Why does the chicken use a tiger phone?

Claire: Look, Daddy. I color on the pink paper.
Daddy: Oh, I like it!
Claire: It's a really good road.
Daddy: Yeah, it's a good road!
Claire: It's a tummy, Daddy.
Claire: This is a tummy. Tummy.
Daddy: A tummy?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Oh, I like it.

Claire: I'm gonna draw a hand, Daddy.
Claire: Two hands, Daddy.
Claire: I'm making hands for Daddy.
Claire: Mommy, I'm making hands for Daddy.
Mommy: Neat, Daddy's gonna like it!
Claire: Yeah. I make my hand.
Claire: My other hand.
Claire: And mouth.
Claire: Look. I drawing my mouth. Look, Mommy, I drawing my mouth.
Mommy: Oh yeah!

Claire: Look. I draw my mouth and my hand and my other hand.
Mommy: I like it.


(Mommy is talking to Nana on the phone.)
Claire (to Mommy): What are you talking about?


(Claire is covering her baby with a blanket.)
Claire: Good night!
Claire: I love you!

Mommy: You're a good little mommy.
Claire: I not a little mommy. I'm Claire!


Claire: It's time to wake up.
Daddy: It's time to wake up?
Claire: It's seven. It's seven.
Daddy: It's seven? Time to wake up?
Claire: Yeah, it's seven. It's seven.


(Claire and Mommy are going to the library.)
Claire: Bye, Daddy, I going to the library!


Daddy: Alex, what did one taco shell say to the other taco shell?
Alex: He said: “Why did that tree fall down? I’ll go run through the forest!”

Alex: Mommy? Why did the cup knock down the peaches?
Mommy: Why?
Alex: Because he bumped the soda!

Alex: Daddy? Why does the chicken use a tiger phone?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Because he wants the elephant forest!

Alex: Daddy, why does hammer say, “Screwdriver, go away, I don't like you!”?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Because he bumps his head!

Daddy: Why did the hammer get a time out?
Alex: I don’t know.
Daddy: Because he hit the nail on the head!

Alex: Daddy? Why did the knife hit the other computer?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Because the hammer got a time out!

Sitting is a good way to rest.

Alex: Do you wanna rest with me, Daddy? Do you wanna rest with me?
Daddy: Yeah, I wanna rest with you.
Claire: I sit right here.
Alex: Sitting is a good way to rest.

Claire: Bye bye Daddy, I'm -- going to my home.

(Daddy and Alex are lying on the sofa.)
Daddy: I'm tired.
Alex: Me too.

It really really pretty!

(Daddy is frustrated with Claire.)
Alex: Claire's frustrating you, right?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And I'm not!
Daddy: Yeah.


(Alex and Claire come home from school.)
Daddy: Hi, buddy.
Alex: Claire wants to get some money from you.


(Alex plays in his bed during nap time.)

(Alex sings to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat.)
Alex (singing): Brush, brush, brush your teeth, but not with a boot
Alex (singing): Stickers is really cute!

Alex: Doc, can you hear me? I'm trying to get out of this building? Can you help me?
Alex: Okay. I'll push the door (lock?). Okay. There you go!


Alex: I'm gonna be Buzz Lightyear for Halloween!
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: I love Buzz Lightyear, he's pretty!
Daddy: He's what?
Alex: Buzz Lightyear's pretty.


Alex: Claire, would you rather live in a banana (mumble), or a James Bond movie?


Alex: This is Miss Spivey. Alex is Miss Spivey. And Claire is Miss Wilson. She's Miss Wilson.
Claire: I'm not Miss WIlson. I'm Claire.
Alex: You're Miss WIlson.
Claire: No.
Alex: You're Miss WIlson.
Claire: No.
Alex: Daddy's Miss Wilson!
(Claire does not respond.)
Alex (whispering): Daddy’'s Miss WIlson.
Claire: No!!


(Daddy gives Alex & Claire two “special treats” -- fruit chews -- apiece, in reward for blowing their noses really well.)
Alex: You gave us two special treats, just like we have two nostrils!


Mommy: What did you eat for lunch, Claire?
Claire: Um… food!


Claire: Look, Daddy! A seed!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: It really really pretty.
(Daddy laughs.)
Claire (still admiring it): Wow.


Mommy: Hey Alex, what should we eat for dinner?
Alex: I think pizza.
Claire (to herself): I think pizza.
Mommy: You want pizza?
Alex: Yeah.
Claire (to herself): Yeah.


(Claire is getting ready for bed with Daddy.)

Claire: Look, Daddy, I got this boat!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: From the bath!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: It really really pretty!

(Claire looks out the window.)
Claire: It’s really really dark, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: It's dark dark dark.
(Pause.)
Claire: It dark, dark.
Claire: Daddy, it dark dark.
Daddy: Yeah.

Claire: It dark, dark, dark.
Claire: Dark, dark, dark.
Claire: Dark, dark, dark.
Claire: It dark, dark, dark.
Claire: Dark, dark, dark.

Claire: Boat on your face, Daddy.
Daddy: What?
Claire: Boat on your face.

Oh, but I thought the room shakes too.

(Daddy picks up Claire from school. Daddy is buckling Claire into her car seat, in the rain.)

Claire (to Daddy): It’s raining on you.

Claire: Get in the car. It’s wet outside.

Claire: We have to get in the car.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Yes. We have to get in the car, Daddy.


(Daddy drives Claire home, going through a fast food drive thru on the way.)

Claire: I see that red car, right, there, side us.

Claire: It driving away, Daddy. It driving away, Daddy.
Daddy: That’s right.
Claire: Yeah.
Claire: That car waiting for us, Daddy.

Claire: I went to go potty.
Daddy: You went potty at school? Good for you!
Claire: I'm all done going potty.

Claire: You got your sandwich, Daddy.
Daddy: Yes, I did.
Claire: And you got your french fries.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I like french fries, Daddy.
Daddy: I know you do.
Claire: Yeah.
Claire: French fries is crunchy, Daddy. French fries is crunchy. Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy.
Daddy: Yeah.

Claire: I have a big truck right there, Daddy, it really really big. Big truck.
Daddy: Yeah.


(Alex is inspecting the baby monitor.)
Alex: Daddy, when I'm upstairs, can you knock on the monitor?
Daddy: You wouldn't hear anything. We can hear down here, but it's just… one-way.
Alex: Oh, but I thought the room shakes too.

