Daddy? Can you teach me how to do things today? So I can grow up and be a good daddy, and teach my kids things?

(Alex is very sick.)

Alex: I'm not gonna be able to work with trucks today, and we had to do a lot of important jobs, but now, um, we'll have to do it, next week.

Alex: Mommy, can I have a mirror? So I can see what's comin' outta my nose?


Claire: Daddy.
Daddy: Yes, Claire.
Claire: Um, I got the stem off the strawberry, all by myself!
Daddy: Good for you.


Alex (talking about the strawberries he picked): They grow from leaves.
Claire: What?
Alex: They grow from leaves. And they hide under leaves.
Claire: What?
Alex: They grow in the dirt. And they hide under leaves.
Claire: Oh.


Claire: Mommy, you have to close your eyes. Close your eyes.
(Mommy closes her eyes. Claire wipes her face.)
Claire: Surprise!!! Open your eyes!!!
Mommy: Did you get it all clean?
Claire: Yeah!
Mommy: Good for you!


Alex: Daddy? Can you teach me how to do things today? So I can grow up and be a good daddy, and teach my kids things?
Daddy: Yeah, that's a good idea.

Alex: Can we do it today? Just special Daddy time. Can we do that?
Daddy: Yeah.


Alex: Guess what's in Scoop's digger at Chuck E. Cheese's.
Daddy: I don't know.
Alex (whispering): Filcher.
Daddy: That's silly.
Alex: I don't know why. Maybe he was just crawling past him.


Alex: Now can you teach me some stuff?
Daddy: What can I teach you?
Alex: To drive the car, please.

Alex: Um, how 'bout… how 'bout you teach me… how to… how to um… how to um… how to read?
Daddy: Okay, that'll be fun! Let's do it!


Alex: I don't have anything in my brain.


Claire (proudly): I read all the numbers!


(Alex and Claire are playing.)
Alex: Oh! I have a idea! We could make a building! And then we can have a party in it. Let's get started, team!


Alex: Claire you need to stop doing this: when you see that a grown-up's eating something, you're not apposed to eat what they're eating.


(Claire is finger painting.)

Claire: I'm making a fingerprint party.

Claire: I can wipe my finger all by myself!


Daddy (to Mommy): I guess we should wake up Claire.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Oh no! I don't want you to wake up Claire, I'm playing with her dog!


(Alex is building with Lincoln Logs.)
Daddy: You did a good job building with Lincoln Logs!
Alex: They’re very hard though. But I can handle it.


Mommy: Daddy's downstairs now, Claire, you can tell him.
Claire (jumping up and down): Daddy!!! We're eating at the little table!!!


Alex: Mommy, Daddy, and Claire, all listen to my joke.
Alex: A man goes (unintelligible). Can I please have a drink?
Alex: Oh yeah.
Alex: And a sandwich, with some moostard on it.
Alex: Okay.
Alex: And some ketchup.
Alex: Wait -- wait a minute. But don't forget the bye!
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: The pie.



(bed time)
Daddy: Night-night.
Alex: I'll see you on Memorials Day!