I ate your head. It all gone.

(Claire puts on her pants all by herself.)
Claire: I a big girl.


Claire (to Alex): I ate your head. It all gone.

Claire (to Daddy): Uh eat your head. Uh eat your eye.
(Claire eats Daddy’s eye.)


Alex (to Claire): I’m gonna throw the TV at you and bonk you in the head.
Alex (pretending to throw something): Bonk!


Claire: You play with me, Daddy? Play with me?
Daddy: Yeah, we’re all gonna play together.
Claire: Yayyy! Play together!


Alex (to Daddy): When I’m a daddy, I can sleep in your bed!


Claire: Uh other cars and trains and Doc and Stickers and ‘Igi.


(Daddy takes Alex and Claire for a ride in the car to “look at things”.)

(Daddy approaches a red light.)
Claire: Wait, turn green. Wait, turn green.
(The light turns green.)
Claire: Green now!

Claire: Look! Dere it is!
Daddy: Did you see a green building, Claire?
Claire: Dat green! I see it!

Claire: Dig dig dig dig dig dig dig! Daddy.

(Daddy pulls the car up to a construction site, in front of a sign that says “Road Closed”.)
Alex: Does that say: “Just. Men. Have. To build. In there. No. Cars. Driving. In there.” Does that sign say that?

Claire: ‘Nuh train. Choo, choo! Say – ride on train – “choo choo!”

Alex: You can tiptoe in the forest. Can’t you.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: I drive this way when I go to my Target.


(Alex and Claire are coloring.)

Claire: Look Mommy Daddy! Look Mommy Daddy! Look! I made bath.

Alex: I made another picture of a pig, and there is a lizard, and you see that, and, uh, there’s the bathtub, and there’s the toy that I was putting on it, and you see that, the ship, the big ship that Daddy wants, going on, it’s, it’s – the pool, here’s the pool right over here, and I was swimming that inside the pool and then, Daddy was running over toward the moon, I saw it.


(lunch time)

(Claire finishes her lunch.)
Claire: I ate pasta, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: I ate carrots and orange and pasta, Daddy.
Daddy: Good job.

Daddy (to Alex): Go ahead and eat your pasta, Bud.
Alex: Go a—go ahead and eat your computer, Bud.


(Alex twists his arm.)
Alex: When your arm does that -- and it hurts... does -- does your bone break?


(dinner)

(Claire hears a noise.)
Claire: Dat Mommy?
Daddy: Mommy’s upstairs.
Claire (sadly): Oh. Uh Mommy. Uh Mommy eat my head.

Truck Mommy.

(Claire and Alex are doing a jigsaw puzzle together.)
Claire: Uh working together, Daddy! Uh working together!


Claire: I ate, some cheese. I ate too much yogurt, Daddy, too much yogurt. Too much yogurt.
Daddy: You ate too much yogurt?
Claire: Yeah, too much yogurt.


(Alex comes downstairs; Claire is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.)
Claire: Ah-yah come down! Ah-yah get Elly!
Alex: I got Elly and I went potty up there.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: It was just a minute.


(riding in the car)

Claire: Car coming. Be careful.

Claire: Big tree.
Daddy: Yeah, a big tree.
Claire: Uh talking to Mommy.
Mommy: Yeah, big tree, Claire.
Claire: Uh talk Truck Mommy.
Mommy: A truck? I didn't see it.
Claire: Truck Mommy.
Daddy: I think she's talking to Truck Mommy.
Mommy: Oh. Are you talking to your truck, Claire?
Claire (who is holding a toy truck): Yeah.

Claire: My thumb reading book.
Daddy: You're reading a book?
Claire: My thumb.
Daddy: Your thumb’s reading a book?
Claire: Yeah.


(dinner)

Claire: You eat your sandwich?
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Is it yummy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: When I’m a mo – when I’m a daddy, I can eat a sandwich.
Mommy: Mm-hm.
Alex: A big sandwich.

Alex (playing with his french fry): Does it look like a pig? Does it look like a fox? It’s a bunny, hop hop hop hop hop.

Uh reading books with my baby.

(Claire is playing with her baby doll. Daddy and Alex are getting ready to watch Endless Ocean: Blue World.)
Alex: Do you want to watch the lady with us, Claire?
Claire: No. Uh reading books with my baby.

(Claire was in the train room by herself for a long time, and now rejoins everyone else in the family room.)
Claire: Uh home!
Mommy: You’re home, Claire?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Were you at work?
Claire: Yeah. Uh party.
Mommy: You went potty? Great!
Claire: Uh party.
Mommy: Oh, a party?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Tell me about it.
Claire: Eat cupcakes.

(Claire is serving cupcakes.)
Claire: Mommy. Be careful. Be careful. Be careful cupcakes. Be careful. Hot.


(Claire burps.)
Alex: Say “excuse me,” Claire.

Claire: You eat lunch, Daddy?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Did you eat lunch at work, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, I ate lunch at work.
Claire: Mommy eat lunch at work?
Daddy: Yeah, Mommy ate lunch at work.
Claire: Grommie eat lunch at work?
Daddy: No, Grommie doesn’t go to work.

Uh go Pablo house, Montana.

(dinner)

Alex: I’m tired of chicken nuggets.

Claire: Uh more nuggets. May I – may I, please? Uh said “may I!”


Alex: Look at these balls, Mommy, we’re gonna do a game.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: Hide them, and then I’ll eat them.


(Alex uses the potty.)
Alex: Don’t flush it until I’m outta here.


Alex: Let’s make a big mess, Claire.


Mommy: Hey, do you guys wanna go upstairs now, or in two minutes?
Alex and Claire (in unison): In two minutes!

Claire (to Alex): Uh go Pablo house. Uh go Pablo house, ‘tana. Uh go Pablo house, Montana.

A daddy!

Dora: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Alex: A daddy!

Dora: Can you say “arriba”?
Claire: Arriba!
Dora: Say “arriba”!
Claire: Arriba!
Dora: Again!
Claire and Alex (in unison): Arriba!
Dora: One more time!
Claire and Alex (in unison): Arriba!

