Animal did something now! Haha.

Daddy: Are you not gonna eat your sausage?
Alex: No I'm makin' cars with it.

Alex: I don't like Miss Spivey, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah? Why not?
Alex: Because I… just don't like her.
Daddy: Is she not nice?
Alex: I don't like her and she's... not nice.

Alex: You can feel the butter on your waffle. Can't you, Claire?

Claire (to Daddy, getting down from her stool): I want big jump. I need, two hands.

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Um, what comes after Thursday?
Daddy: Friday.
Alex: What comes after Friday?
Daddy: Saturday.
Alex: Oh! And then what comes after Saturday?
Daddy: Sunday.
Alex: Sunday!
Alex: Today is what. Daddy. What -- what is today.
Daddy: Today is Thursday.
Alex: Oh. And then… Friday. Then… Saturday. Okay, that's it.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Then we stay at home. You stay at home, Alex stay at home, Claire stay at home, Mommy stay at home, and Grommie stay at home.
Daddy: That’s right.


Daddy: What did you do at school today?
Claire: I ate food and sandwich.
Daddy: You ate food and sandwich?
Claire: Yeah. Bread sandwich.
Daddy: What kind of sandwich?
Claire: A bread sandwich, I like it. I like it.
(Claire mutters something about chicken.)
Claire: I don't want my chicken, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: I don't want my chicken.

Mommy (to Alex): Hey. How did you get so cute?
Alex: Because Mommy and Daddy made it.


Alex: Look.
(Alex closes one eye.)
Alex: Arrr!
Mommy: What are you doing?
Alex: I was being a pirate.


(dinner)

(Claire asks for butter for her toast.)
Mommy: You have butter. It melted.
Alex (to Claire): You know butter melts. Like snow. Snow melts, and butter melts!

Mommy: If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
Claire: Meee! I would be a dog.

Mommy: What about you, Alex?
Alex: I would wish, I would be, a cat.
Mommy: You'd be a cat?
Alex: Yeah.

Alex: I wish that I would walk, on, a roof.
Mommy: Okay.

Alex: And I wish I could be a banana, for um, Halloween.
Alex: I could be a banana for Halloween.
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: Instead of Buzz Lightyear.
Mommy: Is that what you want?
Alex: Maybe Buzz Lightyear instead.

(Alex tells Claire a joke.)
Alex: What would happen if a pig was in, uh, was in our yard? Can you say “I don’t know”?
Claire: I don’t know.
Alex: Say I don't know.
Claire: I donna know.
Alex: He would pop on the ceiling!
(Alex laughs.)
(Claire laughs.)

Alex: Tell me a joke.
Claire: You a pig?
Alex: No, you tell me, can you tell me if a animal did something?
Claire: Animal did something now! Haha.
Alex (upset): That's not how you do a joke!

Alex: Um Claire, I'll show you how to say a, a joke okay?
Claire: No.
Alex: What, you say it like this, um --
Claire (angrily): Don't do that, don't! No no no.
Alex: But you don't know how, Claire, you don't know how.
Claire (angrily): I don't know how.
Alex: No, you don't know how.
Claire (angrily): I don't know how, Ah-yix.


Alex (out of the blue): Are pyramids real or pretend?
Mommy: Pyramids? They're real.
Alex: What do pyramids look like?


Alex: Daddy, can you show me how to count?
Daddy: You know how to count.
Alex: But I wanna count to twenty.
Daddy: Okay. Let's start at one.


(getting ready for bed)

Alex: I'm a instrument.
Daddy: What kind of instrument are you?
Alex: Um, a tuba.

(Alex sings a Cat in the Hat song.)
Alex (singing): I'm a pump!
Alex (singing): One tie-nie-nee hump.
Alex (singing): Nobody loves meeeee…
Alex (singing): One tie-nie-nee hump!
Alex (singing): I'm a pump.

Claire: I pick… Uhjellygit Pool.