This is the sickest I've ever been.

Alex: Did you know Zach and Zane run even faster than me?
Daddy: No, wow.
Alex: Well, I might run faster today.
Claire: Alex, do you know why Max always bees mean to me?
Alex: Why?
Claire: Because he always runs, faster than me!


Alex: Zach and Zane have really good shoes, because, they're kind of black and blue, and mine are red and blue, but… theirs are sh -- they kind of look mean… so… they might have those kind of shoes, that go really fast… maybe it's because they're scary… scary persons run really really fast!
Claire: Alex, do you know why Max bees mean to me lots and lots?  It's because his shoes have Spider-Man on them!  And he doesn't know that Spider-Man helps people.


Claire: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes Claire?
Claire: Um, the house is made of nails, because the floor has to have nails.


Alex: This is the sickest I've ever been.

That bear likes to eat mommies, daddies, and Claires.

Claire: That bear likes to eat mommies, daddies, and Claires.

But the ABCs do stop.

Claire (out of the blue): Mommy, I want my own phone.
Mommy: You want a phone?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: What kind of phone?
Claire: A purple and pink one.
Mommy: Who are you gonna call?
Claire: Anybody.


Alex: You can never stop counting, right Daddy?
Daddy: That's right!
Alex: It just keeps on going and going.  There is no last number.
Daddy: That's right.

Alex: But the ABCs do stop.


Alex (to Claire): When you're 41 or 42, you're a grown-up!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: Yeah, but when you're one, you're still a kid.  No, when you're six, you're a kid.
Alex: I'm almost six.  I'm five.
Claire: And I'm almost four.



(In the car on the way to Claire's soccer.)
Claire (happily): Everyone's coming to watch me.


Claire (out of the blue): Daddy, I never see bad guys in the world.
Daddy: You never see bad guys in the world?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Do you want to see bad guys?
Claire: Yes.
Daddy: Why do you want to see bad guys?
Claire: I want to sneak up on them.
Daddy: Oh. That would be fun.
Claire: I just want to sneak up on one. Then I can go home.

I have a thousand keys!

Alex (to Claire): I'm gonna put you in jail!
Claire: Well I have a magic key!
Alex: Well I'm gonna take it! And put it in a box, that you can't open!
Claire: I have a thousand keys!

What makes the trees make shade?

Claire: I counted to seventy-seven!
Alex: Well Claire, do you want to count all the way to one hundred?
(Claire does, with Alex’s help.)

Claire: I counted all the way to one hundred!

Alex: Well Claire, did you know that one hundred is like counting again, like one hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred. Isn't that cool?


Alex: Daddy? What makes shade?
Daddy: What?
Alex: What makes the trees make shade?

So, we will write a letter that says "I don't want you to take my tooth, but I still want a present."

Claire: Daddy? Daddy...! Daddy, tomorrow, can everybody play my games?


(Mommy and Claire are talking about the Tooth Fairy.)
Claire (to Mommy): I don't want you to take my tooth. So, we will write a letter that says "I don't want you to take my tooth, but I still want a present."


Alex: Daddy? I sailed and fished in the boat that I built.
Daddy: Yeah? Cool!
Alex: I sailed to the North Pole.

I'm talkin’ like a grown-up.

Alex: I'm talkin’ like a grown-up.

Mommy (talking to Daddy): It has like four different readers.
Alex (in a grown-up voice): Yeah. It’s quite a lot of readers.
(Alex cracks up.)
Alex: I made that up!

Mommy, is it party then birthday, or birthday then party?

(Claire is wearing her soccer outfit.)
Claire: I can kick the ball really hard, and I can run really fast watch!
(Claire runs off.)


Claire: Mommy, is it party then birthday, or birthday then party?
Mommy: It depends when your birthday is. Your birthday’s on Saturday, so your party’s on your birthday.
Claire: Okay, so I get to blow out the candles, and get presents, and eat cake? On my birthday?

Daddy, is there real sharks in the ocean?

Claire: Daddy, is there real sharks in the ocean?
Daddy: Yeah, there are real sharks.
Claire: Right now?
Daddy: Yeah, right now.
Claire: Well, one time, when we were at the ocean, there were no sharks.
Daddy: Yeah, there weren't any sharks in the part of the ocean where we were.

Daddy, I know why ten comes after nine.

Alex (upset): She gets to do everything she wants. I get to do nothing I want.

Claire (upset): Well, Alex, you got to wash hands first. So what's the problem?!


Alex: Daddy, I know why ten comes after nine.
(Alex very clearly explains the base-10 number system.)
Alex: And then after the 1 ones, you do the 2 ones, and then the 3 ones…

We're like, real big kids going to school.

Claire: Daddy?  When the bird, found a worm, and take it up to their nest, will it hurt?
Daddy: No, it won't hurt.
Claire: Oh.  Well -- does the worm have eyes?
Daddy: No, it doesn't have eyes.
Claire: Well it might hurt them.


Alex: Don't you wanna put your backpack on your back?  I can do that.
Claire: Okay.  I'll be like a real kid going to school.

Claire: We're like, real big kids going to school.

You can't tell people your cards.

Alex: Claire! I counted to three hundred!
Alex: Three hundred and one, three hundred and two, three hundred and three…


Alex: Daddy, and I found a haunted book!  It said a haunted book.  It said "this book is haunted."

Claire: I really like this book!  I just read [pronounced "reed"] it all by myself.

Claire: I don't know the first page, but I know the second page.  The second page is when Mudge takes off Henry's sock!

Claire: We got lots of books.  Daddy, we got lots of books.

Alex: And this book is really funny, because, he takes off Henry's sock.


Claire: Daddy, when it snows, do we have scarfs?  Because Mommy has one?


Claire: Daddy?  I made a sho -- a shop!  And it was a barber shop!
Daddy: Wow!
Mommy: She gave good haircuts.  It was fun.
Claire: Alex -- Mommy liked the haircuts!
Mommy: I liked the haircuts.  Alex did too.  We were fighting over it.


(Claire and Alex are playing Go Fish.)
Claire: Alex, do you have any twos?
Alex: Go fish.  I only have eights, fives, and tens.
Claire: You can't tell people your cards.
Alex: Oops, sorry!  Try to forget it.

It’s taking a long time to be a grown-up.

Alex: Remember when I got lost on that island at Disney World?


(Julia made cookies and bread for the family.)
Alex: What's this bread?
Mommy: That's cinnamon raisin bread.
Alex: Raisin bread?  Yummy.
Alex: I like these things she made.
Mommy: I'll tell her.
Alex: Can I meet her one day?

Alex (after eating a cookie): She made some pretty good cookies!

Alex: She must be a really good cooker.

Alex: Daddy?  “A” can do a lotta things.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: “A” can do a lotta things.  It can do ah, uh, ay, aa!
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: And W can be silent!


(dinner)
Claire: It’s taking a long time to be a grown-up.
Alex: But Claire, when you’re a grown-up you have to do a lot of work. You might get really tired but you still have to do it.
Alex: Don’t you like playing instead?
Claire: I do, I like – but I also like being a grown-up. Because grown-ups don’t mind when they work.

Claire: Daddy, when I was sleeping, I saw a hand, but it was a green hand. When I was sleeping, at the beach.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Yeah. It was come – it was coming from your bed.


(Alex and Mommy are watching House Hunters.)
Alex: I think they’re gonna pick the third one.
Mommy: I do too.

(They pick the first one.)
Alex: They always pick number one!
Mommy: Do they?
Alex: Mm-hm. Even though it needs a lot of work.


(Grommie burps.)
Alex: Excuse you, Grommie.

I wish we were back there. I love that place.

(Alex wakes up Claire.)
Alex: Claire! I built something cool. I built something big. Something with animals.