Yeah, me get big, really really tall. Like you.

(lunch)

(The following is the tail end of a longer conversation.)
Claire: It's burning my mouth too.
Alex: It's not burning my mouth.
Claire: It's burning my mouth too.
Alex: Just say “It's burning my mouth”, don't say “It’s burning my mouth too”.
Claire: It’s burning my mouth too.

Alex: Can snowmans have hands? How do you make hands in snowmans?

(Daddy slept in this morning.)
Claire: You asleep, Daddy? You all done sleeping?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Why’d you sleep the whole day?

Alex: When you're sick you get medicine.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And you get juice.

Claire: You get water, yeah?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I uh get water too.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I’m gonna get bigger, I'll use that glass too.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Then me get bigger, I -- uh -- I -- use that cups.
Claire: No I get bigger, I use that cup, uh drink!
Alex: Yeah you, you can have a glass of water.
Claire: Yeah glass. Glass of water.
Claire: Yeah, me get big, really really tall. Like you.
Alex: Yeah.
(Claire and Alex talk over each other.)
Alex: Hey Claire, not as big as a giant. Just the way Daddy is.
Claire: Uh gonna -- uh gonna be big like Daddy.
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Like Mommy, and – Grommie is little, Grommie is little, like Grommie.

Claire: Sorry, Alex. Sorry.
Alex: You didn't do anything.
Claire: Sorry, Alex. Sorry, Alex. Sorry.
Alex: You didn't do anything to me.
Claire: Sorry, Alex. Sorry.
Alex (to Daddy): Why is she saying sorry to me?

Alex: I wanna go to Grandma's house.
Daddy: Yeah, we're gonna go to Grandma's house!
Alex: Wait 'til I'm done wiping, okay?

Alex: I don't wanna keep my eyes closed because, I don't like keeping eyes closed, because I just like keeping my eyes open, with dreams.

Alex: My dream was about when we were sitting at the table, and, I got out of my chair, and then Claire ate me.
Daddy: And then Claire hit you?
Alex: Claire ate me.
Daddy: Claire ate you?!
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: That was his scary dream.
Daddy: I'm so sorry, buddy.
Alex: That was the end of it.
Daddy: Oh. I'm so sorry.


Alex: I don’t want any pictures at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.
Daddy: Okay. Well, maybe I wanna take a picture of Grandma and Grandpa.
Alex: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Alex: I want Grandpa to take my pictures.


Alex: I look pretty. I'm a princess.


Alex: I played with the trucks, Mommy.
Mommy: You did?
Alex: Yeah. And the Angelina stuff.

Mommy: I got lots done.
Alex: Did you say stun?
Mommy: I got lots done.
Alex: Oh. I thought you said stun.

Claire, leave Mommy alone. She's upset right now.

(Claire is playing in the pillows with Mommy.)
Claire: I love you, Mommy.


Claire: I'm happy. I'm not sad now.
Daddy: You're not sad now?
Claire: Yeah I'm happy.


(Alex and Claire are riding in the car with Daddy.)

Alex (complaining): We're going slow. We're going slow.
Claire: I like going slow. I not whining.

Alex: I don't like having lunch, just at the beach house and Grandma's house.

(Daddy tells Alex and Claire that they're going to Grandma's and Grandpa's house tomorrow.)
Alex: I'm excited.


(lunch)

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Alex.
Alex: Only tomatoes, and carrots, are little.
Daddy: Oh. Okay.
Alex: But not some vegeteables, or not, or not some fruit.
Daddy: Okay.

Claire: Mommy getting fruit for me, Daddy.

Alex: I have one more chicken nugget, and the honey mustard is all gone! I don't have any honey mustard to dip it in!


Claire: Mommy? Mommy?
Mommy: Claire!
Alex: Claire, leave Mommy alone. She's upset right now.


Alex: After nap, we're gonna go to Grandma's house because it's Sunday!
Mommy (to Daddy): He is so excited.


(Daddy is picking football games for his office pool.)
Daddy: Alex, who do you think would win in a contest between a Bengal and a Panther?
Alex: It would knock the piano down!

(Everyone is talking about the beach.)
Alex: Grandma likes to take walks, isn't that funny, Claire?

I'll get the jelly beans and you get the magazines.

(Claire makes Daddy put all her toys beside her for diaper change.)
Claire: Dat a big pile.
Daddy: Yeah, it is a big pile.
Claire: Big pile of stuff.

(Claire wants Daddy to get her bear.)
Daddy: I have my bear right here. Claire Bear.
Claire (smiling): Dis is Claire. Dis not your bear.


(Claire climbs into her chair while holding her bear in one hand.)
Claire: I have one hand, get in my chair.


Alex: I tried a -- I tried a new thing at school.
Mommy: You did? What is it?
Alex: Grabby-- grabbioli, that's what it's called.


Daddy: What did you do at school today, Claire?
Claire: I ate some pasta, Daddy. With red sauce!


(Alex and Claire are playing.)

(Alex grabs a stack of coasters.)
Alex: We're packing up for the beach!

Alex: We need some more things, Claire.
Alex: Jelly beans?
Alex: I'll get the jelly beans and you get the magazines.
Alex: I got the sandwiches.

Alex: This is where we're gonna put all our stuff.
Daddy: Okay, where are you going?
Alex: We're going to the beach house.

Alex: (to Claire): You need to say “arriba” so the door can open for you, okay? Say “arriba!”
Claire: Arriba!


(Alex is reading a book to himself during nap.)
Alex: I like Christmas, Halloween, I like rivers, and ice skating.

Animal did something now! Haha.

Daddy: Are you not gonna eat your sausage?
Alex: No I'm makin' cars with it.

Alex: I don't like Miss Spivey, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah? Why not?
Alex: Because I… just don't like her.
Daddy: Is she not nice?
Alex: I don't like her and she's... not nice.

Alex: You can feel the butter on your waffle. Can't you, Claire?

Claire (to Daddy, getting down from her stool): I want big jump. I need, two hands.

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Um, what comes after Thursday?
Daddy: Friday.
Alex: What comes after Friday?
Daddy: Saturday.
Alex: Oh! And then what comes after Saturday?
Daddy: Sunday.
Alex: Sunday!
Alex: Today is what. Daddy. What -- what is today.
Daddy: Today is Thursday.
Alex: Oh. And then… Friday. Then… Saturday. Okay, that's it.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Then we stay at home. You stay at home, Alex stay at home, Claire stay at home, Mommy stay at home, and Grommie stay at home.
Daddy: That’s right.


