And lungs and blungs and drugga-drug-drungs.

(Alex and Claire are watching Caillou.)

Alex: Daddy, one day can we make apple pie, and can you put that on my bucket list?
Claire: Can you put apple pie on my bucket list too?

Alex: One day can we go on a little ferry boat, or a big ferry boat, can you put that on my bucket list?


(dinner)

Daddy: So, what are you gonna do for Grandpa’s birthday?
Alex: We can make a movie for him, make a card, or buy a present, wrap it up, and…
Claire: Mommy? Mommy?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: … we can make a card. We can make a picture of him.
Claire: Um… that – um, that looks like sugar.
Mommy: Yeah?
Claire: Mm-hm.
Daddy: What do you think Grandpa wants for his birthday?
Alex: A car.
Daddy: A car.
Claire: But… um…
Daddy: How do you know he’ll like it?
Alex: Mm-hm.
Daddy: How do you know he’ll like it?
Claire: Hey, the (mumble) baby.
Alex: Because, he likes cars. He has it at his house.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And trucks.
Daddy: And trucks?
Alex: Well, I guess he likes cars and trucks. He’ll like whatever he, he – he’ll like whatever I picked out for him.
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Daddy: And how old is Grandpa gonna be?
Alex: What?
Daddy: How old is Grandpa gonna be?
Claire: He’s black. That’s black.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Sixty-seven.
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Claire: But he looks like he’s swimming.
Mommy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Sixty-four.
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Sixty-five.
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Sixty-one?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Ninety?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Seventy?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: Eighty?
(Daddy shakes his head.)
Alex: How much will he be?
Daddy: Seventy-nine.
Alex: Seventy-nine?
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Ask me how old he’ll be.
Daddy: You want me to ask you?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: How old will Grandpa be?
Alex: Seventy-nine.
Daddy: Good!
(Alex laughs.)
Claire: Your tell – your – you tell me.
Daddy: Claire? How old will Grandpa be?
Claire: Seventy-nine.
Daddy: That’s right.
Daddy: And what are you gonna do for your Grandpa.
Claire: Um….
Claire: Sing songs to him.
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Alex: Sing bongs and longs and bongs to him.
Daddy: Are you gonna sing him a song?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: And, draw him a picture?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Songs and blongs and drongs and…
Claire: Can I draw him a house?
Daddy: Mm-hm.
Claire: Okay.
Alex: Draw drawla.
Claire: ABCs.
Alex: And lungs and blungs and drugga-drug-drungs.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire (singing): ABC…
Alex: Drungs and tongues and la la la
Claire (singing): ACDEFG
Alex: Like a shrugga, shrucka, lucka?
Claire (singing): HIJKLMOP
Alex: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-blah
Claire (singing): QRS
Alex: Drup drucka lucka luck lack lack lack
Claire (singing): TUV, WX, Y and Z
Alex: Bulla bulla bulla bulla blah blah block!
Claire (singing): Now I know my ABCs
Alex and Claire (singing in unison): Next time won’t you sing with –
Claire (upset): No!
Claire: Next time won’t --
Alex: Sing with me.
Claire: Sing with me.
Claire (whiny): I don’t want you to sing with me.
Alex (whiny): I want to sing with you too, I want to sing with Claire.
Daddy (laughing): There’s a little irony there.
Claire (whiny): But I was, um, doing that to Grandpa.
Mommy: Aw.
Claire: I don’t want Alex to sing with me.
Daddy: Okay. Claire, what’s your favorite thing about Grandpa?
Claire: Um…
Alex: Can you put “I love Grandpa” on it?
Claire: I don’t know.
Daddy: What do you like about Grandpa?
Alex: We don’t have to say it, we can, we can just write it?
Claire: I wanna draw pictures.
Daddy: What do you like about your Grandpa?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Um… I don’t know.
Daddy: What does he do for you that you like?
Claire: Um… get me food.
Daddy: Get you food?
(Alex laughs.)
Daddy: Alex, what do you like about your Grandpa?
Claire: This looks like a boat!
Alex: I like when – I like when he brings me some cars to play with.
Daddy: Yeah. You guys like to play with cars.
Alex: And bars!
Claire: It looks like a boat. It looks – looks like a boat. This looks like a boat, Mommy.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: And bars!
Daddy: And bars. What color is Grandpa?
Alex: He’s shiny!
Daddy: Shiny?
Alex: Mm-hm.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: What – what doesn’t have a color, Daddy?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Can you ask me?
Daddy: What doesn’t have a color?
Alex: Me!
Alex: Do I? But your hair has a color: black.
(Claire says something unintelligible.)
Alex: Brown. Does Claire have brown or black hair?
Daddy: Brown.
Alex: Brown, and I have brown too. Sort of.
Claire: And I have brown.
Daddy: Alex, what – what is Grandpa’s son?
Claire: But Mommy has brown, Daddy.
Daddy: Who’s Grandpa’s son, what’s his name.
Claire: Daddy, Mommy has brown.
Alex: Daddy.
Daddy: That’s right.
Claire: Mommy has brown.
Alex: Am – am I his son, too?
Daddy: No you’re his grandson. And who is Grandpa’s daughter?
(Alex thinks.)
Alex: Aunt Sheridan.
Daddy: That’s right! Good!
(A laughs.)
Daddy: Claire, who is Grandpa married to?
Claire: Um…
Alex: Grandson!
Daddy: Who did he marry?
Alex (whispering the answer to Claire): You. You. You.
Claire: You!
Daddy: Who’s Grandpa’s wife?
Claire: Um…
Alex: Grandma.
Claire: Grandma.
Daddy: That’s right.
Daddy: What animal is Grandpa most like?
Alex: I don’t know.
Claire: A lion.
Daddy: A lion?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Why?
Claire: I don’t know.
Daddy (to Alex): What do you think Grandpa’s like?
Daddy: Is he like a squirrel?
Daddy: A bird?
Daddy: A chicken?
Alex: I want to know what he likes, I don’t know.
Daddy: What does Grandpa like to eat?
Alex: Ground beef.
Daddy: Ground beef?
(Daddy laughs.)
Alex: He likes chicken?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Does he?
Daddy: Yeah he does.
Claire: Daddy, did you want, um, some more rice?
Daddy: No, I’ve had enough, thank you.
Claire (to Mommy): You want some mores?
Mommy: No thanks.
Daddy: Claire, what -- Claire, what does Grandpa like to eat?
Claire: Um… rice.
Daddy: Rice?
Alex: Mommy? He was married with you, right?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Married with Mommy.
Mommy: Daddy?
Alex: Mommy and Daddy, Mommy. Mommy and Daddy.
Mommy: What?
Alex: Mommy and Daddy were married with Grandpa!
Daddy: We’re married with Grandpa? Well, we married each other. Grandpa was there.
Alex: Grandma?
Daddy: Grandma was there too.
Alex: Meg?
Daddy: Uh, Meg was there too, yeah.
Alex: Virginia.
Daddy: Uh, wait, Meg was not there, actually. Virginia was there.
Mommy: Meg was in Aunt Sheridan’s tummy.
(Alex laughs.)
Daddy: Yeah, I guess she was sorta there. She couldn’t hear very well. She couldn’t see at all.
Alex: That’s silly.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: Alex –
Alex: And then she popped out of her tummy!
Daddy: That’s right.
Alex: How – how can she – how can you get out of a tummy?
Daddy: How can you get out of a tummy?
(Alex giggles.)
Mommy: The doctor takes you out at the hospital.