Dora: To get the letter down, we say “abajo”!
Claire: Abajo!
Alex: Abajo!
Dora: Can you say “abajo”?
Claire: Abajo!
Alex: Abajo!
Dora: Again!
Claire and Alex (in unison): Abajo!


(Daddy comes home from work. Claire and Alex are eating brownies.)
Claire: Daddy!! Eat – brownies!!

Claire (to Mommy): Uh have brownie?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Oh.
Claire: Yummy?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Oh.


Alex: Look! We’re building a house, Daddy! A soft house.

I need a baseball bat, so I can throw the ball, and a baseball glove, so I can do baseball. But I have nothing.

(breakfast)

Claire (to Daddy): Uh piggytails.
Daddy: Okay.

Claire: Uh Mommy take shower?
Mommy: Yeah, I took a shower!
Claire: Now you go to work?
Mommy: Yeah, in a minute.

Dora: To count the stars, say “estrellas!”
Claire: Stars!

(Mommy leaves for work.)
Claire (to Daddy): Mommy give Ay-yah a kiss?
Daddy: Yeah, she did.
Claire: Oh.
Claire: Ah-yah -- Mommy gave Ah-yah a hug?
Daddy: Yes, she did.
Claire: Oh.

Alicia: To call Click, say “click”!
Alex and Claire (in unison): Click!
Click (singing): Say click!
Claire: Click.
Click (singing): Take a pic!
Claire: Pic.
Click (singing): Say click!
Claire: Pic.
Click (singing): Take a pic!

(Daddy puts on Claire’s socks.)
Claire: Gray? Gray, Daddy?
Daddy: That’s right, it’s gray.
Claire: Like Ah-yah’s!
Daddy: Yeah!

Alicia: Say “zigzag!”
Alex: Zigzag!
Claire: Sog-sog!
Alicia: Can you say “zigzag”?
Alex: Zigzag!
Claire: Zah-zah!
Alicia: Louder!
Alex: ZIGZAG!
Claire: Zah-zah!!
Alicia: Again!
Alex: ZIGZAG!!
Claire: Zah-zah!!
Alicia: Once more!
Alex: ZIG-ZAAAAG!!!
Claire: ZAH-ZAH!

Alex: Can I tell you something, Claire? I had a dream about a dragonfly, and you were there. And Alex was there, but Mommy and Daddy were inside.


Alex: I need a baseball bat, so I can throw the ball, and a baseball glove, so I can do baseball. But I have nothing.


(Daddy gets Claire up from nap.)
Claire: Uh go get clothes.
Daddy: You go get your clothes.
Claire (singsong): Uh big big helper!


(snack time)

Claire: Dat.
Daddy: What, this?
Claire: Nectarine. Uh, peaches.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Uh, from, Grandpa house, and, Grandma house.
Daddy: That’s right!

Claire: Where Ah-yah, Elly?
Claire: Where Ah-yah, Elly?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Where Bobo and Elly?
Daddy: Maybe they’re in Alex’s bed.
Claire: Where your Bobo Elly, Daddy?
Daddy: I don’t have a Bobo and Elly.
Claire: I have Juju Mallory.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Uh Mommy, Juju Mallory?
Daddy: Does Mommy have Juju Mallory?
Claire: No…. Mommy at grocery store. With Ah-yah.

Claire: Uh more blueberries, please. Uh say “May I!" May I, please.
(Claire grins.)

(Claire squishes a blueberry.)
Claire: Squishy, Daddy. Squishy, Daddy.
Daddy: Yeah.
(Claire eats the blueberry.)
Claire: All gone.
(Claire squishes a blueberry.)
Claire: Squishy, Daddy. Squishy, Daddy.
(Claire eats the blueberry.)
Claire: Uh ate it all.

Claire (waving): Bye-bye, Daddy! Bye-bye, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye-bye, Claire.
Claire: Bye-bye, Daddy. Say bye-bye your hand.
Daddy (waving this time): Bye-bye, Claire!

Claire: Uh say bye-bye Ah-yah.
Daddy: Bye-bye, Ah-yah!
Claire: No say bye-bye Ah-yah. Ah-yah at grocery store.
Daddy: Ah-yah’s at the grocery store, yeah.
Claire (smiling): Uh say bye-bye at home.
Daddy: Bye-bye at home!
Claire (in a “that’s silly” voice): No… No bye-bye at home. Don’t… don’t, have hands… talk.


(Claire is preparing to read books on the couch.)
Claire: Uh, Daddy, sit ‘side me.


Alex (to Mommy): Can I wipe my finger on your shirt?

I didn’t like the part where the dog ate me, but I liked it when he was bouncing all the balls.

(Claire comes home from school.)
Claire: I ate peaches!!


(Alex and Claire wake up from nap.)

Alex: I had a little dream.
Daddy: Yeah? Was it a good dream?
Alex: I liked part of it.
(Pause.)
Alex: I didn’t like the dog eating me. I liked chasing the dog and the dog followed me.
Daddy: Oh.

Alex: The other part was the sidewalk was squishy.
Daddy: Oh. That’s weird.
Alex: Sidewalks aren’t squishy.
Daddy: No, they’re not squishy.
(Pause.)
Alex: And it was a little big.
Daddy: The sidewalk was big?
Alex: Yeah.

(Alex points to the word “Clorox” on the Clorox wipes container.)
Alex: This says: “Just for people, for wiping the floor.” Does it say that?
Daddy: It says “Clorox”, which means that.

(A little later, Alex tells Mommy about his dream.)
Alex: I didn’t like the part where the dog ate me, but I liked it when he was bouncing all the balls.

Claire: Mommy have little toes. Uh have some.
Mommy: Where are they?
Claire: Under your legs.

Mommy: Red toes.
Claire: Red toes. Uh have red toes?
Mommy: You don’t have red toes. I painted them.