Daddy: What did you do at school today?
Claire: I ate food and sandwich.
Daddy: You ate food and sandwich?
Claire: Yeah. Bread sandwich.
Daddy: What kind of sandwich?
Claire: A bread sandwich, I like it. I like it.
(Claire mutters something about chicken.)
Claire: I don't want my chicken, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: I don't want my chicken.

Mommy (to Alex): Hey. How did you get so cute?
Alex: Because Mommy and Daddy made it.


Alex: Look.
(Alex closes one eye.)
Alex: Arrr!
Mommy: What are you doing?
Alex: I was being a pirate.


(dinner)

(Claire asks for butter for her toast.)
Mommy: You have butter. It melted.
Alex (to Claire): You know butter melts. Like snow. Snow melts, and butter melts!

Mommy: If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
Claire: Meee! I would be a dog.

Mommy: What about you, Alex?
Alex: I would wish, I would be, a cat.
Mommy: You'd be a cat?
Alex: Yeah.

Alex: I wish that I would walk, on, a roof.
Mommy: Okay.

Alex: And I wish I could be a banana, for um, Halloween.
Alex: I could be a banana for Halloween.
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: Instead of Buzz Lightyear.
Mommy: Is that what you want?
Alex: Maybe Buzz Lightyear instead.

(Alex tells Claire a joke.)
Alex: What would happen if a pig was in, uh, was in our yard? Can you say “I don’t know”?
Claire: I don’t know.
Alex: Say I don't know.
Claire: I donna know.
Alex: He would pop on the ceiling!
(Alex laughs.)
(Claire laughs.)

Alex: Tell me a joke.
Claire: You a pig?
Alex: No, you tell me, can you tell me if a animal did something?
Claire: Animal did something now! Haha.
Alex (upset): That's not how you do a joke!

Alex: Um Claire, I'll show you how to say a, a joke okay?
Claire: No.
Alex: What, you say it like this, um --
Claire (angrily): Don't do that, don't! No no no.
Alex: But you don't know how, Claire, you don't know how.
Claire (angrily): I don't know how.
Alex: No, you don't know how.
Claire (angrily): I don't know how, Ah-yix.


Alex (out of the blue): Are pyramids real or pretend?
Mommy: Pyramids? They're real.
Alex: What do pyramids look like?


Alex: Daddy, can you show me how to count?
Daddy: You know how to count.
Alex: But I wanna count to twenty.
Daddy: Okay. Let's start at one.


(getting ready for bed)

Alex: I'm a instrument.
Daddy: What kind of instrument are you?
Alex: Um, a tuba.

(Alex sings a Cat in the Hat song.)
Alex (singing): I'm a pump!
Alex (singing): One tie-nie-nee hump.
Alex (singing): Nobody loves meeeee…
Alex (singing): One tie-nie-nee hump!
Alex (singing): I'm a pump.

Claire: I pick… Uhjellygit Pool.

That's not food. That's animals.

(Daddy dresses Claire.)
Claire: It have buttons.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: So many buttons.

Claire: We're downstairs, Alex. I'm awake.

(A girl on TV is brushing her teeth.)
Claire (to Daddy, smiling): She says, "Your turn!"

(Claire sees the big banana on her plate.)
Claire: Dat really really big. Cut it up.
Daddy: Okay.
(Daddy starts cutting up the banana.)
Claire: Dat really really big. I don't want to eat it like that.


(Mommy, Claire, and Alex call Daddy at work. Claire is very sad.)
Alex: Claire wants you to come home early.


(Claire is looking for a baby blanket, and finds Juju and Mallory.)
Claire: I found a blanket. This is a blanket. Mallory a blanket, and Juju a blanket too!
Mommy: Okay.


Alex (to Claire): It's 35! So I'm gonna be the crocodile and snap you with this book.

Claire: It's my book. Crocodile lie down. Reads his book.


(Everyone is playing “the dinner game”.)

Alex: I think Claire's favorite animal is a caterpillar.

Alex: I think Daddy's favorite animal is… I think Daddy's favorite animal is a butterfly.

Alex: I think Mommy's animal is a shark.

Alex: I don't like that, they eat people.
Daddy: Yeah?
Mommy: How do you know that?
Alex: Because sharks, um, sharks have sharp teeth. And they eat people, they're real.

Daddy: What do you think Mommy’s favorite food is?
Alex: I think Mommy's favorite food is carrots.
Daddy: Claire, what do you think?
Claire: I think Claire is a tiger… and a cat… and a dog…and a tiger.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: I is a tiger… quail… dog… cat… and tiger. And a cat and a cat.
Alex: That's not food. That's animals.


Claire: I peed in a swim diaper!

Daddy: Alex, I think you're pretty great. I think you're a great kid.
Alex: Thank you.

You better eat your zucchini, Daddy.

(lunch)

Daddy: Hey, Alex. What happened to the power?
Alex: The power went out.
Daddy: And what is that -- what happens when the power goes out?
Alex: The… the lights turn off.
Daddy: What else turns off?
Alex: I don’t know.
Daddy: What about the air conditioning?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: The refrigerator?
Alex: Mm-hm.
Daddy: What about Claire? Does Claire turn off?
Alex: No.
Claire: I clean up those plates.
Daddy: You guys are gonna clean up the plates.
Claire: Uh clean up ploi-- plates!
Mommy: You're gonna clear the table. That's what it's called.
Daddy: Yeah. Is that your job? Your job too, Alex?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Good for you.
Alex: You better eat your zucchini, Daddy.
Daddy: It's lasagna.
Alex: You better eat your some lasagna.
Daddy: Okay, I will.
Alex: You -- you haven't eat it. It's very yummy.
Daddy: I'll eat it, it is very yummy. Thank you.
Claire: Eat you ayah. Dere eat it, Daddy.
Daddy: My lasagna.
Claire: Eat it Daddy!
(Daddy takes a bite.)
Claire: Yay. Wow! You ate all yours! Yummy, Daddy!
Daddy: Yeah, yummy.
Claire: Yeah.



(dinner)

Claire: Let's do a dinner game.

Alex (singing): He's so big, he lives in my house, every day, he's so cute!
Daddy: Who are you talking about?
Alex: You!

Claire: Now you do that again, to close your eyes.
(Daddy closes his eyes.)
Daddy: You like that?
Claire: Yeah. Uh do that again. Please, Daddy? Please.


