It’s not really a telephone.

Mommy: Oh!
Alex: It’s okay, Mommy. You didn’t knock anything down.
Alex: It just fell, and you didn’t get hurt anyway.
Mommy: Yeah, you’re right.


Alex (to Claire, after nap): You need to sleep so you’re not grumpy. And sad.

(Daddy passes gas.)
Claire: Say “excuse me”.
Daddy: Excuse me.
Claire: “I had some gas.”
Daddy: Excuse me, I had some gas.
Claire: Good job.


(Claire shows the toy pager to Mommy.)
Alex: You can call people on it.
Mommy: Oh.
Alex: It’s a telephone.
Claire: It’s a telephone.
Alex: It’s like a telephone
Claire: It’s like a telephone
Alex: But it’s not really a telephone.
Claire: It’s not really a telephone.
(Mommy laughs.)
Mommy: You guys are cute.
Alex: She was saying things I said.


(dinner)

Alex: I can’t talk because – because my butter is starting to melt.

Alex: Daddy? One day your head’ll – your headache’ll feel better.
Daddy: Thank you.

Alex: Are you sick?
Daddy: I’m not sick, just my head hurts so bad.
Alex: You have to get a lot of sleep tomorrow, okay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: You can stay up with me.
Daddy: Okay, thank you.
Alex: If you wanna lie on the sofa you can.
Daddy: Thanks, buddy.

Alex: Do dogs give people hugs? Say “I don’t know.”
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: They give kisses! Like people do. They say [kiss sound]. They don’t lick people. Is that’s a silly joke?
Daddy: Yeah, that’s silly.
Alex: Why don’t chickens sit in chairs? Why – why do chickens sit on hay?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Because they don’t sit in chairs.
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: That’s what Gerald said on Science Kid.

(Grommie is licking Alex.)
Alex: Grommie, that’s enough.
Alex: I want him to not lick me. Because that’s enough. Now I can’t itch, because my toes are just licked.

Alex: I want him to stop licking me right now. This minute.