I love you too. Can you hurry up and leave?

(Claire shows Daddy her used tissue.)
Claire: Look, Daddy, I got a big crusty!



Alex: Handy Manny and Bob and Pop are builders!



Claire (singsong, entering the pantry): Nobody can find me in here!
Claire: Say “Where’s Claire?”, Daddy!



Claire (to Daddy): You be a mommy worm again!

Claire: Daddy, you be a baby worm, and I’m gonna – my hand’s gonna be a bird!



(Daddy is tucking Alex in bed for nap.)
Daddy: I love you.
Alex: I love you too. Can you hurry up and leave? Because Mommy might come in.



Claire (to Alex, excited): Daddy’s going to Costco, Daddy! No, Alex!
Alex: Oh I know that.
Claire: And Mommy and Alex and Claire and…
Claire (throwing her hands above her head): …and everybody!



(At Costco. Daddy wanders off and then comes back.)
Claire: Daddy!
Daddy: Claire!
Claire: We didn't know where you were!

Claire: What did you walk – what did you walk – what did you walk to?

Claire: Trash can! Daddy, I saw a trash can!
Daddy: Wow.



(driving home from Costco)

Alex (pointing to the car dealership): That's the car store, where you can get your tires fixed.

Alex: If you run out of air.
Alex: Or your bus, or your truck. Um, airplanes don't have tires, right?
Daddy: Actually, they do.
Alex: Oh. But not a helicopter.

Alex: Not a helicopter and not a rocket ship.

Claire: What's this road?
Daddy: This is Gaskins. Do you know why it’s called Gaskins?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Why?
Alex: Because you can buy gas on it!

Alex: I saw a stack of clothes.

Claire: I saw um a black trailer.

Claire: What's this song?
Mommy: I don’t know.
(The song continues playing.)
Song’s chorus: Would you hold it against me?
Alex: It’s, it’s um – “Hold It Against Me.”

Alex: Hey Daddy, um, on Caillou, Caillou was at home, and his mommy and daddy went to a party, and his grandpa came over, and Caillou said “Is that your surprise, in the bag?”, and his grandpa said “No, these are my dirty socks.”
(Alex cracks up.)

Claire: A motorcycle!

(This is a few minutes after the first time Alex told this story.)
Alex: And Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Alex: When Caillou got up, and Mommy and Daddy were getting ready for the party, Grandpa came over and Caillou said “In that bag, is that my surprise?”, and Grandpa said “Those are my dirty socks.”
(Alex laughs.)
Alex (sincerely): Did I already tell you that?

(The car passes Primrose.)
Mommy: They're gonna expand the parking lot.
Alex: What's a parking lot -- why are they gonna expand -- what's “expand” mean?

(The car enters our neighborhood. Everyone is, of course, still in the car.)
Claire: Did you make dinner, Mommy?
Mommy (sarcastically): Um, yeah.
Alex (astounded): Already?!



(Alex is lying in bed.)
Alex: I love you too, Elly.
Alex: Now, go to bed, okay?
Elly: Okay.

Elly: Let’s play, Alex.
Alex: No Elly, time to sleep. Isn’t everybody tired?


Alex: I’m gonna sleep on Bobo.
Bobo: Alex, do you love me?
Alex: I love you, Bobo. I also like to sleep on you, but when you get hot, I don’t like to sleep on it.
Alex: But you can’t feel it.
Bobo: Yeah I can’t. Not me.
Alex: I know, I love you.
Alex: You guys, can’t you not wake me up again? I am trying to sleep. And I want to.
Bobo: Okay.
(Bobo whimpers.)
Alex: Even when I’m sleeping I love you, even when I’m mad, even when you get timeouts, even when you are, when it’s your birthday, I love you lots and lots and lots.


Alex: When their light is on, they’re awake.
(Bobo mumbles.)
Alex: Well they have to clean up a little bit.
(Bobo mumbles.)
Alex: They don’t sleep, even when they’re in bed, they’re not in our room.
(Bobo mumbles.)
Alex: I’m your daddy, but I call my daddy “Daddy”. Because our daddy’s – our big guy, the big man is daddy, and the little woman is mommy.
(More conversation ensues.)
Alex (sounding frustrated that Bobo won’t leave him alone): I have to get some sleep!
(Alex sighs, sounding put-upon.)


(A few minutes later.)
Alex (frustrated): ‘Cause! I do love you! Now I need to sleep, I need to drift, I need to drift off to sleep.

When Meg comes here, can we play with Meg, and not with you?

Alex (to Daddy): When Meg comes here, can we play with Meg, and not with you?

Claire (excited): Daddy, Meg is gonna come here!



(Alex has just watched two TV shows.)
Alex: Daddy? Is three too much and then my – my, my – my brain will turn mushy?
Daddy: Yeah. Did Mommy tell you that?



(Alex and Claire are putting their socks on their hands, and pretending they’re gloves.)
Alex: I’m gonna go in the garden for a minute. Will you come with me? I’m gonna pick some more weeds.

Can you play with me, Daddy? I like to play with you.

Claire: Can you play with me, Daddy? I like to play with you.

Our house is turning!

(Claire is carrying a book and some stuffed animals.)
Claire: I wanna read this book for the animals.



(Claire has been spinning around, and is now dizzy.)
Claire: Our house is turning!

Claire: Look Daddy, our house turns. Like this.

Alex: When I turn around, I get dizzy, and then means that the house looks like it’s moving, but it’s not really turning.

‘Cause you love me?

(Claire draws a picture.)
Claire: Look Daddy, I made… a couch.
Daddy: A couch? Oh, good!
(Claire colors some more.)
Claire: Now I made a big couch.
Daddy: Oh, good.

(Claire draws a boy.)
Daddy: What is he doing?
Claire: Um, he is flying with his feet, and his – his feet, and his hand, and his hand.
Daddy: Oh.
(Claire draws some more.)
Claire: He has a big, big, hair. Look. That’s a big hair.
(Claire draws some more.)
Claire: And that’s a big hair, and that’s a big hair.

(Alex and Mommy come inside from playing in the backyard.)
Claire: Wanna color, Alex? Daddy got you a chair if you wanna color. You wanna color? Alex, you wanna color?
Alex: Okay.
Claire: Daddy got you a chair.
Alex: Mm? Okay.

Alex: Look at Lucy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Look at Elmo’s teeth.
Daddy: Yeah.
Daddy: Can you hold it up so I can see?
(Claire holds up her picture.)
Daddy: They’re very purple. And Lucy’s very black.
Alex: She’s covered in smoke.
Alex: Black – black doesn’t show up, maybe I’ll use a lighter color.

Alex: Look. Look. Look at Linus’s shoe. It’s orange.
Daddy: Yeah.

(Much later, the kids have been coloring for a long time. Claire moves her chair and her coloring book over next to Alex.)
Claire: I’m going to sit beside you.
Alex: ‘Cause you love me?
Claire: Yeah, ‘cause I love you.
Alex: Thank you Claire, I love you too.

