Friday, December 31, 2010

Is somebody gonna take a timeout because they didn’t do the game right, Daddy?

Daddy: Maybe we could drive around and look at things. We haven’t done that in a looong time.
Claire: And see the mans, fixing a building.


Alex: Hey, Daddy. Our whole house is a sea.
Daddy: Our whole house is a sea? Okay.
(Alex and Claire run around screaming.)
Alex: Oh! It’s a jellyfish! It’s gonna sting us!

Claire: It’s gonna sting my baby!

Alex: Swim this way!
Alex: Here he comes!
Claire: Here it comes!

Alex (coming out of the bathroom): There is a bathroom in the sea!

Mommy: Tickle tickle tickle!
Alex: Tickle little fellow?


Alex: Daddy, may I tell you which monster truck I like the best?


Claire: I put my sock on by myself, I’m really big now!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: I can go in Miss Arnold class now!


(Daddy, Alex, and Claire are driving around looking at things, and pause to look at some cows.)
Alex: I think the cows might get scared of Grommie.
Daddy: Oh, I don't think so. Cows like dogs. And horses like dogs.
Alex: Who doesn’t – what animal doesn't like dogs?

(Now they pause to watch a construction site.)
Daddy: He's strong, that's a big heavy ladder.
Claire: And I’m strong, so I can put my shoes on.


(Alex tells Mommy about the cows being scared.)
Alex: Daddy had the biggest moo so I think it was him.


Alex: Hey, Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Alex.
Alex: One day can we go watch a game? A football game, or a (mumble) game, or some game?


Alex: I’m gonna write your name on the rectangle, Mommy, because it’s for you.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: But… isn’t it long, or not?


Claire: I made it at ‘chool! At art, Mommy.


TV Football Announcer: Georgia takes its final timeout.
Alex: Is somebody gonna take a timeout because they didn’t do the game right, Daddy?

Thursday, December 30, 2010

How ‘bout Chucklegirl?

(Daddy puts Alex’s jacket on him.)
Alex: I holded my sleeves!
Daddy: Good. You’re learning how to do so many things.
Alex: Yeah, and then I’ll be a daddy!
(Daddy gives Alex a hug.)
Alex: I’m learning how to be a daddy!

Alex (to Claire): You’re happy now! How did that happen?


(Alex buckles his own seatbelt.)
Alex: I’m learning how to be a daddy!
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex (to Claire): You can try some different things too.


Claire (pushing her Lego train across the kitchen floor): Chugga chugga choo choo! Chugga chugga choo choo! Chugga chugga choo choo! Chugga chugga choo choo!


Daddy: Claire, should I call you Chucklehead?
Claire: No.
Daddy: Who’s Chucklehead?
Claire: Alex!
Daddy: That’s right!
Alex: How ‘bout Chucklegirl?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I say it. I mean it.

(Mommy picks up Claire from her new classroom, Miss Arnold’s class.)
Claire: I like this class.


(Alex is watching a football game with Daddy.)
Alex: I think those, um, football players are gettin’ hungry.


Claire: I smell jelly.


(dinner)

Alex: Mommy, tomorrow’s Bobo’s birthday.
Mommy: Whose birthday?
Mommy: Bobo’s birthday?
Alex: I say it. I mean it.

Claire: ‘Coose me I just had some gas.

Mommy: Did you get a happy stamp at school?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: For what?
Claire: For – Miss Arnold’s class.
Mommy: For going to Miss Arnold’s class?
Claire: And cleaning up.

Alex: Mommy, what were you talking about?
Mommy: Well you heard everything I said.
Alex: Well, can you tell me, all about it?

Alex (in a silly gruff voice): May I have more jelly sandwich please?
Claire (in a silly gruff voice): Jelly sandwich, be!
Claire: Jelly sandwich, bah!
Claire: Jelly sandwich, be!
Alex: Aah!
Claire: Jelly sandwich, be!
Alex: Aah!
Claire: Jelly sandwich, be!
Alex: Aah!
Claire (laughing): Alex!
Mommy: Alex, eat your oranges.
Claire (laughing): Alex, eat your oranges!
Claire (laughing): Alex, eat your oranges!
Claire (laughing): Alex, eat your oranges!

Alex: I get two stories today, right?
Daddy: I think so.
(Daddy puts his finger to his lips.)
Alex: I know. I know not to tell Claire.

Alex: When you were little, your daddy was Pop!
Mommy: My daddy still is Pop. Just because you’re grown up, you still have a daddy.
Alex (pointing at Daddy): But, I call that boy a daddy!

(Claire is wearing the kids’ tool belt.)
Mommy: Who are you? Are you Wendy or are you Bob?
Claire: I’m Bob.
Alex (whining severely): I wanna be Bob! I wanna be Bob! I don’t wanna be Wendy!
Mommy: You don’t have to be Wendy.
Daddy: Hey, Alex? Listen to how you’re talking. Can you hear how you’re talking?
(Alex suddenly smiles and laughs.)
Alex: I’m practicing my – I’m practicing my whining!

Daddy (pointing to himself): Alex, what do you call this boy?
Alex: Daddy.
Alex: And you’re a man.
Daddy: That’s right!
Alex: Mommy’s a girl. She’s a woman.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

But Mommy has the prettiest eyes in the whole world.

Alex: Grass doesn’t melt, Claire.
Claire: It does.
Alex: No it doesn’t.
Claire: It does!
Alex: Grass doesn’t melt! It just stays there.
Claire: No.
Alex: It doesn’t!
Claire: No.
Alex: It doesn’t!
Claire: It does!
Alex: Have you ever seen grass melt, Claire?
Claire: No.


Claire: I don’t like beans at school.
Alex: I don’t like beans at home.

Daddy (to Alex): You don’t like beans at home?
Alex: I don’t like beans at home.
Daddy: Do you like beans at school?
Alex: No.


(Alex’s toy pager beeps.)
Alex: Daddy, it’s Farmer pickles again.
Daddy: It’s Farmer Pickles again?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: What are we gonna do?
Alex (sounding exasperated): We’re not gonna talk to him.
Daddy: Why not?
Alex: Because he always calls, and we’re gonna have to stop talkin’ to him. ‘Kay?
Daddy: Okay.

Claire (pushing her shopping cart): Daddy, come with the shopping store with me.
Daddy: Okay, I’m coming!

Daddy: Okay, what should we buy?
Claire: This isn’t the shopping store.

Alex: Daddy, what does Star Command mean? Buzz said Star Command.


(nap time)

Alex (talking to himself): How do you spell budududududududududududuh.
Alex: B A D A D A D A D A D N D N D N D N D N D N.


Claire (getting the singing reindeer toy out): Daddy – I gonna get this out and then – he say “Jingle Bells, jingle on the way” – and then we can dance.
(Claire puts the reindeer down and turns it on.)
Claire (while jumping up and down): It loud. It’s gonna be done in a minute. It’s gonna be done. It’s done!

