light on.
(Claire turns on the stick-on light.)
(Pause.)
(Claire opens the door a crack and peeks outside.)
Claire: I see something.
Daddy: What do you see?
Claire: Mommy’s shirt.
Daddy: You see Mommy’s shirt?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire closes the door again.)
(Pause.)
(Claire opens the door.)
Claire: Daddy, be right back. Be right back.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire exits the closet and closes the door, leaving Daddy inside.)
Claire (shouting from outside the door): Be right back, Daddy!
Daddy: Okay!
Claire: Be right back!
(Claire opens the door.)
Claire: Be right back, Daddy!
Daddy: Okay!
(Claire closes the door again, and wanders off.)
(Time passes.)
(Claire comes back and stands outside the closed door.)
Claire: I back, Daddy!


(Alex puts a grocery bag on his head.)
Alex (giggling): I’m a bag.

Alex (chanting, with the bag still on his head): Bag Alex! Bag Alex!

Alex: Daddy, when I'm a bag, can you take a movie of it?


(dinner)

Mommy: Claire, what was your favorite part of the beach?
Claire: Noooo!
Alex: My favorite part of the beach was eating a cookie.
(Mommy laughs.)
Mommy: I thought your favorite part was going in the ocean.
Alex: Oh.
Alex: That was my favorite part too.

Alex (singing): If you’re happy and you know it don't eat people at the table!


(in the bath)
Alex: I wanna go back to the beach house.


(after bath)

Alex (shouting down the stairs to Mommy): Mommy! Claire peed!
(Mommy’s reply is inaudible.)
Alex: Come upstairs and see Claire’s pee!

(Claire shows Mommy her pee.)
Mommy: Good job, Claire Bear!
Claire: Get chocolate at breakfast!


(Alex is getting tucked into bed.)
Alex: What time are we gonna go to the beach house next year?

A big wave!

(Daddy and Alex are out in the ocean getting hit by big waves. Daddy is holding Alex.)

Alex (to Daddy): Look a different way.
(Daddy turns his head to face the beach, pretending to be unaware that a big wave is approaching.)
Alex (shrieking): Look, Daddy! Look!!

Alex: A big wave!

Alex: Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Alex: I’m cold.


(Alex and Claire open their presents – cookies – from Uncle Ed.)

Claire: Present!!
Daddy: Wow, look at that! Who gave that to you?
Alex: Uncle Ed.
Daddy: Did you say thank you?
Alex (quietly): Yeah.
Claire (jumping up and down): I said thank you!!

Daddy: What is it?
Claire: A ball!
Alex: I got a sailboat!

Claire: Uh eating beach balls.

Alex: We got new cookies!

Claire: I eat cookies, Daddy! I eat cookies!
Daddy: Yes you did!


(Claire and Alex are brushing teeth, taking turns using the stool.)
Alex: Can I get on the stool for a moment? I need to spit.


(bed time)
Alex: We’re gonna have a family breakfast.


(Alex and Claire are in bed.)

Alex: Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?
(Mommy goes in the bedroom to see what Alex is yelling about.)
Alex: Claire pooped.

(Claire says something quietly to Alex.)
Alex: Why do you call me Ah-yah?

Claire: You get uh water?
Alex: I don’t want to, I’m not thirsty.
Alex: If people are thirsty, they drink water.
Alex: Well, I don’t want to.
Alex: Sometimes at nap, I stop drinking, I don’t drink water, a lot.
Alex: You smell that smell Claire, that (inaudible)? You smell it?
Claire: No.
Alex: I do.
(Claire says something inaudible.)
Alex: Daddy?
Alex: Daddy?

(Daddy goes into the bedroom.)
Alex: Daddy, I smell something.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: Is it a skunk?
Daddy: No, it’s not a skunk.
Alex: I don’t like it.

Ah-yah don't like the beach.

(Alex and Claire are eating breakfast with Mommy and Daddy. Everyone else is sleeping.)

Claire: I don’t like the beach.
Claire (to Daddy): You don’t like the beach.
Daddy: I don’t like the beach?
Claire: You don’t like the beach. Ah-yah don’t like the beach. Mommy, Daddy, Ah-yah.

Claire (to Alex): You don’t like the beach.
Alex: I like the beach.
Claire: No.
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Mommy: Shhhhhh!! People are sleeping. They don’t want to hear that.
(Pause.)
Claire (to Daddy, grinning): Ah-yah don’t like the beach.

Alex: Mommy, will you tell Claire I like the beach?

Claire: Where is Kirk? Where is Kirk?


(Claire is picking up seashells on the beach.)

Claire: I finding shells!

Claire: Look, Daddy!

Claire: You like this one, Daddy?

Claire: Another one!

Claire: I like shells!

(Daddy picks up a shell.)
Claire (admiringly): Wow!!
Daddy: I find one too!
Claire: Yay!

Claire: Uh show Grandma.

Claire: Lot and lot of shells.

Claire: Put in my bucket.


(Claire talks about going to the pool.)
Claire: Uh get squirted and I be sad.


(A wave messes up something Alex is building in the sand.)
Alex: Oh no! Time out, water!


(Alex is eating dinner after cleaning up from playing in the ocean.)
Alex: I feel really good, Daddy.

Mommy: I wanna know what your favorite thing was, at the beach.
Alex: Um, my favorite thing was when I was, going in the ocean, with Daddy!


(Alex and Claire are in bed.)

Claire: Is there something in your nose?
Alex: What?
Claire: Something in your nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Is there something in your nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Is there something in Daddy nose?
Claire: Is there something in Daddy nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Is there something in my mommy nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Why?
Alex: Because they – we got all the crusties out already.

Alex: Can I tell you something? Can you not talk to me anymore?
Claire: Dadadadadadada. Adadada. Adadada. Adadada.
(Claire continues to babble.)