Alex: I looove getting water! I like getting water.
Mommy: I like you.
Alex: I like Daddy. I like when he wakes me up.

(Mommy changes Claire’s diaper.)
Claire: I got cream, Daddy.

Daddy: You know what we’re gonna do, Alex?
Alex: What?
Daddy: We’re gonna draw the letter D!
Alex: That’s right. I remember.
Claire: I draw too!
Mommy: You like to draw, Claire?
Alex: I like to draw.
Claire: I draw, one, two, three!
Mommy: Oh yeah?
Claire (shaking her fingers): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!!
Mommy: Oh!

Mommy: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…
Claire: Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, f—fourteen!

Alex: Neer wasn’t at school today.
Daddy: Oh. Where was he?
Alex: He was at home, I think.
Mommy: Is he sick?
Alex: I don’t think so. He had a green snot at school every day.
(Mommy laughs.)

Alex: Grommie, don’t lick my hand! I have pee on my hand.

(Alex is washing his hands.)
Alex: Daddy, could you do me a favor? Could you put Elly and Bobo on the sofa for me?


(dinner time)

Alex’s fork: Please, can Alex have some more peach please?
Daddy: Yes you may.
(Daddy gives Alex some more peaches.)
Alex: Thank you, fork!
Alex’s fork: You’re welcome, Alex.


(Mommy takes Claire into her room for bedtime.)
Claire: Grommie! Come into my room, Grommie!


Alex: Yesterday, I wanted to tell Mommy my words, and I wanted to tell Daddy my words… and I had something sticking out of my nose, and I heard the trash truck. That’s why I was sad.


(Alex is already in bed, but shouts down the stairs to Daddy.)
Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes?
Alex: What if I dream about Dora?
Daddy: Oh that’s a good idea.
Alex: And Diego?
Daddy: Okay, do that.
Alex: Yeah.

Ah-yah’s shoes drink coffee, Daddy?

(Claire is unzipping her sleep sack.)
Alex: It’s hard to open a sleep sack, Claire. You’ll be stuck in there forever!


Claire: Uh piggytails. My hair bah me.


(Gromit sneezes.)
Alex: Bless you, Gromit.


Claire: Drink coffee?
Daddy: Okay.
(Daddy drinks some coffee.)
Daddy: Yummy!
Claire: (Mumble) drink coffee?
Daddy: You want me to drink some more coffee?
Claire: Me.
Daddy: No, Claire doesn’t drink coffee! Silly!
Claire: Mommy drink coffee?
Daddy: Yeah, Mommy drinks coffee.
Claire: Ah-yah drink coffee?
Daddy: No, Ah-yah doesn’t drink coffee.
Claire: Grommie drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Grommie’s a dog!
Claire: Elmo drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Elmo doesn’t drink coffee.
Claire: Ah-yah’s shoes drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Ah-yah’s shoes?
Daddy: No, silly!
Claire: Does Grover drink coffee, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Grover doesn’t drink coffee.


Claire: My knee better.


(Claire plays with Daddy’s hair.)
Claire: Uh have black hair, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
(Claire touches her own hair.)
Claire: Uh have black hair too.


Claire: Uh my trains down, and my Doc, and my Stickers, and my trains!


Alex (speaking in the style of Dora and Map): Play... lunch... Grandma’s house! Play... lunch... Grandma’s house!


Alex: The animal store is the biggest building in the whole world!


(The family is visiting Carter’s Mountain with Grandma and Grandpa, to pick peaches.)

(Claire picks a peach.)
Claire (excited): Uh show my peach uh Mommy!

Alex: Whoa, I'm falling down the steep hill!

Alex (to Grandma) I wish I could watch a storm at your house.




















(in the car)
Alex: I saw train tracks!!!


(at Grandma’s house)
Claire: New soap! There new soap, at Gamma house!


(dinner, at Grandma’s house)

(Alex watches while people get up from the table to serve themselves seconds.)
Alex: Why can’t I have more things, like the grown-ups?

(Alex and Daddy talk about the book “Bigmama’s House.”)
Daddy: Bigmama means “Grandma”. You can call Grandma “Bigmama” if you want.
(Pause.)
Alex: What’s Bigmama drinking?


(driving home from Grandma’s)

Claire: I see dark clouds. Thunder coming.

Alex: That’s the digger we saw on the way to Carter’s Mountain.

Alex: Why did you say “PJs” at Grandma’s house?
Mommy: What?
Alex: You said “PJs” at Grandma’s house. Why?

(Apparently Alex and Claire are talking, although Claire’s side of the exchange is inaudible.)
Alex: No!
(Pause.)
(Alex lets out an exasperated sigh.)
(Pause.)
Alex (sternly): Claire. Stop talking to me. I’m very tired.

(Claire cries long and incessantly about something that no one can understand. Mommy is at her wits’ end.)
Mommy (in exasperation): Okay, cry, Claire.
Claire (upset): No cry!
Claire (upset): No cry!
Claire (upset): No cry!
Claire (upset): No cry!
(Claire continues to repeat this mantra for about 15 minutes, during which time everyone else in the car sits quietly.)
(Mommy turns around to face Claire.)
Mommy (calmly): Okay.
(Claire stops crying.)
(Silence.)
Alex: What are you talking about?
Mommy: Oh, we’re just conversing.
(Pause.)
Alex: I don’t know what – what’s Claire – what’s Claire – I don’t know what Claire’s talking about. Claire, what are you talking about?


(at home)

(Claire starts running around the kitchen, and Mommy tells her there’s no time for that, because it’s late and time to go to bed.)
Alex (to Claire): Yeah, I know you really like that game. We’re not gonna do that game today, ‘cause everyone’s tired.

One, two, three, go! Go bread!

(breakfast)

(Claire sees her socks for today.)
Claire (excited): Dora socks!!

Alex: May I have a napkin for my cheek? There’s butter on it.

Claire: Grommie not going. Grommie not going.
Daddy: Grommie’s not going?
Claire: Yeah. Grommie’s not going to the beach.


