I, I tired of wait.

Alex: I like the things I can do.
Daddy: Oh? Good. What can you do?
Alex: I can color, and paint, and if I don't color right I get timeout… and I don't get out, ‘cause… they don't do that.

Claire: I looking at that tree.


(dinner)

Claire: I yock sour cream! I yock it!

Alex (out of the blue): I think I wanna be for Halloween as a banana.

(Daddy puts bread in the taoster.)
Claire: Uh one two three.
Daddy: Okay, you ready?
Claire and Daddy (together): One, two, three, four, pop!
Claire: It's not popping!
Daddy: It's not popping!
Claire: We wait, pop.
Daddy: Okay, we'll wait.
Claire: I, I tired of wait.

Alex's bread: Hi. Hi. Hi.
Claire: I don't have bread. I don't have bread, Ah-yah.
Alex: Your finger can say hi.

Alex: Can we play Deep Pillows?
Daddy: What do you want to play?
Alex: I wanna play River.

Alex: Can we see a movie, Mommy? Just one movie. Because it's late.


(Alex is in bed, shouting loud enough to be heard downstairs.)
Alex: I have something to cut!
Alex: I have something to cut!
Mommy: What?
Alex: I have something to cut!
Daddy (to Mommy): He has something to cut.
Alex: Can you say "okay"?
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: Can you, can you come cut it?
Mommy: Okay.

Don't have pee in it.

(Daddy is getting ready to change Claire’s diaper. Claire brings Daddy a new diaper.)
Claire: Dat new diaper.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Don’t have pee in it.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: Mommy’s knee was bony when we were singing to go down for nap.


(Daddy is driving Claire and Alex to school.)
Alex: I like the computers part in preschool.


Alex: Daddy? I don't like going upside down in roller coasters.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: I just like the round ones.


(dinner)

Claire: Blueberries not hot.
Mommy: That's right, the blueberries aren't hot.
Alex: Fruit -- fruit don't be hot, Daddy. Fruit doesn't be hot.

Alex: My foot hurts. Inside.

Claire's bread: Hi.
Alex's bread: Hi.
Claire’s bread: Uh go to work?
Alex’s bread: No. Let's stay home.

Alex: Can we have -- um, I wish we could have numbers on our driveway.

I'm gonna find out how old they are.

Dora: And the piece that has eight sides.
Claire (pointing): Ah-gon eight sides. Ah-gon.


Claire: Watch me dance, Daddy. Watch me dance.
(Claire dances.)


Daddy: So, how was school today?
Alex: Um. Fine. Fine!
Daddy: Fine? That’s all you have to say?
Claire: Uh got – get in my class.
Daddy: You got in your class?
Claire: Dat new, new class. I get in my new class.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: That’s great!

Daddy: Claire, do you like your new class?
Claire: Yeah. I like my new class.
Daddy: What do you like about it?
Claire: My teachers.
Daddy: Yeah? Who are your teachers?
Claire: Fiffon. Fiffon!
Daddy: Fiffon?
Claire: Yeah.

Daddy: Alex, how is – how is preschool?
Alex: Um. Fine, heh.
(Pause.)
Alex: I just say fine.
Daddy: Yes, I heard you.
Alex: Mm-hm.

Daddy: Who else is in preschool?
Alex: All my friends.
Daddy: Such as…
Alex: Such as?
Daddy: Yes, such as…
Alex: I’m not such as. You’re such as.
Daddy: I’m not such as. You’re such as.
Alex (laughing): No!

Daddy: Well, who are your teachers?
Alex: Um. Miss Schern and… Miss Spivey. Who was the next teacher, Mommy?
Mommy: What, honey?
Alex: Who is the next teacher, I had three in my class.
Mommy: You have Miss Schern, and Miss Spivey, and Miss Wilson.
Alex: Oh. I had Miss Wilson, Daddy.
Daddy: Oh. Do you like your new teachers?
Alex: Yeah.

Alex: Why do you give me, the kinda cup I have, why do I have – why not.

Daddy: You’re not a cat! And that’s not a hat!
Alex: That is a hat, and I’m, indeed, a cat.

(Daddy puts bread in the toaster for Claire.)
Claire (to Daddy): Say “one, two, three, four, five”?
Daddy: Okay.
Claire and Daddy (in unison): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
Claire: Pop!


(Alex has been getting in trouble with Daddy.)

Alex (to Daddy): Can you be happy at me?

Alex: Daddy, when I’m bigger, can I give my boy and girl a timeout, if they don’t listen?
Daddy: Yes, you can give them a timeout.
Alex: I’m gonna find out how old they are.


(Alex has been in bed for at least half an hour. Suddenly he talks to himself.)
Alex: One, two, three, four, five, pop!

Um, if there's one house...

(Daddy, Alex, and Claire return home from an excursion.)

Claire (to Mommy): I ride on the train.
Mommy: You did? Wow!
Claire: In Daddy lap.

Mommy: Tell me what you guys did.
Alex: Um we ride on the train at the mall… and we saw men putting on bricks… and we saw men painting… and we went on the bridge at the, the, kinda store, something, and, and, we came on home.


Alex: Can I jump over Grommie?
Mommy: No.


Alex: Mommy, can we have the orange chips today?
Mommy: The orange chips?
Alex: Yeah. With the tiger on it?

Alex: Yesterday Daddy, I saw a deer at Nana’s house. With brown dots, and no, and no horns, just ears.
Daddy: Wow!


(dinner)

Alex: Daddy, can I tell you a joke?
Daddy: Yes, Alex.
(Before he can continue, Alex accidentally bites his tongue and starts crying.)


(Alex washes his hands to get ready for bed.)
Alex: Towel, please.

Alex: I like lollipops.

Alex: I like milk because it’s cold.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: It’s like snow!

Alex: I like sitting with you, Daddy.


(The following remarks occurred during Mommy’s reading of The Little Engine That Could.)

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: Yeah, that’s Humpty Dumpty.

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: Yeah.

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: That’s Humpty Dumpty.

Claire: That Hutty Dumpty. That Hutty Dumpty.
Mommy: That’s Humpty Dumpty.


(Daddy is sitting on the floor, talking to Mommy, and Claire is climbing onto his back.)
Claire: I’m on you! I’m on you! I’m on you, Daddy!
(Claire gets ignored as Daddy is busy talking to Mommy.)
Claire (whispering in Daddy’s ear): I’m on you, Daddy.