Alex (to Claire): Can you not talk to me, okay? Can you not talk to me? Claire, can you not talk to me?
Alex: I’m not gonna play with you after nap.
Claire (upset): Uh play with you!
Claire (increasingly upset, and increasingly faster): Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you!
(Pause.)
Claire: Uh play with you.
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: Uh play with you!
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: Uh play with you!
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: Please?
Alex: No.
Claire: Please?
Alex: No.
Claire: Please?
Alex: No.
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
(Extended silence.)
(Claire begins talking to herself.)


Alex (rapid fire): Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Mommy (coming into the bedroom): What?
Alex: Can you get the tissues if I need them?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Okay.
(Mommy gets the tissues for Alex.)
Mommy: Here you go, buddy. Where do you want them. Over here?
Claire (fussing): I don’t want them!
Alex: You don’t need them, Claire, it’s okay, you don’t have to have them.


(Claire says something quietly to Alex.)
Alex: You ate the fan?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: I don’t know what that means.
Claire: I ate the fan.
Claire (singsong): I ate the fan. I ate the fan.
Claire (singsong): I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan.
Claire (loudly): I – ate – the – fan! I put it in the oven!


Alex: Mommy?
Mommy (shouting from the living room): What?
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Claire was not in her bed, but now she is.
Mommy: Okay.

I'm still sad 'cause Claire hit me with the airport.

(Claire and Alex are in bed, both waking up.)
Claire (to Alex): Uh tell you something.
Alex: What?
Claire: Uh tell you something.
Alex: What?
Claire: Uh tell you something.
Alex (frustrated): Tell me it!


Alex: I’m still sad ‘cause Claire hit me with the airport.


Kirk: Why are you sad?
Alex: Because when I was sleeping, Claire hit me with my little airport toy.


(Alex and Claire are getting ready for bed.)

Alex: The aquarium was pretty cool, wasn’t it?

Alex: My favorite things were the submarine, the mirrors, and the mouth I was in.

(Daddy gives Claire a kiss goodnight.)
Claire: I need hug.
Daddy: Okay, hug.
(Daddy gives Claire a hug.)
Claire: Thank you.

I choose no squirting me. That's my choice.

(Daddy builds an Alex face on the beach. A wave comes and washes it away.)
Alex: Oh! Poor Alex! He died.


(Alex is playing in the pool with Aunt Sheridan and his cousins.)
Alex: I choose no squirting me. That’s my choice.


(Claire and Alex have gone to bed, in the same room. Claire is talking a lot, which bothers Alex.)

Alex (to Claire): All my cousins when they gave me hugs, they told me to sleep well, so, I’m taking’ a rest for Daddy.

Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Alex: What do you need? Oh, Claire.
(Alex lets out an exasperated sigh.)
Alex: I’m tired of this. I’m done.

Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.

(About twenty minutes later: both kids have been quiet for a while.)
Alex: What did you need before, Claire?
Alex: What did you need before, Claire?
Alex: Can you tell me, please? What did you need before?
Alex: What did you need before, Claire?

I love it!

(Daddy is changing Claire’s diaper. Claire hands Daddy the diaper cream.)
Claire: There you go, Daddy.
Daddy: Thank you.
Claire: I a big helper, you.


(Daddy and Claire go into the living room. No one else is awake yet.)
Claire: Where all our cousins?
Daddy: They’re sleeping.
Claire: Sleeping in there?
Daddy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Claire: Where Grandpa?
Daddy: He’s sleeping.

Claire: Not watching TV. Not watching TV, there. Our cousins not – not watching that TV.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Yeah.

Claire: Aunt Sheridan not watching TV too.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Aunt Sheridan – Aunt Sheridan wayyy. Sleeping in that room, Daddy.

(Alex joins Daddy and Claire in the living room.)
Alex: It’s a empty room in here.
Daddy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: The two days, there were people out here. They weren’t sleeping.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I can’t play because I’m sick.

(Alex lies down on the couch.)
Alex: If people wanna sit on this couch, I’ll tell them that I’m sick.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And I can’t get up.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: When my cousins wake up.

(Claire is playing blocks.)

Claire: I found a blue square!

Claire (to Daddy): Uh make a road, with me? Uh make a road? Uh make a road, with me?

Alex: I’ll show you how to make a road, okay Claire?
Alex: For one minute because Claire, I’m sick.
Claire: Okay.

(Claire hands out blocks.)
Claire: This for me.
Claire: This for you.
Claire: This for me.
Claire: This for me.

Claire: I playing blocks, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: With Ah-yah.
Alex: But I can’t play, because I’m sick, Claire. My nose is stopped up. And I’m coughing a lot.
Alex: One more.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: That’s how you make a road!
Alex (returning to the couch): I’m gonna lie back, okay Claire?

Daddy: I’m sorry you’re sick, Alex.
Alex: I’m sorry I can’t play, Claire.

Claire: Look my road! Daddy. Look – it’s really big! Really big!
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: It’s really long, Claire. It looks like a train track!
Claire: It’s a train track. Train track.

Claire: Yellow road. Look, Daddy, yellow road. Yellow road, and green road, and – look! Look, my road!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: It’s really strong.. it’s really strong, Daddy, it’s really strong… it’s really strong.
Claire (jumping up and down): I love my – I love my track! I love my track!

Claire: I love juice! I love it! I love juice!

(Daddy is putting on his shirt.)
Claire: I like that shirt!
Daddy: Thank you!
Claire: I love it!

Alex: Did the temperature say I’m sick?

(Claire is playing cupcakes.)
Claire: Foo on it, Daddy. Foo on it.
Claire (blowing out the candle): Foooo!


Mommy: We’re not gonna take those to the beach, Claire. We’re gonna take beach toys.
Claire: Beach toys! I love beach toys!


(on the beach)
Claire (repeatedly): Uh go inside!