Claire (picking up Abby): Abby, you wanna dance? Yeah!
(Claire jumps up and down holding Abby.)
Claire (to Daddy): Abby wants to dance!


(dinner)

(Alex, Daddy, and Claire are talking about eye colors.)
Alex: Only Mommy and Alex have green eyes.
Daddy: And Claire and Daddy’s are brown.
Alex: But Mommy has the prettiest eyes in the whole world.


(Mommy is on the computer.)
Claire: Say roar.
Mommy: Roar.
Claire: No, look at my face and say roar.
Mommy (looking at Claire): Roar!
Claire (shrieking): Aaaaaaaaahhhh!


(Claire pretends the toy wrench is a phone.)
Claire: Hi who’s that? Who’s on the phone?
Claire: Hi Grommie. Why are you eating your ball like that? Why are you on the phone?
Claire: No that’s Daddy. I said, no running and eating your ball like that. No running and eating me.

Monday, December 27, 2010

It’s not really a telephone.

Mommy: Oh!
Alex: It’s okay, Mommy. You didn’t knock anything down.
Alex: It just fell, and you didn’t get hurt anyway.
Mommy: Yeah, you’re right.


Alex (to Claire, after nap): You need to sleep so you’re not grumpy. And sad.

(Daddy passes gas.)
Claire: Say “excuse me”.
Daddy: Excuse me.
Claire: “I had some gas.”
Daddy: Excuse me, I had some gas.
Claire: Good job.


(Claire shows the toy pager to Mommy.)
Alex: You can call people on it.
Mommy: Oh.
Alex: It’s a telephone.
Claire: It’s a telephone.
Alex: It’s like a telephone
Claire: It’s like a telephone
Alex: But it’s not really a telephone.
Claire: It’s not really a telephone.
(Mommy laughs.)
Mommy: You guys are cute.
Alex: She was saying things I said.


(dinner)

Alex: I can’t talk because – because my butter is starting to melt.

Alex: Daddy? One day your head’ll – your headache’ll feel better.
Daddy: Thank you.

Alex: Are you sick?
Daddy: I’m not sick, just my head hurts so bad.
Alex: You have to get a lot of sleep tomorrow, okay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: You can stay up with me.
Daddy: Okay, thank you.
Alex: If you wanna lie on the sofa you can.
Daddy: Thanks, buddy.

Alex: Do dogs give people hugs? Say “I don’t know.”
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: They give kisses! Like people do. They say [kiss sound]. They don’t lick people. Is that’s a silly joke?
Daddy: Yeah, that’s silly.
Alex: Why don’t chickens sit in chairs? Why – why do chickens sit on hay?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Because they don’t sit in chairs.
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: That’s what Gerald said on Science Kid.

(Grommie is licking Alex.)
Alex: Grommie, that’s enough.
Alex: I want him to not lick me. Because that’s enough. Now I can’t itch, because my toes are just licked.

Alex: I want him to stop licking me right now. This minute.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Santa likes me.

Claire: I smell coffee!
Daddy: You smell coffee?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: I do too.
Claire: That’s yucky!

Alex: Can we play soccer outside today?
Daddy: Oh, that would be fun, but we can’t, ‘cause there’s snow.
Alex: How ‘bout do snow things?
Daddy: Yeah, we’ll do snow things.


Claire: No, Grommie! That’s Alex’s.

Alex: I’m fixing Farmer Pickles’s barn.


Claire (sternly): Grommie shouldn’t get snow in the house! Snow have to be outside!

(Grommie is playing with his new Nylabone.)
Claire: Go, go go go! Go, be crazy! Eat it!
Claire: (Mumble) bite it! Bite it! Bite it!


Claire: I really did opened it! I opened it, Daddy!
Daddy: You did?
Claire: Yeah, by myself!
Mommy: Good job.


Molly: I’m pulling some cupcakes, for boys and kids, and, ice cream.


Alex (to Claire): Don’t eat in my face! She’s eating in my face! Don’t eat in people’s faces.
Mommy: I don’t think she’s doing anything.
Alex: She’s chewing in my face.


(Alex is playing with Buzz Lightyear.)
Alex: Watch this, Claire. His helmet closes.
Claire: Can I do that?
Alex: Yeah. I share Buzz Lightyears.
(Pause.)
Alex: Santa likes me.

(Alex measures something with his new measuring tape.)
Alex: That's seven. It’s seven, Daddy!
Claire: So we can wake up from nap!


(From inside, Claire looks and looks for the snowman in the yard that Alex and Daddy just built. Then she sees it, followed by a sharp intake of breath.)
Claire (laughing): That’s a snowman!


Alex (to Claire): How does the floor be?
Daddy: How does the floor be?
Alex (not listening to Daddy, still talking to Claire): How can the floor just be?


Alex: I’m gonna make rules, Claire! You cannot play with me any day! You can play with Mommy, or Daddy! That’s my rule.


(dinner)

Alex: Claire, you’re a tool.
Claire: No, you’re a tool.
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes?
Alex: Why was Daddy a tool?
(Mommy cracks up.)
Alex: Say “I don’t know.”
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: A floppy nucky came by!

(Daddy scratches his ear.)
Claire: Don’t put something in your ear!

Alex: What went in your ear?
Daddy: I scratched my ear with my finger.
Claire: ‘Cause, nobody puts your finger in your ear!

Alex: Mommy, you have eyebrows on your shirt!
Mommy: You have goofiness in your… body.
Alex: What’s goofiness?
Mommy: Silliness.
Daddy: And Claire, you have a wonderful disposition.
Claire: No.
Mommy: That about sums it up.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Daddy, I’m gonna say “ho ho ho” in that shirt.

Alex: Why does everybody try to play with my Buzz Lightyear?

Daddy: Hey guys, thank you for the presents you made for me and Mommy.
Alex: You’re welcome.
(Alex gives Daddy a hug and a kiss.)
Alex: Have another happy holidays.

(Alex is playing trains.)
Alex: Look at his long train!
Mommy: Wow.
Alex: Gordon’s strong, so he can pull any train.

Molly: Look at you!
Gordon: I’m strong.


(Alex tries to stand a Play-Doh flower upright.)
Daddy: That’s not gonna stand up.
Alex: Well how ‘bout this.
(Alex uses one of the Play-Doh toys as a vase, which holds the flower upright.)
Daddy: That’s a good idea.
Alex (smiling): It just needs a little love.
(Daddy laughs.)


Claire: No ‘chool?
Daddy: There’s no school today.
Claire: Oh.
Daddy: ‘Cause it’s Christmas.
Alex: We don’t have school on holidays.
Claire: Christmas Eve.
Daddy: Christmas Day.
Claire: Christmas Eve.
Daddy: Christmas Eve, okay.


