When the moon hits your head like a big pizza pie, moray…

(Alex and Claire are each in their own bed, but shouting to each other.)

Alex: Claire! Quiet time! You bet!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: Claire! Quiet time! You bet!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: Do it to me! Do it to me, Claire!

Alex: Are you being silly?
(Claire mumbles.)

Alex: I’m gonna come in your room!
Claire: Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Alex: Read me a story, Claire! Read me a story, Claire!

Alex: Claire, is it time to wake up?



Claire: I have a pink shirt with a flower on it. I like my flower.

Alex: The microwave is going fast.
Alex: The microwave is going fast.
Alex: The microwave is going fast.

(Alex is “biting” people with a monster made of two potholders.)
Claire: I do it to you, Mommy!
Claire (to Alex): Can I have my turn?


Claire: Mommy, I want uh sit in chair. I want a chair, and read.


(Alex looks at his dinner.)
Alex: Grapes, pasta, carrots, water!


Claire: I have my soft bunny.

Claire: I have Abby! And… my – my – my soft blanket… and I have…
Alex: Wait for me to talk!
Claire: No I’m talking.
Alex: No I’m talking.
Claire: No I’m talking.
Alex: No I’m talking.
Claire: No I’m talking.
Alex: No I’m talking.
Claire: No I’m talking.
Alex: No I’m talking.
Claire: No I’m talking.
Alex: No I’m talking.
Claire: No I’m talking!
Alex: No I’m talking!
Alex (to Daddy): May I talk first?
Claire: No I’m talking!
Alex (to Daddy): May I talk first?
Daddy (to Alex): What did you say?
Alex: May I talk first?
Daddy: Yes. We’ll take turns.
Claire: No I wanna talk too!! No I wanna talk too!! No I wanna talk too!!
(Alex says what he wanted to say, but it’s inaudible under all of Claire’s screaming.)
Claire: I wanna talk too!! I wanna talk too, Daddy!
Daddy: All right, what do you want to talk about, Claire?
Claire (suddenly perfectly calm): I like my books.

(Alex, Claire, Mommy, and Daddy make grumpy faces.)
Alex: Grumpy old troll!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: Can’t go under my bridge!
(Claire laughs.)

(Alex, Claire, Mommy, and Daddy talk about new things they did or learned today.)
Claire: I did my toys.
Alex: I learned something new at school. I learned about owls yesterday. And I usually learn about bats, but um, yesterday I learned about owls, and that’s a new thing I did!
Daddy: Neat!

Daddy: Claire, if you could have dinner with any three fictional characters, who would they be?
(Claire makes her grape fly through the air and crash onto her cup, with sound effects.)
Claire: Waaaahhh… bop.
Daddy: You don’t wanna answer that question? That’s okay.
Alex: You can ask me.
Daddy: Alex, if you could have dinner with any three fictional characters, who would they be?
Alex: They would be Grandma, Grandpa, and… Tyrone!

(Claire is shouting/singing about her family members, ending with…)
Claire: …And Gromit.
Alex: And Gromit. Some people call him Gromit, but we call him Grommie.
Claire: Grommie.
Alex: Sometimes I like to call him Gromit.
Claire (shouting/singing): Whoa, I love Gromit, and Mommy, and Daddy, and Alex, and Claire, and Mommy, and Gromit!

(Claire holds a grape stem across the back of her wrist.)
Claire: I have a watch.
Daddy: What do you have, Claire?
Claire: I have a watch. I pretending to be a watch.

Claire (being silly): I don’t like grapes.
Alex (being silly): I don’t like grapes.
Alex (fake crying): Ehhh-hehhh-hehhh.
Claire (fake crying): Ehhh-hehhh-hehhh.
Alex: I like grapes.
Claire: I like grapes.

Alex: Hey Daddy, may I sing you a song?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: What – what is that song? The one you haven’t singed?
Daddy: The one I haven’t sing? Which one is that?
Alex: Um… Moray.
Daddy: Oh, okay. You can sing that one.

(Daddy reminds Alex how it goes, and then Alex takes a turn.)
Alex: When the moon hits your head like a big pizza pie, moray…

Claire (pushing her stroller): We’re going to a party house!

Alex: Can you grab stars?
Daddy: What? Can you grab stars?
Alex: Can you grab a star?
Daddy: No.
Alex: Why?
Daddy: Because they’re too far away.
Alex: But – why are they too far away?
Daddy: Because they are.
Alex: They’re not too far away. I didn’t know they’re too far away.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: Hey Daddy?
Daddy: Yes Alex.
Alex: Can you be nice to me um – um before I go to sleep, because I’m – I’m very tired.
Daddy: Okay.

Alex (talking to himself): First you take the Z, then you add the Ass. Now you’ve got Zap.
Alex: That’s not a word!

Alex: Claire, it’s your pick tomorrow. Do you want to pick words or letters?
Claire: We’re not at breakfast.
Alex: We’re gonna do that at breakfast. And which one do you want?
Claire: Um.. Letters.
Alex: I thought you’d pick words.
Claire: ‘Kay I can pick words.
Alex: Okay you can pick letters.
Claire: Pick words, uh, letters!
Alex: Okay, words.


(getting ready for bed)

(Claire is lying down, waiting for Mommy to change her diaper.)
Claire (to Mommy): Come on over here!

(Daddy is reading the Backyardigans story “Pirate Treasure”.)
Alex: One day can we go to a pirate island?
Daddy: You want to go to a pirate island?
Alex: Yeah, with lots of soft, soft sand. And a jungle.

(Claire is giving out kisses before bed.)
Alex: No sloppy kiss today, okay Claire?

Claire (counting smiley faces, in a funny voice): Fourteen… eighteen… eleven… twelve… fourteen… eighteen… eleven… twelve!

(Daddy tucks Alex into bed.)
Daddy (to Alex): I love you very, very, very much.
Alex: Even when I’m sad and I get a timeout?