(Claire notices a broken deck chair under the deck.)
Claire: Dat chair under there?
Daddy: Oh, that chair’s broken, isn’t it?
Claire: Get some – tape.


Claire: Uh play cupcakes, Daddy.


Alex: When the wave got me, it made the sand gooey. I made footprints in the gooey sand.

(Alex takes a warm shower outside the beach house.)
Alex: This is the best shower ever.


Alex: I like to sleep with Elly on the bottom and Bobo on the top.

Wwwow!! We at – at the beach!

Alex: We’re gonna have a busy day. We’re gonna have a lot of fun.


(Alex and Daddy are playing in the pool.)
Alex (to Daddy): When I squirt you, you make funny faces and fall in the water, that makes me laugh.


(After getting out of the pool, Alex is cold.)
Claire (to Daddy): I – I – I not cold. I – I – I got dress.


Alex: I really like that bed. I really like my bed.


Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Alex: Why can we stay at the beach house every day?


Alex: I like to sleep at the beach house with my cozy blanket.


Alex: Does the music truck have ice cream in it?


Claire: You sit beside me? Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, I’m gonna sit beside you.
Claire: You have food?
Daddy: Yeah, I have food.


(Claire walks on the sand.)
Claire: I walk on sand!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: I like uh like a walk on sand!


(back in the beach house)

Daddy (to Claire): Daddy went swimming.
Claire: Yeah. Swim and swim and swim and swim and swim!

(Claire looks out the window, at the beach.)
Claire: That the beach?
Daddy: Yeah, that’s the beach!
Claire: Wwwow! We at – at the beach!

(Claire sees Alex and Grandpa walking back to the house.)
Claire (excited): Dat Ah-yah! Ah-yah coming in!

Claire: Ah-yah coming in! Ay-yah!

Daddy: Claire, what did you do on the beach?
Claire: Um… I swim. I swim, Daddy.
Daddy: You swam? What else did you do? On the beach, Claire bear?
Claire: Um… just nuffing. Just nuffing.

Daddy: Claire, if a tree falls in the forest, and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Claire: Yeah. Fall down. Tree fall down, storm coming.

Claire (watching the ceiling fan): Fan going now! Fan going.
Daddy: Yeah. Which way’s it going?
Claire: Fan going!


(getting in bed)
Alex: I like the beach house.
Daddy: Yeah. Why is that?
Alex: Because it’s fun.
Daddy: Good!
Mommy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: Because there’s a TV in this room.

Saturday, and we go to the beach!

(Daddy wakes up Alex.)
Daddy: Do you know what today is?
(Pause.)
Alex: Saturday, and we go to the beach!

Alex: Will Uncle Ed and Uncle Kirk be there?
Daddy: Yeah, they'll be there.
Daddy: Do you want them to be there?
Alex: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: Will Uncle… Gring be there?
Daddy: Uncle who?
Alex: Uncle Gring.
Daddy: Who's Uncle Gring?
Alex: Um… who's the cousin who was at Grandma's house last time?
Daddy: Oh, Uncle Ray. No, Uncle Ray won't be there.
Alex: Because I don't want him to be a monster.
Daddy: Okay, well he won't be there.


Alex (to Daddy): Is there a special -- I wanna play a special thing with you. And you can not work on your computer.


(Daddy and Claire are driving Grommie to the doggie hotel.)

Claire: Dere another bridge!

Claire: Bumpy road.
Daddy: Yeah, it is a bumpy road, isn’t it?
Claire: (mumble) road. Fix it. Go really fast.
(Claire says something inaudible.)
Claire: Man fix uh road.

Claire (pointing excitedly): Bus! On Ah-yah side!


(Daddy and Claire are driving back home, after leaving Grommie at the doggie hotel.)

Claire: Why we leave Grommie?

Claire: I like Grommie.

Claire (pointing): That gas store, gas!


(lunch)

Alex: I wanna go on the beach at the beach house.

Alex: I really like -- I really like playing in the sand.

Mommy: You know it's a long drive to the beach, okay?
Alex: 'Kay. I got some TV shows.

Claire: Uh play in sand.

Alex: We'll tell Grampa if -- that we wanna go on the beach. He might say no.
Mommy: I don't think he will.

(Claire notices a picture of Alex at the beach, on the calendar.)
Claire: Ah-yah picture! Ah-yah in the sand! Look -- Ah-yah in the sand at you house, there. That you.


(Daddy, Mommy, Alex, and Claire are in the car on the way to the beach.)

Alex: Why do trees need to be in forestes?

Alex: Is the beach house in the forest?
Mommy: No, but we go through the forest on the way to the beach house.
Alex: I would like it if we were at the beach house.
Mommy: I would too.

Claire: Beach, really far away.
Daddy: Yeah, it is far away.
Claire: I talking to Mommy.
Daddy: Oh, sorry.

Claire: My car black. My car black. My car black.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: I talking to Daddy.
Mommy: Well maybe you should address the person you’re talking to.

Alex: Tell me when we’re there.

Claire: Where Grommie? Where Grommie go?
Alex: Grommie’s at the doggie hotel.
Claire: I talking to Daddy.

But you can't grow up like a sheep. How can you grow up like a sheep?

(Claire is talking in her sleep, during a bad dream.)
Claire (upset): I want my waffle back! I want my waffle back!

(Daddy wakes up Claire.)
Claire (upset): I want my waffle back.
Daddy: You want your waffle back?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Who took your waffle?
Claire: Ah-yah.


(Claire says her usual as she walks down the stairs.)
Claire: Part of the railing.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: More part of the railing down there.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I don’t wanna go to school. I don’t wanna go to school.
Daddy: But you like school. If you don’t go today you won’t get to go for a long time.
Alex: I don’t wanna go there because I love you.
Daddy: Because you love me?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: That’s why I don’t wanna go to school.


