You're a sandwich!

Daddy (to Claire): I'm gonna eat your ear.
(Daddy pretends to eat Claire’s ear.)
Claire: Uh have it back.


Alex: What are you doing, Mommy?
Mommy: I'm getting you some water.
Alex: Okay. But I'm not really thirsty anymore because I got the germ out.


Claire: Uh Grandma?
Alex: Grandma’s outside still, gardening.


(Alex is having a snack on the front porch.)
Alex: I have to ring the bell so I can get more cheese and blueberries, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: I wanna ring the bell.
(Alex rings the doorbell.)
(After a moment, Mommy answers the door.)
Mommy: Yeah, honey? Did you wanna come in?
Alex: I wanted to have more cheese and more blueberries.
Mommy: Okay, I’ll bring some out.


(dinner time)

Alex: I’m gonna eat this pasta now.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire (holding a handful of shredded cheese): Big.
Alex: Grommie licked me.
Daddy: Oh he did?
Alex: Yeah. On my foots, on the bottom.

(Grandma comes inside.)
Claire: Oh, Grandma’s back!

Alex: Daddy! Daddy I’m tryin’ to tell you something.
Daddy: Oh, what are you trying to tell me?
Alex: I drinked my cup with one hand so it couldn’t fall out.
Daddy: Oh, good!
Alex: It didn’t fall out cause I drinked it like this. And it didn’t fall out.
Daddy: That’s good!

Alex: I really like this pasta.
Daddy: Yeah? Good.

(Alex gets down from the table.)
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes, honey?
Alex: I thought you were lookin’ at pictures.
Mommy: No, I was checking my email, and now I’m gonna eat my dinner.

Claire: Uh more water, peeze. Uh more water.
Mommy: Do you need more water?
Claire: Nope. Have more water, cup. Uh more.

(No idea what prompted this remark.)
Alex: I’m just being silly, Daddy, don’t be that way.

Alex: Claire and Daddy and Mommy – and Grommie – are not gonna play with me.
Alex: Why are you gonna play with me, guys?

Alex: Was that hambooger, Claire?
Claire: Mm, yeah.
Alex: She said “yeah” to me. I think she said “yeah”.

Daddy: Grandma’s a taco shell, did you know that?
Alex: No she’s not. She’s a person.

Daddy: Alex, you’re a sandwich.
Alex: No, I’m not a sandwich. I’m a boy.
Daddy: Claire, you’re a sandwich.
Claire: No sandwich.
Claire (pointing at Daddy): Ah sandwich.
Daddy: You’re a sandwich?
Claire: Daddy sandwich.
(Daddy laughs.)
Claire: No sandwich, ah! Mommy sandwich!

Mommy (to Claire): You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sandwich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sandwich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sandwich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sandwich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sammich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sam. Wich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sam. Wich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
Claire: You’re a sandwich.
Mommy: You’re a sandwich.
(Claire points and shrieks.)
(Mommy points and shrieks.)
Claire (shrieking): You’re a sandwich!