Hey Daddy, I know how to clean dishes! You put ‘em in the sink, and somebody cleans ‘em!

Alex (proudly): Hey Daddy, I know how to clean dishes! You put ‘em in the sink, and somebody cleans ‘em!


(getting ready for nap)

(Claire is finishing her bathroom stuff.)
Claire: I’m gonna wash my toothbrush… and I’m gonna get some water… and I’m gonna get some water… and I’m gonna drink it… and then, I’m gonna go get a diaper. And then, I’m done.

(Claire throws her (clean) diaper to Daddy.)
Claire (to Daddy): I throwed my diaper to you.
Alex: Don’t throw diapers at people.


Alex: Mommy, can I have a piece of paper? I wanna draw something. I know how to draw a lowercase Q.
Mommy: Oh?
Alex: I was thinking about that when I was napping.


Alex: My name! I’m practicing making my name!
Mommy: Good.
Alex: Now, this is the person who made the picture. ‘Cause – I’m drawing my name because I made the picture.


(Daddy is watching a basketball game on TV.)
Claire (looking at the TV): That’s a hard floor, Daddy.
Daddy: That’s a hard floor? Oh yeah, that is a hard floor.
Claire: We have a hard floor.
(Claire walks over to the hardwood floor and smacks her palm on it.)
Claire: There’s a hard floor. That’s a hard floor.

(Claire is eating pretzels.)
Claire: Look a rainbow!!

(A commercial interrupts the game.)
Claire: Look, no baseball. No baseball, Daddy.

Claire: I want it to go back to baseball.
Daddy: You want it to go back to baseball?
Claire: Yeah ‘cause I wanna watch baseball.

Claire: What’s that on their hard floor?
Daddy: What do you see?
Claire: What’s that yellow thing on that hard floor?
Daddy: That’s a yellow jacket, it’s like a bumblebee.
Claire: It’s a bug. It’s a bug, Daddy. It’s a bug.
Daddy: Yeah, that’s right.
Claire: Does it hurt you? Does it hurt you?
Daddy: Um, it can hurt you, it can sting you yeah.
Claire: I don’t like bugs. They hurt me. I don’t like bugs.
Daddy: You don’t like bugs.
Claire: Um, my friend is a bu, bu – um, bumblebee. I – my friend is a bumblebee. My friend is a bumblebee.
Daddy: Your friend is a bumblebee?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Which friend?
Claire: Um. I don’t know. Which friend. I don’t know her name.
Daddy: But a bumblebee is a bug. Is your friend a bug?
Claire: No.
Daddy: Does she look like a bumblebee?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Does she fly?
Claire: No.
(A commercial comes on.)
Claire: Look no baseball, fix baseball. Fix baseball.
Claire: You need to fix baseball. Fix baseball, Daddy.
Daddy: It’ll be back on in a minute Sweetie, this is just a commercial.
(Claire watches the commercials for a bit.)
Claire (muttering): Commercial. Commercial. Commercial commercial.
Claire (muttering): Bommercial. Bommercial.
Claire (muttering): Yesterday. Yesterday, yesterday.
(Coincidentally, right after Claire says “yesterday”, the game announcer – the game is back on – says the word “yesterday”.)
Claire: Why did that man say "yesterday”?
Daddy: I don’t know, why did you say “yesterday”?
Claire: I don’t know.

Claire (singing to herself as she colors): I’m drawing words, I’m drawing words
Daddy: What are you drawing, Claire?
(Claire looks embarrassed.)
Claire: Ah! I’m drawing words.
Claire: I didn’t draw words yesterday!


Alex: Why don’t you color, Claire?
Claire (grouchily): I’m gonna color.
Alex: Don’t talk to your brother like that.


Daddy (to Claire): And one day, you can play basketball, like those boys.
Alex: Those are mans.
Daddy: Yeah, they’re men.
Claire: One day can I be a man?
Daddy: No, you can be a woman.
Claire: Okay.
Alex: Maybe you’ll work somewhere in a store.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: You never know what you’re gonna be when you grow up.
Alex: Daddy, you never know what you’re gonna be when you grow up.
Daddy: That’s right.

Alex: We can’t go to the POY yet, we’re not big enough. We can’t go to the POY yet.
Claire: Yeah we can’t go to the POY yet.