(Alex and Claire are watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.)
Alex: But Abominable Snowmans don’t have faces!
Alex: Claire, we can’t go see Abominable Snowmans because it’s pretend. It’s just pretend.
(Claire’s response is inaudible.)
Alex: Well, he can’t get us because, he’s not real.


Daddy: Are you brushing your baby’s hair?
Claire: Yeah. It have tangles in it.


(Daddy grabs Claire’s hands to help her big-jump off her stool, and receives an electric shock.)
Claire: I shocked you!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: Sorry.
Daddy: That’s okay.
Claire: One two three four jump.
(Claire big-jumps.)
Alex: Sorry starts with S!


(Claire is about to put on her new Santa dress.)
Claire: Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. Daddy, I’m gonna say “ho ho ho” in that shirt.

(Claire has her Santa outfit on.)
Claire (in a gruff voice): Ho ho ho to all!


Claire (talking to Boots): I don’t have Dora – I’m Dora, but I don’t have Dora Backpack.
(Claire sees Daddy watching her.)
Claire (smiling at Daddy): I’m talking to Boots!


Claire (to Daddy): My baby is really heavy, can you carry her?


(Claire sneezes.)
Daddy: Bless you.
Claire: Thank you.
Daddy: You’re welcome.
Alex: Bless you rhymes with achoo!

Alex: How do you spell buh-buh, Mommy?
Mommy: Buh-buh?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: I think you spell B H B H B H.
Mommy: That's a good way to spell it.
Alex: Yeah. But – it’s not even a word.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: How do you spell alligator?


(riding in the car)
Alex (out of the blue): I already know how to read words, Daddy.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: I write O sometimes...
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: I write E sometimes...
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: I write A sometimes...
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And... I write I sometimes...
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: D...
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: G...
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: T... Q... and R...
(Pause.)
Alex: Z...
Alex: And...
(Long pause.)
Alex: F... S... W, X, and Y.
Daddy: That's good!
Alex: Those are all the letters I can write.
Alex: Is there more letters?
Daddy: Hmm… what about B?
Alex: Oh. I already said that.
Daddy: Then I guess that's all of them.
(Pause.)
Alex: Oh! And V. There's V in there too.
Daddy: Okay.


Claire: I'm shaking my hands. I'm making a muscle!


Claire (to Daddy): You are not sitting here. This is a bum.
Claire (to Daddy): You are a bum.
Daddy: I'm a bum?
Claire: Yeah.

Claire (to Daddy): You are a bum.


Alex: Hey if you need help opening stuff, I can - I can do my tools and try to open them.

(Alex is wearing his new Bob the Builder hat.)
Claire: I wanna be -- I wanna be Bob the Builder, Daddy.


Claire: It's snowing! It’s getting deeper and deeper.

Alex:When it gets really deep we can make a snowman. But I -- I wanna put two heads on him!


Alex: You know what a baby cow’s called, Claire? It’s a calf.
Claire: Not a calf!
Alex: Well, a baby cow.
Claire: Oh a baby cow. Calf.
Alex: Well a baby cow can be a calf. It’s not a craff. It’s calf.


(Mommy, Daddy, Alex and Claire are getting ready to go to the Taylors’ house.)

Claire: I wanna show Uncle Jimmy my baby.

Claire: I wanna show my – my – my –
Claire (to Daddy): I was talking to Mommy.
Mommy: Were you telling me something?
Claire: I wanna show my baby to Uncle Jimmy.


Alex: I singed niece dah dee dah.
Claire: Niece.
Daddy: What?
Alex: I singed niece dah dee dah, because that was on the CD.
Daddy: Oh!
Claire: Meese dah dee dah.


Alex: If I like the song and I know it, I can sing it.

Claire: Alex. What are you doing?
Alex: Nothing.
Claire: Alex.
(Alex starts snoring.)
Claire: Alex. Alex. Aleeex.
(Alex keeps snoring.)

Friday, December 24, 2010

What will Santa bring me?

Alex: There’s no school today ‘cause it’s a holiday.

Alex: I’m excited about Christmas!

(Claire and Alex are talking about Santa.)
Claire (saying what she hopes Santa will bring her): Baby, with hair.
Daddy: Oh, that would be fun!
Claire: And I could play with it.

Claire (showing Mommy what her half-eaten waffle looks like): Look, I got – I gotted a airplane!


(lunch)

(Alex and Claire just finished watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and now the credits are rolling.)
Claire: Is that the end?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: That’s the picture, and that’s the words.
Claire (as the credits appear and disappear): Picture… words… picture… words… picture…

Alex (to Claire): We got rid of our cat. Because she, died. We had to take her to the hospital.

Alex: Why does the Abominable Snowman move?
Daddy: What?
Alex: Why does the Abominable Snowman move?
Daddy (confused): I guess because he wants to.
Alex: But – but – can you just make one?
Daddy: Oh… The Abominable Snowman’s not a real snowman…
Claire: He just fall.
Daddy: They just call him a snowman, but he’s not really a snowman…
Claire: He just fall over a cliff.
Daddy: That’s right!
Alex: But how did he get back up the cliff?
Daddy: He bounced.
Alex: Oh.
(Pause.)
Alex: Oh.
Alex: But – but – but he can’t bounce! ‘Cause it’s a big cliff.
Daddy: Well, that’s what Yukon Cornelius said happened. And I’m inclined to trust him.

Alex: May I tell you something, Claire? It’s important to –
Claire: No.
Alex: To be nice. It’s important to be nice for Santa to bring you something. It’s important.

Claire (singing, though not to the usual tune): ABCDEFG, HIK, elama P, QRS, TUV, ABCDEFG, HIK, elama P, QRS, TUV…
Alex: Stop this, stop.
Claire: No!
Claire (singing): ABCDEFG, HIK, elma P, QRS, TUV, ABCDEFG, HIK, elma P, QRS, TUV, ABCDEFG, HIK, elma P, QRS, TUV, ABCDEFG, HIK, elma P, QRS, TUV, ABCDEFG.


(The UPS man drops off a package at the front door, and Grommie barks loudly.)
Claire: Who is that? Is that Santa?
Alex: Santa comes down the chimney, silly.


(Mommy has been showing Alex and Claire the NORAD Santa Tracker on the computer.)
Alex: Daddy, next Santa’s com– going on a different planet, but, the planet’s name is…
(Alex sounds the next word out carefully.)
Alex: …Zimbablay.


(Alex and Claire are watching Santa’s message to Alex.)
Santa: …to your home, in Virginia.
Alex: Virginia! Virginia’s our planet.


(Claire is carrying her baby doll on her head.)
Claire (to Daddy): My baby’s on my head, like you!


Daddy: I look like a nice daddy.
Claire (to Daddy): I look like a nice sister.
Claire (to Daddy): I a good sister. I not cry at you.
(Claire goes on to describe Alex’s temper tantrum from earlier in the day.)


