You get barbecue, and you get sauce, and you mix it together. And make barbecue sauce.

Claire: Mommy, when we get home you have to close your eyes, ‘cause I have a surprise, okay?


Alex: Bear’s gonna stay here to do gymnastics, because, his gymnastics teacher’s gonna be here, uh, any minute to pick him up.


Claire: Alex, are you gonna play?
Alex: I’m feeling feliz, so of course.
Daddy: What?
Mommy: He said he’s feeling feliz, so of course.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire: I’m feeling feliz! Our whole family’s feeling feliz!


(dinner)

Claire: How do you make barbecue sauce?
Alex: You get barbecue, and you get sauce, and you mix it together. And make barbecue sauce.

Alex: Daddy? It would be fun if we could really blue skidoo into something.

Claire: Blue skidoo, we can too! I blue skidooed into my food.

Alex: Can you stop talking so I can watch my show?


(Alex is crying in his bed, so Daddy goes to talk to him. At first Alex won’t say what’s wrong, but finally Daddy coaxes it out of him.)

Alex (sad and sniffily): When you’re mad at me, it feels like you don’t love me.

Alex (sad and sniffily): Daddy, it feels like you want me to go to jail.