Alex: I ate cheese pizza.
Daddy: Yummy!
Claire: I ate pizza at ‘chool.
Daddy: You ate pizza too?
Claire (very enthusiastically): I like pizza! I like applesauce! And geen beans!


Claire (handing Daddy his Blackberry): Here you go, Daddy. Here go. Here your – Blackberry.

Claire: I waiting! I waiting! I waiting!


(Claire notices Daddy’s yard shoes, which he wears to mow the lawn.)
Claire: That’s your – mawmower – mawmower shoes.
Daddy: That’s right! How’d you know that?
Claire: That’s your mawmower shoes.


(Daddy is dialing Mommy on the speakerphone.)
Alex: Who’s that?
Daddy: It’s Mommy if she picks up.
Claire: Uh see – uh hello to Mommy.
(The phone starts ringing on the other end.)
Claire: Hi Mommy!

(Mommy is on the phone.)
Claire : Hi uh go to work, Mommy, uh go to work?
Mommy: Yeah, I’m at work.
Alex: Bye!
Mommy: ‘Kay, but I’m coming home right now.
Alex: ‘Kay.
Mommy: ‘Kay.
Alex: See you later!
Mommy: Okay, bye!
Claire: Bye! Bye Mommy!
Mommy: Bye, Claire. Bye, Alex.
Alex: Bye.

(Daddy’s hair is wet.)
Claire: Your head – your head – your head, is, black!
Daddy: My head’s black?
Claire: Yeah!

(Claire is removing her socks.)
Claire: Look. Uh pull, over heel! Uh pull over heel, Daddy!
(Claire pulls her sock over her heel and off.)
Daddy: Yay Claire, you did it!


Claire: Beach house – beach house – beach house in three minutes.
Daddy: Beach house in three minutes?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: No, we’re not going today.
Claire: Why?

Claire: Uh go beach house – uh go beach house, now. Uh go beach house, now.
Daddy: You wanna go to the beach house now?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: No, we’re not going yet. We have to pack first, and we’re going tomorrow.
Claire: Why?

(Claire brings Daddy a cupcake.)
Claire: That yours. Here go, Daddy, that yours. It yummy, Daddy. It yummy.
Daddy: Thank you, Claire!

(Claire brings Daddy another cupcake.)
Claire: It yummy. It yummy.
Daddy: Mmm, it is yummy!

Alex: I want a cupcake, Claire!
Claire: No, dat all the cupcakes. Dat all.

Alex: Claire. You’re a monster.
Claire (crying): No, I not a monster!
Daddy: You’re not a monster, Claire.

(Alex is using the DVD remote as a magic wand.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Go away, Claire.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Claire come back.
(Claire runs back.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Claire go away.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Claire come back.
(Claire runs back.)

(Alex gives the DVD remote to Claire.)
Alex: Can you use this, Claire, to make me go away?

Claire: Go! Go away!
Alex: No, say Abracadabra.
Claire: Abbadabba!
Alex: And then, when I come back, you need to say Abacadabra too.
(Alex runs off.)
Claire: Come back! Abbadabba come back!
(Alex runs back.)

Alex: Abracadabra! Claire go away.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Claire! Please come back! Abracadabra, Claire come back.
(Claire runs back.)

Claire: Abbadabba! Go away, Daddy.
(Daddy runs into the other room. Claire follows.)
Alex: No Claire! You’re not supposed to go away.
Alex (to Daddy): Claire’s not doing it right.

Alex: Abracadabra! Claire go away.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Daddy go away.
(Daddy runs into the other room. Claire laughs hysterically.)

Alex: Let’s go shopping, Claire.

(Mommy comes home from work.)
Alex: Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here!
Claire (to Mommy): I play shopping!

Claire: Mommy home, Daddy. Mommy home.


Alex (singing): I’m gonna go to the beach...
Alex (singing): On, Saturday, not on Friday…
Alex (singing): But I really wanna go to the beeeach


Alex: I really wanna go to the beach.
Daddy: I know you do.


(dinner)

Alex's English muffin: Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
Alex: Claire, can you -- can your English muffin say "hi"?

Alex: Claire, you're a boy!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: I not a boy. I Claire!
Alex: Claire, do you know what people are?
Alex: Some people are boys, and some people are girls. So you're a girl.
Claire: Yeah!

Claire: Watch, Mommy. Go – beach – af – ter – lunch.
Claire: Watch, Daddy. Go – beach – af – ter – lunch.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I wanna be a sheep when I grow up.
Daddy: A sheep?
Alex: Yeah. And a daddy. A daddy sheep.

Alex: But you can't grow up like a sheep. How can you grow up like a sheep? You can't grow up like different things.
Daddy: That’s right.

Daddy: Claire, did you express yourself at school?
Claire: No. I had (mumble) and green beans and peaches.
Alex: And what else?
(Claire doesn't respond.)
Alex: What else did you have, Claire?
(Claire doesn't respond.)
Daddy: Did you have snack?
Claire: Yeah, snack.
Alex: Do you want to know what I had today? I'm gonna tell you.
Alex: First, I had fresh fruit, and, a graham cracker.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And I had green beans, pizza, and… I don't know what the other one was. Probably something. But I don't know what it was.

Abba Jabba.

Claire: You take a shower?
Mommy: Yeah, I took a shower.
(Claire touches Mommy's wet hair.)
Claire: It's cold!

Alex: Daddy, I want to cut at school.
Daddy: You want to cut at school?
Alex: Yeah. So can you tell Miss Spivey I want to cut at school?

(Alex is watching the PBS Kids ad with the "reading is fun" machine.)
Alex: That's a machine, Daddy. That's the letter machine. And then, it's taking them in the truck for them to go to work.


Alex: Claire, make me 'sappear.

Alex: Daddy, can you make me 'sappear?
(Daddy pretends that Alex has disappeared.)