Claire: I did bump my teeth yesterday, I was (mumble) Mommy’s jacket, and I fall, and I need to go to a doctor, and I (mumble) my teeth, and I fall down, Daddy. On Mommy’s shoes!


(Mommy is putting on hand cream.)
Claire: What is that?
Mommy: It’s, um, hand cream.
Claire: Oh I don’t like it! I just ate yogurt.


(Alex and Claire are looking at a picture of Mommy, Daddy, and Daddy’s friend Ernie.)
Alex: Ernie’s with Mommy and Daddy. I’ll show you.
Alex (pointing): See that brown thing?


(Mommy, Daddy, Alex, Claire, and Grommie are driving around the neighborhood, looking at everyone’s Christmas lights.)

Alex: Grommie’s tryin’ to wake up me.
Mommy: Are you sleepy?
Alex: Yeah I just don't wanna close my eyes.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: I'm just snuggling under my blanket.
(Pause.)
Claire: Grommie’s tryin’ to wake up me, Daddy.

Alex: Are we lost?
Mommy: We’re not lost, I know exactly where we are.
Daddy: I'm lost.
Alex: You’re not lost Daddy, you’re with us.

Claire: Santa!
Alex: I didn't see it.

Claire: There's Santa! There's Santa, Alex!

Alex: There's a lot of Santas around here.

(“Let It Snow” plays on the radio, but Alex astutely observes that this version omits a few words.)
Alex: But they didn't say "I hate going out in the storm".

Mommy: We have to make cookies for Santa.
Alex: Oh I'm excited!
Alex: I like doing that.
Claire: I like Santa bring me a new baby, Daddy.
Alex: I want him to bring me Buzz Lightyear.

Claire:Put on a plate so he can eat them.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: It’s really crunchy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: It’s really crunchy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire (in a deep voice): Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
(Daddy laughs.)
Claire (in a deep voice): Crunch, crunch.
Claire: Just like that. Just like that. It crunchy.
Alex: Just like chips are crunchy.
Claire: Yeah, chips are crunchy.
Alex: And chocolate.
Claire: No, chocolate is not crunchy.


(Mommy and Daddy are tucking Alex in bed.)

Alex: Is Santa in our neighborhood yet?

Alex: I would like to see Rudolph the reindeer.

Alex: One day, can I see Rudolph the reindeer?

Alex: What will Santa bring me?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

That’s not how it goes. I need to teach her the alphabet.

(Daddy puts Claire down for nap.)
Claire: When I get in bed I wanna say people.


(Nap time. Claire is singing in her bed, and Alex can hear her from his bed.)
Claire (singing): A B C D E F G, next you sing with me!
(Claire repeats this several times.)
Alex (grumbling to himself): That’s not how it goes. I need to teach her the alphabet.


Alex: I like to find things when they’re lost.


Alex: When I’m a daddy, I can -- I can -- I can work on the computer.


(Alex is pretending to be Bob the Builder, and he and Daddy are inside a toy house that Alex built out of furniture and blankets.)
Alex: I’m gonna look out the window.
Daddy: Okay.
(Alex looks out the window silently for a few moments.)
Alex: Get off our house, squirrel! This is – Bob’s house! Bob’s house is – squishy!
Alex (to Daddy): I looked out the window.
Daddy: Did you tell that squirrel to get off our house?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: You’re Wendy.

Daddy: There, I fixed your phone.
Alex: Well, maybe it wasn’t broken.
Daddy: Oh. Well then maybe I broke it.
Alex: Daddy, you’re not being a good Wendy.


(dinner)

Claire (singing): A B C D E F G, next you sing with me
Alex: You forgot the other letters!
Claire (singing): A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X
Claire (singing): A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S
Alex and Claire (singing together): T U V W X Y and Z, now I know my ABCs
Claire: Next you --
Alex: No, next time --
Alex and Claire (singing together): Next time won’t you sing with me


Alex: Is that classical music?
Daddy: What?
Alex: Is that classical music?
Daddy: Yeah, that’s classical music.
Alex: Because it doesn’t have any words in it.
Daddy: That’s right.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I thought you were gonna say five!

(Alex and Claire are watching Blue’s Clues. Alex wants to know why the characters on Blue's Clues always play Blue’s Clues.)
Daddy: I think they always play Blue’s Clues because it’s Blue’s favorite game.
Alex: But they always play, Steve has to go to work!


Alex: At Brady’s party, why did the goat, um, bite me?

Mommy: What made you think of that?
Alex: I remembered it.


Alex: Why did the snayman hit Claire’s head?
Daddy: Why? I don’t know.
Alex: Because –
(Alex knocks on both sides of his head.)
Alex: Knock knock! Somebody was knocking at the door! Hello!


Alex: What do daddies get for Christmas?


Alex: You tell me a joke.
Daddy: Um… how many longshoremen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Alex: I don’t know.
Daddy: Three!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: I thought you were gonna say five!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Well, Claire, you know the alphabet’s kind of different, okay?

(Alex looks at Daddy’s computer keyboard, and is confused by the layout.)
Alex: Daddy, A comes first, why do they put the B beside the A to make… the alphabet?

(Alex tries to explain his concern to Claire.)
Alex: Yeah, because there’s a S beside the A.

Alex: B comes after A, okay?
Claire: No.
Alex: Well, Claire, you know the alphabet’s kind of different, okay?
Claire: No.
Alex: Because the different letters make different sounds, okay.
Claire: No.
Alex: Well Claire, actually different letters come after different letters.
Claire: No.
Alex: So that’s the whole alphabet.
Claire: No.
(Alex sings the entire alphabet song, and Claire shouts “No, Alex!” throughout the whole thing.)
Claire: No Alex!
Alex: But Claire, can you listen to the alphabet?
Claire: No.
Alex: So you know all the letters that come after the letters.
Claire: No.
Alex: You wanna know the letter sounds?
(Claire shakes her head no.)
Alex: What do you wanna do?
(Claire mumbles.)
Alex: Write words?
Claire: No.
Alex: Well, make words?
Claire: I wanna write words.
Alex: I can’t because we’re not go – we’re gonna go to school, but, Claire, would you wanna spell words on the refrigerator?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: ‘Kay, Claire, may I show you letters, that come after lotsa different letters please?
Claire: No.
Alex: But Claire can I show you the sounds?
(Claire shakes her head no.)
Alex: But, it’s fun, and then you can know the sounds.
Alex: Aah is on the A.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Buh is on the B.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Kuh is on the C.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Duh is on the D.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Um… you know what comes next, Daddy?
Daddy: E.
Alex: Eh’s on the E.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: F’s on the fuh.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: G’s on the guh.
Claire: You need to do mmm.
Alex: Yeah, but – after G comes M, right, Daddy?
Daddy: After G comes H.
(They continue this way all the way through to Z, with a few letters skipped.)