(After dinner, Claire is wiping the spaghetti off of her chair, as Daddy requested.)
Claire: I'm wiping my chair.
Daddy: Good! You're doing a good job, Claire!
Claire: I'm big doing that.
Daddy: Yeah.
(Claire wipes her chair for a little bit longer.)
Claire: I'm tired doing that, I'm tired.
Daddy: Okay.

And that’s pretty much all.

(Daddy wakes up Claire.)

Claire: Really really big poop.

Claire: I uh lie on Juju uh Mallory.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Juju Mallory be really really warm.


Dora: Say “map!” Say “map!”
Claire: Mack!
Dora: Louder!
Claire: Maaaaack!

Alex: Maybe Science Kid likes his door open when he’s sleeping, like me.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Because when my door’s closed when I’m sleeping, I can’t see.

(Mommy is leaving for work.)
Claire: Hug, Mommy!
Alex: A hug! A hug!
Claire: Uh I want hug too and kiss!


(Daddy picks Claire up from school.)
Daddy: What did you do at school today, Claire?
Claire: I ate all my sausage.
Daddy: You ate all your sausage?
Claire: Yeah, I ate all my sausage. I want more.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: I ate fruit. Not my egg.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire: I don’t like my egg. I don’t like my egg.

(Daddy and Claire get home from school.)
Claire: We have new brushes upstairs.

Claire (pointing to the closet): That Juju house there.
Daddy: That’s Juju’s house?
Claire: Yeah. This is Juju house right over here.
Daddy: Oh, okay.

Daddy: Okay, let’s go upstairs and use your new brush.
Claire: We got new brushes at the grocery store, Daddy. We got new brushes at the grocery store.

(Claire gets ready for bed.)
Claire: Uh sit down and take my shoes off.

(Claire puts her shoes away.)
Claire: Uh put it right there. Under my shelf.

(Claire gets in position for diaper change.)
Claire: Uh-oo bump my head. On my bed.

(Alex is in gym class, so instead of waving bye-bye to Alex before bed, Claire waves bye-bye to Alex’s empty room.)
Claire: Bye-bye, Elly and Bo – bye-bye, chair and pillow.


(Claire plays with trains and toys in her bed during nap time.)

Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go over my bed now.
(Pause.)
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go over my bed now.
(Pause.)
Claire: You can! Go over my bed!
(Pause.)
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go over my bed now. You can’t.
Claire’s train: You’re blocking my way! You’re blocking my way! I can’t get by, Stickers! You’re on my bridge! You’re on my bridge.
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t drive on my bridge now.

Claire: You blocking my way!

Claire: You’re blocking my way! You’re blocking my way! I can’t get by!
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go on my bridge now. You can’t go on my bridge now.
Claire (in a mean voice): You can’t go on my bridge now. (mumble mumble) by.

Claire: Uh get by door.
Claire (in a mean voice): You get by, dat, door.
Claire: (mumble) cry. (mumble) cry.
Claire: Uh door again.
Claire: Thank you.
Claire: Here go, ‘Igi.
(Pause.)
Claire: Here go, ‘Igi.
(Pause.)
Claire: Come on, ‘Igi!

Claire: My light on!


(Alex and Claire help Mommy make burritos.)

Mommy: Okay, just spread it around. And if you need help, just let me know.
Alex: Okay.
Alex (whiny): I need help!

Alex: That looks nice, Claire.

Alex: It’s squishy, Mommy.


(dinner)

Alex: Carrots, yummy!

Alex: Let’s do the dinner game!

Mommy: I like sour cream.
Claire: I like sour cream too. I like sour cream too.
Mommy: You like sour cream?
Claire: Yeah. And you like sour cream.
Mommy: Yeah, I like sour cream.
Claire (to Daddy): And you like sour cream. And you like sour cream. And you like sour cream.
Daddy: Yeah, I like sour cream.
Claire: And Alex like sour cream.

(Alex is playing tonight’s dinner game.)

Alex: I have something that in my hand, that’s white, and yellow, and Claire eats it every day.
Mommy: White and yellow? And Claire eats it every day?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: Is it… a banana?
(Pause.)
Alex: Yeah!!

(Alex holds a carrot in his hand.)
Alex: I’m gonna do it for real now, ‘kay. I have something in my hand, that’s orange!
(Alex pauses for a millisecond.)
Alex: It’s a carrot!

(Alex grabs a handful of carrots.)
Alex: I’m gonna do another, I’m gonna do, one, two, three, four, five, carrots! In my hand.

Daddy: Did you make those cookies for your friends?
Alex: Yeah I just put them on the pan, that’s all.
Daddy: Oh, okay.
Alex: It’s short, cookie, time.

Daddy (to Claire): If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Claire: Yeah. It says “Thunder!”
(Daddy laughs.)
Daddy: It says thunder?
Claire: Yeah. It says “Thunder! Boom, boom!”


Daddy: Do you like feeling sad, or do you like feeling happy?
Alex: Feeling happy.
Daddy: What things make you feel happy?
Alex: Um, if Claire didn’t hit me.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: What else?
Alex: If Claire didn’t push me.
Daddy: Yeah?
(Pause.)
Alex: If Claire doesn’t… if Claire doesn’t bite me.
Alex: And that’s pretty much all.


(Daddy reads Dr. Seuss’s “McElligot’s Pool” to Alex and Claire.)

Claire (“counting” a body of water pictured in the book): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!
Alex: Claire, can I show you how to count please?
Claire: No.

(Alex points to a picture.)
Alex: What’s that?
Daddy: That’s a fish with a parachute.
Claire: Say “shake, shake, shake!”


(Bed time. Although Mommy and Daddy have explained repeatedly that Alex did not get a timeout in his gymnastics class earlier in the day, Alex is still a little upset because he felt like he did. Daddy is now trying to cheer him up.)
Daddy: Next time you go to gym class, you can say, “No timeouts for me! That’s my choice.”
Alex: Okay.
Daddy: And then you can laugh like this.
(Daddy laughs hysterically.)
(Pause.)
Alex: I don’t think I can do that.

“We’re driving! We’re driving the car!” Like that.

(lunch / keshnerkle)

Alex: I’m being a machine.
Daddy: You’re being a machine?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex (picking up mac and cheese with his spoon as if his arm is a crane): Mmmmmmmmmm.