(A few minutes later, Alex looks over at what Claire is coloring.)
Alex: Is that – do they – is that – do they – it looks like Bert has pajamas on.
Claire: He has –
Alex: Does he have pajamas on?
Claire: He has, ‘jamas pants. And he has ‘jamas, a green shirt.
Alex: Yeah. He has green… green pajamas.
Claire: Yeah. I’m drawing him a green hand.
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: His hand is inside hiiiiis… pajamas.
Claire: Yeah. It’s like – it’s almost like a glove. It’s like a glove.
Alex: Look! Abby’s gonna catch Elmo. They’re gonna catch flies. She’s gonna catch that fly and Elmo, too. They got nets.

Alex: Look, Daddy. Snoopy’s sad, because he’s colored all in purple.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: He doesn’t like purple. But he’s -- he’s in front of a rainbow but he doesn’t know that, and he turned purple. And then he’s gonna turn orange.

(Alex spontaneously gives Claire a lengthy explanation of how, when his arm gets tired, he colors a different page in the coloring book – and he concludes with the following piece of advice.)
Alex: So you know that, if you, if your arm gets tired, you do what I, I told you okay?
Claire: Okay.
(A few seconds pass in silence.)
Claire: My arm is ge–- is tired.
Alex: Okay, so then –- is it tired for real, like –- when I’m coloring all this a lot, maybe my arm will get tired, because my arm is tired, but my arm’s not tired yet. I didn’t color a lot, look Claire. If your arm gets tired, you can just stop coloring and color a different page. You wanna color a different page because your arm’s tired, right?
Claire: Yeah.
(Claire starts coloring a different page.)



(dinner)

(Claire sees the Minnie Mouse spoon sitting beside her plate.)
Claire: I have Mickey Mouse on my foon.
Alex: Can I see it? Can you show me?
Claire: I have Mickey Mouse on my foon.
Daddy: You have Mickey Mouse on your spoon?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: No you have Minnie Mouse.
Claire: No, Mickey Mouse.
Alex: No, Minnie Mouse.
Claire: No, Mickey Mouse.
Alex: No, Minnie Mouse.
Claire: No, Mickey Mouse.
Alex: No, Minnie Mouse.
Alex: Claire, can I see it?
(With a flat expression and without taking her eyes off of Alex, Claire picks up her spoon from the table and slowly moves it into her lap, where Alex can’t see it.)

(Without warning, Daddy suddenly reads aloud a selection from his book.)
Daddy: “Ping left his car in visitor parking and walked the three blocks to the library. Night had fallen and the evening was cool. The air was fresh and the world seemed –“
Alex: Is that a story?
Daddy: Yeah, do you like it?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: “—the world seemed clean and full of promise.
Claire: I like the story!
Daddy: You like it too, okay.
Daddy: “The full moon lent a silver sheen to the cobblestone walkway and the surrounding grass. He walked forward clearing his mind, making room for inspiration.”
(Pause.)
Daddy: Okay guys, what’s the story about?
Alex: A person.
(Daddy laughs.)
Daddy: Good, a person! And what else?
(Alex thinks.)
Alex: Fresh!
(Daddy laughs again.)
Daddy: And it has the word “fresh” in it.
Daddy: What did the person do?
Alex: He walked three blocks to the library.



(Alex is in bed, and Mommy and Daddy are downstairs watching TV. Daddy sneezes.)
Alex (from his bed): Bless you.
Daddy: Thank you.
Alex: You’re welcome, Daddy.

And roll down the stairs. And hurt myself.

Claire (going down the stairs): I’m gonna stand up and hold the railing ‘cause I’m gonna fall.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: And roll down the stairs. And hurt myself.



(Claire successfully puts trash in the kitchen trash can by herself.)

Claire: It didn’t go on me!

Claire: It didn’t get me!

Why shouldn't you park your truck beside a volcano?

Alex: Why shouldn’t you park your truck beside a volcano?

Alex: I thought you were gonna put a earthquake on my bucket list.
Daddy: Do you want me to do that?
Alex: No, because I don’t wanna do that, but can I draw one?
Daddy: Okay.

Alex: I’m gonna draw a earthquake with a truck going through it!

Alex: Can you tell me when there was a earthquake in – in – Vecavia?



(dinner)

Alex: Tell me a earthquake, Mommy. Please?
Mommy: Really, again?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: There’s nothing really to tell. There was just a little rumbling. It was like thunder.
Alex: How’d it go? Can you tell me the rumble?

Alex: In Vavacania, and there was, [Alex shakes his own chair violently] “Shake! Shake shake shake shake shake shake!” Look Daddy, this is a big one!
Alex: You hear the cracking? The building is falling over!
(Alex falls on the floor.)

These are for Daddy and me!

(Alex and Claire are playing on the play set.)

Alex (to Daddy): We’re playing Jack! I’m Jack, and Claire’s trying to get the golden eggs back.

Alex: Mommy, we’re having fun!!



(Claire is helping to unload groceries, and comes across a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats.)
Claire: These are for Daddy and me!

I don’t like jelly sandwiches. I like cheese sandwiches. Except I take the cheese off.

Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: I’m all dressed!

Alex: The sun’s out. And the moon’s on the other side of the Earth. It’s night time for... for, for... for the Earth beside us.



Claire: I need to go to the dentist, too.
Daddy: Yeah, you can go to the dentist like Caillou.
(Long pause.)
Claire: And can I be Caillou one day?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Can I be Caillou one day?
Daddy: Yeah, you can be Caillou one day.
Claire: Okay.



Claire: Mommy, he rolled in a – in a poop.
Mommy: Oh.
Claire: And Daddy washed him.



Alex: I don’t like jelly sandwiches. I like cheese sandwiches. Except I take the cheese off.



Alex: Well this firefly just sits down and eattes his snack. He doesn’t fly around.



(Claire puts the toy pliers on her big toe.)
Claire (matter-of-factly): Daddy, I have no toe. I cut it. It’s in the landfill.



Alex (playing by himself): My car isn’t working properly.



Claire (playing by herself): A beanstalk is coming! What are you doing, beanstalk?

We have cute grown-ups.

(Claire puts on her polka-dot shirt.)
Claire (proudly): I have perkle dots.



(Daddy is drinking coffee.)
Alex: He can eat his coffee.
Claire: Coffee is not eating!
Mommy: No, it’s not.
Claire: It’s drinking.
Mommy: That’s right.
Alex: You can eat coffee.
Claire: No. You drink it.
Alex: You can eat it.
Claire: No.



Caillou: Hi everybody. Do you wanna play a game with me?
Claire: Yeah!
TV voice: Yeah!
Claire: Yeah!
TV voice: Yeah!
Claire: Yeah!
TV voice: Yeah!
Claire: Yeah!

Alex: Can we go visit Caillou? No!
Alex: Can we go visit Caillou? No!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: We can’t.
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: It would be a, it would be a – we couldn’t find it anywhere.