Alex: Well, we forgot K.
Daddy: Then do K.
Alex: Well, is there a K in the alphabet or not?

(Daddy tries to hurry Alex and Claire to get in the car for school.)
Alex: But Claire doesn’t know her alphabet!

Alex: K says kuh, for Claire!
Claire: Yeah!
Alex: But C says kuh too, so I don’t know if we can put a K in your name.


(Claire is playing with a little doll.)

Claire: I’m pretending her gymnastics girl.
Daddy: Okay.

Claire: You wanna go to gymnastics shake a parachute?
Daddy: Yeah!


(The following are fragments of Claire’s reading of A Charlie Brown Christmas.)

Claire: “Did you send me a Christmas card?” said Violet.
Claire: “No I didn’t send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown!”

Claire: Nickels nickels nickels, I love those nickels.

Claire: My dog have-a gone, commercial.

Claire: Already doing it right now, baby sister.

Claire: Three minutes doing that play. We’re already doing it.
Claire: Sumpa do that play! And us-a do it, right!
Claire: And Snoopy do all the animals.
Claire: Do that right now. And do it right.
Claire: Wanna do it right now.
Claire: We’re already-a do it right now on this page.
Claire: We’re doing it right now.

Claire: We’re doing it tomorrow so us can.
Claire: We do it out Charlie Brown and (mumble) another Christmas tree.
Claire: Let’s see, uh, see, a Christmas tree.

Claire: I like that Christmas tree.
Claire: Everybody likes that Christmas tree, everybody liked it.

Claire: Everybody went to a museum.
Claire: And it’s – and her was mad!
Claire: Let’s wait and see a Christmas tree. Let’s wait and see it.

Claire: We’ll do it right. Send, us.
Claire: And us do it, and do it that way, we’re do it right.

Claire: Do it right now.
Claire: Already do it.
Claire: Everybody saying it really really love.
Claire: Sing really love.
Claire: Everybody wanted to see another Christmas tree.
Claire: ‘Nother Christmas tree said it.
Claire (singing): Hark the herald angels sing
Claire (singing): Glory to a newborn king.
Claire (singing): God and sinner reconciled
Claire (singing): Oo-ful all ye nations rise
Claire (singing): Join the triumph of the ‘kies
Claire (singing): Hark the herald angels sing
Claire (singing): Glory to the newborn king
Claire (singing): God and sinner reconciled
Claire (singing): Oo-ful all ye nations rise
Claire (singing): Join the triumph of the ‘kies
Claire (singing): Hark the herald angels sing
Claire (singing): Glory to a newborn king
Claire: It the best Christmas ever.
Claire: The end.

Claire: I read [pronounced "reed"] all of the words!
Daddy: Yeah! You did a great job, Claire!
Claire: Yeah. And I just sing.
Daddy: Yeah!


Alex: Can I take a picture of your hair?
Claire: No.
Alex: But it looks so pretty.
Claire: No.

Alex (to Claire): Santa told you to be nice to your brother.


(Alex runs while eating string cheese.)
Alex: When I was running I didn’t choke on it.


(The following remarks occurred during a game of Hide and Seek, played by Mommy, Alex, and Claire.)

Claire: I’m in here!
Claire: I’m under the table!
Claire: I’m under the table!!
Claire: I’m under the table, Mommy!!

Claire: I’m in here, Alex!
Claire: I’m in here!
Claire: I’m in here!
Claire: I’m in here, Alex!

Mommy: One, two, three, four, five! Ready or not, here I come!
Claire: I’m in here!

Claire: One… two… three… four… five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten… eleven… twelve… fourteen… eighteen… eleven… twelve… fourteen!
(Claire runs.)

Claire: Where’s Mommy and Alex?
Claire: Where’s them?
Claire: Where is them?

(Claire finds Mommy and Alex.)
Alex: That’s why you need to be quiet, Mommy.

Alex: Where is she?
Claire: I’m under the table!


Claire: Daddy, I wanna be a snowman! I’m gonna be a snowman!
Daddy: Okay!

(Claire holds a pillow on her head.)
Claire: I have a hat like a snowman does!


Alex: Daddy, can you lie on the couch with me?

(Alex and Daddy are laying on the couch together.)

Alex: It’s fun to lie with Daddy.

Daddy (to Alex): I love you.
Alex: I love you too, Daddy.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Mallory.

Daddy: Who are you reading to, Claire?
Claire: Mallory.


Alex: My pee got dark, Claire. So I get to drink juice and water.


(The kids come home from school.)

Claire: Daddy, I got you a present!

Claire: I’m hot in my sweater.

Alex: At school there was a fire, and the alarm went off, and I went outside and covered my ears, and I couldn’t hear but it was still beeping.

Alex: Claire, take off my shoes! Take off my shoes, Claire!
Claire: ‘Kay.


Claire (to Daddy): You need to close your eyes so I can be Santa!

Claire: You need to close your eyes! You need to close your eyes so I can get you, a toy.


Alex (to Daddy): I’m gonna measure you.
(Alex takes a stuffed toy dolphin and places it on Daddy’s arm.)
Alex: You’re 41.


(dinner)

Alex: Do you want Santa’s message, Claire? Santa’s message, or, the dinner game.
Mommy: Or we could just talk.
Alex: I don’t wanna talk.

(Alex and Claire are watching Santa’s messages to them.)
Alex: Where’s his mouth? I can’t see it.
Daddy: It’s under his beard. He has a big beard.
Claire: And his nose is under his glasses.

(Claire points her finger at Daddy.)
Claire: Krr, krr, krr, krr!
Claire: I’m getting you ‘quirty, Daddy.
Daddy: What are you squirting at me?
Claire: Um, my finger. Water’s coming out.
Daddy: Oh, okay.
Claire: Krr, krr, krr, krr!


Alex: I want Santa to bring me Buzz Lightyear for Christmas, and a new train, like Gordon or Henry, but I want Gordon. I want Buzz Lightyear and Gordon.
Claire: I want a new Rosie.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Daddy? I am reading a book, be quiet.

(Claire and Alex are “having a party” at the coffee table.)

Alex: Where’s the camera that I had at Grandma’s house?
(Mommy helps Alex find the camera.)
Alex: I wanna take a picture of Claire sitting at the table! Because she looks pretty!

Alex: I’m allergic to roast beast.

Alex: Roast beast is not good for me. I can eat different chicken. I can eat ham. Ham’s chicken. I like to eat ham. Ham, not roast beast. Roast beast is not my favorite.

Alex: Hey Claire, I’m a baby bird. I’m hungry.
(Claire is playing her own game and doesn’t want to play “baby bird”.)
Claire: There’s no more worms.
Alex: Well, there’s worms all around the world, Claire.
Claire: There’s no more worms.