Daddy: Why can’t you go to the POY yet?
Alex: Because we’re not big enough.
Daddy: What’s the POY?
Alex: You know what we drive past. You know, when we see that game? You know? When we drive past that game, that’s the POY.
Daddy: Oh, okay.
Alex: When we pass that playground.
Daddy: That’s the POY, okay.
Alex: Remember when – when we go somewhere, and then we pass the POY.
(Alex is talking about the Y.)

Alex: He – that man did it, Daddy.
Daddy: What did he do?
Alex: He threw that – he threw that basketball right into the basket.
Daddy: Good for him!
Alex: And then it falled out.
Alex: He got it too!

Claire: Why are you drawing, Alex?
Claire: Why are you drawing, Alex?
Alex (testily): Because I want to!
Claire: Stop, talking, back to me.
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: You’re is.



(dinner)

Alex (out of the blue): If you wanna go swimming, and the water’s very deep, you hafta take a boat.
Daddy: That’s right.
Alex: Because you might sink.
Alex: When you go in the water you would sink! And then you wouldn’t be able to get out again.

Alex: Well, this is Sunday night. And on Sunday night it’s still raining.

(Alex finishes all of his green beans.)
Alex: Daddy look.
(Daddy looks.)
Alex (singing): Green beans are gone, green beans are gone, green beans, aaare, gooone!
Daddy: Good job!


Daddy: Good job, Alex. I like that you put your clothes in the hamper now.
Alex: I like to do it! Because when I'm carrying it, I feel proud of myself.

Daddy: Claire, what’s your favorite color?
Claire: Black.
Daddy: Black?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: And what’s your favorite number?
Claire: Um, two.

Daddy: Alex, what's your favorite color?
Alex: Green, red, and pink.
Claire: My favorite color is purple and black.



(Claire and Alex are playing together before bedtime.)

Claire: Why you get – why you get out of that one?
Alex: Um, because I wet the bed, and then, I changed my bed, and you couldn’t see it, you couldn’t even hear it, ‘cause your door was closed, and you were sleeping.
Claire: Yeah, ‘cause, you didn’t wake me up when I was sleeping.
Alex: Yeah.
Claire: And then I was, then I was, wasn’t hearing you.
Alex: Yeah. Your door was closed.
Claire: Yeah. ‘Cause my door was closed.

Claire: Can you not play with my stroller, Alex?
Alex: Daddy? How ‘bout, we could take turns having the stroller. Because I wanna have it too. So we can take turns!
Daddy: Yeah, you can take turns.
Alex: Claire, you can have a turn for three minutes.
Claire: Yeah, and then you can have it.

Claire: Now you can have my stroller now, Alex.
Alex: Okay, but I’m a baby and you’re a mommy, okay?
Claire: Baby wants to go to bed.
Alex: Okay. You wanna read ---
(Alex starts crying.)
Claire: Did you hurt your knee?
Alex: I bumped my knee!
Claire: I can – kiss it –
Alex: It’s bleeding! I need Band-Aid!
Claire: Go get a Band-Aid?

Alex: I bumped my – I bumped my knee on the wall!
Claire: Is your knee bleeding?
Alex: No it’s not anymore.

(Alex and Claire are singing about having a party.)
Claire (sort of singing): We can get in the party!
Alex (sort of singing): We are having fun!
Claire (sort of singing): I’m falling here, all day! And we can fall, down, every day!
Alex (sort of singing): We have a birthday!
Claire (sort of singing): We have a party!

Claire (sort of singing): Baby, baby, baby’s here!
Claire (sort of singing): Baby’s at the party!
Claire (sort of singing): Baby’s at the party!
Claire (sort of singing): Baby’s at the party!
Alex: It’s not – it’s not the party anymore.
Claire: Why?
Alex: No party. Because – because baby wants to go to sleep.

Claire (to Daddy): Daddy, when I sleep, the rain will wake – wake me up.
Daddy: The rain will wake you up?
Claire: Yeah when I sleep.
Daddy: No, I don’t think it will. And if it does, you just go back to sleep!
Claire: Oh.
(Claire giggles.)

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Alex.
Alex: When I was sleeping at nap time?
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Whenever I heard rain, I heard “Psssssshhh!” But it doesn’t scare me. It didn’t wake me up either, but it kept my eyes open.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Yeah. Well I couldn’t fall asleep though.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Because… you said that I didn’t sleep.