Claire: I dreamed I explored all around the world. With Alex.


(Alex and Claire are putting on their shoes, and Alex is pretending they're firemen getting ready to go deal with an emergency.)
Daddy: And then we put out the fire?
Alex: No, there isn't a fire.  It's just, someone got their, their leg stuck in a fence.


Claire (re Disney World): I was a little bit scared of -- of the shark.

Claire: But I -- I love it.  I just wanna go there again.

Claire: When are we gonna go back there?


Alex: Like I built a zoo, I built two things today.  No wonder I'm tired.
Alex: We had play group, I built a zoo at night, I didn't sleep… I played outside…  I played play group when Tyler was here, and no one else came.


Alex: I loved being on the -- I loved the -- I loved -- I loved -- at Disney World, I liked hugging Minnie.  She was comfortable.

Claire: And I love -- I looooved the castle.  ‘Cause it was so big, and purple and pink, and all those splatting things.  Those things, up in the sky.  You know what they are?
Daddy: What?
Claire: I don't know.
Daddy: Fireworks.

Claire: I liked the fireworks, and the castle!

Alex: And remember we ate breakfast there?  We ate breakfast at the castle, right?
Daddy: That's right.
Alex: And we saw Ariel… Belle… Snow White… do you remember who else?  Who else?
Claire: Um… I think Ariel.
Alex: I already said Ariel.
Claire: No, Ariel has… red hair.  Red hair.
Alex: Yeah, I said her, I said her.  Ariel.  Ariel.

Claire: I wish we were back there.  I love that place.

Alex: Remember that show?  Remember the clown show?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: That was funny.

Alex: Remember that?  Remember this when we were in that dark tunnel one day?
Claire: Mm-hm.


(dinner)
Alex: The sun for the flowers gives them lots of nutrients, which is in the vitamins for the sun.
Daddy: That's right.


(bath)
Alex: I'm one.
Claire: You’re a baby.
Alex: No, a one-year-old is not a baby; a zero -- a zero person is a baby. You can be zero.


(Alex and Claire are admiring the zoo that Alex made this morning.)

Claire: Giraffe is my favorite animal, because I know what it’s called: giraffe!

Alex: Like I'm pretending there's a wall here, and they can't go there 'cause there's electric cords.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Electric cords. And there's a electricity box there.


(Alex finishes reading his bedtime story.)
Mommy: Good job, buddy.
Alex: You don't have to say that.


(in bed)
Alex: Daddy, I think Claire wants to get carried because she's tired, and, she’s saying "I'm tired" [said in a whiny voice] because she wants to get carried.

Yesterday? At breakfast, Daddy?

(breakfast)

Alex: Yesterday? At breakfast, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: I was, really smart. Because I ate all my breakfast.

Whenever I learn a new Spanish word, I add it to the Spanish words in my brain.

(Claire and Alex are watching Super Why.)
Claire: What’s that, that Princess Pea was riding in?
Alex: A carriage.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: It’s hooked to horses, but that was a long time ago.


(driving to school)

Claire: Is I’m still gonna be a mom?

Alex: Whenever I learn a new Spanish word, I add it to the Spanish words in my brain.

Mommy, you know what is blue?

Claire: Daddy, I’m gonna have a soccer, at Saturday, and when it’s finished, I’m gonna eat a popsicle, and one time, I ate it all up, ‘cause there was no peanuts in it!


Claire: Mommy, you know what is blue?
Mommy: What?
Claire: You have to think of it.
Mommy: Oh. Uh… the sky? The sky?
Claire: But it has to be down low.


(Claire is playing Old Maid with Daddy and Alex.)
Claire: I love this game. I love all our games!

There’s a lot of stuff going on in my nose.

(Claire has two chocolate bunnies.)
Claire: Daddy, after breakfast we’re gonna have this.
Daddy: Wow.
Claire: Mommy gave us this, and the bunny rabbit gave us this.
Daddy: Wow.

Alex: There’s a lot of stuff going on in my nose.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: This nostril is bloody and this nostril is goo.
Daddy: I’m sorry, buddy.
Claire: Like the goop place at the water game.
Alex: Yeah, but, it isn’t black. It’s yellow.
Claire: Yellow?
Alex: Uh-huh. That’s what goo is.
Claire: Oh, goo. That’s yucky. Goo is yucky.
Claire: When you eat goo, it’s yucky.


Claire: I’m eating his ear.
Daddy: That’s a big piece of chocolate!
Claire: Uh-huh.
Daddy: You must be a special girl.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: This special girl, when she was a baby, she grew into a girl that loves candy.
(Alex laughs.)


(in the car on the way to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house)

Alex: And it’s fun because there’s lots of trees on the way to Grandma’s. So you can play lots of tree games. Grandma lives in the forest.

Claire: It’s taking so long to get to Grandma’s house.
Alex: I told you, Claire.
Claire: It’s taking a thousand minutes.
Alex: No, it’s only an hour.


(in the car on the way to Riverside Diner)

Alex: I wanna sit beside Virginia. I like talking to her.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: And I wanna sit next to, um, Meg.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: And you, Daddy.


(in the car, driving home from Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house)

Claire (sadly): Daddy, when are we gonna go back?

Claire: But when are we gonna come back? I love Grandma’s.


Alex: Claire, I have a better idea. Let’s look out for faraway cars and try to catch up with them. Remember we did that on the way to Grandma’s?


Claire: Alex, can you count to one hundred?
Alex: I can, but I don’t really want to count that high.
Claire: Can you count to thirty?
(Alex counts to thirty.)
Alex: Do you want me to count to one hundred?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, thirty four, thirty five, thirty six– do you want me to start at one?
Claire: Yeah.
(Alex starts at one, and counts to one hundred.)
Alex: Do you want me to count to…
Claire: One hundred and one!
Alex: How about one hundred and ninety?
Claire: Okay.
(Alex keeps counting upward from one hundred.)

Claire: Daddy? When it’s your birthday, you get presents, right?
Daddy: That’s right.
Claire: Oh.
(Pause.)
Claire: Daddy? What day is my birthday?
Daddy: June thirtieth.
Claire: Oh.

Alex (still counting): One hundred and ninety five, one hundred and ninety six…
Alex (to Claire): What comes after one hundred and ninety six?
Claire: One hundred and ninety seven.
Alex: One hundred and ninety seven, one hundred and ninety eight, one hundred and ninety nine…
Alex (to Claire): What comes after one hundred and ninety nine?
Claire: I don’t know what is after that. I don’t know what it is. Just tell your own self what it is.

(After Daddy tells him that two hundred comes after one hundred and ninety nine, Alex ultimately counts up to two hundred fifty nine before reaching home.)

Nothing's better than candy.

Alex: Nothing's better than candy.

Claire: Nothing's the best, except candy.

You read the inside, and I'll read the front. ‘Cause I know that part.

(Alex is about to read “No, David” to Claire.)
Claire: I know what those words says, it says “No, David.” You read the inside, and I'll read the front. ‘Cause I know that part.

I never stop thinking, every day.

Alex: I never stop thinking, every day.

Alex: When I'm dreaming, my brain’s telling me a story.

Claire: Well Alex if I have a dream that is bad, and there's bad guys in it -- and I get hit, then I'm still there, but, if I get hit two times, then I'm back in my bed.

I couldn't decide if I want my Santa socks or my Stickers socks.

Alex (choosing his socks): It's hard to decide. I couldn't decide if I want my Santa socks or my Stickers socks. But I changed my mind. I'm getting my Stickers.

Y'see, Mommy? I wrote "Treasure Map."

Alex: Y'see, Mommy? I wrote "Treasure Map."
Mommy: I see!
Alex: T, R, E, C, H, R. It has two R's in it.

Well, “two-hour parking” means you can stay there, as long as you want, unless it’s two hour.