Alex: Hey Claire, uh, you’re the mama bird, silly.
Claire: Why?
(Pause.)
Alex: Because you just are.


(Alex and Claire are taking pictures with the kids’ camera.)

Claire: Now my turn, I wanna take pictures of my girl.

Claire: I wanna take a picture after Alex, my baby.
Alex (to Daddy): I took a picture of your computer. Well, that wasn’t good at all. I don’t like you. Can you stop writing? Daddy, if you don’t stop writing, I’m not gonna take a picture of your computer.
Daddy: Okay, I stopped writing.
(Alex takes a picture of Daddy’s computer.)

Claire: I took, my baby a picture!
Daddy: Good job, Claire!


Claire: Daddy? I am reading a book, be quiet.


(Claire reads How the Grinch Stole Christmas.)

Claire: When he want, want, he want to get out.
Claire: You wanna get out? Well you haft to get out.
Claire: When you want to! Get out.
Claire: Nobody would feast him. Feast feast feast. Feast feast feast. Feast feast feast. feast. Feast feast feast feast feast.
Claire: Everybody were singing.
Claire: And… they got two things!
(Claire mumbles.)
Claire: What is you doing in that hole? I don’t know! You were sleeping, so.
Claire: Oh, dear! My baby sister.
(Claire mumbles.)
Claire: When they got home.
Claire: (Mumble) they was sleeping.
Claire: (Mumble) they was ‘nother sleeping.
(Claire mumbles.)
Claire: Everybody was (mumble) something.
Claire: (Mumble) was doing something.
Claire: Everybody was swimming and singing.
Claire: They would feast feast feast feast feast feast feast.
Claire: The end.


(Claire is shouting something about a monster.)
Alex (upset): I don’t want a monster!
Claire: It’s a pretend monster.

Daddy: Where’s the monster, Claire?
Claire: It’s right in the backyard.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire: We have, get in our house.


(Alex is whining, and Daddy tells him that Santa Claus is listening.)
Claire: He needs to bring you a toy, no whine. He needs, bring you coal.


(lunch)

Daddy: Hey Claire, what does Uncle Ray say?
Claire: Rowr.

Claire: What you eating?
Mommy: Chips.
Claire: I want chips!
Claire: I want chips!
Alex: Whatever Mommy’s eating, always say you want something.


(dinner)

Alex: Are we on our planet?
Mommy: We always are on our planet.

Daddy: Alex, what’s your favorite color?
Alex: Um, red, pink, and blue – um, um, green. Not blue.
Alex: I like three colors.


(Alex is holding a stuffed Santa doll, and picking up another toy.)
Alex: That can be my Blackberry, Claire. That can be my Blackberry.
Daddy: And who are you Alex?
Alex: I’m the daddy.
(Alex lifts up the Santa doll and groans.)
Alex: Santa, you’re heavy!

Alex: My Blackberry!! My Blackberry ran out of cake!!
Alex: Waugh. Batteries.

Claire: Ho ho ho! I love those ho ho ho!

Alex: But Claire, I’m Santa, okay?
Claire: But I’m a reindeer.


Alex: Can you count to zero? How do you count to zero?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Claire, I’m not gonna play with you after this day!

Alex: Mailmans don’t wear clothes, they wear PJs!

Alex: You’re Pablo and I’m Uniqua, but Daddy, you’re Tyrone.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: But Austin is sick. She’s at home.
Daddy: Okay.

Alex: I’m tired of delivering packages! Packages are hard work! Whew!

Alex: Mommy!
Alex: We’re delivering packages!
Claire: We’re delivering packages!
Alex: We’re a mailman, mailmans deliver packages!

Claire: Daddy, can you push this stroller for me?
Daddy: Yes.
Claire: It too heavy for me.

(Claire is not playing the way that Alex wants her to.)
Alex (angrily): Claire, I’m not gonna play with you after this day!
Claire: Okay.
Alex (angrily): I’m not gonna play with you after next bed or next bed or next bed or next bed or next nap or next nap or next nap or next bed or next bed or next nap or next nap or next bed. Okay, never!
Claire: Okay.

Alex: I don’t wanna play with you ‘cause you’re not nice. You’re breakin’ my rules.

Alex: No Claire, don’t play with me, I don’t want you to play.
Claire: I just putting this away.
Alex: Don’t talk to me.

(Daddy is putting on his socks. Claire brings him his shoes.)
Daddy: Thank you, Claire.
Claire (indicating Daddy’s left shoe and Daddy’s left foot): That is your shoe for that foot.
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: And this shoe for this foot.

Alex: Birds eat worms, Claire. And bugs too.

Alex: I was trying to scare Claire.
Daddy: Oh.
(Claire starts hopping around.)
Alex: Because she’s a rabbit.
Claire: No I a frog.

(Claire is hopping around on the floor.)
Claire: Daddy, I’m a frog!
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit.

Claire: Ribbit ribbit. Ribbit ribbit. Ribbit ribbit. Ribbit ribbit.

Claire: And a dog say “woof”.

Alex: Hey Claire, you’re a frog okay, get outta the nest. Because frogs jump. They don’t get in birds’ nests. They live everywhere, but they always sleep. Do frogs sleep during the day, Claire? Yes! Hey Daddy, do frogs sleep during the day? I think they do.

Alex: Hey Daddy can you come see all the zoo? See the zoo.
Daddy: What animals are there?
Alex: Well, there’s penguins… and birds… and frogs… and giraffes… turtles, snakes… lions… tigers… and also elephants. Those are the animals here except fish. But there’s bunnies here too.
Daddy: Buddies?
Alex: Bunnies yeah. And monkeys and gorillas. Hm. Ducks. Geese.
Alex: So Daddy you know all the animals here?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Well Daddy, I’ll set up a sign, so, so you know all the animals here okay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And there’s also dolphins.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: (Mumble). And camels.


(Claire puts her shoe on.)
Claire: I dood it.
Daddy: You dood it?
Claire: Yeah. I do that shoe on. I do this shoe on.

Claire: I did it! I did it Mommy! I put my shoes on!
Mommy: Oh, good job, except they’re on the wrong feet.


(Alex runs to Daddy.)
Alex: Aaaah! Daddy protect me! Here comes Uncle Ray.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Daddy, why do you say the wrong things?

(Daddy picks up Claire from school.)
Claire (running to Daddy): I peed in the potty!!


Alex (excited): Uncle Ray is here!

Alex: Why is Uncle Ray here?

Alex: I don’t want Uncle Ray to get me.


(Alex is playing trains.)
Grandma: What is that train?
Alex: That’s a coach!
Grandma: A coach?
Alex: Yeah. That’s a flatbed to put things on.


(Claire is sitting with Daddy. Suddenly she gets up.)
Claire: Catch me, and run!
(Claire runs away.)


(Alex is watching a home movie of himself at age 22 months.)
Alex: That – that little boy likes to do fun things.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Mommy and Daddy would play with him.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: They would take care of him.