(Mommy is tucking Alex in bed.)
Alex: Can we talk about things?
Mommy: You wanna talk about things?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: In the morning?
Alex: Now.
Mommy: Okay... What do you want to talk about?
Alex: Um, if there's one house...
(Pause .)
Mommy: If there's one house?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: What does that mean?
(Alex tries, unsuccessfully, to explain; Mommy tries, unsuccessfully, to answer. This goes on for a bit, and Alex gets upset.)
Mommy: I'm sorry, I don’t know what you’re trying to get me to say.
Alex: I told you.
Mommy (to Daddy): Have you had this conversation with him?
Daddy: No.
(Mommy continues to try to understand, but Alex just gets more frustrated.)
Alex: Um, if you don't know that answer, can we talk about something else?
Mommy: Okay. Last thing.
Alex: Okay, Mommy. If there's one ceiling, if, um, can we talk about if there's one ceiling?


(Alex has been lying quietly in his bed for about fifteen minutes. He shouts down the stairs for Daddy, so Daddy goes into Alex’s room.)
Alex: I didn’t tell you a joke when I hurt my tongue.
Daddy: Oh. You can tell me a joke in the morning.
Alex: Can I tell you a joke?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Where do the chickens live when they live in a different way… under the road?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: They live, um… in the closet.
Daddy: You’re funny.

That is Alex's song!

Alex: Can I tell you a joke, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, tell me a joke.
Alex: Where have the trees live when they’re with bugs?
Daddy: Where?
Alex: Can you say “I don’t know”?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: They live in our house!


(Daddy is helping Alex do bathroom stuff, and Alex wonders what will happen we he’s a daddy too.)

Alex: Can I help my boy do bathroom stuff?

Alex: Who’s gonna be the mommy?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Claire!

(Claire is being uncooperative with Mommy.)
Alex: Claire’s gonna be in trouble again.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Claire’s in trouble every night.
Daddy: Yeah.


Alex: Why do I have a straight foot, Daddy?
Daddy: What?
Alex: Why do I have a straight foot?
Daddy: You don’t.
Alex: Why don’t I?
Daddy: Why don’t you what?
Alex: Why don’t I have a straight foot?
Daddy (thoroughly confused): I don’t know, you just don’t.


Alex (singing): Alex is a big boy
Alex (singing): Claire is a big girl
Alex (singing): Claire is a big girl
Alex (singing): Alex is gonna be a daddy after he grows up
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: That's the end of my song.
Daddy: I like it. That's a good song.
(Pause.)
Claire (singing): That is Alex’s song!


(Alex and Claire are getting in the car to go to the grocery store.)

(Alex sees a jeep.)
Alex: That car’s like Sarge.

(Daddy is putting on Claire’s seatbelt. Recently, Daddy pinched her leg in the buckle.)
Claire: Don’t hurt me, ‘kay?
Daddy : Okay, I won’t. Do I hurt you?
Claire: With my buckle.
Daddy: I’m sorry.


(Daddy is driving Alex and Claire home from the grocery store.)
Alex: Mommy might be getting worried about us.


Alex: We’re having a nice snack.


(dinner)

Alex: This doesn’t look like a very good dinner.

Mommy (to Alex): Daddy likes my dinner.
Daddy: It looks like a very good dinner. It smells like a very good dinner.
Alex: It’s a really good dinner because – because it has sour cream.

Claire: I like honey mustard, I don’t like sour cream. I don’t like it.
Mommy: Yeah, you don’t like it. But maybe you will one day.
Claire: Yeah.

Alex: I don’t love Mommy. I don’t love Mommy. I don’t love you, Mommy. I’ll snap you.
Alex: Snap!

Alex: Mommy. I don’t love you, Mommy. You’re not fun. You're not great.
Mommy: Did I make you sad?
Alex: You’re making me mad, because you’re being mean to me. And I don’t like being mean.
Mommy: Sorry.

PBS Kids, dot org!

Claire: I like these PJs.

Claire: I had bath yesterday.

Claire: You have PJs.

Claire: This your PJs. And this your PJs.

Claire: Mommy have PJs.


(breakfast)

Claire: No ‘chool?

(Alex spills water on himself.)
Claire: My PJs not wet.

Claire: Dere a bug in here!


(Alex and Claire are playing with Daddy in the backyard.)

Alex: I wanna be high up in the swing because -- like a mountain or a tree!
Daddy: Oh? Good!
Alex: Or a mountain or a helicopter!

Claire (to Alex): There’s no school.
Alex: No, silly.
Claire (pointing at self): No. Dat Claire Bear!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire (pointing at Alex): That you. You a sheep!
(Claire cracks up.)

Claire: Watch me go under the tree.
(Claire ducks as she walks under a branch that's five feet off the ground.)

Alex: Wind makes me feel better.

(Alex plays in the toy car.)

Alex: Oh now, my wheel’s stuck, Claire, it got stuck. I have a flat tire now.

Alex: We need to fix it, Claire, can we fix it?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Yes we can!

(Alex sits in the toy car, and Claire has piled up toys all around him.)
Alex: Look at me in the car, I'm aaalll packed up!

Alex: Claire, can you get this in my, get that animal feed in my car?
Claire: ‘Kay.

Alex: We need to fix it, Claire! Can we fix it? Yes we can!


Alex: One day can you show me how to play baseball, and I can play baseball tomorrow? When I’m bigger?
Daddy: Yeah, that’ll be fun?

Alex: I don’t know how to play baseball.
Daddy: It’s okay, I’ll show you.
Alex: Okay.


(Alex and Claire are with Daddy at Three Lakes Park, which has a small aquarium.)

Alex: Look Daddy, it’s a orange river!

Claire: Log!
Alex: Yeah, and it has turtles on it. They’re lying all over it.
(Claire laughs.)
Claire: That funny!

Claire: Look, I like this! It acawium!

Claire: Back turtle. Back turtle, Daddy, back turtle.


(lunch)

Claire (to Mommy): I see turtles at the ‘quarium.
Mommy: You saw turtles at the aquarium?
Claire: Yeah. At the little aquarium.

Claire: Dis lunch, Daddy. Dis lunch. Dis dinner?
Daddy: This is lunch, Claire. Right?
Claire: No, it’s…
Alex: I want it to be keshnerkle.

Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes?
Alex: And at the aquarium we saw, pretend dinosaurs at the pretend dinosaur tank? It was a pretend dinosaur island.
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: Neat! What kinda dinosaurs were there?
Alex: Um, I don’t know which names there were.
Mommy: Oh.
Alex: I don’t’ remember their names.
Mommy: Oh.
Mommy: Well it sound like you had a lot of fun.

Alex: Claire likes watching (mumble). PBS Kids, dot org!
(Alex laughs.)

Alex: Alex likes mac and cheese, mumble and carrots. PBS Kids, dot org!
(Alex laughs.)

Alex: Daddy likes mac and cheese. PBS dot org!
(Alex laughs.)

Alex: Computer. Um… PBS kids, dot org.