Alex: Well, “two-hour parking” means you can stay there, as long as you want, unless it’s two hour.

Can Max eat some of these bunnies when he come over?

(Breakfast.  Claire is eating her favorite bunny cereal.)
Claire: Mommy, can Max eat some of these too?
Mommy: What?
Claire: Can Max eat some of these bunnies when he come over?
Mommy: Yeah.

Whenever I see a potato chip, I really wanna eat one!

Alex: Whenever I see a potato chip, I really wanna eat one!

Can we watch a show, and then someone can give us breakfast?

(Saturday morning.  Mommy and Daddy are still in bed.)
Alex: Daddy, guess what?  I learned something all by myself, not even from any other person.  I learned that the two goes this way.  So if I see the five go this way, I know that it's a five, because the two goes like that.


Alex: Can we watch a show, and then someone can give us breakfast?


Claire: I don't wanna be a bird, because I don't wanna eat worms.  Ew!


(Mommy is dressed to go for a run.)
Mommy: Bye, guys!
Alex: You look silly in that!
Mommy: Thanks!
(Mommy laughs.)
Alex: Why do you look so silly?
(Mommy laughs again.)
Mommy: What makes me look silly?  My hat?  My sunglasses?
Alex: Your sunglasses makes you look cool!

Daddy, leprechauns came to our room today!

Claire (excitedly): Daddy, leprechauns came to our room today!  And they left footprints on the floor, and footprints on the table…  [Claire goes on and on for a while, very excited]

Claire (to Alex): The grass is green, just like our shirts, because it's Green Day.  And the grass is green.


(snack time)

Alex: Daddy, how does a Cheez-It sneeze?
Daddy: How?
Alex: Ah -- ah -- Cheez-It!
(Daddy laughs.)
Daddy: You made up a joke!
Claire: Daddy, how does a Cheez-It sneeze?
Daddy: How?
Claire: Ah -- ah -- Cheez-It!

Alex: Do know which favorite day the Cheez-It likes?
Daddy: What?
Alex: Cheez-It Day!
Daddy: Oh!
Claire: Do know which favorite day the Cheez-It likes?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Cheez-It Day!

Alex: Daddy, do you know what Cheez-It song is?  What its favorite song is?
Daddy: What?
Alex: Cheez-It, Cheez-It, Twinkle Twinkle Cheez-It!
Daddy: Oh!
Claire: Daddy, do you know what song a Cheez-It likes?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Cheez-It, Cheez-It, Twinkle Twinkle Cheez-It!

Except for U, X, and W. Those are the ones that don't do it.

(Alex had a bad dream last night.)
Claire (to Alex): I never have dreams.  You keep having them.  You just need to think about stuff!


Claire: Daddy, you want to see something in the back of me?  You want to see something in the back of me?
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire jumps,turning 180 degrees in the air, to show Daddy her back.)
Daddy: Whoa!  A pocket!
Claire: A back pocket!


Alex: Daddy, some letters start -- the sound that they make, they start with it.  Except for U, X, and W.  Those are the ones that don't do it.
Daddy: Good point!
Alex: C.  And C.  It starts with S.
Daddy: Yeah!

I'm really ready for kindergarten.

Alex: Yesterday, I wrote my name really good, so Miss Jones said, "You're ready for kindergarten."  And then she gave me a high five.
Daddy: Good!
Alex: I'm really ready for kindergarten.

Fluffy.

(Daddy picks up Claire from school.)
Claire (excitedly): Daddy, I painted a pet rock, but it's still drying.

Claire: You know what my pet rock name is?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Fluffy.

(Alex notices that Daddy wear a belt to work, but doesn't wear one at home.)
Alex: But Daddy, why do you need a belt?  Your pants don’t fall down at home.


Claire: Daddy, can my friend, Max, come to my house?
Daddy: Yeah, you want to set up a play date?
Claire: Mm-hm.  And I wanna go to his house.


Daddy: Aren't you guys too tired to play water game?
Alex and Claire: No!
Daddy: Don't you guys want to go to bed already?
Alex: No!
Claire: Look outside!  Is it dark yet?!

You're my best friend, Claire.

Alex (out of the blue): Clouds are like us, because clouds rain, and we pee in the potty.


(Claire, Alex, and Daddy went to Petsmart.)

Claire (to Mommy): We petted two dogs!  The first one was called Bear, and the little one was called Star.

Claire: And Mommy, they're so cuddly, and they were so soft.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: And we petted two of them.


(dinner)
Alex: You're my best friend, Claire.
Claire: You're my best friend, Alex.

Fat Cat is a long book. I think it might be the longest book in the world.

Alex: Oh -- I was gonna read a few books today.


Alex: Daddy, after I get dressed can you help me read Fat Cat?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Because I think that's more of my favorite book than Scat Cat.  I think I like Fat Cat more than Scat Cat.

Alex: Maybe -- maybe since I'm getting so good at it, maybe I should read Fat Cat by myself!

Alex: I'm really good at reading!


Alex: Fat Cat is a long book.  I think it might be the longest book in the world.


(Alex and Daddy are looking at Alex's baby photo album.)
Alex: I remember our cats.  But they died long, long ago.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: They're up in the sky.
(Pause.)
Alex: In a building.
(Pause.)
Alex: Is that Charlottesville?  It sounds like Charlottesville.

Daddy, why does the days -- the days start over and over and over again?

Alex: Yesterday was Jueves.  That's Spanish for Thursday.  And today's Viernes.  That's Spanish for Friday.
Claire: What's tomorrow?
Alex: Sabado.  And then comes Domingo!


Claire: I have to get my energy out!

Claire: Daddy, why does bunny rabbits poop so much?

Claire: Daddy, why does the days -- the days start over and over and over again?



Alex: After the ball game, can we watch House Hunters?

Claire: Daddy, I just -- I like my birthday but best I like spring.


(dinner)

Claire: I like everything you make, Mommy!

Alex (to Mommy): You make the best parts.
Claire: But you really make the best parts ever, and I like you!


Claire (to Alex): But I'm hugging you!
Alex: I don't like feet hugs.


(bed time)
Alex: I don't want to go to sleep!  I love this book!  I like reading!

(Alex is in bed.)
Alex: Good night, Daddy.
Daddy: Good night, buddy.
Alex: I hope you have fun watching TV.

I visited -- I visited -- I visited -- I visited -- I visited -- I visited Preschool 2!

(Daddy picks up Claire from school.)

Claire (excited): I visited -- I visited -- I visited -- I visited -- I visited -- I visited Preschool 2!

Claire (excitedly): I went outside -- and I went outside at Preschool 2!


(Claire got a birthday invitation.)
Claire: I think we should sit on the couch opening this.

Claire: Daddy sit right here, and Alex sit right here.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: So we both can see it.

Claire: Alex will sit here and Daddy will sit here and I will sit here.  So, Daddy you sit here because there's big space right here.
Alex: Well Claire, if you move over then Daddy will have more space.
Claire: Daddy now, you have even more space, because your bottom is so big.

Claire: Yeah, maybe, you guys… uh… Daddy should sit right here and Alex should sit right here and I should sit right here.

But there's purple in rainbows!

Claire: I'm happy at I got pockets on my pants.


Alex: I'm acting like a big boy today.


(In a book is a picture of a rainbow.)
Claire: Daddy, there's not purple in that rainbow.
Daddy: Oh, yeah.
Claire: But there's not purple in that rainbow!
Daddy: Oh!  You're right!
Claire: But there's purple in rainbows!
Daddy: You're right.  They did it wrong.


Alex (about Minnie Mouse): It reminds me of Disney World.

(Daddy is tucking Alex into bed.)
Alex: Daddy, I might be the nicest one in the family - the nicest kid in the family - because Claire's a little mean.