(Alex selects a book of nursery rhymes.)
Claire: That’s my Baa Baa Black Sheep right there.
Daddy: That sure is.
Alex: And Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Alex: Oh I know this one.
Daddy: Okay?
Alex: What’s the first one?
Daddy: Little Jack Horner.
Alex: Little Jack Horner – Corner – sat in the corner, eating a Christmas pie…
Alex: He stuck in his thumb…
Daddy: He stuck in his thumb…
Alex: He stuck in his thumb, and he said “What a good boy am I.”
Daddy: That’s right.

Alex: What’s a tuffet? Oh I know what a tuffet is: a rug.
Daddy: You know… I think that… might be about right.

Daddy: This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home…
Alex: I know, I know this. Um, “Wee wee wee, all the way home.”
Daddy: That’s right.

Alex: Oh I know this one.
Alex (singing): Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, the blueberry bush, the blueberry bush – excuse me excuse me!
(Alex and Claire crack up at this inside joke.)
Claire: You know that one, Alex!
Alex: Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, the blueberry bush, the blueberry bush – excuse me excuse me!
(Alex laughs so much he can barely finish the preceding line.)
Claire: Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush, blueberry bush –excuse me!
(Alex and Claire crack up again.)
Claire: Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush – excuse me!
(Alex and Claire crack up again.)
Alex: Here we go ’round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush, blueberry bush, here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, early in the morning. Excuse me excuse me!
(Alex and Claire crack up again.)
Alex: Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush excuse me, excuse me!
(Alex and Claire crack up again.)
Claire: Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush, blueberry bush… um, blueberry bush, excuse me excuse me excuse me!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush, blueberry bush – excuse me excuse me!
(Alex and Claire laugh.)
Alex: I know this one. Here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush, blueberry bush – excuse me leaves!
(Alex cracks up.)
Claire: Can we – you know this one, Alex!
Alex: Yes, sir.
Daddy: Old Mother Hubbard –
Alex: Can I do this one? Um, here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, blueberry bush, blueberry bush, here we go ‘round the blueberry bush, early in the morning. Miss Old Hubbard, went to get some bone for her, for her poor dog. But when she came back, the cupboard was, the cupboard was buried, and so that little dog had none.
Daddy: Very good.
Claire: I know this one! Um, um… what is it?
Daddy: Yankee Doodle.
Claire and Alex: Yankee Doodle…
Daddy: …came to town…
Daddy and Alex: …riding on a pony…
Alex: Stuck a feather –
Claire: No I wanna do it! He stuck a feather in his hat, and he called it macaroni!
(Claire laughs.)
Alex: He stuck, um – um –
Daddy: Yankee Doodle…
Daddy and Alex: …went to town…
Alex: …riding on a pony, he stuck a feather in his hat and called it tacaroni. No macaroni.
Alex: Jack and Jill went up the hill went up the hill, to get a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill, um… came tumbling after. Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. The man’s kings and the man’s horses, couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Alex: Pussy cat, pussy cat, where did you go? I went to the queen’s castle, and I um – and I – frightened a mouse, under her chair.
Daddy: Very good.
Claire: Now, but, I wanna say Baa Baa Black Sheep.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire (singing): Baa Baa…
Claire and Alex (singing slowly and badly): …black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
Daddy: Yay, very good!
Alex: The three little kittens lost their mittens. We cannot find our mittens. Well then you shouldn’t have some pie. We found our mittens. Now you can have some pie.
Daddy: Very good.
Claire: Don’t say “falling down the stairs”!
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Um.
Daddy: There was an old –
Alex: There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.
Daddy: She gave them some broth without any bread.
Alex: She gave them some broth, without any bread, and took them inside and put them to bed.
Daddy: That’s right.
Daddy: Goosey goosey gander…
Alex: Goosey goosey gander, downstairs and upstairs, and in my lady’s chamber. [pronounced to rhyme with “clamber”]
Alex: There I met an old man who wouldn’t say his prayers. I took him by the left – um, right hand, and took him up the stairs.
Daddy: Very good.
Daddy: All right.
Claire: My book!


Claire: Bye-bye chair and pillow!