Claire: Everything. I ate all of my food.
Daddy: Oh, good. I ate all of my food.

Alex: Can we have a dessert after dinner?
Mommy: You can have some strawberries. And blueberries.

Alex (to Daddy): Did you have gas?
Daddy: I did not.
Alex: It came out of your mouth!
Daddy: The gas came out of my mouth?
Alex: You burped!
Daddy: No, I didn’t.
Alex: You had a hiccup.
Daddy: Nope, no hiccups either.
Alex: You coughed.
Daddy: Nope.
Alex: You sneezed.
Daddy: Nope.
Alex: You have a stuff – stuffy nose.
Daddy: Nope.
Alex: You have a red eye.
Daddy: No.
Alex: You can’t hear.
Daddy: No, I can hear.
Alex: You have… you have – are you mad?
Daddy: No, I’m not mad.
Alex: Is your head big?
Daddy: Yes, my head is big.
Alex: Can you eat?
Daddy: I can eat.
Alex: Do you have one teeth? You have one tooth?
Daddy: No I have more than one tooth.
Daddy: How many teeth do you have?
Alex: More than one tooth. Ahhhhhhh!
Daddy: How many are there?
Alex (quickly): One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve – eleven!
Daddy: Eleven?
Claire: I have – I have, five, tooth.
Alex: Count them.
Daddy: Five?
Alex: Count them.
Daddy: All right, open your mouth.
Daddy: One two three – twenty!
Alex: Twenty?
Claire: I open my mouth.
Daddy: One two three – twenty!
Daddy: That’s a lot.
Alex: Hey. Let’s count our teeth all together.