(Daddy is looking at a picture that Alex drew at school.)
Daddy: Tell me about this picture, Alex.
Alex: That’s Mommy and that’s Daddy and you’re dancing. Alex and Claire are already in bed, but you have a drink.
Daddy: Alex and Claire have a drink, or Mommy and Daddy have a drink?
Alex: Mommy and Daddy. And these are balloons. And these are toys for Claire and Alex. And you have your big house to keep you safe.



(Alex and Claire are sitting at the coffee table, with some toy food and stuffed animals arranged on the table.)
Alex: We’re having a party!
Daddy: Oh, neat! Look at that!
Alex: We uh – we invited some friends over.

Claire: Who wants a plate?
Daddy: I do!
Claire: You want this one or this one?
Daddy: This one.
Claire: Okay.

Claire: Here’s a plate!
Mommy: Thanks!
Claire: There’s nothing in there. On there.
Mommy: Okay.
Claire: I’ll get some food.
Mommy: Okay.

Claire: Here’s some food, Mommy.
Mommy: Oh, thanks.
Claire: That’s a carrot, and this is, um, a sandwich.
Mommy: Oh, okay.

Claire: I’ll be right back.
(Claire runs off to get some more stuff for Mommy.)

Claire: Mommy, you want four, or three?
Mommy: Um, three.
Claire: Okay.
Mommy: Thank you.
Claire: That’s some water. That’s some water for you.
Mommy: Thank you!

Claire: Now let’s dance around!!

Claire: I need to go to the (mumble) and get some toasters.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: And some bread. I need to go to the (mumble) and get some bread and some toasters.
Mommy: Okay.

Claire: Mommy, I wanna go pee-pee on the potty.
Mommy: Okay.

(Alex is playing with the Abby wand.)
Alex (semi-singing): Here we go, here we go, waving this – waving this wand! And then, it is a scrond!

Alex: The bed is a giraffe, it turned into a giraffe. Look.
Daddy: Neat! How did you do that?
Alex: I did it with this wand.
Alex: Your computer is – is – is money. See?
Daddy: Wow! How much money is it?
Alex: F – ummmmmmmm…
(Long pause.)
Alex: Thirty.
Daddy: Thirty trillion dollars?!
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: You spend too much money.

(Claire has the Abby wand.)
Claire: Daddy, I’m gonna turn you to um Claire.
Daddy: Hi, I’m Claire.
Claire: Now I’m gonna turn you back to Daddy.
Daddy: Hi, I’m Daddy.

Claire (to Grommie): I’m gonna turn you to Alex.

Mommy: Tell Daddy what class you were in today.
Claire: I was in Miss Arnold’s class.
Daddy: Oh good! That’s a fun class, isn’t it?
Claire: I was happy in Miss Arnold’s class.
Daddy: Good!



(Alex puts on one sock and his pants.)
Alex: I have one sock on, and two feet in my pants!
Alex (laughing): My foot is cold, my sock is on, my teeth are gold, I have a bird I like to hold.
(Mommy and Daddy laugh.)
Daddy: That’s good!
Alex: Now my story is all told!



(Everyone is getting ready to get in the car.)
Claire: Don’t forget me!

(Alex picks up Mommy’s pen and puts on Mommy’s sunglasses.)
Alex (pretending to be Mommy): What’s on my grocery list? Okay, I’ll write it down.
(Alex pretends to write something down.)
Alex: I need eggs and circle bread.
(Alex looks in the pantry.)
Alex: What’s next?
Alex: Some soda, and, that’s all.
Alex: All done.



(dinner)
Mommy (to Daddy): We have cute kids.
(Pause.)
Alex (to Mommy): We have cute grown-ups.



(Alex has just brushed his teeth. Daddy is downstairs. Alex shouts down the stairs.)
Alex: Daddy!
Alex: Daddy?!
(Daddy goes to the bottom of the stairs; Alex is standing at the top.)
Daddy: What is it, Bud?
Alex: You wanna look at my teeth?
(Alex stands with his mouth wide open.)
Daddy: Yeah.
(Daddy goes up the stairs and looks in Alex’s mouth.)
Daddy: Wow, you did a good job! You’re a good tooth brusher!
Alex: Yeah. I’m getting bigger.



(Claire fusses several times in the middle of the night, each time making Mommy or Daddy come in to calm her down. This exchange is just one such trip.)
Claire: What is it on my clock?
Daddy: 1:19.
Claire: Oh.

This morning, when the sun came up, I was comfortable in my bed. And I wanted to stay in my bed and be comfortable.

(Claire is getting dressed.)
Claire: My pants are red. I know how to make red.
(Claire signs “red”.)
Claire: That’s red.



(Breakfast. Alex and Claire are drinking out of the Elmo cups that they brought home from Busch Gardens last summer.)
Claire: Why we have these cups?
Daddy: Mommy just picked them out today.
Claire: It has Elmo on it!
Alex: We had these at Busch Gardens!

(Alex is being grouchy with Daddy.)
Alex (grumpily): You’re not getting my waffle.
Daddy: It’s in the toaster.
Alex (grumpily): It’s already been in the toaster.
(Daddy looks at Alex and laughs. Alex cracks a smile, then regains his composure.)
Alex (grumpily): I am being serious.

Alex: I wanna go play with Jaap.

Alex: But Jaap is really, I play with him now. But I don’t play with Neer and Callum now.

Alex: When someone’s not playing with me, and I’m playing with them, um, I find somebody else and I make them my new friend.
Daddy: That’s a good idea!

Alex: I’m all done. No – I want more waffle.
Claire: You’re – um – you’re gonna eat a lot of waffle, and your tummy will hurt!
Alex: No. Three is not a lot.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: I’m eating three.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: And that’s not a lot.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: And after this waffle, maybe I’ll be done, I – I don’t know.


Alex: This morning, when the sun came up, I was comfortable in my bed. And I wanted to stay in my bed and be comfortable.


(Alex is having trouble with his zipper.)
Alex: I need to be a little bigger so I can do this.



(Claire and Alex come home from school.)

Mommy (to Claire): Tell Daddy.
Claire: I goed in Miss Arnold’s class!
Daddy: Wow!
Claire: Me and Morgan goed in there!

Daddy (to Alex): What did you say when you came in Mommy and Daddy’s room this morning?
Alex: “I got dressed!”
Daddy: Yeah, I liked that!
Mommy: Me too.
Daddy: And why did you do that?
Alex: Because I wanted to make you happy.

(Claire is taking off her shoes.)
Claire: I want – I want my socks still on. ‘Cause I – I don’t want my band-aid to not hurt.

(Time to go upstairs for nap.)
Alex: I’m super-fast, Mommy.
Mommy: You’re gonna go super-fast?
Alex: Yeah.
Claire: I’m super-fast!
Alex (running to the stairs): Mmmmmmmmm!!
Claire: One, two, three, super-fast!
(Claire runs to the stairs.)
Mommy: Wow.



Claire: Daddy, I’m gonna make a book! I’m gonna draw a book! I’m gonna draw Percy… and Mudd [?]… and James… and, um… Percy and Thomas. And James.



