Stop saying strawberries!

(Daddy is getting Alex out of bed.)
Alex: Can I go tell Claire what she wants to watch downstairs?

(Alex and Claire are watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.)
Claire: Him mad at her.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Well, hi -- his name is Charlie Brown, and her name is Lucy.


(Alex finds chocolate muffin crumbs in his bib, from a prior meal, and begins eating them. Claire searches her own bib, in vain.)
Daddy (to Claire): It’s just a crumb. You’re not missing anything, Claire.
Alex: But there was a big piece, and it was called chocolate muffin.

Alex: Daddy, one day can I ride a fast boat, like this?
(Alex shows Daddy his waffle.)


(Alex and Claire are playing the “time out” game.)

Alex: You’re supposed to be in bed!
Claire: No!

Alex: Go upstairs!
Claire: No!
Alex: Time out!
Claire: No!
Alex: Pretend time out!
Claire: No!

Mommy (making sure it’s really just a game): Claire, do you want to go to pretend time out?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Okay.


Alex (pretending): I got a big giant sandwich to eat.
Claire (sounding extremely impressed): Wooooow!!


Alex (to Claire): I’m gonna read you a book.
Alex (beginning to read a book to Claire): Cinderella’s Time.
Claire (observing correctly): It upside down!


(Alex reads an ABC picture book to Claire.)
Alex: Apples and Pears.
Alex: Airplane is for A. Airport is for A. Ambulance for A. Ant for A. Apple for A.
Claire: That’s a shirt.
Alex: No that’s a apron.
Claire: Oh that apron.
Alex: Apron for A. And eggplant for A.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Bear for B. Boat for B. Bread for B. Baby for B. Button for B. Banana for B. Books for B. Ball for B. Bicycle for B. And… butterfly for B. Boat for B. Bowl for B. Bracelet for B. Beads for B. And… that’s all.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: C for camera. C for clown. C for cake. C for crown. C for car. C for camel. C for cucumber. C for cactus. C for crab. C for comb. C for crown.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Elephant for E. Egg for E. Envelope for E. D for dog. D for Dress. D for drum. D for dog. D for flower. D for…
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: G for um, grapes. Guh. Guh. Gorilla. Guh. G for, guh, guitar. Um, water. Fire engine. Ladder. Fox. Fan. Frog. And, fish. And… fire ladder. And fork.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Ice cream. For I. Doctor. Eye doctor. I. Ice, jelly. Hat. Brush. Horse. Helicopter.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Leg. Giraffe. Jelly. Juice. Pants. (Inaudible.)
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Motorcycle. Acorn.
Alex (to Claire): Hey don't! Don't touch the book!
Alex: Ladybug, and… light. Lion. Lemon. Leaves. Lamb. Mask. Motorcycle. Milk. Butterfly. Mushroom. Mouse.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Oranges. Octopus. Um, no. Ostrich. Owl. Crab. Nest. Acorns. And, beads. Nail. And, strings.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Um, O. Brush. Penguin. And -- peach -- um -- um -- um -- um… what is this, Daddy?
Daddy: Pineapple.
Alex: Pineapple. And what is this, I don't really know it.
Daddy: Potatoes.
Alex: Potatoes. Train. Peas. Pig. Pencil.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Bunny rabbit. Crown. Flower. Measure. Measure. Measure foot thing. Um rocket ship.
Claire: Rocket ship.
Alex: Um, well then. Um bracelet. Queen. Queen. And -- and bed.
Claire: And bed.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Um, socks. Slide.
Claire: Slide. Strawberries.
Alex: And measuring suit -- spoon.
Claire: Strawberries. Strawberries. Strawberries. Strawberries.
Alex: Stop saying strawberries.
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex (annoyed): Can you stop please?
Claire: No.
Alex: Sunglasses.
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex: (inaudible)
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex: Snail.
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex: Snake.
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex: Shovel.
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex: Strawberries.
Claire: Strawberries.
Alex: Stop, I said strawberries now.
Claire: Okay.
(Alex turns the page.)
Alex: Train.
Claire: Choo choo train.
Alex: Can you not say everything I say?!
Claire: Choo choo train. Choo choo train.
Alex: I know Claire, so listen to the book!
Claire: Choo choo train.
Alex: Stop!
Mommy: Claire. Stop doing that.
Claire: No.
Alex: Listen to the book!
Claire: No!
Alex: Claire's not listening to the book!
Claire: No.
Alex: Well then I'm putting it down.
Claire (upset): No! No!
Alex: Well then, listen to the book. Are you listening?
Mommy: Guys, it's time to wash hands.
Alex: I don't wanna wash hands.
Claire (running into the kitchen): Uh wash hands!
Alex (upset): I wanna go on that stool!
(Alex throws the book aside and runs into the kitchen.)

(Mommy explains that the "popular" step stool has been stashed away because Alex and Claire always fight over it.)
Alex (whining): We never whine!


(dinner)

Claire (excited): New plates! New plates! New plates, Alex!

Mommy: And new bowls too.
Claire: New bowls! New bowls!
Alex (jumping up and down): Yayyyy! New bowls!!

Claire: I like ketchup! You like ketchup?
Daddy: I like ketchup. Do you like ketchup?
Claire: Yeah, I like ketchup.
Daddy: Alex, do you like ketchup?
Alex: Yeah. Ketchup is my favorite thing to eat.

Alex: I have something stuck in my teeth.
Mommy: Well, we’ll get it all out when we’re done.
Alex: Well, I want dental floss.

Alex: I like french fries.
Alex (talking to his french fry): Hi, french fry. Are you talking to me?
(Alex laughs.)

(The dinner game is to name words starting with specific letters. Alex decides to start with “A”.)
Daddy: A is for… acrobat.
Alex: No. That’s not a word. A for… ax.
Daddy: What is an ax?
Alex: Ax is kind of like a hammer.
(Daddy nods.)
Alex: It looks like a hammer.

Alex: Let’s do E. Eggplant.

Daddy: Ed.
Alex: That’s not a word, Daddy!
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: Egg!

Claire (eating french fries with ketchup): Yummy! Yummy more, more, more, more, more, more.

Claire (reaching toward the ketchup bottle): Uh touch it. Uh touch it.
(Mommy moves the ketchup bottle closer to Claire.)
Claire (turning the bottle slightly): No this way!
Mommy: Okay, Mr. Monk.
Claire (smiling): Don’t say Mr. Monk. Don’t say Mr. Monk.