Soccer's over, Claire.

Alex: Soccer's over, Claire.
Claire: Oh yeah.  So, one of the days was soccer, and we had to go to soccer, and I liked it… and this day's no soccer.

I have a big head, and I have four feet.

(The family is playing the dinner game, pretending to be different animals.)
Claire: I have a big head, and I have four feet.  And I'm brown and white.  What is I'm?
Daddy: Gromit.
Claire: Right!

Daddy, today is March!

Claire: Daddy, today is March!
Daddy: That's right!
Claire: In here, might be, Blake's party.  Blake's birthday.

Yesterday at lunch I ate a burrito.

Claire: Daddy -- no Alex, when the cloud is tired of holding the rain, he lets go of it -- he lets go of it -- and it drops down to the ground.

Claire: So that's how -- so that's how it rains.


Claire: Hey Daddy, yesterday at lunch I ate a burrito?  Yesterday at lunch I ate a burrito.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Mm-hm.
Daddy: Wow.
Claire: But I didn't eat it because I didn't like it.

Thanks for caring about me.

Narrator: The Busy World of Richard Scarry.
Claire: It's not scary, that's the name of the show.


(Mommy is tucking Alex into bed.)

Alex: I wish I didn't have a virus or a cold.
Mommy: Oh, I wish you didn't have a cold, too.  Or a virus that makes your lips and tongue hurt.  So that you can eat and be happy.
Alex: Thanks for caring about me.

Isn't it taking a long time for Christmas?

(Claire and Alex are riding bikes, accompanied by Daddy.)
Claire (out of the blue): Daddy?  Isn't it taking a long time for Christmas?

(On the way home from riding bikes)
Daddy: Maybe Mommy'll have dinner ready for us.
Alex: I can't wait to taste it!  I love dinner!

How can the ball game come from the ball game to someone's TV?

Alex: How can the ball game come from the ball game to someone's TV?


Claire: How do you spell, "I - love - my - family"?


Claire: Daddy, how do you write -- how do you write -- I -- how do you write, um, "All my friends coming to my party"?

It's not scary.

Alex: Daddy!  I got a thank-you card from Richie!
Daddy: Oh great!
Alex: There's three pictures!  And it says something on it.  Mommy read it to me.
Alex: It came from this envelope.


Narrator: The Busy World of Richard Scarry.
Claire: It's not scary.


Claire (talking to herself): Nine, one, one.
Mommy: What's nine-one-one?
Claire: Fire chief!

He uses that for, a creditor, creditors who like to eat him.

Alex: We're not gonna fight today, right Claire?
Claire: Right.  And I'm -- I'm gonna listen to what you say, and… you can listen to what I say.  And we'll do whatever we say, right?
Alex: Right.


(Alex and Claire are eating toast.)
Alex (pinching his tummy): Me want toast!  Me want ticky toast!
Claire: Me want butter toast!
Alex: No, remember?  Daddy used to play that joke?  With the tummy?
Claire (pinching her tummy): Me want toast!
Alex (pinching his tummy): "Me want ticky toast!", that's what he said.


(Alex and Claire have been fighting.)
Claire: Somebody get along with me, 'cause I'm mad.



(dinner)

(Daddy rolls his eyes.)
Alex: It’s not nice to roll your eyes, because that means “Whatever”.


Claire: There’s lots of stars in space, and there’s lots of stars in space, like buh-ginia.
Daddy: Oh yeah?
Daddy: How many states are in space?
Claire: One, two, three.
Daddy: And how many stars are in space?
Claire: A hundred.
Alex: No, a million!
Claire: No a thousand!
Alex: No, it’s a million. Right, Daddy?

(Alex made a porcupine at school, and Daddy is admiring its quills.)
Alex: Daddy, you know what he uses those for?
Daddy: What?
Alex: He uses that for, a creditor, creditors who like to eat him.
(Alex goes on for a while describing how the porcupine uses its quills.)
Alex: That’s how he protects himself.
Daddy: I see. From creditors.
Alex: Yep.

Claire: If you touch the pokeypine, pokeys all over it, if you touch it, “Ow!” it will hurt really bad.


(bath time)
Claire: Help, I'm stuck on a rock 'cause there's tape on the rock that sticks to little girl persons that sit on it.


(Daddy commends Alex for drying himself off without any help. Claire pays this no notice, but Alex, apparently, senses that she might feel inadequate.)
Alex: Claire, it’s still okay to be small. You don't have to worry about big. I'll teach you some stuff. That I learned at school. And I'll try to teach you.

And that’s – that’s Virginia on her iPad.

(At the end of every show, ever; usually just as the credits roll, but sometimes earlier if it’s clear the show is coming to an end, Claire says…)
Claire: Can we watch another one?


Daddy: Did you have fun today?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: What did you do?
Claire: We went to the place where the, the plaything was in the… the big building.


(Today was Picture Day at school.)

Claire: We got to hold a bunny rabbit!

Claire: I like bunnies! I like real bunnies.


(dinner)

Claire (petting Grommie with her feet): Grommie feels like a bunny rabbit.
Alex: He’s soft and fluffy.
Claire: Yeah that’s why a bunny rabbit’s like that.

Claire: Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: When I was a baby, I called you “Dada”.
Daddy: That’s right.

Alex: When I was a baby, I said “Mama, buwah, Dada.”
Daddy: What does that mean?
Alex: It means “Mommy belongs to Daddy.”

(Claire and Alex are talking about raising their hands at school.)
Claire (raising her hand): You have to do this to raise your hand.
Alex: You don’t go “Hey! Gimme! Gimme a turn!”
Claire: No. You wait – you wait until the teacher looks at you, and then go, “What?” Right?
Alex: Yeah, they’ll say “Okay, it’s your turn, you can tell me your question.”
Claire: Yeah.

(Alex has a picture from school. It’s divided into four quadrants, labeled “baby”, “child”, “teenager”, and “adult”, and Alex drew a different picture in each quadrant.)

Mommy: Tell me about this picture.
Alex: That’s a baby, a daddy, a teenager, and grown-up.

Alex (talking about the “adult” quadrant): That’s Daddy, putting dishes in the dishwasher, and that’s the knife one, and the spoon one – no that’s the fork one, and that’s the knife one, and that’s the spoon one.
Mommy (pointing to the “child” quadrant): And what’s that one?
Alex: That’s – that’s a playset, and that’s me and Claire kicking a ball. We’re children.
Daddy: What’s the baby doing?
Alex: That’s a baby crawling toward her rattle.
Mommy (pointing to the teenager quadrant): And what’s that one?
Alex: And that’s – that’s Virginia on her iPad.


Alex: How do butterflies get their yummy nectar? Then.
Alex: How do they get the nectar? ‘Cause they don’t have a tongue to suck it up.
Alex: How do they get the nectar?
Daddy: Who are you asking?
Alex: You.
Daddy: Oh. Um… maybe Mommy knows.
(Mommy explains, and even shows Alex a picture on her computer.)

Claire: Daddy? How do you make the rain when it’s straight coming down?
Daddy: What do you mean, Claire?
Claire: How do you – you know how to make the rain? That is straight? You know how to make the rain?

Claire (holding dried apple chips): Mommy? How do you make this? How do you make what I’m holding?
Mommy: Um, you dry out apples.
Claire: How do you dry out apples?
Claire: How do you dry out the apples?
Claire: Mommy?
Mommy: I don’t know.
Claire: Oh.
(Pause.)
Claire: Daddy, isn’t it hard work to make a big house?
Daddy: It sure is.
Claire: There’s a lot of things to make a big house, isn’t it?
Daddy: A lot of things.
Claire: Mm-hm. Daddy, Santa comes through the fireplace, but how can he get out of the fireplace?
Alex: Well, I’m sorry Claire, but Santa doesn’t come through the fireplace, ‘cause we don’t have a chimney. We don’t have a chimney, right Daddy?
Daddy: That’s right.
Alex: So he doesn’t go through the roof, he goes through the door. We give him the keys on Christmas Eve. Right, Daddy?
Daddy: That’s right.
Claire: But where is a fun thing?
Alex: What?
Alex: What is Claire talking about? Do you know, Daddy?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Claire (firmly): Yes. I’m telling you that when is a fun thing, where we can go?