(playing in the backyard)

(Claire goes down the big slide all by herself.)
Claire: I didn’t need a hand!
Mommy: You didn’t?!
Claire: I didn’t need a hand, I went down by myself!

(Claire goes down the slide.)
Claire (to Daddy): You didn’t watch me.

Claire (at the top of the slide): Watch me, Daddy!
(Claire goes down the slide.)

Claire (at the top of the slide): Watch me go, Alex!
(Claire goes down the slide.)

Alex (cheering on Claire): Go go Claire! Go go Claire! Neer and Callum, and Claire!

Eliane? Claire doesn’t want Remy to play with her baby.

(Mommy is putting Claire’s shoes on so she can go play in the backyard. Callum is already out there.)
Claire: Hurry! Callum’s outside! Hurry! Hurry! Callum’s outside!



Alex (sliding down the stairs on his bottom): This is the easier way to go down, because you don’t have to do anything, and walk down the stairs!
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: And slide down!



(Remy is playing with Claire’s baby doll, and only Alex notices Claire’s reaction.)
Alex: Eliane? Claire doesn’t want Remy to play with her baby.
Eliane: Claire, do you not want Remy to play with your baby?
(Claire shakes her head, holding back tears.)

Oh, hi. Hi, Grandma. It’s Steph.

Claire: We made a bathtub!


Claire: Look, I made a J with two fingers.


Claire: Do you wanna read books while Mommy’s making?


(Mommy is listening to a telemarketer on speakerphone. He talks for a long time without letting Steph get a word in edgewise.)
Alex: What? What was that long word mean?



(Alex is playing with little people in his toy house.)
Little person: Oh, hi. Hi, Grandma. It’s Steph.

What does it say on my clock?

(Alex and Claire come home from school.)
Alex: I got Valentines!



(Alex and Claire have lollipops.)
Alex: Mine tastes like chocolate!
Claire: Yeah let’s lick it!



(Alex and Claire watch their little sponge pellets turn into things in a glass of water.)
Alex: Ah! Mines turned into a dolphin!



(Claire goes down the little slide by herself.)
Claire (proudly): I didn’t need a hand!!

(Today, for the first time, Alex goes down the big slide without help, and does so spontaneously. Immediately he loses all fear of the slide and goes down repeatedly.)


(In bed, Claire cried until Mommy goes up to her room to see what is the matter.)
Claire: What does it say on my clock?

A monster, take off, my feet!

(Claire puts her monster truck in the pantry.)
Claire: Where’s my monster truck?
Daddy: Where could it be?
Claire: In the door!

Claire: My monster truck’s sad, Daddy.

Claire: Look Daddy, I don’t have feet!
Claire: Look Daddy, I don’t have feet!
Daddy: Oh no, you don’t have feet!
Claire: A monster, take off, my feet!



(Alex and Claire are eating lunch.)
Alex: I’m making Claire happy.
Daddy: How are you making Claire happy?
Alex: To not tell her that she’s not going.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: That’s how I’m making her happy. I’m telling her it’s after nap.



Alex: Daddy, when I’m bigger, and I’m older, can I ice skate?



Alex (to Daddy): Shani said to someone’s daddy, “Grown-ups don’t eat cupcakes, just kids.” And I said, “Grown-ups do eat cupcakes.” Do grown-ups eat cupcakes?
Daddy: Yes, they do.



(Alex and Daddy are talking about building a playground. Alex plans to hammer in nails using his little tools.)
Daddy: And when you get bigger, you can use real tools. Big tools.
Alex: Well I wanna use my little tools, because it’s taking a long time to get bigger.



(Alex comes home from Thomas’s birthday party. Among other things, his goody bag contains a little hourglass.)
Claire: Did you get a goody bag?
Alex: Yeah, and we looked at some of it, and it has green sand in it, and it goes from the bottom up! And it takes three minutes!



Claire: No, Grommie.
Claire: Grommie can’t eat things when I hold something.



(Riding in the car, Alex makes the following pronouncement completely out of the blue.)
Alex: I don’t like when people take my head, but I like when people don’t have a head. Or a mouth. Just a nose.
Daddy: What are you talking about?
Alex: I don’t like when people have a head, or eyes, or a mouth, or nose. Just a nose.



(Alex is telling Mommy about Thomas’s birthday party.)
Mommy: Did you sing Happy Birthday to him?
Alex: Yeah. On the count of three.



Alex: What does a hamburger noise make? A hamburger noise makes a noise like this: Hooooonk!
(Alex laughs.)



Alex: A lobster doesn’t have a head.

Alex: Some animals don’t have faces, like you can’t see a butterfly’s faces, ‘cause they’re too tiny.

(Alex picks out Spider-Man underwear for tomorrow.)
Claire: That’s cool, Alex.

(Alex is telling Claire about Spider-Man.)
Alex: He can stick to stuff, and he can climb up lots of walls!
Claire: Yeah, and he can go on a ladder!
Alex: No, he doesn’t need a ladder.

So don't be scared, okay?

(Alex sees a picture of himself as a baby.)
Alex: Look, Daddy. Alex made a mess in his room.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: 'Cause he was a baby.
Daddy: That's right. He was just a baby, he couldn't help it.
Alex: Mommy and Daddy need to help it.



(Alex and Claire are watching Super Why.)
Alex: Hey Claire, giants are just pretend and this is not a real giant.
Alex: So don't be scared, okay?



Alex: What's the, um, first word, Daddy?
Daddy: Of what?
Alex: Baa Baa Black Sheep.
Daddy: Baa baa black sheep.



(Alex wants to go to a natural history museum and see dinosaurs.)
Daddy: I'll put it on your bucket list, okay?
Claire: Can you put it on my bucket list?


(Mommy is going out to have dinner with some of her friends.)
Mommy: Bye!
Alex and Claire: Bye!
Alex: See you later!
Claire: See you later!
Alex: Have a good play date!
Claire: Have a good play date!

But, fish are just… how they are.

Alex: Hey, Claire? You're a her and I'm a him.



(dinner)

(Alex turns sideways in his chair.)
Alex: Is this the proper way of sitting in your chair? No!
(Alex turns backward in his chair.)
Alex: Is this the proper way of sitting in your chair? No!
(Alex sits forward in his chair.)
Alex: Is this the proper way of sitting in your chair? Yes!



Alex: But, fish are just… how they are.



(Daddy is reading a Dr. Seuss book, in which one character has 7 fingers on one hand.)
Alex: We usually have five.

But when it’s time to go to the doctor, I hafta get off the sofa.

(Alex and Claire come home from school.)

Daddy: Did you guys have fun at school today?
Alex and Claire: Yeah.
Claire: But I didn't eat my soup, I just ate my foo-- fruit, and my sandwich.

(Alex is sitting on the sofa.)
Alex: After we put Claire down for nap, I'm gonna go to the doctor. But when it’s time to go to the doctor, I hafta get off the sofa.