Alex: May I have more honey mustard please? And more chicken nuggets.
(Pause.)
Alex: PBS Kids.


Mommy: That Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I do not like that Sam-I-Am!
Alex: That Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I don’t like that Sam-I-Am!
Mommy: Good job.
Mommy: Do you like green eggs and ham?
Alex: Do you like green eggs and ham? No I do not. I like different food!


Mommy: Tell me a joke, Alex.
Alex: Where do chickens live with bears in forestes?
Mommy: I don’t know, where do they live?
Alex: They live in yards!
(Mommy and Alex laugh.)

Come on, Claire, you keep me safe. I’m scared of that front door.

(Mommy is writing something.)
Alex: Are you writing what you wanna be for Halloween, Mommy?
Mommy (smiling): No, I’m addressing an envelope.

(Mommy gives Alex a kiss goodbye.)
Alex: You smell good, Mommy.

(Mommy is leaving for work.)
Claire: Bye-bye! Have fun you go to work!
Mommy: What?
Claire: Have fun going to work!
Mommy: Thank you!


Alex: Are you poopy, Claire? I smell something.
Alex: Let me check you.

Alex: No, I don’t poop anymore. I have underwear, Claire. I’m a big boy now, I’m three!
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: So I – big boys poop on the big boy potty. But, I don’t. I poop on my usual potty, but I can do it, I poop.


Alex: I’m tryin’ to make music on the house, because I did – because I’m tryin’ to make music, because music needs to come through to hear stuff.

Alex: No banging, Claire. We need to do some other stuff than banging, Claire.


Alex (to Daddy): I wanna talk to you some more.
Daddy: Okay, what do you want to talk about?
Alex: Can you tell me a story about the pig’s air conditioner flew away? And it broke down?


Alex (headed from the kitchen to the train room): I’m gonna call someone on that phone. Come on, Claire, you keep me safe. I’m scared of that front door.


(Alex and Claire come running into the kitchen and attack Daddy.)
Alex: Bonzaaaaiii!
Claire: Bonzaaaiiii!


Alex: Look at our house!
Daddy: I like it, I’m gonna take a picture of it!
Claire: Our house is pretty.


(lunch)

Claire (talking to her Zoe spoon): Don’t get your finger in your mouth!

I not crying. I happy.

(Mommy and Daddy are waking up Claire.)
Claire: Mommy.
Mommy: My girl.
Claire: I like you.


Claire (as she prepares to leave for school): I not crying. I happy.


(dinner)

Alex: I'm not ready for the preschool class, Daddy yet.
Daddy: You’re not?
Alex: No.
Daddy: Why not?
Alex: ‘Cause… I'm just not!


Mommy: Alex, what's our last name?
Alex: Alexander, uh… Alexander Gatewood.
Mommy: Yeah! Good job!

Alex: Daddy, what's your middle name?
Daddy: My middle name is Hunter.
(Alex laughs.)

Mommy: Alex, what's Daddy's first name?
Alex: Um, Pablo.


Alex: I'm gonna show you a trick, okay Claire?
Claire: Okay.
(Alex runs behind a chair.)
Alex: Where'd I go, Claire?!

Nice mans build nicely, because they're nice.

Alex: Nice mans build nicely, because they're nice.


Alex: Look at me, Mommy, I'm dressed like a monkey!
Mommy: You’re dressed like a monkey?
Alex: Yeah, am I?
Mommy: You’re cute.
Alex: Yeah I am, Mommy.

I'm dressed like a dog and a fire hat and a fire engine!

Alex: If you ask my teacher, that's the only idea I have.
Daddy: Ask your teacher what?
Alex: To not take me to preschool.

(Alex sees the PJs that Mommy picked out for him tonight.)
Alex: Oh, new PJs! The new PJs that I got from Uncle Ed and Uncle Kirk.

Alex: I'm gonna be a dog and a fire truck when I get on these!

(Alex is now wearing his new PJs.)
Alex: I'm dressed like a dog and a fire hat and a fire engine!

I don't wanna go to preschool.

(The following phrase was repeated several times throughout the morning.)
Alex: I don’t wanna go to preschool.


Alex (to Mommy): Underwear is called undie pants.


Mommy: Let go.
(Alex’s response is inaudible.)
Mommy: That's not my tummy.
Alex: What is it?
Mommy: It's my breast.
Alex: Oh.
(Pause.)
Alex: I don't have a breast.
Mommy: No, women have them.


(Mommy puts Alex down for nap, then goes downstairs. Alex shouts down the stairs.)
Alex: Mommy?!
Mommy (shouting back up the stairs): Yeah.
Alex: I didn't say all the door stuff.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: Play door frame, what is it?
Mommy: Door frame.
Alex: And play door knob, and play door frame, and play door, and bang on the door.
Mommy: Okay.

My head's too big, Mommy.

(Daddy is taking Alex and Claire to Petsmart. As they drive down the driveway, Claire sees the newspaper lying in the driveway.)
Claire: Need pick it up.
Daddy: That’s right, Claire.
Daddy: Maybe when we get home you can help me pick it up. And we can give Mommy her coupons.
Alex: Okay.
Daddy: That can be your job.
Claire (smiling): “Here you go, Mommy!” Say, “Here go, Mommy!”


(driving in the car)

Alex: I can't see anything Claire says.

Claire: My shoes is really big.


(Alex is looking at a densely packed goldfish tank at Petsmart.)
Alex: It’s like Circle Time.


(Alex sings a long nonsense song.)
Alex: Wasn't that a good song, Claire? It was about milk -- and water!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: It was about juice -- and strollers!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: It was about cakes -- and microphones!
(Alex laughs.)



(Mommy is having trouble taking off Alex’s shirt.)

Alex: My head’s too big, Mommy.

Alex: You see it’s so big.


(dinner)

Alex: It’s not heavy, Claire. I’ll show you how you can pick it up. I’ll show you how to pick up your pasta.

Mommy: What do you wanna be for Halloween, Alex?
Alex: I wanna be a cat.

Mommy: Alex, you can think about it, if you want. What you wanna be for Halloween. Okay?
Alex: Hmmm. I wanna be a chair!

Mommy: And Claire, you can think about about what you wanna be too.
Alex: You wanna be a bib, Claire?
Claire: No.
Mommy: Good answer, Claire.

Alex: Can I be a mouth for Halloween?
Mommy: Yeah. But you hafta think about it. And not keep changing your mind, okay?
Alex: Okay.
Alex: I think I'm gonna be a banana. I think I'm gonna be a banana.
Mommy: You wanna be a banana?
Alex: Yeah.
Claire: I want banana.
Mommy: We don't have bananas, Claire.
Alex: I was saying I wanted to be a banana, Claire. For Halloween. Not eat banana.

