Why’d the chicken get one hundred napkins?

Alex: My little frog, he likes to be nocturnal because he likes to see spooky stuff.


(Alex and Claire are watching Blue’s Clues.)
Alex: It’s a lamp.
Claire: No it’s not.
Alex: Yeah.
Claire: No it’s not. It’s not a sheep. A sheep is a lamb.


(Alex and Claire are coloring.)
Claire: Alex, can you say that, “What are you making, Claire?”, “Wait and see!”, Okay?
Alex: No.
Claire: Why?
Daddy: Do you want me to say it, Claire?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: What are you making, Claire?
Claire: Wait and see!


(dinner)

Claire (giggling): Daddy, I don’t have any towel! Look at me!
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire (giggling): It’s funny!

(Daddy is telling Claire and Alex about his day, and Alex is in a really grouchy mood.)
Daddy: And I had a meeting…
Alex: I don’t want you to have meetings. I want you to be bored. I want you to sit in your chair and not do anything.

Claire: After I finish my dinner, can I make my name on your computer?
Mommy: No, honey.
Claire: But there’s a C.

Alex: Daddy, I wanna tell you a joke. Why’d the chicken get one hundred napkins?
Daddy: I don’t know, why?
Alex: Because, the other chicken, had zero napkins!
(Alex chuckles.)
Alex: That’s funny.

Alex: Daddy, only on two days you can play with us. Saturday and Sunday.

Alex: But a lot of times you have to stay at work a long time.

Alex: Then you don’t get to see your kids. For the whole day.

Alex: Not for the whole day. Because, you can see them for breakfast time in the morning. Yeah but, for the afternoon you can’t. It’s almost the whole day. When you leave, for me, for me and Claire to be dropped at school you’re still with us. So that’s not the whole day.

Alex: Daddy, we never have a fire at our house. But we have a lot of fires at school, don’t we?
Daddy: You do?
Alex: No, but I just had my first one. And you know what they do that’s different? You put your heads through the fence. You put your heads to the fence. So fire doesn’t get in your eyes!
(Alex laughs.)