Claire: Eh me turn my head eh Claire don’t – don’t – talk to me. Okay? Okay? Okay?

Claire: Eh, turn, my head, then, you, don’t, then, me, don’t, uh talk.


Alex (singing): Silly
Alex (singing): Silly
Alex (singing): Everybody’s silly
Alex (singing): Every kind of boy, is silly!


(Everyone is riding in the car on the way to the grocery store.)
Alex: Can we get a car cart?
Alex: I want a little cart.
Mommy: Let's get a car cart. You guys can drive it.
Claire (smiling): “We’re driving! We’re driving the car!” Like that.

(At the grocery store, Alex is walking instead of riding in the car cart.)
Daddy: I thought you guys were gonna drive the car.
Alex: I don't want to. I want to get some exercise.

Alex: We need to get some exercise. We need to get some exercise.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Sitting in the car is not exercise.


(Everyone is riding home in the car.)

Claire: I want some bed, Mommy. I want some bed.
Mommy: You want some bed?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: You are tired.

Claire: I want some nap. I want some nap.
Mommy: Are you tired?
Claire: Yeah.

Claire: Motorcycle! Dat a motorcycle!
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Motorcycle going that way. Motorcycle going that way, Mommy.
Mommy: Yeah, it went straight.
Claire: Why?

I wish I could be big and I could build. For real.

(Daddy is dressing Claire.)
Claire: Dat pretty shirt.
Daddy: I think it’s pretty too.
Claire: Uh show Mommy it.


(Daddy, Alex, and Claire leave the house to go for a drive.)

Alex: Did you fix the garage door?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: The man fixed our house. It not leaking now, it not leaking.

(Daddy is wearing his baseball cap.)
Alex (to Daddy): Why do you have your school hat on?

Alex: I wish I could be big and I could build. For real.

Alex: I wish I could walk on the roof, just like the men at the new preschool. And I could put bricks on it.

Alex: I'm sleeping in the car the whole - the wh - the whole time.
Daddy: Okay.
(Pause.)
Alex: ‘Cause I'm tired.
(Pause.)
Claire: I'm tired too. I'm tired, Daddy. I'm tired.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Are we almost there?
Claire: That green light, now it red.


Alex: Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!
Claire: Oh man!
Claire: No find it now. No find it now!

Mommy (cutting sandwiches with her new dinosaur-shaped cutter): Oh look at your cute little dinosaur sandwiches.
Alex (running over): Oh I wanna go see them, I wanna go see them.

I want you uh play bouncy ball with me.

Backpack: Dora needs rope! Do you see the rope?
Claire: Yeah I see the rope! Right there! I see it!


Alex: You smell clean, Mommy.


Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Alex: We had a busy day yesterday.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah.


Alex: I have a small neighborhood.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Why is it small?
Alex: Because it’s just… houses this way – and houses that way, and houses way over there. That’s why it’s small.


Alex (to Daddy): We were pretending your car is a drum.


Mommy: I’m tired.
Alex: Not me because I had quiet time for a little bit.

Alex: You didn’t sleep during bedtime, you did all the school work, like this?
Alex (running in place): Aaaaahhhhh!


(Alex and Daddy are driving somewhere.)
Alex: This is the way to Costco.


Alex: I wanna go inside and get Benadryl.


(Claire is playing in the pantry.)
Claire: Daddy? I need some groceries in my kitchen.
Daddy: You need some groceries in your kitchen?
Claire: Yeah. I go get some. I guh go get some.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: There Mallory! There Mallory!
(Claire runs to the kitchen table to get Mallory.)
Claire: I got Mallory.
Daddy: Good.

Claire (to Daddy): I want you uh play bouncy ball with me.
(Claire and Daddy play bouncy balls.)

(Claire has Daddy’s bouncy ball.)
Claire: Don’t get your ball. Don’t – get – your – ball.

(Claire is in the laundry room.)
Claire: I in here. You can’t get your ball now!

Claire (laughing as she chases a ball): I get it! I get it! I get it!

Claire: I got your ball! I got your ball, Daddy!

Claire: Let’s trade balls.

Claire: Uh go get two balls.

Claire: Let’s do that again.

Claire: Let’s do that again.

Claire: Let’s do that again.

Claire: Let’s do that again.

Claire: Let’s do that again.

(Daddy is typing these remarks on his computer.)
Claire: I want you play bouncy ball, Daddy.

(Claire makes the following remarks as she looks in cabinets and drawers all around the kitchen.)
Claire: Where the pink ball. In here? No. In here? No. In here? No. In here? No.
Claire: I finding the pink ball, Daddy.
Claire: In here? No. In here? No.
Claire: I finding the pink ball, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: In here? No. In here? No. In here? No. In here? No.
Claire: In here? No. In here? Um… no.
Claire: In here? No.
Claire: In here? No.
Claire: In here? No.
Claire: In here? Nope.
Claire: In here? No.
Claire: In here? No.
Claire: In here? No.
Claire: In here? In the door? Door?
(Claire begins taking everything out of the kids’ cabinet.)
Claire: I looking uh – I look in here. I find (mumble) in here. I finding (mumble) in here. ‘Kay Daddy?
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Where is it. Where is the pink ball?
Claire: In here? No. In here? No. I finding the pink ball. Where is the pink ball.
Claire: I finding the pink ball, Daddy. I finding the pink ball. Okay, Daddy?
Daddy: Okay.

(Grommie hears something and whines.)
Claire: Mo – that’s Mommy.
Daddy: You think that’s Mommy?
Claire: That the brown truck.

(Claire puts everything back in the kids’ cabinet.)
Claire: I done looking for uh pink ball.
Daddy: Okay.

(Claire hears Mommy and Alex come home.)
Claire: Alex here.


(dinner)

Claire: We’re eating dinner.

Claire: It really really yummy.

Claire: I ate it. I ate my pizza.
Mommy: It’s crunchy.
Claire: Yeah, it crunchy. It really yummy. We’re eating dinner.

Claire: I want have more pizza please. Yes pleeeeease.
Mommy: Okay. You’re very polite.
Claire: May I please have more pizza pleeease.

Claire (to Daddy): You mowed the grass yesterday, in the grass.
Daddy: That’s right.

Claire: Ah-yex put his shoes on and we went outside. Den you mowed the grass. It long. Den you mowed it.

(Daddy is wiping Claire’s hands and face.)
Claire: Wipe my hands, Daddy. And my face.
Daddy: And your face.
Claire: This face.