Alex (to Claire, upset): You made me sad.
Claire (smiling): Yeah.
Alex: You made me sad, that's not funny.
(Claire giggles.)
Alex: That's not funny!
(Claire giggles.)
Mommy (scolding): Claire.

Claire: I ate all these things.
Mommy: You did! Good job, Claire.
Alex: I did too.
Mommy: You guys had a good dinner.
Claire: I ate all these things. In my mouth.

What time are we gonna go to the beach house next year?

(Alex wakes up at 6 am.)
Alex: I'm poopy. My poop’s hurting me.


(Mommy, Daddy, Claire, and Alex are driving home from the beach.)

(Alex sees a lifeguard’s chair.)
Alex: That's a big chair. Did you see that big chair, Daddy?

(Claire sees her reflection in the window.)
Claire: I see me in my window. I see me.

Alex: We didn't go to school yesterday. We didn't go to school yesterday when we were at the beach house.
Mommy and Daddy: That’s right.
Alex: We’re in the forest!
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: But not really because it’s sunny.

Alex: What do monster trucks do?
Daddy: What do monster trucks do?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: I don’t know.
Daddy (to Mommy): What do monster trucks do?
Mommy: I don’t know, they drive in the dirt.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: They jump over cars.
Mommy: Oh yeah, they jump over cars.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: I don’t know. Do you know?
Alex: No.

Alex: What do seagulls eat?
Daddy: Um… they eat fish.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: Anything people feed them on the beach.
Alex: Sand?
Mommy: No, remember that boy feeding them pretzels?
Alex: Oh.
Alex: What else?
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: Maybe they eat jellyfish. I don’t know if they eat jellyfish.
Mommy: I don’t know.
Alex: Are those the swipers on that car?
Mommy: Yeah.

Alex: Do racing cars get gas too?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: When racing cars are in the gas station, they stop racing?
Daddy: That’s right.

(Mommy drives under a bridge.)
Alex: If Cat in the Hat would walk under that bridge, he’d bump his head, because he's really tall.

(Mommy drives through the tunnel.)
Alex: I like this tunnel.
Claire: Go underwater!

Claire: Truck, Mommy!
Mommy: Yeah, look at that truck!
Alex: Wow.
Claire: Truck, Ah-yah!

Claire: ‘Nother truck! Yay! ‘Nother truck.


(back at home)

Alex: Claire, we’re gonna play a game, okay?

Alex: Claire, you’re gonna stand over there, and I'm gonna bounce this bouncy ball. And when I say “hiiiii”, I'm gonna run away, and you’re gonna stay here.


Daddy: Claire, what did you do at the beach?
Claire: Um eat lunch.
Daddy: Eat lunch?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: What else?
Claire: Nuffing.


Claire (out of the blue): Uh go beach house.


(Daddy and Claire are playing while Mommy and Alex are going to pick up Grommie from the doggie hotel.)

Claire: Bye bye Daddy, I go in my Elmo house!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire bear!
Claire: Okay.
(Claire goes into the closet and closes the door behind her.)
(Silence. Time passes.)
(Claire comes out of the closet.)
Claire: I see Elmo!
Daddy: You saw Elmo?
Claire: Yeah!

Claire: Bye bye Daddy, I go in my Elmo house!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire bear!
Claire: I go see Elmo! Go see Elmo Grover!
Daddy: Okay!
(Claire goes back into the closet and closes the door behind her.)

(The game goes on for a while. A little later, Claire is in the closet again.)
(Claire opens the door and peeks her head out.)
Claire: I be back little while.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire closes the door again.)
(Silence. Time passes.)
(Clare comes out of the closet.)
Claire: Hi, Daddy!
Daddy: Hi, Claire Bear!
Claire: I see Elmo, and Grover!
Daddy: You did?
Claire: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Claire: I go in other door.
(Claire walks over to the pantry.)
Claire: Bye bye, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire Bear.
(Claire goes into the pantry and closes the door behind her.)

(A little later; the game has moved back to the closet.)
Claire: Bye bye, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye bye, Claire Bear!
(Pause.)
Claire: You come with me?
Daddy: You want me to come with you?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.
(Daddy goes into the closet with Claire. Claire closes the door with both of them inside.)
Claire: It dark in here. I turn light on.
(Claire turns on the stick-on light.)
(Pause.)
(Claire opens the door a crack and peeks outside.)
Claire: I see something.
Daddy: What do you see?
Claire: Mommy’s shirt.
Daddy: You see Mommy’s shirt?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire closes the door again.)
(Pause.)
(Claire opens the door.)
Claire: Daddy, be right back. Be right back.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire exits the closet and closes the door, leaving Daddy inside.)
Claire (shouting from outside the door): Be right back, Daddy!
Daddy: Okay!
Claire: Be right back!
(Claire opens the door.)
Claire: Be right back, Daddy!
Daddy: Okay!
(Claire closes the door again, and wanders off.)
(Time passes.)
(Claire comes back and stands outside the closed door.)
Claire: I back, Daddy!


(Alex puts a grocery bag on his head.)
Alex (giggling): I’m a bag.

Alex (chanting, with the bag still on his head): Bag Alex! Bag Alex!

Alex: Daddy, when I'm a bag, can you take a movie of it?


(dinner)

Mommy: Claire, what was your favorite part of the beach?
Claire: Noooo!
Alex: My favorite part of the beach was eating a cookie.
(Mommy laughs.)
Mommy: I thought your favorite part was going in the ocean.
Alex: Oh.
Alex: That was my favorite part too.

Alex (singing): If you’re happy and you know it don't eat people at the table!


(in the bath)
Alex: I wanna go back to the beach house.


(after bath)

Alex (shouting down the stairs to Mommy): Mommy! Claire peed!
(Mommy’s reply is inaudible.)
Alex: Come upstairs and see Claire’s pee!

(Claire shows Mommy her pee.)
Mommy: Good job, Claire Bear!
Claire: Get chocolate at breakfast!


(Alex is getting tucked into bed.)
Alex: What time are we gonna go to the beach house next year?

A big wave!

(Daddy and Alex are out in the ocean getting hit by big waves. Daddy is holding Alex.)

Alex (to Daddy): Look a different way.
(Daddy turns his head to face the beach, pretending to be unaware that a big wave is approaching.)
Alex (shrieking): Look, Daddy! Look!!

Alex: A big wave!

Alex: Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Alex: I’m cold.


(Alex and Claire open their presents – cookies – from Uncle Ed.)

Claire: Present!!
Daddy: Wow, look at that! Who gave that to you?
Alex: Uncle Ed.
Daddy: Did you say thank you?
Alex (quietly): Yeah.
Claire (jumping up and down): I said thank you!!

