And that’s pretty much all.

(Daddy wakes up Claire.)

Claire: Really really big poop.

Claire: I uh lie on Juju uh Mallory.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Juju Mallory be really really warm.


Dora: Say “map!” Say “map!”
Claire: Mack!
Dora: Louder!
Claire: Maaaaack!

Alex: Maybe Science Kid likes his door open when he’s sleeping, like me.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Because when my door’s closed when I’m sleeping, I can’t see.

(Mommy is leaving for work.)
Claire: Hug, Mommy!
Alex: A hug! A hug!
Claire: Uh I want hug too and kiss!


(Daddy picks Claire up from school.)
Daddy: What did you do at school today, Claire?
Claire: I ate all my sausage.
Daddy: You ate all your sausage?
Claire: Yeah, I ate all my sausage. I want more.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: I ate fruit. Not my egg.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire: I don’t like my egg. I don’t like my egg.

(Daddy and Claire get home from school.)
Claire: We have new brushes upstairs.

Claire (pointing to the closet): That Juju house there.
Daddy: That’s Juju’s house?
Claire: Yeah. This is Juju house right over here.
Daddy: Oh, okay.

Daddy: Okay, let’s go upstairs and use your new brush.
Claire: We got new brushes at the grocery store, Daddy. We got new brushes at the grocery store.

(Claire gets ready for bed.)
Claire: Uh sit down and take my shoes off.

(Claire puts her shoes away.)
Claire: Uh put it right there. Under my shelf.

(Claire gets in position for diaper change.)
Claire: Uh-oo bump my head. On my bed.

(Alex is in gym class, so instead of waving bye-bye to Alex before bed, Claire waves bye-bye to Alex’s empty room.)
Claire: Bye-bye, Elly and Bo – bye-bye, chair and pillow.


(Claire plays with trains and toys in her bed during nap time.)

Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go over my bed now.
(Pause.)
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go over my bed now.
(Pause.)
Claire: You can! Go over my bed!
(Pause.)
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go over my bed now. You can’t.
Claire’s train: You’re blocking my way! You’re blocking my way! I can’t get by, Stickers! You’re on my bridge! You’re on my bridge.
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t drive on my bridge now.

Claire: You blocking my way!

Claire: You’re blocking my way! You’re blocking my way! I can’t get by!
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go on my bridge now. You can’t go on my bridge now.
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go on my bridge now. (mumble mumble) by.

Claire: Uh get by door.
Claire (in a mean voice): You get by, dat, door.
Claire: (mumble) cry. (mumble) cry.
Claire: Uh door again.
Claire: Thank you.
Claire: Here go, ‘Igi.
(Pause.)
Claire: Here go, ‘Igi.
(Pause.)
Claire: Come on, ‘Igi!

Claire: My light on!


(Alex and Claire help Mommy make burritos.)

Mommy: Okay, just spread it around. And if you need help, just let me know.
Alex: Okay.
Alex (whiny): I need help!

Alex: That looks nice, Claire.

Alex: It’s squishy, Mommy.


(dinner)

Alex: Carrots, yummy!

Alex: Let’s do the dinner game!

Mommy: I like sour cream.
Claire: I like sour cream too. I like sour cream too.
Mommy: You like sour cream?
Claire: Yeah. And you like sour cream.
Mommy: Yeah, I like sour cream.
Claire (to Daddy): And you like sour cream. And you like sour cream. And you like sour cream.
Daddy: Yeah, I like sour cream.
Claire: And Alex like sour cream.

(Alex is playing tonight’s dinner game.)

Alex: I have something that in my hand, that’s white, and yellow, and Claire eats it every day.
Mommy: White and yellow? And Claire eats it every day?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: Is it… a banana?
(Pause.)
Alex: Yeah!!

(Alex holds a carrot in his hand.)
Alex: I’m gonna do it for real now, ‘kay. I have something in my hand, that’s orange!
(Alex pauses for a millisecond.)
Alex: It’s a carrot!

(Alex grabs a handful of carrots.)
Alex: I’m gonna do another, I’m gonna do, one, two, three, four, five, carrots! In my hand.

Daddy: Did you make those cookies for your friends?
Alex: Yeah I just put them on the pan, that’s all.
Daddy: Oh, okay.
Alex: It’s short, cookie, time.

Daddy (to Claire): If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Claire: Yeah. It says “Thunder!”
(Daddy laughs.)
Daddy: It says thunder?
Claire: Yeah. It says “Thunder! Boom, boom!”


Daddy: Do you like feeling sad, or do you like feeling happy?
Alex: Feeling happy.
Daddy: What things make you feel happy?
Alex: Um, if Claire didn’t hit me.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: What else?
Alex: If Claire didn’t push me.
Daddy: Yeah?
(Pause.)
Alex: If Claire doesn’t… if Claire doesn’t bite me.
Alex: And that’s pretty much all.


(Daddy reads Dr. Seuss’s “McElligot’s Pool” to Alex and Claire.)

Claire (“counting” a body of water pictured in the book): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!
Alex: Claire, can I show you how to count please?
Claire: No.

(Alex points to a picture.)
Alex: What’s that?
Daddy: That’s a fish with a parachute.
Claire: Say “shake, shake, shake!”


(Bed time. Although Mommy and Daddy have explained repeatedly that Alex did not get a timeout in his gymnastics class earlier in the day, Alex is still a little upset because he felt like he did. Daddy is now trying to cheer him up.)
Daddy: Next time you go to gym class, you can say, “No timeouts for me! That’s my choice.”
Alex: Okay.
Daddy: And then you can laugh like this.
(Daddy laughs hysterically.)
(Pause.)
Alex: I don’t think I can do that.