(Daddy, Alex, and Claire wait in the car while Mommy makes a quick stop at the grocery store.)
Claire: Bump Mommy’s head.
Daddy: Don’t bump Mommy’s head?
Claire: Don't bump Mommy’s head in grocery store.
Daddy: I don’t bump Mommy’s head in the grocery store?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.


(on the way to the river)

Claire: We’re at the beach, Daddy! We’re at the beach!

Claire: Funny trees, Daddy. Funny trees.

















(Claire is playing “go away and come back” with Daddy.)
Claire: Say “bye-bye”, Daddy!
Daddy: Bye-bye!
Claire: Say “bye-bye”, you hand.
Daddy (waving this time): Bye-bye!


Alex (fidgeting around the kitchen): I need to get to that beach!

(Alex plays with the Leapfrog barn toy on the fridge.)
Alex: I’m gonna do a cow-pig, a pig, a horse. Maybe I can do it.
(Alex puts a cow’s head and a pig’s behind in the toy, and holds a horse’s head in front of the cow’s head.)
Toy: A cow pig?
Alex: And there’s a horse!


(Alex is setting the table.)
Alex: Can someone help me fold this napkin?

(Daddy is helping Claire to wait for her toast to pop up.)
Daddy: Can you count to ten?
Claire: One, two, three, go! Go bread!
Mommy: You have to count to ten!
Claire: One, two, ten!
(Claire laughs.)
Mommy: You’re silly.

(A few seconds later.)
Claire: One, two, ten!
(The toast pops up.)


Alex: My favorite thing was doing – pouring – was pouring Dana out into the water. I liked doing that!


Alex: I love playing in the sand!


(Bed time. Alex is finishing “his words”.)
Alex: And two more: and play chickies and play dogs. Did you hear me?
Mommy: Yes.
Alex: Okay. And I will see you in the morning.
Mommy: Okay.

Please don't touch the dancers.

Why does she have one eye closed and one eye open, like a pirate?

Alex: I love to do water play but, I love to do water play, I love to play in water because I like to swim and play in water.


Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Alex?
Alex: When it's daytime, why do you have to do lunch at daytime?
Daddy: I don’t know.

(Claire picks up a piece of Kix and talks to it.)
Claire: Eat it.
Claire: Eat it.
Claire: Eat it.
(Claire eats the Kix.)


Alex: I love this pillow. It’s my favorite pillow in the world.


Daddy: What’s your favorite color?
Alex: Blue. And brown – I mean grey, and green.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And orange. And also I like, also I like, red and yellow.


(Mommy is watching TV, and Alex wanders in and becomes mesmerized by a commercial for Proactiv acne solution.)
Daddy: Alex, I thought you were going to make a house and a tunnel.
Alex: But I’m watching this.
Daddy: Just because the TV’s on, you don’t have to watch it.
Alex: But I like this movie.
Daddy: What’s this movie about?
Alex: Lotion.


(Alex is playing by himself with his little people and trucks.)
Alex: We speak Spanish. Can you say “abasso” to get the truck’s digger to go up? Abasso!


(Alex passes gas.)
Claire: Dat gas, Ah-yah?
Alex: Yeah, excuse me.


(Daddy goes upstairs to get a toy for Claire.)
Claire: Uh wait, you come. Uh wait here on stairs.


(Claire is pushing her car to the other room.)
Claire: Car going to animal store.

(A little later, Claire brings the car back.)
Claire: We’re home, today. We’re home. Went to animal store.


(dinner)

Claire: Uh more.
Daddy: You want more? More what?
Claire: Mac cheese.
Daddy: More mac and cheese? Ok, there you go. Say please?
Claire: Please!
Daddy: Okay.
(Pause.)
Claire: Thank you, Daddy.
(Claire gives Daddy a big smile.)

Alex: I ate everything in my house and I ate my house.

Alex: I'm - I'm gonna be full in two minutes.

(Claire runs with her stroller throughout the following exchange.)
Claire: I'm fast, Daddy! Uh go faaast!
Daddy: Yeah!
Alex: Watch out for things, Claire! Watch out for big things!
Claire: Okay. Watch out, wall.
Alex: Okay, watch out for that wall. You’ll bump into it. Crash!
(After a bit, Claire suddenly stops and stands silently for several seconds.)
Alex: Why’d you stop, Claire?
Claire: Stoplight.

(Mommy is using Daddy’s laptop.)
Claire: Dat Daddy’s.
Mommy: That’s right, that's Daddy’s. Daddy’s letting me use it.
Claire: Daddy shares. Daddy shares. Daddy shares.
Mommy: That’s right! Daddy’s sharing it with me.


(bed time)

(Daddy is reading a book to Alex. The book shows a picture of a girl winking.)
Alex: Why does she have one eye closed and one eye open, like a pirate?

(Claire comes into Alex’s room for kisses. As she passes Grommie, she bends over and kisses him on the nose.)
Claire (to Daddy, smiling): Uh kiss Grommie.

(Daddy told Alex to say the words fast to Mommy, because Mommy needs to lie down.)
Alex (to Mommy): Can I slow down if I get tired of saying the words fast?




Life jackets can't protect you from everything.

If they're dark, I don't like them. If they're on, I like them.

Daddy: You know how to put your pants on.
Claire: I'm big, Daddy.


Dora: If you see Swiper, say "Swiper!"
Claire: Swiper, no swiping.

Dora: Is this the treasure chest?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: No.
Claire: No.

Dora: Is this the treasure chest?
Alex: No.
Claire: No.

Dora: Is this the treasure chest?
Claire: Yeah!
Alex: Yeah.


Alex (to Daddy): Can you sing the map song -– it goes "I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map" – to me?
Claire: I'm map, I'm map!


Alex: Claire poked me in the eye.

Alex: Claire's hitting me. Will you make her stop?


(Alex explains his feelings about lights.)
Alex: If they're dark, I don't like them. If they're on, I like them.

You'll be a Mommy, Claire. Just like I'll be a Daddy.