Daddy: What is it?
Claire: A ball!
Alex: I got a sailboat!

Claire: Uh eating beach balls.

Alex: We got new cookies!

Claire: I eat cookies, Daddy! I eat cookies!
Daddy: Yes you did!


(Claire and Alex are brushing teeth, taking turns using the stool.)
Alex: Can I get on the stool for a moment? I need to spit.


(bed time)
Alex: We’re gonna have a family breakfast.


(Alex and Claire are in bed.)

Alex: Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?
(Mommy goes in the bedroom to see what Alex is yelling about.)
Alex: Claire pooped.

(Claire says something quietly to Alex.)
Alex: Why do you call me Ah-yah?

Claire: You get uh water?
Alex: I don’t want to, I’m not thirsty.
Alex: If people are thirsty, they drink water.
Alex: Well, I don’t want to.
Alex: Sometimes at nap, I stop drinking, I don’t drink water, a lot.
Alex: You smell that smell Claire, that (inaudible)? You smell it?
Claire: No.
Alex: I do.
(Claire says something inaudible.)
Alex: Daddy?
Alex: Daddy?

(Daddy goes into the bedroom.)
Alex: Daddy, I smell something.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: Is it a skunk?
Daddy: No, it’s not a skunk.
Alex: I don’t like it.

Ah-yah don't like the beach.

(Alex and Claire are eating breakfast with Mommy and Daddy. Everyone else is sleeping.)

Claire: I don’t like the beach.
Claire (to Daddy): You don’t like the beach.
Daddy: I don’t like the beach?
Claire: You don’t like the beach. Ah-yah don’t like the beach. Mommy, Daddy, Ah-yah.

Claire (to Alex): You don’t like the beach.
Alex: I like the beach.
Claire: No.
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Claire: No!
Alex: Yeah!
Mommy: Shhhhhh!! People are sleeping. They don’t want to hear that.
(Pause.)
Claire (to Daddy, grinning): Ah-yah don’t like the beach.

Alex: Mommy, will you tell Claire I like the beach?

Claire: Where is Kirk? Where is Kirk?


(Claire is picking up seashells on the beach.)

Claire: I finding shells!

Claire: Look, Daddy!

Claire: You like this one, Daddy?

Claire: Another one!

Claire: I like shells!

(Daddy picks up a shell.)
Claire (admiringly): Wow!!
Daddy: I find one too!
Claire: Yay!

Claire: Uh show Grandma.

Claire: Lot and lot of shells.

Claire: Put in my bucket.


(Claire talks about going to the pool.)
Claire: Uh get squirted and I be sad.


(A wave messes up something Alex is building in the sand.)
Alex: Oh no! Time out, water!


(Alex is eating dinner after cleaning up from playing in the ocean.)
Alex: I feel really good, Daddy.

Mommy: I wanna know what your favorite thing was, at the beach.
Alex: Um, my favorite thing was when I was, going in the ocean, with Daddy!


(Alex and Claire are in bed.)

Claire: Is there something in your nose?
Alex: What?
Claire: Something in your nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Is there something in your nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Is there something in Daddy nose?
Claire: Is there something in Daddy nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Is there something in my mommy nose?
Alex: No.
Claire: Why?
Alex: Because they – we got all the crusties out already.

Alex: Can I tell you something? Can you not talk to me anymore?
Claire: Dadadadadadada. Adadada. Adadada. Adadada.
(Claire continues to babble.)

Alex (to Claire): Can you not talk to me, okay? Can you not talk to me? Claire, can you not talk to me?
Alex: I’m not gonna play with you after nap.
Claire (upset): Uh play with you!
Claire (increasingly upset, and increasingly faster): Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you! Uh play with you!
(Pause.)
Claire: Uh play with you.
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: Uh play with you!
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: Uh play with you!
Alex: I’m not.
Claire: Please?
Alex: No.
Claire: Please?
Alex: No.
Claire: Please?
Alex: No.
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
Claire: Please?
(Pause.)
Claire: Please?
(Extended silence.)
(Claire begins talking to herself.)


Alex (rapid fire): Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Mommy (coming into the bedroom): What?
Alex: Can you get the tissues if I need them?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Okay.
(Mommy gets the tissues for Alex.)
Mommy: Here you go, buddy. Where do you want them. Over here?
Claire (fussing): I don’t want them!
Alex: You don’t need them, Claire, it’s okay, you don’t have to have them.


(Claire says something quietly to Alex.)
Alex: You ate the fan?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: I don’t know what that means.
Claire: I ate the fan.
Claire (singsong): I ate the fan. I ate the fan.
Claire (singsong): I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan. I ate the fan.
Claire (loudly): I – ate – the – fan! I put it in the oven!


Alex: Mommy?
Mommy (shouting from the living room): What?
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Claire was not in her bed, but now she is.
Mommy: Okay.

I'm still sad 'cause Claire hit me with the airport.

(Claire and Alex are in bed, both waking up.)
Claire (to Alex): Uh tell you something.
Alex: What?
Claire: Uh tell you something.
Alex: What?
Claire: Uh tell you something.
Alex (frustrated): Tell me it!


Alex: I’m still sad ‘cause Claire hit me with the airport.


Kirk: Why are you sad?
Alex: Because when I was sleeping, Claire hit me with my little airport toy.


(Alex and Claire are getting ready for bed.)

Alex: The aquarium was pretty cool, wasn’t it?

Alex: My favorite things were the submarine, the mirrors, and the mouth I was in.

(Daddy gives Claire a kiss goodnight.)
Claire: I need hug.
Daddy: Okay, hug.
(Daddy gives Claire a hug.)
Claire: Thank you.

I choose no squirting me. That's my choice.

(Daddy builds an Alex face on the beach. A wave comes and washes it away.)
Alex: Oh! Poor Alex! He died.


(Alex is playing in the pool with Aunt Sheridan and his cousins.)
Alex: I choose no squirting me. That’s my choice.


(Claire and Alex have gone to bed, in the same room. Claire is talking a lot, which bothers Alex.)

Alex (to Claire): All my cousins when they gave me hugs, they told me to sleep well, so, I’m taking’ a rest for Daddy.

Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Alex: What do you need? Oh, Claire.
(Alex lets out an exasperated sigh.)
Alex: I’m tired of this. I’m done.

Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.
Claire: I need something, Ah-yah.

(About twenty minutes later: both kids have been quiet for a while.)
Alex: What did you need before, Claire?
Alex: What did you need before, Claire?
Alex: Can you tell me, please? What did you need before?
Alex: What did you need before, Claire?

I love it!

(Daddy is changing Claire’s diaper. Claire hands Daddy the diaper cream.)
Claire: There you go, Daddy.
Daddy: Thank you.
Claire: I a big helper, you.