One… two… three! Okay? I show you how.

(Everyone plays in the backyard.)

Alex: I heard something during nap.

Claire: I swing!

Alex: The trees are blowing our hair.

Claire: Ah-yah getting uh spiderwebs.
Daddy: Oh yeah? What is Claire doing?
Claire: Uh… I outside.
Alex: Mommy’s getting the spiderwebs!

Claire (getting into the toy car): I getting in the car.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: I going get some groceries.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Stay there.


Alex: A is for Alex!
Alex: Q is for Q. Q-per.
Alex: O is for O.
Alex: P is for P.
Alex: C is for Claire.
Alex: X is for something else.
Claire: Mommy!
Alex: No.


Claire (crawling around on the kitchen floor): I'm a baby.

(Claire gets ready to wash hands for dinner.)
Claire: I be a baby after dinner.


(dinner)

(Claire notices the new microwave, which has been in place for a few days already.)
Claire: Oh! It -- Dat a new oven! Dat a microwave!
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Dat a new microwave! Dat a new one, Mommy!
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Dat a new one!
Claire: Wow. New one…

Daddy (sighing to himself): Oh boy.
Alex: Oh boy's not a nice word.
Daddy: Oh boy's not a nice word?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: I'm sorry.
Alex: Why is it not?
Daddy: I -- well you told me, why isn't it?
Alex: Because I… just.. don't know. You tell me. You tell me why "oh man" is not nice.
Daddy: Um… some things just aren't nice. And "oh man" is not a nice thing to say. What should you say instead?
Alex: Unfortunate!
Daddy: That’s right. "How unfortunate!"
Alex: How unfortunate!

Claire: Dat 'matos.
Daddy: 'Matos? Oh, yeah.
Claire: Out of garden.
(Claire starts counting the tomatoes.)
Alex (interrupting): There're ten, Claire.
Claire (counting again): One… two… ten… eleven… twelve!
Alex: I'll say how to count, okay?
Claire: Okay.
Alex: One… two… three… four… five… six… seven...
Claire (joining in): Seven… eight...
Alex: Wait for me, okay?
Claire (continuing over him): Nine… ten!
Alex: Wait, Claire, I'll count the right way first, and after I count, you can go after me, okay?
Claire: Okay.
Alex: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. See? That's the way.
Claire: One… two… three! Okay? I show you how.
Alex: No I already know how.

Claire: I want more water, Daddy. Yes please. May I please have more water please?

Mommy: Who wants more plum?
Alex: Me!
Claire: I want more plum please.
Daddy: Okay, you can have some more plum.
Claire: May I please have more plum please.

(Claire notices her reflection in the window.)
Claire: I see me inside, Daddy. I see inside me talking, to you.
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: I see Claire! I see Alex!
(Claire starts making faces, laughing, and doing silly dances.)
(Alex joins in.)


Claire: One… two… three… four!
Claire: Five… six… seven… eight!
Claire: Eleven… twelve… thirteen… eleventeen… eleventeen!
Daddy: What are you counting, Claire?
Claire: Carrots.
Mommy: She's telling me how many carrots she had at dinner.


Alex (sitting in Daddy's lap): You look like a chair.

(Claire sits down hard in Mommy's lap, and Mommy grunts in pain.)
Claire: I'm sorry Mommy, it okay. I'm sorry it okay.


(Alex is in bed, but shouts downstairs.)
Alex: Am I gonna wake up at ten?
Daddy: Seven!
Alex: Okay.
(Pause.)
Alex: Did you say five?
Daddy: Seven!
Alex: Okay.
(Pause.)
Alex: I didn't know what you were saying.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Yeah? Did you say yeah?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Okay.

I pee pee in uh potty at school, Daddy!

Alex: I don't wanna go to preschool.
Daddy: But that’s where all your friends are. You don't have any friends in your old class anymore.
Alex: But Ryan and Katie are in there. And Shani.
Daddy: Well, they'll be moving up soon.
Alex: Oh.
(Pause.)
Daddy: But Ryan's the little boy, he needs to do some more growing.


Alex: Dogs don't be good very well.


Alex: I like to do computers, that's why I don't like preschool, they don't do computers very much.


(Claire comes home from school.)
Claire: I pee pee in uh potty at school, Daddy!


Alex (looking at his plum): There's the ceiling!

Daddy: Is that the ceiling?
Alex: No, I ate the ceiling. I ate the ceiling of the uh, plum.


(Claire wants Daddy to go into the pantry.)
Claire: Go duh in the door, get in there, den, you talk to me.

Foo on it, Daddy!

(Grommie starts barking at the front window.)
Alex: Grommie heard the brown truck.
Daddy: Maybe.
Alex: Grommie heard some kinda truck.


Alex: I'm excited that Nana's gonna pick me up.


(Daddy picks Claire up from school.)
Claire: Where is you park?


Alex: Can we go in the playroom?
Mommy: Well, I need to make dinner, I think some people are getting cranky.
Alex: Well, I don't want any people to get cranky.


Claire: It hot in my swing, uh put a towel in there, it hot.


Daddy: Alex, what's a sombrero?
Alex: A hat. A kind of hat.

Daddy: Alex, what is a windmill?
Alex: Um a tower...
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: ...And it has a wheel on it!


(Daddy gives Claire a kiss.)
Claire: You going to work, Daddy?

Claire: Do you want a cupcake, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Okay.
(Claire gives Daddy a toy cupcake.)
Claire: Do you want two cupcakes? Say “please”.
Daddy: Please?
(Claire gives Daddy another toy cupcake.)
(Daddy pretends to eat the cupcake.)
Claire: Foo on it, Daddy!

Claire: Where you going, Daddy?

Daddy: Hey Alex, I promised you we'd listen to some music.
Alex (shrieking): LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC! YAY - YAY - YAY! EVERYBODY RUN, TOO!

Alex: Daddy, after Mommy gets Grommie to go poop, or pee, then you can turn the music on because I don't wanna miss it.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: I don't wah miss it, Daddy!

(The music starts.)
Alex (shrieking): DANCE, MOMMY!!!!
Alex (shrieking): RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN EVERYBODY! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!


Alex (to Daddy): I wanna poop too, so you need to go and Claire can stay here.
Daddy: Okay.
(Daddy steps out of the bathroom and stands in the hall.)
Alex: I don't want to see you.
Daddy: Okay, I'll go over here where you can't see me.
(Daddy moves to the side of the doorway where he can’t be seen.)
(Pause.)
Alex: I don't want to see your shadow either.

