She said go potty. That wasn't Mommy, that was the TV.

(Mommy, Alex, and Claire have the toy food spread out on top of a big cardboard box.)
Alex: We're havin' a picnic, Daddy!


Alex: Claire, may you sit with me?


Alex: This - this is mines!
Daddy: Oh, where’d you get it from?
Alex: Uncle Ed and Kirk.


(dinner time)

Alex: Can Mommy sit in Daddy’s chair and you sit in Mommy’s chair?
Daddy: That's fine by me.
Alex: Mommy, will you sit by me?
Mommy: Yeah.

Daddy: Who gave you your dinner, Alex?
Alex: Mommy did.
(Pause.)
Daddy: That was nice of her.
(Pause.)
Alex: Thank you for my dinner, Mommy.
Mommy: You’re welcome.

Alex: Oh you made broccoli! She made broccoli too!
Daddy: Who else made broccoli?
Alex: Uh, Mommy made it. No one else.

Alex: May, um, Mommy sit there and Alex sit over there and um Claire sit by Daddy over here and... that's it.

Alex: I'm trying to get some little bites.
Daddy: Okay. Were you successful?
Alex: Uh, I'm trying to get this bite, okay? Then you talk to me.

Mommy: Daddy’s gonna be forty in a week.
Alex: Forty?
Mommy: Can you believe that?
Alex: Forty. Forty, forty. Aaaaahhhh!

Daddy: Alex, what would you take on the Island of Sodor?
Alex: Um, ah, ah ah, ah, car, and, I will take Spider-Man, and he’ll say “roar!” on the Island of Sodor.


Daddy: Alex, which do you prefer, basketball or football?
Alex: Basketball and football.
Daddy: Why is that?
Alex: Um, because I like to throw them really really really really high, and it bangs the lightbulb. Is that okay?


Alex: Dogs -- don't -- poop -- or -- pee-pee! They -- pee-pee -- inside! On the floor! Not –- out -- side!


(brushing teeth)

Alex: Don't make funny faces.
Daddy: Okay.

Alex: I want you to make funny faces in the bathroom.


Daddy: Elmo loves you.
Alex: Elmo loves you?
Daddy: Yeah, he does.
Alex: No, he doesn't love you.


Daddy: Do you like to do art at school?
Alex: I don’t like to do anything.
Daddy: How come?
Alex: Because I just like to sit on the couch.

Daddy: But why don't you like playing with your friends?
Alex: Because I just like to sit on the couch and I don't want to do any of those things.

Daddy: Do you have Circle Time?
Alex: Um, I have Circle Time, but I want to sit on the chair at school, but I want to play toys, but before everyone sits on the floor I have to sit on the chair, not on the carpet.
Daddy: Why?
Alex: Because I don't want to do Circle Time either.


(Mommy and Daddy are downstairs in the kitchen, and Alex is in bed.)

Alex (fussing to himself, heard over the monitor): I need to go potty. I need to go potty.
Mommy (shouting from the kitchen): Go potty!!
(Long pause.)
Alex (to himself): She said go potty. That wasn't Mommy, that was the TV.

Mommy (shouting): Alex, can you hear Mommy?
Alex (to himself): The TV - the TV said, “Can you hear Mommy?” “Alex, can you hear Mommy?” But I'm sl - I'm sleeping and I don't hear Mommy.