(Daddy and Claire go into the living room. No one else is awake yet.)
Claire: Where all our cousins?
Daddy: They’re sleeping.
Claire: Sleeping in there?
Daddy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Claire: Where Grandpa?
Daddy: He’s sleeping.

Claire: Not watching TV. Not watching TV, there. Our cousins not – not watching that TV.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Yeah.

Claire: Aunt Sheridan not watching TV too.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Aunt Sheridan – Aunt Sheridan wayyy. Sleeping in that room, Daddy.

(Alex joins Daddy and Claire in the living room.)
Alex: It’s a empty room in here.
Daddy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: The two days, there were people out here. They weren’t sleeping.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I can’t play because I’m sick.

(Alex lies down on the couch.)
Alex: If people wanna sit on this couch, I’ll tell them that I’m sick.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And I can’t get up.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: When my cousins wake up.

(Claire is playing blocks.)

Claire: I found a blue square!

Claire (to Daddy): Uh make a road, with me? Uh make a road? Uh make a road, with me?

Alex: I’ll show you how to make a road, okay Claire?
Alex: For one minute because Claire, I’m sick.
Claire: Okay.

(Claire hands out blocks.)
Claire: This for me.
Claire: This for you.
Claire: This for me.
Claire: This for me.

Claire: I playing blocks, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: With Ah-yah.
Alex: But I can’t play, because I’m sick, Claire. My nose is stopped up. And I’m coughing a lot.
Alex: One more.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: That’s how you make a road!
Alex (returning to the couch): I’m gonna lie back, okay Claire?

Daddy: I’m sorry you’re sick, Alex.
Alex: I’m sorry I can’t play, Claire.

Claire: Look my road! Daddy. Look – it’s really big! Really big!
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: It’s really long, Claire. It looks like a train track!
Claire: It’s a train track. Train track.

Claire: Yellow road. Look, Daddy, yellow road. Yellow road, and green road, and – look! Look, my road!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: It’s really strong.. it’s really strong, Daddy, it’s really strong… it’s really strong.
Claire (jumping up and down): I love my – I love my track! I love my track!

Claire: I love juice! I love it! I love juice!

(Daddy is putting on his shirt.)
Claire: I like that shirt!
Daddy: Thank you!
Claire: I love it!

Alex: Did the temperature say I’m sick?

(Claire is playing cupcakes.)
Claire: Foo on it, Daddy. Foo on it.
Claire (blowing out the candle): Foooo!


Mommy: We’re not gonna take those to the beach, Claire. We’re gonna take beach toys.
Claire: Beach toys! I love beach toys!


(on the beach)
Claire (repeatedly): Uh go inside!


(Claire notices a broken deck chair under the deck.)
Claire: Dat chair under there?
Daddy: Oh, that chair’s broken, isn’t it?
Claire: Get some – tape.


Claire: Uh play cupcakes, Daddy.


Alex: When the wave got me, it made the sand gooey. I made footprints in the gooey sand.

(Alex takes a warm shower outside the beach house.)
Alex: This is the best shower ever.


Alex: I like to sleep with Elly on the bottom and Bobo on the top.

Wwwow!! We at – at the beach!

Alex: We’re gonna have a busy day. We’re gonna have a lot of fun.


(Alex and Daddy are playing in the pool.)
Alex (to Daddy): When I squirt you, you make funny faces and fall in the water, that makes me laugh.


(After getting out of the pool, Alex is cold.)
Claire (to Daddy): I – I – I not cold. I – I – I got dress.


Alex: I really like that bed. I really like my bed.


Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Alex: Why can we stay at the beach house every day?


Alex: I like to sleep at the beach house with my cozy blanket.


Alex: Does the music truck have ice cream in it?


Claire: You sit beside me? Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, I’m gonna sit beside you.
Claire: You have food?
Daddy: Yeah, I have food.


(Claire walks on the sand.)
Claire: I walk on sand!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: I like uh like a walk on sand!


(back in the beach house)

Daddy (to Claire): Daddy went swimming.
Claire: Yeah. Swim and swim and swim and swim and swim!

(Claire looks out the window, at the beach.)
Claire: That the beach?
Daddy: Yeah, that’s the beach!
Claire: Wwwow! We at – at the beach!

(Claire sees Alex and Grandpa walking back to the house.)
Claire (excited): Dat Ah-yah! Ah-yah coming in!

Claire: Ah-yah coming in! Ay-yah!

Daddy: Claire, what did you do on the beach?
Claire: Um… I swim. I swim, Daddy.
Daddy: You swam? What else did you do? On the beach, Claire bear?
Claire: Um… just nuffing. Just nuffing.

Daddy: Claire, if a tree falls in the forest, and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Claire: Yeah. Fall down. Tree fall down, storm coming.

Claire (watching the ceiling fan): Fan going now! Fan going.
Daddy: Yeah. Which way’s it going?
Claire: Fan going!


(getting in bed)
Alex: I like the beach house.
Daddy: Yeah. Why is that?
Alex: Because it’s fun.
Daddy: Good!
Mommy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: Because there’s a TV in this room.

Saturday, and we go to the beach!

(Daddy wakes up Alex.)
Daddy: Do you know what today is?
(Pause.)
Alex: Saturday, and we go to the beach!

Alex: Will Uncle Ed and Uncle Kirk be there?
Daddy: Yeah, they'll be there.
Daddy: Do you want them to be there?
Alex: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: Will Uncle… Gring be there?
Daddy: Uncle who?
Alex: Uncle Gring.
Daddy: Who's Uncle Gring?
Alex: Um… who's the cousin who was at Grandma's house last time?
Daddy: Oh, Uncle Ray. No, Uncle Ray won't be there.
Alex: Because I don't want him to be a monster.
Daddy: Okay, well he won't be there.


Alex (to Daddy): Is there a special -- I wanna play a special thing with you. And you can not work on your computer.


(Daddy and Claire are driving Grommie to the doggie hotel.)

Claire: Dere another bridge!

Claire: Bumpy road.
Daddy: Yeah, it is a bumpy road, isn’t it?
Claire: (mumble) road. Fix it. Go really fast.
(Claire says something inaudible.)
Claire: Man fix uh road.

Claire (pointing excitedly): Bus! On Ah-yah side!


(Daddy and Claire are driving back home, after leaving Grommie at the doggie hotel.)

Claire: Why we leave Grommie?

Claire: I like Grommie.

Claire (pointing): That gas store, gas!


(lunch)

Alex: I wanna go on the beach at the beach house.

Alex: I really like -- I really like playing in the sand.

Mommy: You know it's a long drive to the beach, okay?
Alex: 'Kay. I got some TV shows.