(dinner)

(Claire is upset with Daddy.)
Alex: Daddy, why do you say the wrong things?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Just… just… don’t do anything.


(Mommy and Claire are playing with refrigerator letters.)
Mommy: Can you find the A? It’s red.
Claire: This the A.
Mommy: That’s right! Good job!
Claire: And this is a L.
Mommy: That’s right!
Claire: This a sss!
Mommy: That’s right!
Daddy: What is it? A “C”?
Mommy: No, she said “sss”! For S! That’s right!

(Claire wants to write her name.)
Mommy: Can you find a C? Do you need a C?
(Claire grabs the C.)
Mommy: That’s right, Claire!

Mommy: Now you need the R. The R is green.
(Claire grabs the R.)
Mommy: That’s right!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Claire, do you know what’s today? It’s Daddy’s birthday!

Alex: Is it Friday?
Daddy: No, it’s Thursday.
Alex: Oh.
Alex: Claire, do you know what’s today? It’s Daddy’s birthday!
Claire: Daddy’s birthday!
Mommy: Did you guys say happy birthday to Daddy?
Claire: Happy birthday to Daddy!
Alex: Happy birthday, Daddy!



Claire: It’s snowing outside! It’s getting in deeper! It’s getting deeper!

Claire (noticing that Juju is cold): Oh, it’s cold! On my Juju!


Alex: Birds don’t have haircuts. Do birds have haircuts?


(playing in the snow)

(Claire is inside, watching Alex and Daddy out the window. Alex throws a snowball at the window, and Claire cowers playfully.)
Claire: Bonk!

Daddy: What else do you wanna do?
Alex: Let’s build another snowman!
Daddy: One snowman was hard enough, let’s do something else.
Alex: We could go for a snow walk.

(Alex and Daddy are returning home from a long walk.)
Alex: I wish we had a car to go up this hill.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: I wish we had a car, so you can go for a walk, ‘cause it makes you tired, your feet get tired.


Mommy: Oh! Can you get a tissue, buddy?
Alex: Yeah, I feel it.


(Daddy reads Alex’s birthday card.)
Alex: It’s a monkey card!

(Daddy reads Claire’s birthday card.)
Claire: That Dora!

Daddy: Thank you for my cards, guys!
Alex: I like when it’s your birthday.
Mommy (to Claire): Did Daddy like his card?
Claire (to Mommy): Yeah. He be really happy.


(Mommy is decorating Daddy’s birthday cake.)
Mommy: What should I draw over here? What does Daddy like?
Alex: Daddy likes…
Claire: Daddy likes…
Alex: Daddy likes… chips!
Claire: Chips!
Mommy: What else does Daddy like?
Alex: Um… maybe carrots that make you healthy?
Mommy: Yeah. What does Daddy like to do?
Claire: Maybe… maybe chicken nuggets!
Alex: He likes to play with us.


(dinner)

Alex: If a monster comes, and eats you up… what will happen on Saturday?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: He will sneeze, and… a dinosaur will come out of his mouth!

Alex: Hey Daddy? Who says quack quack?
Daddy: Who says quack quack? I don’t know.
Alex: A cow, when it was in Mommy’s mouth!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Daddy, how do you spell F?

Alex: Daddy, how do you spell F?
Daddy: F.

Alex: Daddy, how do you spell F? I know it’s not even, you can’t spell it, but can we still spell it?

Alex: Well first, there’s an F. F. What comes next?
Alex: I think a W and a R and a E and a R and a T and a T and a E and a F and a Q. I think that’s how you spell it. F.
Daddy: You really think that’s how you spell it?
Alex: Yeah.


(Alex is complaining about practicing at school for his Christmas show.)
Alex: And I don’t like having my antlers on, because, they make my head be hot. I be hot in them.


Alex: I don’t have anybody to play with. I have nobody to play with. I have nobody to play with. Daddy! Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Alex?
Alex: I don’t have anybody to play with.
Daddy: I’m sorry, Alex. I’ll come play with you.


(snack)

Alex: I can see some tomatoes in your head, Daddy. I can see them through your ear.

Daddy: What else can you see in there, Alex?
Alex: Just peppers… and also cheese.


(Claire and Alex come home from a visit to Callum’s house.)

Claire: Callum gave me a hug, and he was soft [Claire rubs her face], like this.

Claire: And Callum helped me.
Daddy: Callum helped you?
Claire: Yeah, something was on my Juju.

Claire (carrying the big Mr. Potato Head): Maybe this! Maybe this, we’ll play with this toy.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: There’s things in here!

Claire: There’s nothing in there.
Claire: I opened this by myself!
Daddy: Good!
Claire: Look. Like this.
Daddy: Oh! Neat!
Claire (looking in it): Nuffing.

Claire: Funny nose! That is a funny nose. That is, this is a funny nose!
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: That’s a pig nose.
Claire: Yeah it a pig nose. This is a pig nose! This called a pig nose!
Daddy: Yeah.

Claire: And this his shoes.

Claire: Another nose!


(Claire is working a jigsaw puzzle.)
Alex: I wanna help!
Claire: Okay, you wanna help, Alex. You can help.
(Alex puts a piece in.)
Claire (to Alex): Oh yeah! It go right there! Good job.

Claire (trying to put a piece in): Maybe… maybe something. Okay.
Claire: Where this go, Alex?
Alex: I don’t know.
Claire: Okay…
Alex: Trying’s the best thing to do, Claire, you better try.
Claire: Maybe… here.
Claire: Yeah!

Alex: We put the puzzle together!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: Look Daddy! We put the puzzle together!
Daddy: Good job!


(dinner)

(Alex and Claire are talking about Santa Claus.)

Alex: (inaudible) your baby doll.
Claire: I have to be nice to my brother.

Alex: Hey Claire, let me eat my dinner, because you’re talking to me.

Alex (talking about Santa): He’s looking in his book to see what we’re doing.

Claire: When you bring me my fork, I say “thank you!”, okay?
Daddy: Okay.

Alex: I’m hungry. I’ve had a long day.

(Alex is watching his video message from Santa.)
Alex: I want a Buzz Lightyear for Christmas, Santa.

Alex: How many tacos can stand on the joke?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Three!

Claire: How, can, stand on the water?
Claire: Say “I don’t know”.
Daddy: I don’t know.
Claire: ‘Cause, there, was a boy standing on his head!

Alex: Santa’s watching you, Claire, he’s saying, “She’s not being nice, so I’ll not bring her a present.” So, you need to be nice, okay?
Claire: Okay.


(Mommy and Claire are doing a jigsaw puzzle, and Alex is helping from afar.)
Alex: It’s right there! Right beside Claire’s left leg!