(breakfast)

Dora: To call the stars, say “estrellas!”
Claire (calling out): Staars!

Alex: I sneezed and waffle came out of my mouth.

(Alex and Claire get chocolate.)
Alex: I’m waiting for Claire to eat hers and then I’ll eat mine.

(Claire puts her chocolate in her mouth.)
Alex: Until it’s all gone and it goes in her tummy I will eat mine’s.

Alex: That’s how you chew, Claire. Can you do that next time, Claire?

Alex: I love drinkin’ and eating chocolate.


(Claire comes down from nap. Daddy is lying on the sofa.)
Claire: You a little sick, Daddy?


(Claire, Alex, and Mommy are getting ready to go for a ride in the car.)
Daddy: Where are you going?
Claire: Um, go look… at… funny house and funny stores.


Claire: Uh eat Kix at school. Uh -– pff -- eat Kix.
Daddy: Did you eat Kix at school?
Claire: Yeah.


(Alex is going to the bathroom, with the light out. Claire is following him, hesitantly.)
Alex (to Claire): It's okay. It's not scary. Claire, c'mon.


Alex: You'll be a Mommy, Claire. Just like I'll be a Daddy.
Claire: Yeah. Uh be Mommy.
Claire: You be Daddy.

Claire (running around the kitchen): Uh be Mommy, uh be Mommy, uh be Mommy!


(Mommy is in the bathroom with the door closed. Claire shouts to her through the door.)
Claire: Mommy!
Mommy: Yeah, honey?
Claire: Get out!
Mommy: Okay, I'm coming!
Claire: Okay!
(Claire comes running into the kitchen.)
Claire: Mommy coming! Mommy coming! Mommy coming!


Claire: Uh tummy hurt.

Claire: Sick, Daddy?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Sick, Daddy?
Daddy: No, I'm not sick.
Claire: (mumble) sick.
Daddy: Who's sick?
Claire: Me.


(dinner time)

Alex: It's so good!

Alex: Thank you for my dinner, Mommy.

Ha ha! That funny.

Alex: Claire’s touching me!
Mommy: Claire, no touching.
Alex: Claire – Claire’s touching me again!


Claire: Uh take my shoes off.
Claire: Uh take my shoes off.
Daddy: You’re gonna take your shoes off?
Claire (with a big grin): Yeah.
Daddy: Okay.
(Claire takes her shoes off.)
Claire (proudly): Uh take my shoes off!


(Alex is eating lunch. Claire is happily running back and forth between the kitchen and the family room.)
Alex: Daddy, Claire’s not listening.
Daddy: What do you want Claire to do?
Alex: I want her to eat.
Daddy: Oh, Claire already had lunch. She had lunch at school.
Alex: Oh.
Daddy: You could ask her what she had for lunch.
(Silence. Claire is still running around.)
Claire (on her next pass through the kitchen, still running): Uh had nuggets, Ah-yah, uh have nuggets at school.

(Alex jams his bread onto his thumb, so his thumb sticks out the other side.)
Alex: Daddy – look what I did with my bread, Daddy!
Daddy: That’s – pretty awesome.
Alex: It’s a funny thumb!


Claire: Mommy, play cups! Uh playin’ cups!
Mommy: You’re playing cups?
Claire: Mommy, do this one.


(Alex picks up the TV remote and holds it like a telephone.)
Alex: Huzz-oohhh! I’m Alex! See you later, Shnock!


(Daddy is putting Claire down for nap.)
Claire: Bye Ah-yah! Bye Mommy! Bye Grommie!
Alex and Mommy (waving): Bye!
Claire: Grommie dog.
Daddy: Right.
(Claire closes the bedroom door.)
Claire: Grommie doesn’t talk.


Mommy (to Claire): Do you think you could go with Alex to the dentist next time he goes?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy (to Mommy): I don’t know, do you think Claire’s big enough to go to the dentist?
Mommy: I don’t know.
Claire: I’m big! I’m big!
Mommy: You’re big? Are you big enough to go to the dentist?
Claire: Yeah!!


(During nap, Claire is talking quietly to herself and laughing a lot.)
Claire: Ha ha! That funny.


Claire: Uh wa Callum’s house.
Daddy: You went to Callum’s house?
Claire: Yeah. And the pool.
Daddy: And the pool, wow.
(Pause.)
Alex: We didn’t go swimming at the pool.
Daddy: Oh? What did you do?
Alex: Um, I ate pizza. And I drank lemonade.


Mommy: Hey. Alex, don’t get near her. And Claire, don’t touch faces.
Claire: No. No, Mommy.


(Claire is coloring.)
Alex: Do you wanna play strollers, Claire?
Claire: No. I’m playing color right now, Ah-yah.


Alex: Do these cook – chocolate chip cookies…
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: …live at Callum’s house? And he said we could take them?


Alex: What did you do, Claire?
Claire (proudly): Open the gate!
Alex: All by yourself?
Claire: Yeah!
Alex (sounding impressed): Good job!


Alex: I want Mommy to take me a bath today.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: No Daddy.
Daddy: Okay, no Daddy.
Alex: Because you’re sick.
Daddy: Okay.

Daddy! Piggy tails!

(Claire and Alex come home from school.)
Claire: Daddy! Piggy tails! Little piggy tails. Little piggy tails.
Daddy: Do you have piggy tails?
Claire: Yeah. Little piggy tails.
Alex: I wanna touch them.
(Alex touches Claire’s pigtails.)
Claire (to Alex): Uh have piggy tails, Ah-yah?
Alex: No… I can’t… Boys don’t… wear piggy tails on their hair.


(Alex is saying “his words” to Mommy at nap time.)
Alex: … and play Daddy. I say that because I love Daddy a lot.


(Daddy is lying on the sofa.)
Claire: You sick, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Are you still a little bit sick, Daddy?
Daddy: I’m still a lot sick.
Alex: Why are you a little bit, and a lot sick?
Daddy: Because I'm not better yet.


Mommy: Hey guys, thanks for playing so nicely –
(Claire screams at Alex.)
Mommy: Well.