Claire: Uh play in sand.

Alex: We'll tell Grampa if -- that we wanna go on the beach. He might say no.
Mommy: I don't think he will.

(Claire notices a picture of Alex at the beach, on the calendar.)
Claire: Ah-yah picture! Ah-yah in the sand! Look -- Ah-yah in the sand at you house, there. That you.


(Daddy, Mommy, Alex, and Claire are in the car on the way to the beach.)

Alex: Why do trees need to be in forestes?

Alex: Is the beach house in the forest?
Mommy: No, but we go through the forest on the way to the beach house.
Alex: I would like it if we were at the beach house.
Mommy: I would too.

Claire: Beach, really far away.
Daddy: Yeah, it is far away.
Claire: I talking to Mommy.
Daddy: Oh, sorry.

Claire: My car black. My car black. My car black.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: I talking to Daddy.
Mommy: Well maybe you should address the person you’re talking to.

Alex: Tell me when we’re there.

Claire: Where Grommie? Where Grommie go?
Alex: Grommie’s at the doggie hotel.
Claire: I talking to Daddy.

But you can't grow up like a sheep. How can you grow up like a sheep?

(Claire is talking in her sleep, during a bad dream.)
Claire (upset): I want my waffle back! I want my waffle back!

(Daddy wakes up Claire.)
Claire (upset): I want my waffle back.
Daddy: You want your waffle back?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Who took your waffle?
Claire: Ah-yah.


(Claire says her usual as she walks down the stairs.)
Claire: Part of the railing.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: More part of the railing down there.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I don’t wanna go to school. I don’t wanna go to school.
Daddy: But you like school. If you don’t go today you won’t get to go for a long time.
Alex: I don’t wanna go there because I love you.
Daddy: Because you love me?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: That’s why I don’t wanna go to school.


Alex: I ate cheese pizza.
Daddy: Yummy!
Claire: I ate pizza at ‘chool.
Daddy: You ate pizza too?
Claire (very enthusiastically): I like pizza! I like applesauce! And geen beans!


Claire (handing Daddy his Blackberry): Here you go, Daddy. Here go. Here your – Blackberry.

Claire: I waiting! I waiting! I waiting!


(Claire notices Daddy’s yard shoes, which he wears to mow the lawn.)
Claire: That’s your – mawmower – mawmower shoes.
Daddy: That’s right! How’d you know that?
Claire: That’s your mawmower shoes.


(Daddy is dialing Mommy on the speakerphone.)
Alex: Who’s that?
Daddy: It’s Mommy if she picks up.
Claire: Uh see – uh hello to Mommy.
(The phone starts ringing on the other end.)
Claire: Hi Mommy!

(Mommy is on the phone.)
Claire : Hi uh go to work, Mommy, uh go to work?
Mommy: Yeah, I’m at work.
Alex: Bye!
Mommy: ‘Kay, but I’m coming home right now.
Alex: ‘Kay.
Mommy: ‘Kay.
Alex: See you later!
Mommy: Okay, bye!
Claire: Bye! Bye Mommy!
Mommy: Bye, Claire. Bye, Alex.
Alex: Bye.

(Daddy’s hair is wet.)
Claire: Your head – your head – your head, is, black!
Daddy: My head’s black?
Claire: Yeah!

(Claire is removing her socks.)
Claire: Look. Uh pull, over heel! Uh pull over heel, Daddy!
(Claire pulls her sock over her heel and off.)
Daddy: Yay Claire, you did it!


Claire: Beach house – beach house – beach house in three minutes.
Daddy: Beach house in three minutes?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: No, we’re not going today.
Claire: Why?

Claire: Uh go beach house – uh go beach house, now. Uh go beach house, now.
Daddy: You wanna go to the beach house now?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: No, we’re not going yet. We have to pack first, and we’re going tomorrow.
Claire: Why?

(Claire brings Daddy a cupcake.)
Claire: That yours. Here go, Daddy, that yours. It yummy, Daddy. It yummy.
Daddy: Thank you, Claire!

(Claire brings Daddy another cupcake.)
Claire: It yummy. It yummy.
Daddy: Mmm, it is yummy!

Alex: I want a cupcake, Claire!
Claire: No, dat all the cupcakes. Dat all.

Alex: Claire. You’re a monster.
Claire (crying): No, I not a monster!
Daddy: You’re not a monster, Claire.

(Alex is using the DVD remote as a magic wand.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Go away, Claire.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Claire come back.
(Claire runs back.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Claire go away.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Claire come back.
(Claire runs back.)

(Alex gives the DVD remote to Claire.)
Alex: Can you use this, Claire, to make me go away?

Claire: Go! Go away!
Alex: No, say Abracadabra.
Claire: Abbadabba!
Alex: And then, when I come back, you need to say Abacadabra too.
(Alex runs off.)
Claire: Come back! Abbadabba come back!
(Alex runs back.)

Alex: Abracadabra! Claire go away.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Claire! Please come back! Abracadabra, Claire come back.
(Claire runs back.)

Claire: Abbadabba! Go away, Daddy.
(Daddy runs into the other room. Claire follows.)
Alex: No Claire! You’re not supposed to go away.
Alex (to Daddy): Claire’s not doing it right.

Alex: Abracadabra! Claire go away.
(Claire runs into the other room.)
Alex: Abracadabra! Daddy go away.
(Daddy runs into the other room. Claire laughs hysterically.)

Alex: Let’s go shopping, Claire.

(Mommy comes home from work.)
Alex: Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here! Mommy’s here!
Claire (to Mommy): I play shopping!

Claire: Mommy home, Daddy. Mommy home.


Alex (singing): I’m gonna go to the beach...
Alex (singing): On, Saturday, not on Friday…
Alex (singing): But I really wanna go to the beeeach


Alex: I really wanna go to the beach.
Daddy: I know you do.


(dinner)

Alex's English muffin: Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
Alex: Claire, can you -- can your English muffin say "hi"?

Alex: Claire, you're a boy!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: I not a boy. I Claire!
Alex: Claire, do you know what people are?
Alex: Some people are boys, and some people are girls. So you're a girl.
Claire: Yeah!

Claire: Watch, Mommy. Go – beach – af – ter – lunch.
Claire: Watch, Daddy. Go – beach – af – ter – lunch.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I wanna be a sheep when I grow up.
Daddy: A sheep?
Alex: Yeah. And a daddy. A daddy sheep.

Alex: But you can't grow up like a sheep. How can you grow up like a sheep? You can't grow up like different things.
Daddy: That’s right.