(Claire puts the last piece in the puzzle.)
Claire: I finished Thomas!! Look!!
Claire (jumping up and down): I finished Thomas, Daddy!!
Daddy: Good job!
Claire: Now I can have a cookie!


(Alex and Claire are going to eat a Christmas cookie.)
Alex: Don’t eat too much, Claire!
Claire: Okay, I won’t. Silly.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I got a haircut!

Claire (excitedly): I got a haircut!

Claire: I took my jacket off by myself!


(dinner)

Daddy: Claire, if a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Claire: No.

Daddy: Claire, if you were going to a desert island, what would you take?
Claire: Eye-ode Juju.

Daddy: Claire, if you could have dinner with three fictional characters, who would they be?
Claire (cheerfully): I don’t know!
Alex: Maybe Pablo and Tyrone?
Claire: No.
Alex: Austin?
Claire: No.
Alex: Uniqua?
Claire: No.
Alex: Tasha?
Claire: No.


(Earlier, Alex refused to make a choice from among the options that Daddy offered him. Daddy is now explaining why that forced Daddy to make the choice on Alex’s behalf.)
Alex: But I didn’t like any of the choices.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Help help! I need help! Get me out the mud!

(It’s snowing.)

Claire (to Daddy): That’s snow in your hair!!

Alex: I’m gonna catch a snowflake on my tongue.


Claire (to Daddy): You have two band-aids!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire (showing one finger, then two fingers): One, two. Two!


Alex: On and off are opposites.
Mommy: That’s right.


Claire: Claire is – Mommy, Claire is like a ghost.
Mommy: She’s like a ghost in that picture?
Claire: Yeah.
Claire: Claire is like a ghost, Alex.


Claire: My diaper’s right.
Mommy: You mean your diaper’s not right?
(Pause.)
Claire: My diaper’s wrong.
(This is Claire’s first-ever time saying that correctly.)
Mommy: Good job, Claire!
Claire (proudly): I said it wrong.


(Claire is playing trains in bed during nap.)

Claire: Help help! I need help! Get me out the mud!
Claire: Okay.
Claire: Help! I need help! Get me out the mud!
Claire: Okay, I will help you!

Claire: Yay, I get it, outta the mud!

Claire: Help help! Help help, I need outta the mud! Help!
Claire: I’ll help you!

Claire: Help help! I’m in the mud! Help! Help help! Help, Kevin!
Claire: I will help you!

(Still during nap, Claire is pretending one of her trains is a telephone.)
Claire: I’m gonna call Mommy.
(Claire picks up the train/phone.)
Claire: Mommy -- Mommy, can you come here? Yeah, okay, bye-bye, so, you need to come here.
(Claire hangs up the train.)


(dinner)

(Daddy is loading up the Santa videos for Alex and Claire to watch.)
Claire: Can Santa say, is, this, da—uh say my name.
Daddy: What do you want Santa to say?
Claire: I want Santa to say my name.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: I’m excited.
Claire: I’m excited too.

(Santa says “Claire”.)
Claire (excitedly): He said my name!
(Later in the video, Santa again says “Claire”.)
Claire (excitedly): He said my name!
(Later in the video, Santa again says “Claire”.)
Claire (excitedly): He said my name!

Daddy (singing): Oh, the weather outside is frightful… But the fire…
(Daddy trails off.)
Alex: ...so delightful. Where did you learn that song, Daddy?
Daddy: I don’t know! Where did you learn it?
Alex: At school.
Alex (singing): But the fire is so delightful. And since there’s no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Daddy: Very good!
Alex (singing): It doesn’t show signs of stopping… Brought some corn for popping…
Daddy: That’s very good!
Alex (singing): And since there’s no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
Alex (singing): Finally kiss goodnight, how I hate going out in the storm…
(Pause.)
Alex: That’s all I know.
Mommy: That was very good, Alex!

(Mommy tells Daddy something.)
Alex: What is -- what does -- all those words mean?


Alex: Daddy, do you want to play with me?

(Mommy is drawing a picture with Claire.)
Alex: Don’t draw me.
Mommy: Why?
Alex: ‘Cause I don’t wanna be drawed.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

He said my name!!

(Daddy blows his nose.)
Alex (to Daddy): Is there a crusty in that nose?

Alex: I’m gonna lie on the sofa for a little bit, I’m tired.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: It’s already five zero zero one.
(The digital clock is showing 10:02.)


(Claire is drawing a picture.)
Claire: That a cat way in the tree. Someone needs to help him.

Alex: Firefighters help people – and cats… dogs… animals… lions… tigers… camels… and also alligators… crocodiles…


(Daddy and Alex are playing Shopkeepers, and Daddy is wearing Alex’s bicycle helmet.)

Alex: Shopkeepers don’t wear helmets.

Alex: Shopkeepers always, when they ride a bike, they wear a helmet. But you’re not riding a bike.


Alex (describing his picture of Alex and Grommie): Alex doesn’t like it, he’s mad ‘cause Grommie’s not being nice.


(lunch)

Claire: May I have some more pasta, called, mac and cheese, Daddy?


Mommy: Hey guys, when do you wanna go to the store?
Alex: Um… 33.
(Pause.)
Mommy: I don’t know what that means.
Alex: That’s a number.


(Claire and Alex are preparing to leave to go shopping with Mommy.)
Claire: Daddy, are you coming?
Daddy: Yeah, I’m going.
Claire: Thank you – I like… you to come.


Claire (walking hunched over, in a deep voice): I’m a turtle. I’m a big turtle. I can walk.


Alex (looking into Daddy’s empty mug): Were you drinking coffee?
Daddy: Yes, I was.
Alex: When I grow up, I can drink coffee too!
Daddy: That’s right!
Alex: Mommies can drink coffee, and also daddies!


(Alex and Claire are playing with trucks. “Scoop” is carrying Grommie’s squeaky ball.)
Alex: Hey Claire, can you help me get this, um ball to Farmer Pickles? Grommie’s Farmer Pickles. Grommie’s Farmer Pickles.


(Claire goes into the pantry, closes the door behind her, then comes back out.)
Claire: Peekaboo!
Daddy: Peekaboo!
Claire: I’m not talking to you, Daddy.


(Claire is drawing what she claims are “letters”.)
Claire: B, D, A, C. Says, “watermelon”.


(Claire and Alex are watching Alex’s video from Santa.)
Claire (excited): Mommy? Santa said Alex’s name!

(Claire and Alex are watching Claire’s video from Santa.)
Claire (thrilled): He said my name!


Daddy: And what did he say to you, Claire?
Daddy: What did Santa say to you?
Claire: Um, Claire. Claire’s name.
Daddy: Yeah.

Daddy: Alex, what did Santa say to you?
Alex: I’m four years old.
Daddy: That’s right!
Daddy: Did he ask you to do anything?
Alex: Nn-nn.


Alex (in bed, over the monitor): Um – I see colors.
(And not for the first time…)