(Alex plays with his matchbox cars.)
Alex: Kirk’s my best friend.
Alex: Oh no. Kiiiiiiiiiiiirk!
Alex: Come on, Kirk!


(Alex plays with the barn. Apparently, a thunderstorm is coming.)
Alex: Everyone get in the barn!
Alex: Everyone get in the barn!
Alex: Everyone get in the barn!
Alex: BOOOOOM!
Alex: BOOOOOM!
Alex: BOOOOOM!


Alex: I like the baseball, ‘cause it’s my favorite ball.


Alex: I love this pan. I looooove this pan. I wanna play with it for the rest of the day.

Pushing a book.

Claire (pushing a book across the kitchen floor): See Daddy? See Daddy?
Daddy: I see you Claire bear, what are you doing?
Claire: Pushing a book.


(Alex and Claire are playing cars and trains on the kitchen floor.)

Sir Topham Hatt: Thomas, you have to go with – with – with Toby, to unload at the docks, and help him with the flowers.
James: Okay, bye-bye.

Alex: Help! Help, help! Scruffey needs help!
Claire: Luigi coming. ‘Igi help.

Alex: I don’t have three hands, Claire! I – look! I just have two hands! I don’t have three hands!
Alex: I can’t carry all this stuff.


Alex: I had a dream.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: It was a big bunny reflection.

Alex: I didn’t like it.

When the men built the house for us, did Mommy put the toys in?

Claire: Water, Daddy.
Daddy: You have water.
Claire: Water in my chair.
Daddy: Oh. You ready to get down?
Claire: Yeah. Grommie clean up.
(Daddy helps Claire get down from her chair.)
Claire: Grommie! Water in my chair! Grommie!

(Claire is holding birthday cupcakes.)
Claire: Uh be three, Daddy.
Daddy: What’s three?
Daddy: What?
Claire: Three.
Daddy: What’s three?
Claire: Me.


(Claire, Alex, and Daddy are at the playground. Claire and Alex are on a playset bridge, and Daddy stands down below.)
Claire (to Daddy): Go away, troll! Go away!


Claire: Look, Daddy! Uh have socks like Ah-yah.
Daddy: That’s right, Claire!
Claire: Uh have purple socks. Uh have purple socks on my feet.
Daddy: Those have grey on them, Claire.
Alex: And white. And white, Daddy.


(Alex finishes taking off his shoes.)
Alex: I’m pretty tired of takin’ off my shoes.


(dinner)
Alex: Do germs eat our food if we don’t wash our hands?


(Alex talks on the Wii remote, as if it’s a telephone.)
Alex: Troy! I was just gonna tell you that I was gonna bring you money?
Alex: Did you want money? Okay!


Alex: When the men built the house for us, did Mommy put the toys in?

Uh more chicken nuggets.

Claire: Friends at ‘chool. Play at ‘chool. Play at home.
Daddy: Yeah. Play at school, play at home, that's your life.
(Pause.)
Claire: Be happy at ‘chool. Be happy at ‘chool.
Daddy: Be happy at school?
Claire: Yeah.


Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: In the big storm, it blew pine needles onto the deck.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: That was crazy.


(Snack time. Alex holds up his hand to shield his eyes from Claire.)
Alex: I'm blockin’ Claire so she can't see me.


(Alex is building a machine.)
Alex (to Claire): You’re messing up the pipe – you messed up that querkle. The pipe doesn't want you to mess up the querkle.


Alex (to Mommy): I have to do measuring first. Measuring with my hammer.
Mommy: Okay, do your measuring.
Alex: The measuring’s not good. It’s dangerous. So I have to do it.


Alex: Claire won't play with me, someone else will have to play with me.


(Alex talks into a Lego “phone”.)

Alex: Hi. Do you have any quirks?

Alex: Hiii. I'm a new baby. Do you have a new baby at home?
(Pause.)
Alex: I just have circles for you. Bye.


(dinner time)

Daddy: Claire, do you color at school?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: Good! What else do you do at school?
Claire: Play toys.

Claire: Mommy? Mommy?
Mommy: Yeah
Claire (laughing): Uh more chicken nuggets.
(Claire laughs to herself, silently.)
Claire (still laughing at her own private joke): Ha, hahaha. Ha, hahaha.

Claire (chanting): Alex Alex Alex Alex
Alex (whining): Don’t say my name! I’m trying to eat!

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Alex.
Alex: Yesterday when we were at the new bookstore and Claire hurt her lip on the stairs, I didn’t want you to walk away from me, and, you have to stay with me.

Happy birthday to my cake

(Claire pees in the potty.)
Mommy: Did you go pee-pee?!
Claire (very excited): YEAH!
Mommy: Good for you!
Claire: Uh get chocolate!


Alex: That chocolate was yummy! I like – I love chocolate.
Claire: You love chocolate!


(Alex and Claire are playing with flashlights.)
Alex: Oh. Sorry Claire, I -- I shined in your eyes, I'm sorry.


(Claire plays cupcakes.)

Claire (singing): Happy birthday to my cake
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to my cake
Claire (clapping her hands): Yay!

Claire: Happy birthday to Daddy cake.
Daddy: Aw. Happy birthday to Daddy’s cake.
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Daddy cake
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Claire cake
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Claire cake
Claire:Yay!


Alex: When I go to school I’ll tell my friends that I hurt my foot at the bottom of the pool.
Mommy: Okay.


(Alex plays with a flashlight.)
Alex: When I shine it on my foot, I can see my foot shadow.


Alex: Lights, turn back on!
Mommy: What?
Alex: I was talking to the lights.
Alex: Lights, turn back on!
Mommy: I don't think the lights are a very good listener.
Alex: No. Time out!
Alex (to Mommy): I gave the lights a time out.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Lights, turn back on!


(Claire climbs into Alex’s bed and lies down.)
Claire: Uh Elly and Bobo.

Uh my Elly?

Alex: I wanted to tell you something at nap time. I wanted to tell you I want milk for breakfast.