Claire: Do me, Daddy.
(Daddy pretends that Claire has disappeared.)

Alex: Can you make me go somewhere else, Daddy?
Daddy: I don't know how to do that.
Alex: Can you say… 'cadabra?
Daddy: Abracadabra!
(Alex runs off.)

Alex: Make me 'sappear, Claire. Say "abracadabra."
Claire: Abba Jabba.


(Daddy comes home from work. Alex and Claire are eating dinner.)
Alex: The pizza man brought us pizza and peaches!

Alex (to Mommy): I like – I like shopping with you.
Mommy: Aw, I like shopping with you too.
Claire (to Mommy): I like shopping with you, too.

Claire: Take Grommie to the doggie store.
Mommy: Yeah, we took Grommie to the doggie store.
Claire: Cut his nails.
Mommy: That’s right, to get his nails cut!
Claire: Went home.
Mommy: And we went home.
Claire: Then go to the grocery store.
Mommy: Good job, Claire!
Claire: Then went Callum house. Then went Callum house!
Mommy: Okay, now you’re makin’ stuff up.

Alex: Mommy gave me some medicine.
Daddy: Oh, good.
Alex: And it made my leg feel better. And I ate some cheese, and it made my leg feel better too.

Claire: And go to Callum house.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Yeah. And… play toys.
Daddy: Toys.
Alex: We didn’t go to Callum’s house, we didn’t go to Callum’s house, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.


Mommy: Hey Claire? Do you wanna go upstairs now –
Claire: In two minutes!
Mommy: – or in two minutes?
Mommy: Okay, two minutes.


(Alex is brushing his teeth. Daddy’s making a funny face in the mirror.)
Alex: Stop makin’ a funny face.
(Daddy makes a different funny face.)
Alex (upset): Make your regular face!
(Daddy makes yet another funny face.)
Alex (upset): Make the face you had before!

A popsicle course, yeah. That's what Mommy calls it.

Alex: Daddy, can you help us make a apple course?

(A little later.)
Alex: Daddy, come make our obstacle course.
Daddy: I thought we were gonna make a apple course.
Alex: A apple-stacle course, I can say that.
Daddy: Or we could make a popsicle course.
Alex: A popsicle course, yeah. That's what Mommy calls it.

(Jumping around in the playroom, Alex bangs his elbow on the bookshelf, hard.)
Alex (screaming): It’s really bad! It’s really bad!

(Claire takes off her sticker.)
Claire: I don't like this sticker. I don’t like this sticker.
Daddy: You don’t like that sticker?
Claire: Yeah.

How do you make a tree?

Daddy: Alex, if you had three hundred dollars, and you gave me two hundred dollars, how many dollars would you have?
Alex: Um, three.
Daddy: And what would you buy with it?
Alex: A computer and a violin.

Alex: I was smelling the tomatoes that we got from Mommy’s garden.
Daddy: Oh, what do they smell like?
Alex: They smell like -- they smell like my suit. My swimming suit.


(dinner)

Claire: I like Elmo fork. I like Elmo fork.
Claire (singing): I, like, Elmo fork!
Claire: I like Elmo fork, Daddy.
Daddy: I know you do.

Claire: I want more, Daddy. I want more, Daddy.
Claire (smiling): May I, please.

Claire (holding a forkful of spaghetti): Uh big one. Big one. Big ‘ghetti.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Big ‘ghetti, Daddy!
Claire: Yeah.

Alex: When you build things, why do you need dirt?
(Daddy explains why, when you build things, you need dirt.)
Alex: How do you make a tree?
(Daddy explains how you make a tree, mostly by paraphrasing The Carrot Seed.)
Daddy: And then one day…
Mommy: A carrot came up!
(Alex and Claire laugh.)
Claire (pretending to turn a page): Uh – other page – (mumble) – the end!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: End of story. End of story.

Claire (her hand circling her plate): Read this. Round the circle. Round the bend.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: Drive on my plate.
Daddy: Who drives on your plate?
Claire: Uh, my hand.

Claire: Uh more spaghetti! Pleeeease. May uh – may I, please, Mommy.
Mommy: Good job, Claire!


Alex: Well, you’re Charlie Brown!
Daddy: Am I?
Alex: I’m Linus.
Alex: And Claire’s Lucy.
Claire (laughing): I’m not Lucy. I’m Claire.
Alex: You’re Lucy. And Mommy’s Pepper Patty.

Claire: No I not Lucy -- Lucy.
Alex: I’m Linus, Lucy. Lucy.
Claire (laughing): No!

(Alex is playing “running”. Daddy tells Alex that he doesn’t want to run.)
Alex: Can Grommie run, ‘cause Grommie can be the daddy, and I can be the Alex, and Claire can be the Claire, and Mommy can be the mommy?

Claire (talking to herself): I fall, on floor, and get kiss, and then, have band-aid on? Daddy?


Alex: Let’s be a baby, Claire. Can we pretend we’re a baby?

Bye, everybody, I'm going to the pretend beach!

(breakfast)

Claire: Daddy, I ate all my waffles, and my 'nanas, and my sausage.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Look, Daddy!


(Alex and Mommy are discussing what to take to the beach.)
Alex: Maybe we could take some chocolate, if we poop on the potty.


Alex (riding on his toy car): Bye, everybody, I'm going to the pretend beach!

Alex: Can you go to the beach with me Daddy, and then we can wait for Mommy?
Daddy: Okay, where's the beach?
Alex: The beach is somewhere else, a long way, so we have to bring a TV show.


(dinner time)

Claire: Elmo fork! I like Elmo fork, I like it. I like Elmo fork.

Alex: Daddy, today, when Claire didn't know how to get the yogrit out, I gave it to her, and I rolled it up. I feed her.

I ate your head. It all gone.

(Claire puts on her pants all by herself.)
Claire: I a big girl.