Daddy: Claire, did you express yourself at school?
Claire: No. I had (mumble) and green beans and peaches.
Alex: And what else?
(Claire doesn't respond.)
Alex: What else did you have, Claire?
(Claire doesn't respond.)
Daddy: Did you have snack?
Claire: Yeah, snack.
Alex: Do you want to know what I had today? I'm gonna tell you.
Alex: First, I had fresh fruit, and, a graham cracker.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And I had green beans, pizza, and… I don't know what the other one was. Probably something. But I don't know what it was.

Abba Jabba.

Claire: You take a shower?
Mommy: Yeah, I took a shower.
(Claire touches Mommy's wet hair.)
Claire: It's cold!

Alex: Daddy, I want to cut at school.
Daddy: You want to cut at school?
Alex: Yeah. So can you tell Miss Spivey I want to cut at school?

(Alex is watching the PBS Kids ad with the "reading is fun" machine.)
Alex: That's a machine, Daddy. That's the letter machine. And then, it's taking them in the truck for them to go to work.


Alex: Claire, make me 'sappear.

Alex: Daddy, can you make me 'sappear?
(Daddy pretends that Alex has disappeared.)

Claire: Do me, Daddy.
(Daddy pretends that Claire has disappeared.)

Alex: Can you make me go somewhere else, Daddy?
Daddy: I don't know how to do that.
Alex: Can you say… 'cadabra?
Daddy: Abracadabra!
(Alex runs off.)

Alex: Make me 'sappear, Claire. Say "abracadabra."
Claire: Abba Jabba.


(Daddy comes home from work. Alex and Claire are eating dinner.)
Alex: The pizza man brought us pizza and peaches!

Alex (to Mommy): I like – I like shopping with you.
Mommy: Aw, I like shopping with you too.
Claire (to Mommy): I like shopping with you, too.

Claire: Take Grommie to the doggie store.
Mommy: Yeah, we took Grommie to the doggie store.
Claire: Cut his nails.
Mommy: That’s right, to get his nails cut!
Claire: Went home.
Mommy: And we went home.
Claire: Then go to the grocery store.
Mommy: Good job, Claire!
Claire: Then went Callum house. Then went Callum house!
Mommy: Okay, now you’re makin’ stuff up.

Alex: Mommy gave me some medicine.
Daddy: Oh, good.
Alex: And it made my leg feel better. And I ate some cheese, and it made my leg feel better too.

Claire: And go to Callum house.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Yeah. And… play toys.
Daddy: Toys.
Alex: We didn’t go to Callum’s house, we didn’t go to Callum’s house, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.


Mommy: Hey Claire? Do you wanna go upstairs now –
Claire: In two minutes!
Mommy: – or in two minutes?
Mommy: Okay, two minutes.


(Alex is brushing his teeth. Daddy’s making a funny face in the mirror.)
Alex: Stop makin’ a funny face.
(Daddy makes a different funny face.)
Alex (upset): Make your regular face!
(Daddy makes yet another funny face.)
Alex (upset): Make the face you had before!

A popsicle course, yeah. That's what Mommy calls it.

Alex: Daddy, can you help us make a apple course?

(A little later.)
Alex: Daddy, come make our obstacle course.
Daddy: I thought we were gonna make a apple course.
Alex: A apple-stacle course, I can say that.
Daddy: Or we could make a popsicle course.
Alex: A popsicle course, yeah. That's what Mommy calls it.

(Jumping around in the playroom, Alex bangs his elbow on the bookshelf, hard.)
Alex (screaming): It’s really bad! It’s really bad!

(Claire takes off her sticker.)
Claire: I don't like this sticker. I don’t like this sticker.
Daddy: You don’t like that sticker?
Claire: Yeah.

How do you make a tree?

Daddy: Alex, if you had three hundred dollars, and you gave me two hundred dollars, how many dollars would you have?
Alex: Um, three.
Daddy: And what would you buy with it?
Alex: A computer and a violin.

Alex: I was smelling the tomatoes that we got from Mommy’s garden.
Daddy: Oh, what do they smell like?
Alex: They smell like -- they smell like my suit. My swimming suit.


(dinner)

Claire: I like Elmo fork. I like Elmo fork.
Claire (singing): I, like, Elmo fork!
Claire: I like Elmo fork, Daddy.
Daddy: I know you do.

Claire: I want more, Daddy. I want more, Daddy.
Claire (smiling): May I, please.

Claire (holding a forkful of spaghetti): Uh big one. Big one. Big ‘ghetti.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Big ‘ghetti, Daddy!
Claire: Yeah.

Alex: When you build things, why do you need dirt?
(Daddy explains why, when you build things, you need dirt.)
Alex: How do you make a tree?
(Daddy explains how you make a tree, mostly by paraphrasing The Carrot Seed.)
Daddy: And then one day…
Mommy: A carrot came up!
(Alex and Claire laugh.)
Claire (pretending to turn a page): Uh – other page – (mumble) – the end!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: End of story. End of story.

Claire (her hand circling her plate): Read this. Round the circle. Round the bend.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: Drive on my plate.
Daddy: Who drives on your plate?
Claire: Uh, my hand.

Claire: Uh more spaghetti! Pleeeease. May uh – may I, please, Mommy.
Mommy: Good job, Claire!


Alex: Well, you’re Charlie Brown!
Daddy: Am I?
Alex: I’m Linus.
Alex: And Claire’s Lucy.
Claire (laughing): I’m not Lucy. I’m Claire.
Alex: You’re Lucy. And Mommy’s Pepper Patty.

Claire: No I not Lucy -- Lucy.
Alex: I’m Linus, Lucy. Lucy.
Claire (laughing): No!

(Alex is playing “running”. Daddy tells Alex that he doesn’t want to run.)
Alex: Can Grommie run, ‘cause Grommie can be the daddy, and I can be the Alex, and Claire can be the Claire, and Mommy can be the mommy?

Claire (talking to herself): I fall, on floor, and get kiss, and then, have band-aid on? Daddy?


Alex: Let’s be a baby, Claire. Can we pretend we’re a baby?

Bye, everybody, I'm going to the pretend beach!

(breakfast)

Claire: Daddy, I ate all my waffles, and my 'nanas, and my sausage.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Look, Daddy!


(Alex and Mommy are discussing what to take to the beach.)
Alex: Maybe we could take some chocolate, if we poop on the potty.


Alex (riding on his toy car): Bye, everybody, I'm going to the pretend beach!

Alex: Can you go to the beach with me Daddy, and then we can wait for Mommy?
Daddy: Okay, where's the beach?
Alex: The beach is somewhere else, a long way, so we have to bring a TV show.


(dinner time)

Claire: Elmo fork! I like Elmo fork, I like it. I like Elmo fork.

Alex: Daddy, today, when Claire didn't know how to get the yogrit out, I gave it to her, and I rolled it up. I feed her.