Claire: You just went to a party. You just went to a party. But I didn’t go there, because you just got to go there. But you’ll be sad – you’ll be sad for my birthday, because –
Alex: It’s not your birthday, it’s someone else’s.
Claire: I said, I said, it’s not my birthday because, because, I’m gonna go to Blake’s birthday.
Alex: Can I stay home with Daddy? I like my Daddy.
Daddy: Yes.
Alex: Can I stay home with Daddy, Claire? Can you go with Mommy, because I want to stay home with Daddy.
Claire: But I love Daddy, I want to go with Daddy!

(Blake’s birthday party is in March.)
Claire: But when is it March? It’s taking a long time for March to come.
Alex (in a reprimanding tone): Claire. I think you might be complaining about a different birthday now.
Claire: I’m complaining about…
Alex: …someone else’s birthday.
Claire: I’m complaining about Blake’s birthday.

(Alex answers Claire’s earlier question about rain.)
Alex: There’s a river, and it comes up in the air, but you can’t see it come up in the air, it’s invisible when it comes up in the air, and then it gets to a cloud, and then, when it’s too much water, it rains!
Claire: Yeah but then when he doesn’t want more water, and then he, he drops it!
Mommy: Who’s he? The cloud?
Claire: Yeah. He drops it.

Bye-bye, Frosty, I hope you have fun melting.

Claire: And look at the bottom of the deck! It’s covered in snow too!

Claire: Daddy, the bird bath is covered in snow!

Alex: Hey! The ball is covered up in the snow!

Claire: And the slide is covered up in the snow!


(The snowman is melting; Claire just saw his eye fall off.)
Alex: Bye-bye, Frosty.
Claire: Bye-bye, Frosty, I hope you have fun melting.


Claire (out of the blue): Now a different state is dark, because, this state is… up.


Claire: Daddy? I just beated Mommy, because I got lots of matches, so I’m gonna do that to you!


(Outside the barber shop, Alex sees a stream of water running down the sidewalk.)
Alex: Look, there's water. Let's investigate where it’s coming from.


(At the barber shop, Claire hands Alex a lollipop.)
Claire: Do you want this one, Alex? It’s called Root Bear.

Claire: I’m not asking for my birthday anymore.
Daddy: Good for you!
(Claire looks very proud of herself.)

(Alex shows Claire his ring from the barber shop.)
Claire: A pirate ring! Mine’s a flower. I like my pretty ring. I look pretty when it’s on me.

Alex: Mommy, I’m not messy, I’m just sticky.


(Claire comes up to Daddy and whispers in his ear.)
Claire: We’re not gonna have dinner any day. We’re not gonna do anything in our house.
Daddy: Oh, really?
Claire (whispering): Even dinner!
Daddy: Even dinner?!
Claire: Even bath, and everything.
Daddy: Wow.

Daddy! Are you coming out to play in the snow?

Alex: Daddy, it’s snowing outside!

(Alex catches a snowflake on his tongue.)
Alex: Needs sugar.

Alex: Daddy! Are you coming out to play in the snow?

Alex: It’s snowing faster!

Claire: Can we play kick to each other with this ball?


Alex: The grass is almost covered with snow!
Claire: And the mulch!
Claire: Now, we’re gonna have to put on our boots! And the deck!!


Alex: What if we just had a huge snowball and we dropped it. Then the – then the whole world would be covered with snow. What about that?


(Claire wants to help de-clutter.)
Claire: Mommy, all right, how ‘bout we find a box, and find all the baby stuff, because we’re not babies anymore.

When we get home, I’m gonna tell Mommy that I love soccer!

Claire: Mommy said that in that cabinet was candy, and we could eat some candy at snack today.
Daddy: Oh, won't that be fun!
(Claire smiles.)


Claire: Daddy, I counted 'til the waffle came up.  I counted how much numbers the waffle will come up.


(Alex is playing a song on his toy xylophone.)
Alex: This is a sad song.

(Alex discovers the secret of the xylophone.)
Alex: It's under here, Daddy.  A nail pops up.  And it hits these things.  So it can make a noise.  See?

Alex: You have to look very closely under.  Then you can see a nail pop up.  Wanna see, Claire?

Alex: And these things are musical, see?  So, that helps, the piano, make, a sound!

Claire: I can do another music.  It's a sleeping music.  Do you want to sleep, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
(Claire sings a made-up song while playing the maracas.)


(Claire is playing with the toy learning computer.)
Claire: I'm trying to do the flowers, but what do I do when he takes one away?
Daddy: Well, maybe you're supposed to count them.
Claire: I did count them.  I counted one two three.
Daddy: Well you need to press the button with a three on it.
(Claire makes a funny face, as if considering this odd suggestion, but decides to give it a try.)
(In Claire’s defense, the computer voice instructs the player to "Count the flowers that are left."; it says nothing about pushing a button.)

Claire: How do I -- what is this many?



(after indoor soccer)

Claire: Daddy? I had fun!

Claire: When we get home, I’m gonna tell Mommy that I love soccer!

See how I have cookies in my name?

Alex: Every night I think about Disney World.  I miss it.


Minnie Mouse: Why do you love cookies every day?
Cookie Monster: 'Cause I'm Cookie Monster!  See how I have cookies in my name?

The Three Little Fish and the Big Mean Shark.

Alex: Mommy?  How do you spell, "I'm sorry, Claire, that I yelled at you"?


(Claire tells Daddy about a book from school.)
Claire: The mommy was there and the baby was there and, um, the big shark came to the, first, um, fish house… and then… I went huff, I went huff and puff and crash your house down.  And then, um -- and then, with the, um, second fish, made a, uh, house, and… and then, uh… and then, and then he, second fish made his house, THEN, um, shark came and blew huffed and puffed and crashed his house down, and then the third little fish built his house it was a boat house, and then, the other ones was going to her house, but then, the big shark, the big mean shark, went, to the third fish's house, and crashed his house down too but he couldn't do it.  And then, he, went, he didn't have any teeth they all fell out, he couldn't… um… he couldn't, he couldn't… um… um he couldn't, get uhhh crash the house down, then he went and they all, the things, aaaand then he would get all the persons they went back to their house.  With the mama fish.
Daddy: What was the name of that story, Claire?
Claire: The Big Little Fish and the Big Mean Shark.  The Three Little Fish and the Big Mean Shark.


(Claire has rolled her pants up to her knees.)
Claire (grinning): I have short pants.


Claire: Daddy!  Daddy!  Something really bad happened!  Alex went potty, then he wiped his bottom with toilet paper, then he flushed it, and the toilet paper is stuck in the drain!

Yesterday was… that day, but today… is Valentine’s Day!

Claire: Yesterday was… that day, but today… is Valentine’s Day!

Claire: I’m really excited!


Claire: Why does it have hearts on it?
Daddy: Because hearts mean love.
Claire: Oh. What does pig mean?


Claire: Alex, today is Valentine Day! Is it exciting?
Alex: Um, yeah.
Claire: I’m really exciting. I’m really excited.

Why are my sticky hands so sticky?

Claire: I know what starts with leaf, Daddy. I know what starts with leaf.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: The end of it. The end of the name. F. F is the end of the name.
Daddy: Good!


Claire: I got a letter from Blake’s party! So I get to go there. Just me. See, it says “Claire”.

