Science Kid's in the soap.

Daddy: Where did you go, Alex?
Alex: To the doctor.
Daddy: Oh! Did they have fun things to do?
Alex: Yeah, but Mommy tried to read me a book.
Daddy: She did?
Alex: But she tried to read about a cow, and a horse, and a peacock, and she did Farmer Brown.


Alex (excited about wearing his underwear): Look at me, Daddy!!


(Alex and Claire are running around pushing their cars.)

(Alex almost runs into Claire with his car.)
Mommy (to Alex): Don't run into her! You’re gonna hurt her!
Alex (to no one in particular): Don't run into me! Then I will hurt!

Alex: I went past her!

Alex: Claire, go the other way!

Mommy: ‘Kay, it’s almost time to wash hands.
Claire (running into the kitchen): Me! Me! Me!


(Dinner time. The seating arrangement has changed.)

Alex: Is Claire by Daddy and am I by Mommy?

Alex: Is Claire beside Daddy and I’m beside you?
Mommy: Yeah.

Alex: Are we going to Wal-Mart after this nap?
Mommy: Mm-hm.
Alex: I like going to Wal-Mart.
Mommy: I know you do.
Alex: Can I look at toys for a minute?
Mommy: Well, I was going to go while you’re in bed. I was just gonna run in, and just get one thing.
Alex: Not do all of it?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Not do all of it?
Mommy: Right. Just get one thing.
Alex: Not get a lot of toys.

(Mommy tells Alex about the family his class adopted for Christmas.)
Alex: This is the family.
Mommy: This is your family. But this is for a different family. They have a Mommy and a Daddy and seven kids.
Alex: Seven kids. And a dog.

Alex: At my school there's a lotta kids.
Mommy: That’s right.
Alex: And at this house, there's two kids.
Mommy: That’s right. And one dog.
Alex: And one dog.

Mommy: What did the lady at the doctor’s office give you?
Alex: A lollipop.
Daddy: Wow.
Alex: I like red.
Daddy: You do?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: Claire likes purple.

(Claire is crying because she wants more broccoli.)
Alex: Don't cry, Claire. Ask!

(Alex has been trying to ask for honey mustard, but couldn’t remember the words. He finally remembers.)
Alex: Honey mustard.
Mommy: Honey mustard.
Alex: I didn't know what it looks like.
Daddy: You didn’t know what it looks like?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: Sometimes I don't know that word.
Daddy: Yeah. But you thought of it this time.
Alex: It was hard.

Alex (to Claire, squinting his eyes): Now it’s dark.
Alex (opening his eyes): Now it’s sunny!

Alex: Daddy, will you run with me?
Alex (sternly): And don’t be a tickle monster.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: I will say “Mama Mama” later, when Mommy’s working on the computer.

Alex: Let's go to Wal-Mart after we eat. And then we go to my school, okay? Would that be fun?


Alex: Both our rooms are dark.


Alex: I don't want shadow bear and I don't want shadow bed.


Alex: Claire needs a tissue.


Alex: Science Kid went down the drain!


Alex: Science Kid’s on the counter.
Daddy: Science Kid, what are you doing on the counter?
Alex: Oh no you put your tongue back in your mouth.
Alex: Science Kid’s on the counter.
Daddy: Oh no!
Alex: Science Kid’s in the soap.
Daddy: Oh no, what's he doing in the soap?
Alex: He keeps getting in things.
Daddy: Oh no, what's he doing?


Alex: Oh, Science Kid’s poop on the floor.
Daddy: Science Kid, don't poop on the floor.
Alex: He had no diaper on.
Daddy: Okay, can you spit?
Alex: He poop on the floor.
Daddy: Oh no, okay Alex can you spit?
Alex: His dog pooped on the floor. His dog, his dog.
Daddy: Okay, let’'s spit now.
Alex: Science Kid doesn’t have a dog, a re - a real dog.

Alex: Science Kid’s on the counter. Um, no, Science Kid’s pooping on the counter!

Alex: Um, Science Kid’s – oh he went – um – um – where’d he go – and… Where did Science Kid go?
Daddy: Somewhere! Where did he go?
Alex: He went through that jash! He went through that jash behind the chair!
Daddy: Oh no!
Alex: And now we can't reach him! Why? Let's play house.

Alex (singing): Any more...

Alex: So Mommy’s at the store and when she comes back I will talk to her.
Daddy: Okay. Did you want to talk to me?
Alex: When Mommy gets back I will talk to her. From Wal-Mart.
Daddy: Okay.