Hair... and poop… all messy things... shirts... trash…

(Alex gets out of bed in the morning, but leaves Elly laid out flat on his pillow.)
Alex: I'll leave Elly here because I want her to be like a square, Daddy.

(Mommy is getting ready to leave for work.)
Claire (to Mommy): You going to work?
Mommy: I'm going to work.
Claire: Get your coffee!
Mommy: I'll get my coffee.
Claire: Bye-bye!
Mommy: Bye-bye.
Claire: Good (luck?) at work, Mommy!

(The weatherman is talking on TV.)
Alex: What is the man talking about?

Claire: Where is Mommy?


Claire: New soap!

Claire: Hi Daddy.
Daddy: Hi sweetie.
Claire: Why you talk to the man?


(Claire is playing with trains in her bed during nap time.)

Claire: I want (mumble).
Claire: Can you say “May I?”
Claire: May I please!

Claire: I want it! I want it!
Claire (whining): Uuuuuuuuh! Uh!
Claire: I, want, it!

Claire: Put your hands up! Hooray!
Claire: Your hands up! Hooray!
Claire: (Mumble) your hands up! Hooray!
Claire: Your hands up! Hooray!
(Claire claps.)

(Claire lays down her stuffed Sesame Street toys, and picks them up again.)
Claire: Up, down, up! Lie down. Lie down. Lie down. Lie down.
Claire: But me right back up! Right back up. Right back up. Right back up.
Claire: Lay back, back down! Lay back down. Lay back down. Lay back down. Lay back down. Lay back down.
(Claire suddenly scrambles all of the toys in her lap.)


Alex (to Claire): You blow the whistle and then I'll run away, okay?
(Claire goes into the pantry and closes the door behind her.)
Alex: No, you blow the whistle, and then I'll run away.
(Claire is still in the pantry.)
Alex: I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something.
(Alex opens the pantry door.)
Claire: NO!
(Claire closes the door.)
Alex: Knock knock.
(Claire opens the door.)
Alex: I need to tell you something, okay?
Claire: Okay.
Alex: You blow the whistle and then I'll run away.

(Alex goes into the pantry and closes the door behind him.)
Claire (trying to open the door): I tell you something, uh, you, blow your whistle, uh, you, blow your --
Alex: No! No!

(Alex and Claire are running around, and Alex crashes into Claire.)
Alex: I love you Claire.
Claire (running away): You -- you love me, Ah-yah!

(Claire goes into the pantry, and peeks her head out.)
Claire: I in here, Mommy! I in here, Daddy!
Daddy: Are you in there?
Claire: I in my kitchen. I make.

(Claire goes into the pantry, and closes the door behind her. After a moment, she opens the door a bit and peeks her head out.)
Claire: It's dark in here, Daddy! It's dark!
Daddy: Yeah, I bet it is.
Claire: Yeah.
(Claire closes the door again.)


Mommy (complaining about the dirty floor): It's all dusty and dead bugs.
Alex (wandering around): Hair... and poop… all messy things... shirts... trash…


(Claire is late for washing hands.)
Daddy: Claire! It's time to wash hands!
Claire (running into the kitchen): I cleaning up my mess. I cleaning up my mess.


(dinner)

Alex: Where does the pizza man get the pizza?

Claire: It really really hot.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Maybe the pizza man put it in the oven.
Mommy: I bet he did.

Mommy: Who'd you play with today, Claire?
Claire: Um, cupcakes.
Alex: Who'd you play with at school?
Claire: Um… just my friends.
Alex: What friend?
Claire: Um, Campbell.
Alex: You played with Campbell?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Who else?
Claire: Uh and my friends.
Alex: Who else, Claire, who else are your friends?
Claire: Um, cupcakes.

Claire: Ah-yah don't have Miss Whitney, I have Miss Whitney.

Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: Mm-hm?
Alex: The best part of my class was jumping on the big red trampoline.

(Mommy expresses her desire to jump on the trampoline too.)
Alex: When you're littler, you can do it.

Alex: Is Mommy gonna be little again?
Daddy: No.
Alex: Why?
Daddy: Because people don't get littler.
Alex: I'll stay like a daddy every day?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Oh, why?


Alex (to Claire): Say “That's not a hat! And you're not a cat!” Okay, Claire?
Claire: You're not a cat.
Alex: And that's not a hat.
Claire: That's not a hat.

Why? Because I might get cold?

(Everyone is getting in the car.)

Alex: I want you to sit in the fr- the other chair, and Mommy can sit in the driving chair.
Daddy: You want Mommy to sit in the driving chair?
Alex: Yeah, and you can sit in the other front chair.

Alex (looking at the clock): It's almost 30 E.

Claire: You don't go, Grommie.


Mommy: Alex! Do not climb in the freezer.
Alex: Why? Because I might get cold?


(Daddy is scratching an itch.)
Claire: You have mosquito bite?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: You want medicine?
Daddy: No thank you.


Alex (to Daddy): I wanna -- I wanna go upstairs with Claire and Mommy and you stay down here.


(Alex sneezes.)
(Pause.)
Alex: Say "bless you".
Daddy: Bless you.
Alex: Thank you.

That man have that football hat on.

(Daddy opens a box of waffles.)
Claire (pointing, proudly and enthusiastically): We got more waffles, at the grocery store! That’s -- we got them. At the grocery store!
Daddy: Yeah!

Claire: I want more water, please. More -- more -– more cold water.


(Alex and Claire are playing together.)

Alex (frantically): A dinosaur's coming! A dinosaur's coming! A dinosaur's coming!
Claire (frantically): Dinosaur's coming! Dinosaur's coming!
Alex (frantically): A dinosaur and a bear are coming!
Claire (frantically): Dinosaur bear coming!

Claire: I get my -- I get my -- I get my baby, Ah-yah.
Daddy: You got your baby?
Claire: Yeah I got it for the party.

Alex (calling out): Party's ready! The party's ready!
Alex (to Claire): Sit! Before the bear comes in. And the dragon!

Alex: It's… almost… o'clock, Claire! So the bear’s gonna come in o'clock. You better stop him.


(Claire is putting her shoes on.)
Claire: Look, Daddy, I'm a big girl!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: Look, look me, Daddy, I doing my shoes!