Mommy: Alex, does anything hurt right now?
Alex: No. My - my chin just itches.

Alex: Mommy, do you wanna play dinosaurs with me?
Mommy: Um...
Daddy: No, she doesn't.
Mommy: I want to make some coffee first.
Alex: Um, while your coffee's cooking, could you come play with me, and after it's done cooking, could you go get your coffee and then come back and play with me again?
Mommy: Okay.



(Alex is hiding under the kitchen table.)
Alex: Hey Mommy? Look everywhere except under the kitchen table, okay? And say, "Where's Alex?"



(Claire turns on the light in the bathroom.)
Claire: I put the light on by myself.
Daddy: Good for you!
Claire: I'm tall.



(Claire is at the bathroom sink.)
Claire: That is the hot one, that is the cold one. That's how you do it! Mommy does that.



Alex: I like to eat yummy treats like candy, Daddy.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: One day, could I get a lollipop?
Daddy: Yeah.

I didn't feel very good that day.

(Daddy comes back from his business trip.)

Alex: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy: I missed you!
Alex: I missed you too!
Claire: I missed you too!

Claire: What did you eat at -- at -- at -- at work?


(Daddy plays with Alex and Claire before bed time.)

Alex: Daddy, yesterday when it was so late, my head hurt.
Daddy: Oh I'm sorry.
Alex: And I missed you.
Daddy: Oh, I missed you too.
Alex: I didn't feel very good that day.

Alex: Claire’s tiny like this.
(Alex squats.)
Daddy: Yeah, she's tiny.
Alex: And then she grows and grows and grows and grows and grows. Until she's bigger like me.

Claire: Elmo flies, Daddy.
Daddy: Elmo flies?
Claire: Yeah. Not Buzz Lightyear. Not Buzz Lightyear.
Daddy: Not Buzz Lightyear?
Claire: Yeah. Elmo flies.

Claire: Elmo flies. Not Buzz Lightyear.
Claire: Um – Buzz Lightyear flies. Not Elmo.

Alex (to Daddy): What's a happy face? A sad face!
(Alex laughs.)
(Alex then repeats this same joke to Mommy, and then again to Claire.)

(Claire wants Daddy to put on her diaper for bed.)
Claire: Diaper, Daddy! Diaper, Daddy! Diaper, Daddy!

(Alex climbs on Daddy.)
Alex: I'm climbing up Daddy.
Claire: I’m gonna climb up Daddy. Stay there, Daddy.

Alex: Where's that dinosaur?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Maybe he's in my pants, let's see.

Alex: Ow! I scratched my bottom on the rug.
Daddy: Oh no! Maybe I should give you a time out.
Alex: Give the rug a timeout. Five minutes!
Daddy: Is the rug five?
Alex: Yeah. He's very five. And he doesn’t be nice!

Watch me talk to my shoes.

(Mommy's clock was fast, but she reset it.)
Alex: If it keeps doing it, we can fix it with our tools.
Claire: I can fix Mommy's clock with the cutter, and the hammer. That be not loud. That be quiet.



(Alex and Claire come home from school.)

Alex: I sat in a different chair today! I sat at the red table!

Claire: I talk to my shoes. Watch me talk to my shoes.
Claire (talking to her shoe): I don't like that!
(Claire laughs.)

Alex: Look at this, Daddy.
(Alex is standing in a slightly crouched position.)
Daddy: What's that?
Alex: This is the chair, how big it was. This is the big chair.



(Claire is in bed during nap, “reading” her digital clock.)
Claire: Eight, forty, L, L. Time, to, go, up, stairs.



(snack time)
Alex: Goldfish gets crumbs on you.



Alex: I'm gonna help Mommy drive.
Daddy: You are? How are you gonna do that?
Alex: I'm gonna tell her what the signs say.
Daddy: Oh, okay.
Alex: She might not know what the sign says.

I gonna go to school, 'cause I wanna be a snowman when I grow up.

Claire: Is there school?
Daddy: No, there's no school today, it's Sunday.
Claire: We can still have breakfast if there's no school.

Alex (standing at the top of the stairs): Alex is coming downstairs, I'm awake.

Claire: I have four babies.
Alex: I wanna play with one.
Claire: Okay.
Alex: This one makes music.

Alex: At bed time, for a little bit, I couldn't fall asleep.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: But then I just fell asleep, and I knew how to fall asleep.
(Claire mumbles something inaudible.)
Claire: This eye hurts me at nap -- um bedtime.
Daddy: Oh. Well maybe you should sleep, at bedtime.
Claire: Yeah tomorrow.

(Alex sniffles.)
Claire: Why did you do your nose like that Alex?
Alex: ‘Cause I have a cold.
Claire: I have a cold too.
Alex: No.
Claire: I do.
Alex: No.
Claire: I do. I'm coughing. I do, ‘cause I'm coughing too.
Alex: I have a cold.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: That's why you don't have a cold.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Don't have a cold.
Claire: Yeah.

(Alex got up too early.)
Alex: I wanted to play, and then I just, realized I got tired.

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: I realized I had energy, but then when I came downstairs I realized I didn't.

(Alex is unbuttoning his PJs.)
Alex: Look what I'm doing, Daddy. I'm taking off all the buttons.
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: I'm proud of myself.

(Alex is getting dressed.)
Alex: Don't look at me Daddy.



(Daddy, Alex, and Claire are driving around “looking at things”.)

Alex: That's Taco Bell! That store is called Taco Bell.

Alex: If the car gets gas today, it will be having lunch too!

Claire: I'll be a daddy, and I will go into work, one day.

Alex: The summer is warm. But I don't like it, I get hot. When I work in the garden. With Mommy.

Alex: I saw a man walking, and he didn't have a head.

Alex: That man had two foots, and when you walk, you step and step. You step, and step, and step, and step. That's how you do.



(Daddy, Alex, and Claire go back home.)
Mommy: What did you do?
Alex: We saw new things!
Mommy: Yeah, like what?
Alex: Like, where you used to live.
Mommy: You did?
Alex: And we saw a giant flag!
Mommy: Oh, wow.
Alex: And a cactus sign.
Mommy: Oh yeah?
Alex: Yeah.
Alex: And we saw where Daddy used to work, and where Mommy used to work.
Mommy: Oh wow. You must have taken a trip down Broad Street.



Alex: Grommie has a collar, if he got lost, and somebody found him, they would say, "Oh, this is from Alex and Claire and Mommy and Daddy."



Daddy (to Grommie): Oh no you di’-‘ih!
Claire: Why you say "di'-'ih"? Why you say "Oh no you di'-'ih?"


Claire: I smell brownies, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah? Yeah they're almost done. They'll be done in two minutes.
Claire: Yeah, 'cause it's -- it's really hard to wait, for uh brownies.



Claire: I gonna go to school, 'cause I wanna be a snowman when I grow up.
Mommy: You like school, don't you?
Claire: Yeah. I wanna be a snowman.
Mommy: You wanna be a snowman?
Claire: Yeah, when I grow up.