Claire: So I get to go there, not Alex!


(snack time)
Claire: Why are my sticky hands so sticky?


Claire: Daddy, could you play freeze tag with me?


(Claire doesn’t want to go upstairs to bed.)
Claire (whining): But I don’t wanna go upstairs, I don’t want to sleep. My feet want to walk, for a long time.

I’m in the middle of a book. I wanna keep reading.

(Alex is reading a Bob book, and Claire wants him to help her with something.)
Alex: How ‘bout you ask Mommy? I’m in the middle of a book. I wanna keep reading.

Alex: I like having Daddy time.
Daddy: Yeah I do too.


(Claire drew a picture.)

Claire: It’s our whole family, watching the baseball game.

Claire: That’s our family, and that’s the people on TV, kicking the ball.


(Claire hurt her toe. Alex drew her a picture.)
Alex: This is a picture for you, Claire. To make you feel better. And I put a heart on his head because I love you.


(Alex is playing with his computer while Daddy plays with his computer.)
Alex: My computer plays music like yours.

I wanna stay five! Forever!

Claire: Mommy, why do you know to go to places? Why do you know how to go to places?


Claire: I found it! I found it! It was shoved in a stroller!


Claire: Alex! But dinosaurs don’t be in jungle!
Alex: I’m just pretending, Claire.
Claire: Okay.

Daddy: You know what I love?
Claire: What?
Daddy: My kids.

Claire: You know what I love?
Daddy: What?
Claire: My family.

Alex: I wanna stay five! Forever!


(Daddy’s watching a basketball game on his computer.)
Claire: What’s that sound?
Daddy: That’s the players’ sneakers, they squeak on the floor.
Claire: But why can we hear it? They’re all the way in the TV, why can we hear it?


(It’s snowing.)

Alex: Wow! It’s getting windier and windier!

Alex: Hey Claire! Guess what! Some of the snowflakes are blowing away, that’s what it does on the computer. And I can really see that for real.

Claire: Oh! It’s snow on the deck!

Claire: It’s on top of the play set!

Alex: Hey! This part is almost covered up! Then we would say, “Where’s our backyard?”

Alex: It’s a real snowstorm here.

Claire: I need my boots, so I can go out in the snowstorm.

Alex: It’s okay for making snow angels on the deck, but it isn’t good for making a snowman.

Claire: Look at Grommie! He has snow on him!


(Claire and Alex are playing in the snow.)

Claire: Did you eat it? You can’t eat snow.
Alex: Yeah you can.
Claire: No, you can’t. You can’t eat the yellow snow.

Alex: Let’s have a snowball fight.


(Claire and Alex come back inside.)

Claire: Daddy, can you cut my hands up? They’re too cold, I want some new ones.

(Alex’s pants are all wet.)
Alex: Because everybody threw snowballs on me.

Alex: Mommy it was good that I had those messy pants. I’ll tell you why: I was having fun!

Claire: You only can eat the um, white snowballs, not the yellow ones.
Mommy: Yeah, how do you know that?
Claire: Because, I heared somebody tell me at school.


Alex: I wish there was another snow. I wanna have another snowball fight. That was fun.


(Alex and Claire are playing.)
Alex (to Claire): I thought you were laundry!
Claire: I wasn’t laundry!

How do you make a thing and how do you make lots of things?

(Mommy is tucking Claire into bed, and Claire has been asking lots of questions to stretch out bedtime.)
Claire: How do you make a purple flower?
Mommy: It grows from a seed.
Claire: But how do you make it purple?
Mommy: That’s just how it grows. I’m gonna go now, Claire.
Claire: But I hafta tell you something!
Mommy: Last thing, Claire.
Claire: How do you make a thing and how do you make lots of things?

Pockets in front!

(Claire just got dressed.)
Claire: Pockets in front!
(Claire does a 180-degree jump.)
Claire: Pockets in back!

I readed!

(Today, Alex found that he could read all the Level 1 BOB books. Then he taught Claire to read them too!)

Claire: I readed!

Alex (to Mommy): She didn’t need my help!
Alex (to Claire): You’re doing great!

Alex: You read that all by yourself!

Claire: I’m excited that I readed it!

Alex: You can go, Daddy, we’re gonna read by ourselves for a while.


Alex: You can’t drink the whole ocean.
Daddy: No, you can’t drink the whole ocean.
Claire: Yeah, because, you might have a lot of pee, and it might go all, down, your bottom, and you might pee in your pants because of all that.

Daddy, you have to wake up! We have a puppet show for you!

Claire: Daddy, you have to wake up! We have a puppet show for you!


Claire: Mommy, you can’t look at me, I’m still hiding your slippers.


(Alex and Claire are helping Daddy with the laundry.)

Alex (to Daddy): Can we always help you do laundry?

Claire: I really love doing laundry!

Alex: We have a lot of laundry to do today! Yay!


Alex (to Claire): Why’d you move your dreamcatcher?
Claire: I want it over there.
Alex: So it can get – get to your dreams faster?
Claire: Yeah.

If your leg falls off, how do you get a new leg?

(breakfast)

Claire: Daddy, I thinked about the beach, and I thinked about home… and I thinked about picking a purple flower that’s nice… and I thinked about chocolate… but my brain just thinked about nothing, it just sleeped and didn’t have any nice dreams!

Claire: I like puppies.

(Claire has been nibbling at her breakfast for an hour.)
Claire: Daddy, this is not enough food! Blueberries, this, and vitamin.

Claire (looking at her plate): Who ate those blueberries? Who ate those blueberries?
Daddy: You did.
Claire: No I didn’t. Oh yes I did. I feel the blueberries in my mouth and I did eat it.


(Claire and Alex are going outside to play in the backyard.)
Claire (to Mommy, brightly): Do you wanna go pick up dog poop?


(Alex is looking forward to watching the basketball game with Daddy.)
Alex: I wanna see if, if someone puts it in the hoop, and – I wanna cheer!


(driving home from soccer practice)

Claire: If your leg falls off, how do you get a new leg?

(Claire and Alex argue over which is faster: an airplane or a helicopter.)

(Alex comments on the painted line indicating the turn lane.)
Alex: It’s like the equator: it cuts the earth in half.
Claire: Who cuts the earth in half?
Alex: No, it’s just a line. One part is on one side, and one part is on the other side, but they’re still connected.

Claire: If there’s a big rock in the road, like a tree, a car couldn’t go on the road, because there’s a big rock there!


(lunch)
Claire: Daddy? I got a big crusty in my nose, and it was a oval!
Daddy: Oh!
Alex: Wasn’t it red?
Claire: It was red a little bit, and it was really black and yucky, and, watery!


(Alex and Claire are helping Daddy to fold laundry.)

Alex: Claire, did you know I can fold underwear?

Claire (to Daddy): You find the grown-up socks, and I’ll find the kid socks.

Claire: How do you inside-out a underwear?

Alex: Claire? How ‘bout you help me with the inside-out socks, and I’ll put the socks together, okay?
Claire: Okay.

Mommy: You guys being big helpers?
Claire: We’re helping Daddy fold laundry.

Claire: Is this inside-out? Or outside-out?

I know how to make apple sauce.

(dinner)

Claire: Alex I love the pizza!  Don't you?
Alex: Yeah it's too yummy.

Claire: My tummy's really growling!  What else, can, we, ha-wave?

Claire: I know how to make apple sauce.  You squeeeeeeeeeze a apple…
(Claire mimics the action and squints.)
Claire: … then the water will come out in the cup, then you close it up…
(Claire mimics the action.)
Claire: …and theeeeen, you just put a straw in it, and you eat it.

A little and a lots and a little.

(Daddy is buttering bread for the kids.)
Claire: I want mine to have lots.  Not lots, just a little.  A little bit of lots.  A little and a lots and a little.

