Mallory.

Daddy: Who are you reading to, Claire?
Claire: Mallory.


Alex: My pee got dark, Claire. So I get to drink juice and water.


(The kids come home from school.)

Claire: Daddy, I got you a present!

Claire: I’m hot in my sweater.

Alex: At school there was a fire, and the alarm went off, and I went outside and covered my ears, and I couldn’t hear but it was still beeping.

Alex: Claire, take off my shoes! Take off my shoes, Claire!
Claire: ‘Kay.


Claire (to Daddy): You need to close your eyes so I can be Santa!

Claire: You need to close your eyes! You need to close your eyes so I can get you, a toy.


Alex (to Daddy): I’m gonna measure you.
(Alex takes a stuffed toy dolphin and places it on Daddy’s arm.)
Alex: You’re 41.


(dinner)

Alex: Do you want Santa’s message, Claire? Santa’s message, or, the dinner game.
Mommy: Or we could just talk.
Alex: I don’t wanna talk.

(Alex and Claire are watching Santa’s messages to them.)
Alex: Where’s his mouth? I can’t see it.
Daddy: It’s under his beard. He has a big beard.
Claire: And his nose is under his glasses.

(Claire points her finger at Daddy.)
Claire: Krr, krr, krr, krr!
Claire: I’m getting you ‘quirty, Daddy.
Daddy: What are you squirting at me?
Claire: Um, my finger. Water’s coming out.
Daddy: Oh, okay.
Claire: Krr, krr, krr, krr!


Alex: I want Santa to bring me Buzz Lightyear for Christmas, and a new train, like Gordon or Henry, but I want Gordon. I want Buzz Lightyear and Gordon.
Claire: I want a new Rosie.