(Claire and Alex are talking about being a mommy and a daddy when they grow up.)
Alex: I wanna have two boys.
Claire: I wanna have two girls.
Alex (to Mommy): I'm gonna have Beetoo... Creetoo... Chetrup... and Creetoo-Beetoo.
Mommy: That's gonna be their names?
Alex: Yeah.

Baa baa, black sheep

(lunch)
Alex: The applesauce looks like sheep's fur.



(Claire is using the potty first, while Alex waits.)
Alex: Okay, I'll go first tomorrow.
Claire: And I'll go first today. We're taking turns!



(Claire sings to herself in bed during nap.)

Claire (singing): Black sheep, black sheep, have a little lamb
Claire (singing): Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
Claire (singing): One for the boy, one for the lane
Claire (singing): One for the boy, one for the lane
Claire (singing): One for the little boy who lives down the lane

Claire (singing): Baa baa black sheep, have a little lamb
Claire (singing): Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
Claire (singing): One for the little boy
Claire (singing): One for a dame
Claire (singing): One for a master
Claire (singing): One for a little boy
Claire (singing): One for the dame
Claire (singing): One for a little boy
Claire (singing): Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
Claire (singing): One for the dame
Claire (singing): Baa baa black sheep, have a little boy
Claire (singing): Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
Claire (singing): One for the little boy
Claire (singing): One for the lane
Claire (singing): One for the master
Claire (singing): One for the little boy
Claire (singing): One for the little girl --
(Pause.)
Claire (singing): The little boy
Claire (singing): Black sheep, black sheep, have a little --
Claire (singing): Black sheep, black sheep, have a little lamb
Claire (singing): Baa baa, black sheep
Claire (singing): Baa baa, baa baa, black sheep, have a little lamb
Claire (singing): Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
Claire: The end.

Claire (singing very slowly): ABCDEFG, HIK, LMNOP, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z, know my, know my, ABCs, next time won't you sing with me
Claire (singing very slowly): ABCDEFG, HIK, LMNOP, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z, know my, know my, ABCs, next time won't you sing with me
Claire (singing very slowly): ABCDEFG, HIK, LM, NO, P, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z, know my, know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me
Claire (singing very slowly): ABCDEFG, HIK, LMNOP, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z, know my know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me
Claire: N, O, yay!
(Pause.)
Claire (singing slowly): ABCDEFG, HIK, LMNOP, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z
Claire (singing slowly): ABC --
Claire (singing faster now): ABCDEFG, HIK, ABCDEFG, HIK, LMNOP, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z, know my, know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me
Claire (singing): Eh beh beh beh eh F G, HIK, LMNOP, QRS, TLV, double-wah X, Y and Z, know my know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me
Claire: Yay.
Claire: I'm tired, singing ABCs.


(dinner)

Alex: My tummy hurts.
Claire: My tummy hurts too. You need to eat all your food so it doesn’t hurt, Alex.
Alex: No! My tummy hurts 'cause I'm eating too much food!


Alex: I couldn't do my bathroom stuff because Claire was crying. But I could, because -- because I did.

Birds don't drink soda, they drink eggs.

(Claire, Alex, and Daddy are looking at the family photos on Daddy's mug.)
Daddy: We've had some exciting times together.
Alex: Yeah. And we went to Busch Gardens.
Daddy: That's right, we went to Busch Gardens.
Alex: And Daddy? Bert drank your soda.

Claire: Birds don't drink soda, they drink eggs.

I'm super-fast, one two three go!

(Mommy is sitting on the floor, and Grommie is pushing his way onto Mommy's lap.)
Claire (to Mommy): He's giving you a hug!

Alex: Hey Mommy, I made a pattern with my, with my Cinnamon Bears and my Chocolate Bears.
Mommy: You made a pattern?
Daddy: What's your pattern?
Alex: Chocolate Bear, Cinnamon Bear, Chocolate Bear, Cinnamon Bear.



(Dinner. Claire watches Daddy eat some broccoli.)
Claire (to Daddy): I'm gonna be healthy in a minute.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Now I'm eating french fries.



Claire: Watch me run really fast, Daddy!
(Claire runs.)
Daddy: Wow, that was fast!
Claire: You didn't watch me, Daddy!

Claire: I can run really fast! Seddy, ret, go!

Claire: You watch me, Daddy, one, two, three, four, go, I super-fast!
(Claire runs.)

Claire: Watch me do it again. I'm super-fast, one two three go!
(Claire runs.)



(Claire watches Alex poop.)
Claire: That's like a chicken, Alex. Your poop is like a chicken.

Daddy, tomorrow's Gramhog Day.

(Alex and Claire come home from school.)

Claire: Daddy, I stayed dry all day!

Alex: Daddy, tomorrow's Gramhog Day.
Daddy: Tomorrow's Grampas’ Day?
Alex: No, Gramhog Day.
Daddy: What happens on Groundhog Day?
Alex: We watch to see if -- if Gramhog, sees a shadow.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: Like the real people. Like Daddy! Like Alex and Claire and Daddy! But not Mommy. How ‘bout Grommie? Grommie could be there with us?
Daddy: So, why do we want to see if the groundhog sees his shadow?
Alex: Because we want to.

Daddy: What does it mean if the groundhog sees his shadow?
Alex: Um, I don’t know.
Daddy: So where do we see it?
Alex: Um, on the news.

Daddy: Alex, did you get a job today?
Alex: Yeah, I picked Song Leader.
Daddy: Oh, Song Leader, good! What does Song Leader do?
Alex: Song Leader, um, before you sing the song, you say "uno, dos, tres". And then you sing.
Daddy: Oh!
Alex: So I picked that.



Alex (singing): You've got a friend in me
Alex (singing): You've got a friend in me
Alex (singing): Wherever you go, somebody loves you
Alex (singing): You've got a friend in me

Alex: Hey Claire, I'll be Sid, and you can be Sid's sister, okay?
Claire: Okay.

Five comes after four, Mommy. You know that.

(Claire is throwing Mallory around the kitchen.)
Claire: I’m throwing Mowry, Daddy.
Daddy: I see that, yeah.
(Claire throws Mallory again.)
Claire: Daddy, I’m throwing Mallory.


(dinner)

Daddy: Claire, if you could have dinner with any three people in the whole world, who would they be?
Claire: Ferghetti.
Daddy: Spaghetti? Alex, how about you?
Alex: Um, Grandpa, and Uncle Doug, and, um… um… Daddy.
Daddy: Aw, thanks.
Alex: Just mans!

Alex: Five comes after four, Mommy. You know that.

(Claire shakes her spoon, while making a high-pitched squeak that sounds a lot like the famous Psycho music.)
Daddy: Claire, have you seen Psycho?
Claire: No.
(Claire makes the noise again.)


Alex: Look, Daddy, I can wink.
(Alex squints his eyes.)

We don't eat poop.

(Daddy is talking to Claire and Alex about taking them out somewhere.)
Claire: Can Alex notta go?
Daddy: You want Alex to not go?
Claire: I want just us.