(Claire is playing toy cupcakes.)
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to you
Claire (singing): Happy birthday my cake
Claire (singing): Happy birthday my cake
(Claire laughs.)


(Claire gets a Hershey’s kiss.)
Claire: Uh ate chocolate.
Daddy: Yeah, you ate chocolate.
Claire: Uh ate chocolate.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Daddy see? See, Daddy?
(Claire opens her mouth and points at the chewed up chocolate in there.)
Daddy: Yeah, I see it.
Claire: Oh.

Claire: Uh more chocolate.
Daddy: No, I think that’s all the chocolate.
Claire: Why?
Daddy: You ask “why” for everything.
Claire: Ah-yah poop, get more chocolate.
Daddy: You poop to get more chocolate?
Claire: No, Ah-yah poop.
Daddy: Alex poops, yeah.


Daddy (to Claire): We’re friends. You’re my friend.
Claire: Uh girl. Not friend.


(Claire gets Daddy a toy cupcake.)
Claire: Uh cupcake, Daddy? Say “yes please”.


Claire (talking to herself during nap): Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy. Mommy Daddy Claire. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy Daddy Daddy.


Daddy: Hi Alex.
Claire: Hi Ah-yah.
Daddy: Hi Ah-yah.
Claire: Hi Ah-yah. Hi brother. Hi my brother.


(The roofer can be heard hammering on the roof. Then he stops and all is silent.)
Alex: Hammer man! Hammer man! I cannot hear you!
(Pause. The hammering starts up again.)
Alex (excited): He hammered! I told him to hammer!








(Alex is teaching Claire how to chew with her mouth closed.)
Alex: That's not how you chew with your mouth closed, like this.
Claire: I'm doing it, Ah-yah, I'm doing it!
Alex: No. Like this.


Mommy: We need it to rain from the east.
Claire: Oh. Need rain for garden.
Claire (addressing the trees): Need rain! Trees?
Claire: Need rain, for garden, need rain for garden!


Alex: Bee! Bah! Bo!
Alex and Daddy: Bee! Bah! Bo!
Alex: I'm being like a giant!
Alex: I’m being like a giant!
Alex (in a rough voice): Get out of my cave!


(Claire climbs into Alex’s bed and lies down.)
Claire: Uh my Elly?


(Claire is in bed, singing quietly to herself.)
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to you
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Mallory
Claire (singing): Happy birthday Mallory
Claire: Yay.

I have something to tell someone.

(breakfast)

Backpack: Can you find the sticky tape?
Claire (pointing): There sticky tape, right there.

Alex: I’ll tell my friends that I have Diego on my backpack ‘cause I hurt myself.
Daddy: That’s a good idea.
Alex: When I hurt it on my toy kitchen and Claire wasn’t being nice.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: When you get hurt you should go to the doctor, and when you get hurt you should get a band-aid, and when you get hurt you should take a ambulance to the hospital, and when you – when you get hurt, you have to have ice!

Claire: Waffle pop! Daddy go get it.
Claire: Yummy waffle, yummy yummy.


(Alex and Claire are making pizza with Mommy.)

Claire: Big big big ‘mato!

Alex: Could I eat some of the cheese?

Mommy: ‘Kay, put some more on, Alex.
Claire: ‘Kayyyy?? Mooooore??
Alex: She was talkin’ to me.

Mommy: Okay, little bit more.
Claire: Uh beh – little bit more.

Alex: We ate some cheese, Daddy.
Claire: Uh eat some cheese, Daddy. Uh eat some cheese. Uh eat some cheese.
Daddy: You ate some cheese?
Alex: Mommy said we could eat some.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire: Uh eat some cheese. Uh eat some cheese. Uh eat some cheese, Daddy.
Daddy: You ate some cheese?
Claire: Yeah.


Claire (counting shoes): One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN!
(Note: There are, in fact, ten shoes.)
(Pause.)
Claire: ‘Even, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, eleven, twenty, thirteen!


Daddy: Claire, what’s your last name?
Claire: Uhhhhh. Claire.
Alex: Claire bear!
Daddy: Claire bear?
Alex: Yeah.
Daddy: So what’s Claire’s last name?
Alex: Claire-Bear. Claire Claire-Bear.


(Claire is playing with the toy camera.)
Claire: Uh take picture you.
Daddy: You wanna take a picture of me?
Claire: Uh take picture of you little baby.
Daddy: Okay.
Claire: Say cheese!
Daddy: Cheese!
(Claire takes Daddy’s picture.)
Claire: Uh make ‘nother one. Say cheese!
Daddy: Cheese!
(Claire takes Daddy’s picture.)


Alex: Look at my new sippy cup!
Daddy: Wow, look at that! Where’d you get it?
Alex: From the brown truck.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: I have two for me and two for Claire.
Daddy: Oh!
Alex: I have a blue one and a green one, and Claire has a purple one and a pink one.


(It’s about 1:00 in the morning, and Alex is in bed, trying to get someone’s attention.)

Alex: I want milk for breakfast.

Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
(Alex sniffles.)
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
(Alex coughs.)
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
(Alex coughs and whimpers.)
(Alex’s voice gradually increases in volume, until he’s almost shouting.)
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone.
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
(Alex whimpers unintelligibly.)
(Alex whimpers unintelligibly.)
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
Alex: I have something to tell someone!
(Pause.)
Alex (whimpering): Please.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
(Silence.)
(Alex cries.)
(Alex whimpers.)
(Pause.)
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone.
(Alex whimpers for an extended period.)
(Silence.)
Alex (crying): I have something to tell someone please? I need to tell someone something, please? I need to tell someone something.
(Pause.)
Alex (crying): I want to tell someone something.
(Alex cries.)
(Alex says something unintelligible while crying.)
(Alex cries.)
(Alex says something unintelligible while crying.)
(Alex’s cries grow louder and louder.)
(Mommy gets out of bed, goes to Alex’s room, and says something inaudible. She then closes Alex’s bedroom door and goes back to bed.)
(Alex begins screaming and crying, saying something unintelligible.)
(Alex continues to scream and cry, saying something unintelligible.)
(Alex gets out of bed, runs to his bedroom door, and opens it.)
(Alex stands at his bedroom door and screams unintelligibly into the hall for a while.)
(Mommy gets out of bed and stomps angrily into the hall.)
(Alex runs back to his bed, still crying.)
Alex: I stopped. I stopped. I stopped, Mommy. I stopped. I stopped.
(Silence.)