How do you make nails?

Claire: How do you make nails?
Daddy: What kind of nails?
Claire: Like in a gate.
(Daddy tries to explain how nails are made.)
Claire: Yeah, then you put in a gate!
Daddy: Yeah!
Claire: After you make a gate. Daddy, you – you make a gate, then you put it in a gate.

What’s a tape cassette?

(Alex and Claire are watching Blue’s Clues.)
Steve: The clue is… a tape cassette.
Claire: Cassette?
Alex: What’s a tape cassette?
Daddy: It’s like a CD player.
Alex: Oh.


(Lunch. Alex is eating a squeeze yogurt.)
Alex: How do they make these yogurts? Because, that’s [indicating Claire’s cup of yogurt] how yogurts are, in bowls. I don’t know how they make squeeze yogurt.


Alex (out of the blue): Uh, is landfill the dump?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Oh.


(Alex cleaned up the playroom.)
Alex: I clean up a lot of stuff sometimes.

Alex: And I’m proud of myself already.

I think I should be with Claire, because, I think there’s gonna be a scary person.

(Alex and Claire are watching the Winnie the Pooh movie for the first time.)

(The animals are preparing to trap the Backsoon.)
Alex: I think I should be with Claire, because, I think there’s gonna be a scary person.

Alex: He’s swimming in the honey.
Claire: He’s swimming in the honey. He loves honey, doesn’t he?

(The movie is over.)
Claire: Daddy, I wanna watch it again, I love the show.

Well you’ll find kids.

(breakfast)

Daddy: What’s your favorite part of school?
(Claire thinks about it.)
Claire: Playing with my friends.

Daddy: Buddy, what’s your favorite part of school?
Alex: I think I like all of it.


(This sequence is not verbatim.)

(Daddy is doing Claire’s har.)
Daddy (to Claire): When you grow up, you can do your little girl’s hair.
Alex (in a deep voice): Thanks for the Diet Coke.
Alex (laughing): I’m a daddy.
Claire: But we don’t have kids when we grow up, because you (mumble).
Alex: Well you’ll find kids.

Alex: When we grow up, will you [referring to Mommy and Daddy] have the same faces?
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: But Grandpa had different faces.

Daddy: Why did you think Grandpa had different faces?
Alex: I just thought he might have growed a new face.

My wish didn’t come true.

Claire: Mommy, all the days when I’m walking, at home – in home, I never get tired.


Claire (running around the kitchen): I’m gonna get my energy out!


Daddy: Children. Children. Time to go upstairs, children!
Claire: Daddy, we’re not children, we’re kids!


(Alex wants to go outside and wish on a shooting star. Mommy explains that shooting stars are rare, but that Alex can wish on the first star he sees tonight. Alex and Claire go outside.)

(Alex comes back inside, disappointed.)
Alex (to Mommy): My wish didn’t come true.
Mommy: What did you wish for?
Alex: I wished I could fly.

I want somebody who’s real that can walk by themselves to be with me.

(Mommy tells Claire and Alex that they will visit the Montessori school tomorrow, but that Claire will have to stay with Mommy while Alex visits a class.)
Claire (sadly): I wanna go in the class.
Mommy: I'm sorry, it's only for kindergartners. It's only for five-year-olds.
Claire (sadly): I wanna be five.
Alex: Well, you're growing every day!
Claire (sadly): But Alex growed so fast.


(Claire is in bed and is scared. She asks for Mommy or Daddy to sleep on her floor. Daddy tells her that she has her friends – Piglet, Happy, Big Puppy – in her room to take care of her.)
Claire: But they can’t walk by themselves. I want somebody who’s real that can walk by themselves to be with me.

Now another state is getting ready to play. Because our state is so dark.

Claire: I have a sword.
Alex: Don't get my stickers!  Don't get my stickers!
Claire: I'm not.  I'm just gonna find a bad person, and shoot them.


Claire: Mommy, when Daddy was making something for us, when he was making spaghetti… he got the wrong cheese for us!  He got the wrong sprinkle!
Mommy: Oh!
Claire: He got the big ball.
Mommy: Oh, did you like that?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex (to Daddy): It's okay.


(dinner)

Claire: Daddy?  Now another state is getting ready to play.  Because our state is so dark.

(Alex and Claire are watching Science Kid.)
Alex: Daddy, we're gonna see a person we haven't seen before.  We're gonna see Gabriella's mom.

Claire: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Claire: How do you make the moon and the sun?
Daddy: Um… you don't have to make them, because they're already there.
Claire: Oh.
(Pause.)
Claire: Then how do you make a TV?


(Alex asked if there were people in the Mickey Mouse costumes. Mommy said yes. He didn’t say anything more about it, but seemed vaguely disappointed at the realization.)

Mommy, I don't want that big, uh, brown thing in my hamburger.

(Claire and Alex are role-playing, and they have to take Claire's baby doll to the hospital.)
Alex: We'll see you later, baby.  The doctor -- the… hospitaler -- will take care of you.  Bye.


Alex: Why do you have to wait for your food in a restaurant?
Daddy: They have to make it.
Alex: Don't they just, already have it out?
Daddy: No, 'cause then it would just sit there and get cold.
Alex: The what?
Daddy: It would just sit there and get cold.
Alex: Oh.
(Pause.)
Alex: Just tell them to make all the food at one time, and then, and then give everybody what they want.  'Kay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Tell the restaurant.


(Alex is excited about going to indoor soccer.)
Alex: I'm wearing my fast shoes, so I can get the ball from somebody!


(Mommy is making hamburgers for lunch.)
Claire: Mommy, I don't want that big, uh, brown thing in my hamburger.
Mommy: But Sweetie, that's the hamburger!


Alex: I bet the people in Florida are really happy!  Because they live close to Disney World, and they can go to Disney World whenever they want!

Claire: Mommy, you wanna see something cool?  You wanna see something cool?
Mommy: Okay.
Claire: I ate it all!


(dinner)

Claire: Mommy, when was I a big sister and Alex was a baby?

Claire: Daddy?  You have to listen to your body, and you have to listen to people!

Alex: I have a big, big giant tummy.

Claire (pointing at the table in front of her): This is a big mess.

Mommy, what would happen if all the elves got sick and it was Christmas Eve and they had to make toys?

Alex: Mommy, what would happen if all the elves got sick and it was Christmas Eve and they had to make toys?

Who growed seeds?

Claire: Daddy, I know how to grow things. You put seeds in the ground, then you put a carrot in, then you water it, then you go back in your house and go to sleep, and wait for it to grow.


Claire: Who growed seeds? Who grows seeds?


Alex: Daddy, if you don’t have somebody’s phone number, why can’t you just make it on the phone?

Daddy: How would you make it?
Alex: With the buttons. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. And then call them. And say “Hi!” How do you do that? You can’t do it, because, if you don’t have, a phone number, that’s theirs, why can’t you just – write it, with the numbers?

Daddy, when you get close to a birdie, it flies away.

Claire: Daddy, when I was on the playground, and I was going down the steps, my – a new friend pushed me.

Claire: You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.


Claire: Daddy, when you get close to a birdie, it flies away.

Daddy, it’s from Claire, and it’s for Mommy, ‘cause she is feeling sick.

(Mommy is sick, so Claire and Alex are drawing pictures for her.)

Claire: Mommy, since you like purple, I’m gonna give you pink.

Claire: You like flowers, so you have to hold a flower.

(Claire shows Daddy her picture.)
Claire: Daddy, it’s from Claire, and it’s for Mommy, ‘cause she is feeling sick.
Daddy: Oh, you’re so sweet.
Claire: And look on the front.
Daddy: Oh, what’s she holding?
Claire: She’s holding, her pretty flower.
Daddy: Oh!