(In the car, Alex, Claire, and Daddy are talking about Toy Story characters.)

Claire: And Ham has pennies in his bottom.

Claire: Slinky the Dog has a bottom.
Daddy: Yeah, Slinky the Dog has a bottom.
Claire: He sayed, that's a bottom.



(Claire wakes up from nap.)
Claire: Time to wake up?
Claire: The sun's up, Mommy! The sun's up!

(Mommy is changing Claire's poopy diaper.)
Claire: We don't eat poop.
Mommy: Yeah!
Claire: It's yucky.
Mommy: Yeah, we don't eat poop.
Claire: 'Cause it's yucky.



(Claire and Alex come home from Nana and Pop's house. Daddy has a pizza in the oven.)

Claire: I smell pizza.

Claire: Mommy said, "Alex, don't play with the cabinet. It's Nana and Pop's."

Claire: A polar bear is coming!
Daddy: A polar bear?!
(Claire runs off.)
Claire: Run! A polar bear is coming!



(dinner)

Alex (pointing at his applesauce): Look Daddy, there's a cliff!
Claire: What?
Alex: There's a cliff. People can walk here, but if they walk here they'll fall down the cliff!

Mommy: You guys are gonna have to eat dried fruit for a few days. I'll go to the store on Wednesday.
Alex (sounding incredulous): What?!
Daddy (sounding incredulous): What?!
Claire (sounding incredulous): What?!
Alex: What are you talking about?!
Claire (in a gruff voice): What are you talking about?!
Claire: I'm talking in a funny voice, Daddy.

(Claire wants Mommy, not Daddy, to get her down from the dinner table.)
Claire (whining): I want Mommy.
Alex: I let Mommy and Daddy do stuff to me!

A tree!

Alex (talking about Toy Story): Sid's not gonna get a present from Santa. He's gonna get coal.


(Alex is eating, and Claire is playing.)
Claire: Alex? Can I play with your Buzz Lightyear?
(Pause.)
Mommy: Alex, Claire asked you a question.
Alex: Um… too busy eating.
Mommy: I guess that would be a “yes” then, Claire.


(Daddy is reading a Dora book to Claire.)
Daddy: “This riddle is tricky, you'll have to think twice!”
Daddy: “When water freezes, it turns into…”
Claire: A tree!

Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!

(Alex is having snack, and Claire is playing in the kitchen.)

Claire: Watch me run really fast, Daddy!
(Claire runs across the kitchen.)

Claire: Watch me Alex, I'm running!
(Claire runs across the kitchen.)

Claire: Watch me run really fast and I'ma win, Alex.
(Claire runs across the kitchen.)
Alex: Wow, that's really fast! You went a long way.

Claire (to Daddy): Alex got me a sticker 'cause I didn't look at -- at his poop and his pee.
Daddy: Wow, that's nice!
Claire: Thank you, Alex.
Alex: You're welcome.

Daddy: Did you get enough to eat, Alex?
Alex: Yeah, but I have food in my mouth, but I don't want to choke on it.
Daddy: Yeah I don't want you to choke on it.
Alex: That'd be not good.

Claire: I'ma show Nana how I'm gonna run! Really fast.
Claire (running): Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!


(dinner)

(Daddy is eating a sandwich.)
Claire: And I can be a daddy and I can eat a sandwich.

Claire: I need to pee!!
Mommy (rushing over to help Claire down from her chair): Okay.
Claire: I need to pee! Hurry hurry! I'm gonna pee in my underwear!

Alex: I can get you a sticker, Claire.
Claire: Okay, but I -- I wanna get my -- my sticker by myself, Alex.

Mommy: Do you want me to get the thing, so you can sit on the big potty?
Alex: Um, no. I sit on the big potty, and I, and I, and I don't fall in the pee.
Mommy: You are so big.

Why are they skating? Is that ice golf?

(Daddy asks Claire why she got a sticker and happy stamps at school.)

Claire (indicating one happy stamp): Because I cleaned up.

Claire (indicating one happy stamp): Because I sayed the pledge.

Claire (indicating her sticker): Because I said rocket ship.



Alex: Can I show you something, Daddy? I got a sticker.
(Alex points to the sticker on his shirt.)
Alex: Because I'm always a good listener at school.
Daddy: That's great! Good job!
Claire: What did you do, Alex? What did you do?


Claire: I have Blue's Clues underwear.


Mommy (to Claire): Maybe we should have pizza.
Alex: I WANT PIZZA! I WANT PIZZA! I WANT CHEESE PIZZA!


Mommy: Hey Alex, if you try on one of these pairs of pants, I'll give you a big hug and kiss.
(There is a long pause while Alex considers this.)
Alex: No.


(Highlights of an ice hockey game are showing on TV.)
Alex: Why are they skating? Is that ice golf?

My poop is like a square.

Claire: I'm poopy. My poop is like a square.

Claire: I have a BIG poop.

Claire: Poop goes in the potty.


Claire: I wanna get a sticker 'cause I peed on the potty.
Daddy: Okay, go tell Mommy.
Claire: Mommy!! I peed on the potty!!

Alex: In the middle of the night, I sat on the big potty to get some pee out, Daddy.
Daddy: Good for you!


Alex: My foot hurts because it’s growing.

Alex: Callum bite me at school.

I need to go potty because I have underwear.

(Alex and Claire come home from school.)

Claire: Mommy gonna uh go with Wendy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: And you play with us.

Alex: Daddy, I carried my backpack, all the way home, with my coat on, and my backpack on my coat.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: And it's so cute!


(Grommie and Claire are going up the stairs for nap time, with Alex and Daddy trailing behind.)

Daddy: Grommie's gonna get there first.
Claire: I'm gonna get there second.
Alex: I'm gonna get there third.
Alex (to Daddy): You're gonna get there forty-one.

Claire: I need to go potty before I wash hands.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I need to go potty before I wash hands, Alex.
(Claire sits on the potty.)
Claire: I need to go potty because I have underwear.

Alex: I'm gonna use the big potty.

(Alex is sitting on the big potty.)
Alex: I'm peeing.
(Claire claps.)

(Both kids finish peeing. Alex flushes the toilet.)
Alex: I flushed it by myself.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I need to wipe.
Alex: I'm a big boy!
Claire: I need to wipe first.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: Can I do it again?
Alex: I wanna do the big boy potty again.

(Alex and Claire are washing hands and brushing teeth.)

Alex: I got all the germs off.
Alex: It's important to wash your hands and brush teeth.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I got all the germs off too.

Alex: I need some water, I'm thirsty.
Claire: I need some water too, I'm thirsty too.

Alex: At school I was doing something, I was playing boat and all of us were playing water with people, but… I think the boo-boo is from the water, from the playing water, like the mulch is it. Can you get me a band-aid? Can you get me a band-aid, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, I can get you a band-aid.
Alex: I want Toy Store. With Woody and Jessie on it. And Bullseye and Buzz Lightyear. All those people. Woody and Jessie and Bullseye and Buzz Lightyear.