Claire (to Alex): I ate your head. It all gone.

Claire (to Daddy): Uh eat your head. Uh eat your eye.
(Claire eats Daddy’s eye.)


Alex (to Claire): I’m gonna throw the TV at you and bonk you in the head.
Alex (pretending to throw something): Bonk!


Claire: You play with me, Daddy? Play with me?
Daddy: Yeah, we’re all gonna play together.
Claire: Yayyy! Play together!


Alex (to Daddy): When I’m a daddy, I can sleep in your bed!


Claire: Uh other cars and trains and Doc and Stickers and ‘Igi.


(Daddy takes Alex and Claire for a ride in the car to “look at things”.)

(Daddy approaches a red light.)
Claire: Wait, turn green. Wait, turn green.
(The light turns green.)
Claire: Green now!

Claire: Look! Dere it is!
Daddy: Did you see a green building, Claire?
Claire: Dat green! I see it!

Claire: Dig dig dig dig dig dig dig! Daddy.

(Daddy pulls the car up to a construction site, in front of a sign that says “Road Closed”.)
Alex: Does that say: “Just. Men. Have. To build. In there. No. Cars. Driving. In there.” Does that sign say that?

Claire: ‘Nuh train. Choo, choo! Say – ride on train – “choo choo!”

Alex: You can tiptoe in the forest. Can’t you.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I drive this way when I go to my Target.


(Alex and Claire are coloring.)

Claire: Look Mommy Daddy! Look Mommy Daddy! Look! I made bath.

Alex: I made another picture of a pig, and there is a lizard, and you see that, and, uh, there’s the bathtub, and there’s the toy that I was putting on it, and you see that, the ship, the big ship that Daddy wants, going on, it’s, it’s – the pool, here’s the pool right over here, and I was swimming that inside the pool and then, Daddy was running over toward the moon, I saw it.


(lunch time)

(Claire finishes her lunch.)
Claire: I ate pasta, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: I ate carrots and orange and pasta, Daddy.
Daddy: Good job.

Daddy (to Alex): Go ahead and eat your pasta, Bud.
Alex: Go a—go ahead and eat your computer, Bud.


(Alex twists his arm.)
Alex: When your arm does that -- and it hurts... does -- does your bone break?


(dinner)

(Claire hears a noise.)
Claire: Dat Mommy?
Daddy: Mommy’s upstairs.
Claire (sadly): Oh. Uh Mommy. Uh Mommy eat my head.

Truck Mommy.

(Claire and Alex are doing a jigsaw puzzle together.)
Claire: Uh working together, Daddy! Uh working together!


Claire: I ate, some cheese. I ate too much yogurt, Daddy, too much yogurt. Too much yogurt.
Daddy: You ate too much yogurt?
Claire: Yeah, too much yogurt.


(Alex comes downstairs; Claire is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.)
Claire: Ah-yah come down! Ah-yah get Elly!
Alex: I got Elly and I went potty up there.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: It was just a minute.


(riding in the car)

Claire: Car coming. Be careful.

Claire: Big tree.
Daddy: Yeah, a big tree.
Claire: Uh talking to Mommy.
Mommy: Yeah, big tree, Claire.
Claire: Uh talk Truck Mommy.
Mommy: A truck? I didn't see it.
Claire: Truck Mommy.
Daddy: I think she's talking to Truck Mommy.
Mommy: Oh. Are you talking to your truck, Claire?
Claire (who is holding a toy truck): Yeah.

Claire: My thumb reading book.
Daddy: You're reading a book?
Claire: My thumb.
Daddy: Your thumb’s reading a book?
Claire: Yeah.


(dinner)

Claire: You eat your sandwich?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Is it yummy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: When I’m a mo – when I’m a daddy, I can eat a sandwich.
Mommy: Mm-hm.
Alex: A big sandwich.

Alex (playing with his french fry): Does it look like a pig? Does it look like a fox? It’s a bunny, hop hop hop hop hop.

Uh reading books with my baby.

(Claire is playing with her baby doll. Daddy and Alex are getting ready to watch Endless Ocean: Blue World.)
Alex: Do you want to watch the lady with us, Claire?
Claire: No. Uh reading books with my baby.

(Claire was in the train room by herself for a long time, and now rejoins everyone else in the family room.)
Claire: Uh home!
Mommy: You’re home, Claire?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Were you at work?
Claire: Yeah. Uh party.
Mommy: You went potty? Great!
Claire: Uh party.
Mommy: Oh, a party?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Tell me about it.
Claire: Eat cupcakes.

(Claire is serving cupcakes.)
Claire: Mommy. Be careful. Be careful. Be careful cupcakes. Be careful. Hot.


(Claire burps.)
Alex: Say “excuse me,” Claire.

Claire: You eat lunch, Daddy?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Did you eat lunch at work, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, I ate lunch at work.
Claire: Mommy eat lunch at work?
Daddy: Yeah, Mommy ate lunch at work.
Claire: Grommie eat lunch at work?
Daddy: No, Grommie doesn’t go to work.

Uh go Pablo house, Montana.

(dinner)

Alex: I’m tired of chicken nuggets.

Claire: Uh more nuggets. May I – may I, please? Uh said “may I!”


Alex: Look at these balls, Mommy, we’re gonna do a game.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: Hide them, and then I’ll eat them.


(Alex uses the potty.)
Alex: Don’t flush it until I’m outta here.


Alex: Let’s make a big mess, Claire.


Mommy: Hey, do you guys wanna go upstairs now, or in two minutes?
Alex and Claire (in unison): In two minutes!

Claire (to Alex): Uh go Pablo house. Uh go Pablo house, ‘tana. Uh go Pablo house, Montana.

A daddy!

Dora: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Alex: A daddy!

