Daddy? I am reading a book, be quiet.

(Claire and Alex are “having a party” at the coffee table.)

Alex: Where’s the camera that I had at Grandma’s house?
(Mommy helps Alex find the camera.)
Alex: I wanna take a picture of Claire sitting at the table! Because she looks pretty!

Alex: I’m allergic to roast beast.

Alex: Roast beast is not good for me. I can eat different chicken. I can eat ham. Ham’s chicken. I like to eat ham. Ham, not roast beast. Roast beast is not my favorite.

Alex: Hey Claire, I’m a baby bird. I’m hungry.
(Claire is playing her own game and doesn’t want to play “baby bird”.)
Claire: There’s no more worms.
Alex: Well, there’s worms all around the world, Claire.
Claire: There’s no more worms.

Alex: Hey Claire, uh, you’re the mama bird, silly.
Claire: Why?
(Pause.)
Alex: Because you just are.


(Alex and Claire are taking pictures with the kids’ camera.)

Claire: Now my turn, I wanna take pictures of my girl.

Claire: I wanna take a picture after Alex, my baby.
Alex (to Daddy): I took a picture of your computer. Well, that wasn’t good at all. I don’t like you. Can you stop writing? Daddy, if you don’t stop writing, I’m not gonna take a picture of your computer.
Daddy: Okay, I stopped writing.
(Alex takes a picture of Daddy’s computer.)

Claire: I took, my baby a picture!
Daddy: Good job, Claire!


Claire: Daddy? I am reading a book, be quiet.


(Claire reads How the Grinch Stole Christmas.)

Claire: When he want, want, he want to get out.
Claire: You wanna get out? Well you haft to get out.
Claire: When you want to! Get out.
Claire: Nobody would feast him. Feast feast feast. Feast feast feast. Feast feast feast. feast. Feast feast feast feast feast.
Claire: Everybody were singing.
Claire: And… they got two things!
(Claire mumbles.)
Claire: What is you doing in that hole? I don’t know! You were sleeping, so.
Claire: Oh, dear! My baby sister.
(Claire mumbles.)
Claire: When they got home.
Claire: (Mumble) they was sleeping.
Claire: (Mumble) they was ‘nother sleeping.
(Claire mumbles.)
Claire: Everybody was (mumble) something.
Claire: (Mumble) was doing something.
Claire: Everybody was swimming and singing.
Claire: They would feast feast feast feast feast feast feast.
Claire: The end.


(Claire is shouting something about a monster.)
Alex (upset): I don’t want a monster!
Claire: It’s a pretend monster.

Daddy: Where’s the monster, Claire?
Claire: It’s right in the backyard.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire: We have, get in our house.


(Alex is whining, and Daddy tells him that Santa Claus is listening.)
Claire: He needs to bring you a toy, no whine. He needs, bring you coal.


(lunch)

Daddy: Hey Claire, what does Uncle Ray say?
Claire: Rowr.

Claire: What you eating?
Mommy: Chips.
Claire: I want chips!
Claire: I want chips!
Alex: Whatever Mommy’s eating, always say you want something.


(dinner)

Alex: Are we on our planet?
Mommy: We always are on our planet.

Daddy: Alex, what’s your favorite color?
Alex: Um, red, pink, and blue – um, um, green. Not blue.
Alex: I like three colors.


(Alex is holding a stuffed Santa doll, and picking up another toy.)
Alex: That can be my Blackberry, Claire. That can be my Blackberry.
Daddy: And who are you Alex?
Alex: I’m the daddy.
(Alex lifts up the Santa doll and groans.)
Alex: Santa, you’re heavy!

Alex: My Blackberry!! My Blackberry ran out of cake!!
Alex: Waugh. Batteries.

Claire: Ho ho ho! I love those ho ho ho!

Alex: But Claire, I’m Santa, okay?
Claire: But I’m a reindeer.


Alex: Can you count to zero? How do you count to zero?