(Daddy is reading a bedtime story to Alex and Claire. Right after Daddy turns a page, Claire makes him stop and go back to the previous page, so she can say something about it.)
Alex: Claire always says, if she wants to say something, she waits ‘til you turn the page.

Uh. I don’t remember eating that!

(Daddy is changing Claire’s diaper. Claire mumbles something about “Mommy” and “doing better”.)
Daddy: Did Mommy do it better?
Claire: No, Mommy not do better, you do better. Mommy was hurting to me.


(Claire is in bed during nap time.)
Claire: Look! The sun’s up!
Claire: Mommy, the sun’s up!
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, look the sun’s up now! The sun’s up!
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, the sun’s up, it’s time to wake up!
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, the sun’s up! Wake up now!


Claire (proudly): I’m keeping dry in my underwear, Daddy.


(Alex takes off his Bob hat.)
Alex: Bob doesn’t wanna keep his hat on right now, he’s hot in it.
Alex: But he can keep his belt on, he keeps his belt on every day. Even when he’s sleeping.
(Alex laughs.)


Alex: Can you talk about Toy Store?
Daddy: What would you like to know?
Alex: Um… Why did the… why did the… why did the toys try, um… to go in cones? Why, Daddy?

Claire: Why did, uh, Buzz Lightyear go on the road?

Daddy: All right, do you have other questions for me?
Claire: Um, why – um, why – why did Buzz Lightyear go on the road, Daddy?

(Other questions from Alex. These are not all-inclusive, nor are they verbatim.)
Why did Buzz Lightyear say that Zurg was his father?
What’s that thing the prospector is carrying?
What does it do?
What were those things that Buzz Lightyear threw at Zurg in the elevator?
Why did Rex say “I don’t wanna use my head”?
Why does everything look red when Zurg looks at things?
Why does Zurg’s mouth be yellow when he talks?
Why does Zurg have a black tummy?
Why did the elevator have to be in the vent?
Why was Slinky trying to scare the girl?
Why were all the packages in that sliding thing that made the packages go?
And what was that thing that drives the packages?
Why did the man take the package and then Woody couldn’t get Jessie?
Why did the big girl take the prospector?
What’s the man that took Woody’s name, and what’s the man that cleaned Woody?
Why did the little girl get the prospector to be the king and the doll to be the princess?
And why did the doll have stickers on her face?
Why did Buzz have letters on his wing?
And why did Buzz say “what are you laughing about”?
And why didn’t Buzz see Woody have a funny face, and why did he not laugh?
What’s the man’s name with the pink balls?
Why doesn’t Zurg have a nose?
But why was he in the bushes?

(These questions are from Claire. Again, not verbatim.)
Why did Jessie pull Woody on the airplane?
Why did Woody fall down the airplane?


Alex: The part I liked was when Buzz Lightyear said “uh” and said “I don’t remember eating that!” I liked that part.
Daddy: I know you do.
Alex: Uh. I don’t remember eating that!
(Alex laughs.)
(Note: Alex will continue to repeat this joke occasionally for weeks to come.)


Claire: Daddy! I peed on the potty!
Daddy: Oh, good for you! You’re keeping your underwear dry!
Mommy: Claire stayed dry all, day, long. All, day, long.
Alex: Claaaire! She’s a big girl.

Shopping cart on the bay-zhay…

Alex (singing while he plays with tools): I can fix anything, if I have my tools!

Claire (talking into the pager): Are you coming to my house, um, um, um, Bay-Zhay?


(Claire pushes her shopping cart, and sings, to the tune of “Jingle Bells”.)
Claire: Shopping cart, shopping cart…
Claire (singing): Shopping cart on the bay-zhay…


(Claire is playing Cupcakes.)
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (to Daddy): It’s Alex’s birthday.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex


Claire: I peed in the potty!!


Claire: Can I give you a kiss, Mommy?

Claire: I love you, Mommy.


Claire (at the table): May I have more get down please?


Alex: Remember you have underwear on, Claire.


(in the car)
Alex: Daddy, look at the road.
Daddy: What do you see?
Alex: There’s a can in the road.
(There’s a water bottle lying at the side of the road.)
Daddy: Oh, they shouldn’t do that.
Alex: That doesn’t take care of your Earth.


Daddy: Who’s your very best friend?
Alex: Callum and Neer. They’re my very best friends.

(Daddy sighs.)
Alex: Why’d you say “uhh”?
Daddy: Because I’m a little bit tired.
(Pause.)
Alex: Why’d you say “because I’m a little bit tired”?
Daddy: Because you asked me why I said “uhh”.
Alex: Why’d you – why’d you say what you already said?


(Mommy gets Claire up from nap.)
Mommy: Are you poopy?
Claire: No, you are poopy, Mommy. You are poopy.


(Alex brought some stickers home from Angelina’s party.)

Claire: Mommy, Alex needs to go pee-pee before he gets them.

Claire: Alex, you need to go pee-pee before you get these stickers. Yeah?


(Daddy shows Claire the microphone that goes with the Xbox karaoke game – which she hasn’t played in many months.)
Daddy: Do you remember this, Claire? What do you do with this?
Claire: Um, you, put it in your mouth.
Daddy: And then what do you do?
Claire: Um, make a sound.


(Claire and Mommy are getting ready to leave the house for some special time.)
Alex: Hey, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Um, I’ve got a new rule.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: If – if Claire and Mommy are gone, we can watch TV.

Claire, I think you’re ready to drive the car, since you’re wearing underwear now.

Alex: Look at my funny costume!

Claire (putting Juju and Mallory in a cabinet): Daddy, I wanna do hide-and-seek with Juju, and Mallory.
Daddy: That’s a great idea.
(Claire leaves them in the cabinet and wanders around, then returns and opens the cabinet.)
Claire: There you are!


(Alex sits in his chair, and puts his feet up on a stool, like an ottoman.)
Alex: I’m doing what Grandpa does.


(Daddy is watching a basketball game.)
Alex: That says Virginia, that’s ours.


(Daddy is sitting on the sofa watching a basketball game. Claire brings her chair over, sets it down next to the sofa, and has a seat.)
Claire: I wanna watch with you, Daddy.


Alex: And I have some lip stuff too if anyone needs some on the way.

Claire: Penguins on your hat, Daddy.
Daddy: What?
Claire: Penguins on your hat.
Daddy: Yeah!


Alex: I don’t smoke.
Claire: I don’t smoke.
Alex: Smoking is not polite.


(Daddy finishes his cup of coffee.)
Claire: Daddy? Is your coffee being all gone?
Daddy: Yes.
Claire: Is it all gone?
Daddy: It is, yes.
Claire: Let me see.
(Daddy tilts the empty mug so she can see that it’s empty.)
Claire: All gone.


Alex: I think Claire’s a big girl.
Daddy: Yeah, she is.
Alex: Claire, I think you’re ready to drive the car, since you’re wearing underwear now.


(Claire is lying on her back in bed.)
Claire (chanting, slowly): I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…