Dora: Can you say “arriba”?
Claire: Arriba!
Dora: Say “arriba”!
Claire: Arriba!
Dora: Again!
Claire and Alex (in unison): Arriba!
Dora: One more time!
Claire and Alex (in unison): Arriba!

Dora: To get the letter down, we say “abajo”!
Claire: Abajo!
Alex: Abajo!
Dora: Can you say “abajo”?
Claire: Abajo!
Alex: Abajo!
Dora: Again!
Claire and Alex (in unison): Abajo!


(Daddy comes home from work. Claire and Alex are eating brownies.)
Claire: Daddy!! Eat – brownies!!

Claire (to Mommy): Uh have brownie?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Oh.
Claire: Yummy?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Oh.


Alex: Look! We’re building a house, Daddy! A soft house.

I need a baseball bat, so I can throw the ball, and a baseball glove, so I can do baseball. But I have nothing.

(breakfast)

Claire (to Daddy): Uh piggytails.
Daddy: Okay.

Claire: Uh Mommy take shower?
Mommy: Yeah, I took a shower!
Claire: Now you go to work?
Mommy: Yeah, in a minute.

Dora: To count the stars, say “estrellas!”
Claire: Stars!

(Mommy leaves for work.)
Claire (to Daddy): Mommy give Ay-yah a kiss?
Daddy: Yeah, she did.
Claire: Oh.
Claire: Ah-yah -- Mommy gave Ah-yah a hug?
Daddy: Yes, she did.
Claire: Oh.

Alicia: To call Click, say “click”!
Alex and Claire (in unison): Click!
Click (singing): Say click!
Claire: Click.
Click (singing): Take a pic!
Claire: Pic.
Click (singing): Say click!
Claire: Pic.
Click (singing): Take a pic!

(Daddy puts on Claire’s socks.)
Claire: Gray? Gray, Daddy?
Daddy: That’s right, it’s gray.
Claire: Like Ah-yah’s!
Daddy: Yeah!

Alicia: Say “zigzag!”
Alex: Zigzag!
Claire: Sog-sog!
Alicia: Can you say “zigzag”?
Alex: Zigzag!
Claire: Zah-zah!
Alicia: Louder!
Alex: ZIGZAG!
Claire: Zah-zah!!
Alicia: Again!
Alex: ZIGZAG!!
Claire: Zah-zah!!
Alicia: Once more!
Alex: ZIG-ZAAAAG!!!
Claire: ZAH-ZAH!

Alex: Can I tell you something, Claire? I had a dream about a dragonfly, and you were there. And Alex was there, but Mommy and Daddy were inside.


Alex: I need a baseball bat, so I can throw the ball, and a baseball glove, so I can do baseball. But I have nothing.


(Daddy gets Claire up from nap.)
Claire: Uh go get clothes.
Daddy: You go get your clothes.
Claire (singsong): Uh big big helper!


(snack time)

Claire: Dat.
Daddy: What, this?
Claire: Nectarine. Uh, peaches.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Uh, from, Grandpa house, and, Grandma house.
Daddy: That’s right!

Claire: Where Ah-yah, Elly?
Claire: Where Ah-yah, Elly?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Where Bobo and Elly?
Daddy: Maybe they’re in Alex’s bed.
Claire: Where your Bobo Elly, Daddy?
Daddy: I don’t have a Bobo and Elly.
Claire: I have Juju Mallory.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Uh Mommy, Juju Mallory?
Daddy: Does Mommy have Juju Mallory?
Claire: No…. Mommy at grocery store. With Ah-yah.

Claire: Uh more blueberries, please. Uh say “May I!" May I, please.
(Claire grins.)

(Claire squishes a blueberry.)
Claire: Squishy, Daddy. Squishy, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah.
(Claire eats the blueberry.)
Claire: All gone.
(Claire squishes a blueberry.)
Claire: Squishy, Daddy. Squishy, Daddy.
(Claire eats the blueberry.)
Claire: Uh ate it all.

Claire (waving): Bye-bye, Daddy! Bye-bye, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye-bye, Claire.
Claire: Bye-bye, Daddy. Say bye-bye your hand.
Daddy (waving this time): Bye-bye, Claire!

Claire: Uh say bye-bye Ah-yah.
Daddy: Bye-bye, Ah-yah!
Claire: No say bye-bye Ah-yah. Ah-yah at grocery store.
Daddy: Ah-yah’s at the grocery store, yeah.
Claire (smiling): Uh say bye-bye at home.
Daddy: Bye-bye at home!
Claire (in a “that’s silly” voice): No… No bye-bye at home. Don’t… don’t, have hands… talk.


(Claire is preparing to read books on the couch.)
Claire: Uh, Daddy, sit ‘side me.


Alex (to Mommy): Can I wipe my finger on your shirt?

I didn’t like the part where the dog ate me, but I liked it when he was bouncing all the balls.

(Claire comes home from school.)
Claire: I ate peaches!!


(Alex and Claire wake up from nap.)

Alex: I had a little dream.
Daddy: Yeah? Was it a good dream?
Alex: I liked part of it.
(Pause.)
Alex: I didn’t like the dog eating me. I liked chasing the dog and the dog followed me.
Daddy: Oh.

Alex: The other part was the sidewalk was squishy.
Daddy: Oh. That’s weird.
Alex: Sidewalks aren’t squishy.
Daddy: No, they’re not squishy.
(Pause.)
Alex: And it was a little big.
Daddy: The sidewalk was big?
Alex: Yeah.

(Alex points to the word “Clorox” on the Clorox wipes container.)
Alex: This says: “Just for people, for wiping the floor.” Does it say that?
Daddy: It says “Clorox”, which means that.

(A little later, Alex tells Mommy about his dream.)
Alex: I didn’t like the part where the dog ate me, but I liked it when he was bouncing all the balls.

Claire: Mommy have little toes. Uh have some.
Mommy: Where are they?
Claire: Under your legs.