(Claire and Alex are doing the Spider-Man jigsaw puzzle.)

Claire: Spider-Man is my friend because I like Spider-Man.

Claire: These are a hard puzzle but I can do it.


(A neighbor comes to the door selling Girl Scout cookies, and Daddy buys one box. After the Girl Scout leaves, Claire says…)
Claire: Daddy, I have a secret.
Daddy: You do? What’s your secret?
(Daddy leans down so Claire can whisper in his ear.)
Claire (whispering very quietly): We have a peanut allergy.


(Claire and Alex are getting ready to go to Neer’s birthday party.)
Claire (sadly): When is it my birthday, it’s taking a long time!
Alex: That’s what she always says when there’s a birthday.


Alex: Mine’s is the green one, yours is the red one.
Claire: No, yours is the green one, my is the red one.


Claire: Mommy, when she’s a girl, when she sees a different girl, she loves you.

I don't wanna be at home, I wanna be at Disney World.

(Mommy asks Alex what would have made the vacation even more fun.)
Alex: If we could stay here forever.


(The bus to the airport approaches.)
Mommy: That's our bus.
Alex: Yippee!
Claire (excited): We never ride on this bus!


(getting on the bus)
Claire: My shoe fell off!


Alex: I don't wanna go, I like our hotel. Daddy, I like our hotel, I don't wanna go home.


Claire: Look at that airplane! Alex, come, there’s an airplane!


(on the plane)
Alex: I don't wanna go back home.
Daddy: What?
Alex: I don't wanna go back to Virginia.
Daddy: Ohhh. Why not?
Alex: ‘Cause I liked seeing Mickey.


(The plane is approaching Richmond.)

Claire: When are we going to Disney again?

Claire: Daddy, when are we going to California?


(driving home in the car)

Alex: I had fun here.
Claire: Me too.
Alex: And now I wanna go home and rest.
Claire: And I'm gonna tell my friends all about it.

Claire: I wanna go home and pet my doggie.

Alex: I hope they like the transportation I went on.
Claire: Me too.


(driving home from the airport)

Claire: Mommy, why is the (inaudible)?
Mommy: To keep the cars from --
Alex: I can tell her. So, so nobody bumps into each other. And, do not drive on the white part because, the policeman will give you a ticket.
Claire: But Alex. I saw a white one go straight out like this.

Alex: Just going across it, and going on a different road? Did he do that?
Claire: No. (inaudible) It was a tiny straight one, it was just (inaudible) this way, no I mean this way, and it was so tiny, and we went over it.
Claire: Well, Claire, we went, that’s weird, just, I don’t know what that’s for if you just want to get on a different road’s just, I don’t know why.

Claire: I know what you should do!
Alex: What?
Claire: Shouldn’t bump into another car.
Alex: What if it’s an accident? If a bad guy does that. Only bad guys do that, then they put them in jail, or give them a ticket. If they do that.
Claire: Alex, when a policeman does – no, when a bad guy does, something to a car, um, the… um… policeman
Alex: He might get in jail, or get a ti—
Claire (upset): No I was gonna tell you that!
(Claire starts whimpering.)
Alex: I thought you were asking.
Claire: I was telling you.
Alex: Okay. I forget it.
(Claire says something very quietly.)
Alex: What? What?
Claire: The policeman come and put you in jail.
Alex: Uh, I heard you. I heard you now.
Alex: I heard you. That he puts you in jail.

Claire: Is this the highway?
Mommy: No, not yet.
Claire: Oh.
(Pause.)
Claire: But we were going fast.
Mommy: Yeah.
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, how do you make your car go fast?
Mommy: You press on the gas pedal.
Claire: Oh.


Claire: What’s this road called?
Mommy: Two ninety-five.
Alex: And this is the highway. Because we’re going faaaaaaast.
Claire: Mommy, is this the highway?
Mommy: Yes.
Alex: See.
Claire: Don’t say “see”!
Alex: Sorry.


Alex: Claire, say, bye, bye, um… uh, merry-go-round.
Claire: What?
Claire: Bye-bye, merry-go-round!
Alex: Because you like that ride, don’t you.
Claire: Yeah, because I like the purple horse.

Claire: Alex, I saw that (inaudible) more people are going back home.
Alex: And I like the Pooh ride.
Claire: Me too. But Alex, I don’t like the Pooh ride, and you don’t like it.
Alex: Well, I did a little bit.
Claire: I did a little bit too.
Alex: I – I was worried right from the lightning, and the rain, but, uh…
Claire: I was scared of the storm.
Alex: But, and I liked, Tigger’s thing. “Come bounce with me!”
Claire: Me too, and I was, and I, liked this thing too.
Alex: And (inaudible) stepping down on his tail.
Claire: I liked seeing Pooh.
Alex: And he had a (inaudible), he drinked up all his honey.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: He loves honey!
Claire: Yeah, he – he loves honey.
Claire: He was gonna eat his honey tree.
Alex: What?
Claire (laughing): He was gonna eat his honey tree ‘cause he loves honey.
Alex (laughing): Yeah.
(Long pause.)
Claire: He really loves honey!
Claire: He really, really, really loves honey!

(Claire is telling Daddy not to rest his hand on the back of Mommy’s seat.)
Alex: Claire, worry about yourself.
Claire: What?
Alex: Worry about yourself.
Claire: I can’t hear you.
Alex: Worry about yourself.
Claire: I can’t hear still.
Alex: Worry about yourself.
Claire: Yell.
Alex: Worry about yourself.
Claire: Do it a little louder!
Alex (whining): Mommy? Claire keeps doing that!
Mommy: I know.
Claire: And I can’t hear you.
Alex (whining): I know she can hear me, because, I’m talking in my regular voice.
Claire: Alex, you’re whining though, I can’t hear you when you’re whining.
Daddy: Claire Bear. Let’s just, not talk about that. You wanna talk about something else?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: What?
Claire: Uh… I don’t know.
Alex: Or we could play a game.
Daddy: Yup.
Claire: Play a game! How ‘bout I pick the thing that we’re gonna do. How ‘bout we find… a (inaudible)? How ‘bout we find a taxi?
Daddy: Okay, let’s find a taxi.
Alex: Now, Daddy has to find it before time’s up. Daddy has to find it –
Claire: Why does Daddy have to find it? I thought all of us have to find it.
Alex: Well, how ‘bout Mommy and Daddy do that, and, and you can tell us what to find, and I’ll tell you when it – when time’s up. If you haven’t found it, that’s too bad, if you did find it, that’s good.
Claire: All right. I’ll tell the thing right now, ‘kay?
Alex: Okay.
Claire: Let’s find – we shouldn’t tell a car because, it’s easy, right?
Alex: Yeah.
Claire: How ‘bout… … how ‘bout a taxi?
Alex: Okay.
Claire: Somebody find a taxi!
Alex: Go!
Claire: Go!

Alex: Time’s almost up.

Alex: Uh-oh.
Claire: What?
Alex: Just one minute left!

Alex: Time’s up!

Alex: All right. Let’s play again!
Claire: Then let’s find a sign.
Alex (laughing): Hey, that’s too easy! Time’s up!
(Alex and Claire laugh.)
Alex: More signs! More signs!
Claire: Then let’s do a different thing.
Claire… You said “signs”, and we already found –
Claire: There’s another sign!
Alex: Two signs, because I alr – I saw a blue one down a different road!
Claire: More signs!
Alex: Ah, we’re seeing too many signs, throw some of them away ahhhhh bang.
Claire: We threw all of them away.
Alex: Let’s find a car! I found a car ahhhhhh!


Alex: Look! Mommy, while we were gone my beanstalk grew!


(in bed)
Alex: I don't wanna be at home, I wanna be at Disney World.