What – what – what holds up the floor, Mommy?

(Alex and Claire are playing trains.)

Alex: Claire, can you help me fix the crane? The leg fell off.

Claire: Emily!
Claire: Emily, Ay-yah!
Claire: Emily, Ay-yah!
Alex: No. I don’t want her.
Claire: Mines.
Alex: Yes. Yours.


(Daddy is trying to hustle both kids into the car, but Alex is lagging behind.)
Claire: Ay-yah! ‘Mon! ‘Mon!


(At lunch, Daddy is sitting in Mommy’s usual chair.)
Alex: Are you Mommy?
Daddy: Yes I’m Mommy.
Alex: You’re not Mommy.
Daddy: Did you know I’m Mommy?
Alex: No you’re not. You don’t have – your hair’s not long.


(After lunch, Alex is lying on the kitchen floor.)
Alex: What – what – what holds up the floor, Mommy?
Mommy: What?
Alex: What can hold up the floor?
Mommy: Why can you hold up the floor?
Alex: No, why – [extended stammering as Alex tries to reformulate his question] – make you walk on the floor?
Mommy: What makes you walk on the floor?
Alex: Yeah. Uh – I mean – why is – what lifts up the floor?
Mommy: What keeps it up?
Alex: Yeah, keeps it up.
Mommy: The foundation of the house.
Alex: Where is it?
Mommy: Um, you can see it outside, the bricks. And then there are boards underneath the floor that hold it up.
Alex: Why can it hold it up?
Mommy: Because it’s strong, and they use nails and cement to hold it up. Okay, give Daddy a kiss, and we can go upstairs.
Alex: I like the house.
Mommy: Me too.


(Alex makes everyone go into his makeshift “house”, because “a storm is coming.” And Alex has a poopy diaper.)
Mommy (to Daddy): Our house is stinky.
Alex (looking concerned): Is it stinky?
Mommy: Yeah, a little bit.
(Alex continues playing, and wanders off.)
Daddy (to Mommy): Aw, he was self-conscious!
Mommy: I know, I felt bad.


(It’s bath night, but Daddy is on a conference call and can’t bathe Alex.)
Alex (to Daddy): Mommy’s gonna take us both a bath, because it’s a special treat.
Daddy: Oh… well I might be able to give you a bath.
Alex: I want Mommy to take me a bath, because I love her.
Daddy: Oh, and you don’t love Daddy?
Alex: I love you Daddy but I want Mommy today.
Daddy: Okay.
(Alex runs off, then stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns back to Daddy.)
Alex: And when I go down for nap you can give me a kiss.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And that’s all.
Daddy: Okay.