Mommy: Red toes.
Claire: Red toes. Uh have red toes?
Mommy: You don’t have red toes. I painted them.

Alex: I looove getting water! I like getting water.
Mommy: I like you.
Alex: I like Daddy. I like when he wakes me up.

(Mommy changes Claire’s diaper.)
Claire: I got cream, Daddy.

Daddy: You know what we’re gonna do, Alex?
Alex: What?
Daddy: We’re gonna draw the letter D!
Alex: That’s right. I remember.
Claire: I draw too!
Mommy: You like to draw, Claire?
Alex: I like to draw.
Claire: I draw, one, two, three!
Mommy: Oh yeah?
Claire (shaking her fingers): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!!
Mommy: Oh!

Mommy: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…
Claire: Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, f—fourteen!

Alex: Neer wasn’t at school today.
Daddy: Oh. Where was he?
Alex: He was at home, I think.
Mommy: Is he sick?
Alex: I don’t think so. He had a green snot at school every day.
(Mommy laughs.)

Alex: Grommie, don’t lick my hand! I have pee on my hand.

(Alex is washing his hands.)
Alex: Daddy, could you do me a favor? Could you put Elly and Bobo on the sofa for me?


(dinner time)

Alex’s fork: Please, can Alex have some more peach please?
Daddy: Yes you may.
(Daddy gives Alex some more peaches.)
Alex: Thank you, fork!
Alex’s fork: You’re welcome, Alex.


(Mommy takes Claire into her room for bedtime.)
Claire: Grommie! Come into my room, Grommie!


Alex: Yesterday, I wanted to tell Mommy my words, and I wanted to tell Daddy my words… and I had something sticking out of my nose, and I heard the trash truck. That’s why I was sad.


(Alex is already in bed, but shouts down the stairs to Daddy.)
Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Alex: What if I dream about Dora?
Daddy: Oh that’s a good idea.
Alex: And Diego?
Daddy: Okay, do that.
Alex: Yeah.

Ah-yah’s shoes drink coffee, Daddy?

(Claire is unzipping her sleep sack.)
Alex: It’s hard to open a sleep sack, Claire. You’ll be stuck in there forever!


Claire: Uh piggytails. My hair bah me.


(Gromit sneezes.)
Alex: Bless you, Gromit.


Claire: Drink coffee?
Daddy: Okay.
(Daddy drinks some coffee.)
Daddy: Yummy!
Claire: (Mumble) drink coffee?
Daddy: You want me to drink some more coffee?
Claire: Me.
Daddy: No, Claire doesn’t drink coffee! Silly!
Claire: Mommy drink coffee?
Daddy: Yeah, Mommy drinks coffee.
Claire: Ah-yah drink coffee?
Daddy: No, Ah-yah doesn’t drink coffee.
Claire: Grommie drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Grommie’s a dog!
Claire: Elmo drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Elmo doesn’t drink coffee.
Claire: Ah-yah’s shoes drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Ah-yah’s shoes?
Daddy: No, silly!
Claire: Does Grover drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Grover doesn’t drink coffee.


Claire: My knee better.


(Claire plays with Daddy’s hair.)
Claire: Uh have black hair, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
(Claire touches her own hair.)
Claire: Uh have black hair too.


Claire: Uh my trains down, and my Doc, and my Stickers, and my trains!


Alex (speaking in the style of Dora and Map): Play... lunch... Grandma’s house! Play... lunch... Grandma’s house!


Alex: The animal store is the biggest building in the whole world!


(The family is visiting Carter’s Mountain with Grandma and Grandpa, to pick peaches.)

(Claire picks a peach.)
Claire (excited): Uh show my peach uh Mommy!

Alex: Whoa, I'm falling down the steep hill!

Alex (to Grandma) I wish I could watch a storm at your house.




















(in the car)
Alex: I saw train tracks!!!


(at Grandma’s house)
Claire: New soap! There new soap, at Gamma house!


(dinner, at Grandma’s house)

(Alex watches while people get up from the table to serve themselves seconds.)
Alex: Why can’t I have more things, like the grown-ups?

(Alex and Daddy talk about the book “Bigmama’s House.”)
Daddy: Bigmama means “Grandma”. You can call Grandma “Bigmama” if you want.
(Pause.)
Alex: What’s Bigmama drinking?


(driving home from Grandma’s)

Claire: I see dark clouds. Thunder coming.

Alex: That’s the digger we saw on the way to Carter’s Mountain.

Alex: Why did you say “PJs” at Grandma’s house?
Mommy: What?
Alex: You said “PJs” at Grandma’s house. Why?

(Apparently Alex and Claire are talking, although Claire’s side of the exchange is inaudible.)
Alex: No!
(Pause.)
(Alex lets out an exasperated sigh.)
(Pause.)
Alex (sternly): Claire. Stop talking to me. I’m very tired.

(Claire cries long and incessantly about something that no one can understand. Mommy is at her wits’ end.)
Mommy (in exasperation): Okay, cry, Claire.
Claire (upset): No cry!
Claire (upset): No cry!
Claire (upset): No cry!
Claire (upset): No cry!
(Claire continues to repeat this mantra for about 15 minutes, during which time everyone else in the car sits quietly.)
(Mommy turns around to face Claire.)
Mommy (calmly): Okay.
(Claire stops crying.)
(Silence.)
Alex: What are you talking about?
Mommy: Oh, we’re just conversing.
(Pause.)
Alex: I don’t know what – what’s Claire – what’s Claire – I don’t know what Claire’s talking about. Claire, what are you talking about?


(at home)

(Claire starts running around the kitchen, and Mommy tells her there’s no time for that, because it’s late and time to go to bed.)
Alex (to Claire): Yeah, I know you really like that game. We’re not gonna do that game today, ‘cause everyone’s tired.