(lunch)

(Daddy puts bread in the toaster.)
Claire: Uh say one two three pop. Okay, Daddy?
Daddy: Okay.
Claire and Daddy (together): One… two... three… pop!
Claire: It didn't pop, Daddy!

Alex: I'm gonna look this way and then you talk to me, okay? And then I won't talk to you.


(Daddy is watching a football game on TV.)
Claire: Uh man have hat on. Have soccer hat on.
Daddy: That's a football hat.
Claire: Football hat.
Claire (pointing to a player): That man have that football hat on.
Claire (pointing to another player): That man have that football hat on.

That like a moon, Daddy, that look like a moon.

(dinner)

Claire (regarding her peach slice): That like a moon.

Alex: I like all of the stuff Mommy makes.

Claire: I want cut more pizza, please. I want cut more pizza -- I want more pizza, cut up that pizza. ‘Kay, Daddy?

Claire: That like a moon, Daddy, that look like a moon.
Mommy: Yeah!
Alex: And, a rainbow!
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Because rainbows stand up like that. One day we can find a rainbow.

(Alex and Claire are eating imaginary things of Mommy's.)
Daddy: No eating other people's things at the table. That's a rule, you know that rule.
Alex: We forgot it.

Alex: Can I tell you a joke, Daddy?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Where do the chickens live when they live on the house?
Daddy: Uh, I don’t know, where do they live?
Alex: They live in… they live in the light! Heh heh.
Daddy: That's hilarious!

Alex: My fork was a clock, and it pointed, to… it was… nine o'clock!
Daddy: Nine o'clock?
Alex: Yeah it's almost time to go upstairs.

Alex: Knock knock, who's there? Alex!
Claire: Knock knock, Daddy, knock knock, Claire, knock knock, who is, Claire!

I, I tired of wait.

Alex: I like the things I can do.
Daddy: Oh? Good. What can you do?
Alex: I can color, and paint, and if I don't color right I get timeout… and I don't get out, ‘cause… they don't do that.

Claire: I looking at that tree.


(dinner)

Claire: I yock sour cream! I yock it!

Alex (out of the blue): I think I wanna be for Halloween as a banana.

(Daddy puts bread in the taoster.)
Claire: Uh one two three.
Daddy: Okay, you ready?
Claire and Daddy (together): One, two, three, four, pop!
Claire: It's not popping!
Daddy: It's not popping!
Claire: We wait, pop.
Daddy: Okay, we'll wait.
Claire: I, I tired of wait.

Alex's bread: Hi. Hi. Hi.
Claire: I don't have bread. I don't have bread, Ah-yah.
Alex: Your finger can say hi.

Alex: Can we play Deep Pillows?
Daddy: What do you want to play?
Alex: I wanna play River.

Alex: Can we see a movie, Mommy? Just one movie. Because it's late.


(Alex is in bed, shouting loud enough to be heard downstairs.)
Alex: I have something to cut!
Alex: I have something to cut!
Mommy: What?
Alex: I have something to cut!
Daddy (to Mommy): He has something to cut.
Alex: Can you say "okay"?
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: Can you, can you come cut it?
Mommy: Okay.

Don't have pee in it.

(Daddy is getting ready to change Claire’s diaper. Claire brings Daddy a new diaper.)
Claire: Dat new diaper.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Don’t have pee in it.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: Mommy’s knee was bony when we were singing to go down for nap.


(Daddy is driving Claire and Alex to school.)
Alex: I like the computers part in preschool.


Alex: Daddy? I don't like going upside down in roller coasters.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: I just like the round ones.


(dinner)

Claire: Blueberries not hot.
Mommy: That's right, the blueberries aren't hot.
Alex: Fruit -- fruit don't be hot, Daddy. Fruit doesn't be hot.

Alex: My foot hurts. Inside.

Claire's bread: Hi.
Alex's bread: Hi.
Claire’s bread: Uh go to work?
Alex’s bread: No. Let's stay home.

Alex: Can we have -- um, I wish we could have numbers on our driveway.

I'm gonna find out how old they are.

Dora: And the piece that has eight sides.
Claire (pointing): Ah-gon eight sides. Ah-gon.


Claire: Watch me dance, Daddy. Watch me dance.
(Claire dances.)


Daddy: So, how was school today?
Alex: Um. Fine. Fine!
Daddy: Fine? That’s all you have to say?
Claire: Uh got – get in my class.
Daddy: You got in your class?
Claire: Dat new, new class. I get in my new class.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: That’s great!

Daddy: Claire, do you like your new class?
Claire: Yeah. I like my new class.
Daddy: What do you like about it?
Claire: My teachers.
Daddy: Yeah? Who are your teachers?
Claire: Fiffon. Fiffon!
Daddy: Fiffon?
Claire: Yeah.

Daddy: Alex, how is – how is preschool?
Alex: Um. Fine, heh.
(Pause.)
Alex: I just say fine.
Daddy: Yes, I heard you.
Alex: Mm-hm.

Daddy: Who else is in preschool?
Alex: All my friends.
Daddy: Such as…
Alex: Such as?
Daddy: Yes, such as…
Alex: I’m not such as. You’re such as.
Daddy: I’m not such as. You’re such as.
Alex (laughing): No!

Daddy: Well, who are your teachers?
Alex: Um. Miss Schern and… Miss Spivey. Who was the next teacher, Mommy?
Mommy: What, honey?
Alex: Who is the next teacher, I had three in my class.
Mommy: You have Miss Schern, and Miss Spivey, and Miss Wilson.
Alex: Oh. I had Miss Wilson, Daddy.
Daddy: Oh. Do you like your new teachers?
Alex: Yeah.

Alex: Why do you give me, the kinda cup I have, why do I have – why not.

Daddy: You’re not a cat! And that’s not a hat!
Alex: That is a hat, and I’m, indeed, a cat.

(Daddy puts bread in the toaster for Claire.)
Claire (to Daddy): Say “one, two, three, four, five”?
Daddy: Okay.
Claire and Daddy (in unison): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
Claire: Pop!


(Alex has been getting in trouble with Daddy.)

Alex (to Daddy): Can you be happy at me?

Alex: Daddy, when I’m bigger, can I give my boy and girl a timeout, if they don’t listen?
Daddy: Yes, you can give them a timeout.
Alex: I’m gonna find out how old they are.


(Alex has been in bed for at least half an hour. Suddenly he talks to himself.)
Alex: One, two, three, four, five, pop!