It's Greenish-Blue Day?

(It's “Wear Green” Day in Alex’s class. Daddy dresses Alex in the closest-shade-to-green shirt that Alex owns.)
Alex: Is it Parents’ Day and so I’m wearing blue?
Daddy: You’re wearing blue with green. You’re wearing greenish-blue.
Alex: It’s Greenish-Blue Day?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Okay. I understand.

Alex: Do you want the parrot?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: It says “Happy Claire’s Day!”

Alex: I showed Claire how to blow her nose hard.
Daddy: Good!
Alex: And she did it!
Daddy: Good!

When I was little, I used to laugh when you would do silly things.

(Claire finishes reading her book.)
Claire: The end! No more pages!

(lunch time)
Claire’s nugget (to Alex): Hi nugget. Hi nugget. Hi nugget. Uh nugget. Hi. Uh elephant.
Alex (irritated): I’m eating my green beans right now.


Alex: I like this Barney book.
Claire: That favorite book, Ah-yah.


(Daddy opens the refrigerator. Alex sticks his arm out to hold Elly just inside the door.)
Daddy: What are you doing?
Alex: I’m getting Elly cold in the ‘frigerator so I can lie on her.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: I got Elly cold in the ‘frigerator so I can lie on her. Because I like her cold.
Daddy: Okay.

Mommy: What do you want for snack?
Alex: I want blueberries and strawberries.
Mommy: We don’t have strawberries.
Daddy: I want a million dollars.
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: When I was little, I used to laugh when you would do silly things.
Daddy: Yeah, when you were little, you used to laugh when I did silly things.
Alex: And I – when I was a little baby, I pooped. Little babies poop.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: I pooped in my diaper.

(Mommy is going to take Alex with her to Whole Foods.)
Alex: I will get my own cart there. They have own carts for boys and girls.


(dinner time)
Alex: When I’m a daddy, I can drink soda.

After I put these connectories in? The machine will be ready, okay?

(in the car)
Alex: This is the way to Nana’s house, but this is the drugstore.
Daddy: Yeah.


(At the library, Alex sees the book “Shortcut”, the sequel to “Bigmama”.)
Alex: Is that Bigmama’s book about they were on the train tracks?


(Alex is making a giant pile of toys, books, chairs, etc.)

Alex: Hi Daddy, I’m build a new machine!

Alex: First, I need to put these deliveries in here. I need to put batteries. You see?

Alex: You see there’s a box in here? That’s, so, if the wheels to turn off. We need to do that.

Alex: Do you wanna see what it does, something? You see if it goes fast, it will go like this.

Alex: Make sure Claire doesn’t mess up the machine. Okay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: Because she will, knock, knock, knock, all the things down. Okay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: And I will be upset.

Alex: Except, Bert and… and Thomas need to go inside. Well.

Alex: Those are for all this. These are the batteries. Well this is the box.

Alex: Look at these big books. These are big books.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: This goes up and down when you make the wheels go.

Alex: Is everything fine over there? Yeah.

Alex: Well, you see that thing’s hangin’ on it?
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Well. You see this is a pantry. You see this is, this is the machine. That’s not what we’re gonna do. You see?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: You see that? I can do that. Watch, Daddy. I can do something with my foot. On the machine. It has to do this.
Daddy: Be careful. Okay?

Alex: I need something to hold it up from under there.

Alex: So, these are connectories. They won’t stay up.

Alex: After I put these connectories in? The machine will be ready, okay?
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: The machine’s ready! Watch what it does. I’m gonna turn this button on. Watch what it does.
Daddy: Okay.
(Alex plays with the machine, seemingly at random, turning wheels and knocking things over.)
Alex: The wheels need more batteries. The new battery fell out. Where’d it go? Oh. It’s there.
Alex: Oh. The battery’s broke. I need a new battery. It’s not going anymore.
Alex: Well. This goes up here. Now. This button’s gonna do something.
(Alex manipulates parts of the machine, as follows. He picks up a baby stroller and shakes it around. Then he rocks a chair back and forth. (The machine pretty much falls apart in response.) Then Alex shakes a stroller while banging a book on the floor. He pushes a shopping cart around. He knocks everything over. He spins the wheels on the baby stroller. He knocks over the shopping cart.)
Alex: You see that? That’s what the machine does!
Daddy: That was great, Alex!
Alex: And watch this.
(Alex pushes a chair around some more.)
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: And one more thing.
(The game continues.)


Claire: Uh tissue.
Daddy: Okay, I’ll get you a tissue.
Claire: Dere crusty in my nose.
(Claire uses the tissue.)
Claire: Little crusty.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: Uh get it out.

Clean clean clean Ah-yah.

(Daddy and Claire go into Alex’s classroom to pick him up from school. Alex is nowhere to be seen.)
Claire: Ah-yah in potty.

(Alex is washing his hands after using the potty.)
Claire: Ah-yah clean.
Daddy: Alex is getting clean.
Claire: Clean clean clean Ah-yah.

(Alex sneezes.)
Daddy: Bless you.
Alex: Thank you.
Daddy: You're welcome.
Alex: You don't say “you're welcome”.
Daddy: You don't? I thought when someone says "thank you", you say "you're welcome."
Alex: If someone gives you something, you say "thank you", and then you say "you're welcome."
Daddy: Oh.

(Claire comes home from school.)
Claire (to Mommy): I eat lunch at 'chool!

I'm gonna not play with my fork, not play with my spoon, and chew with my mouth closed every day!

(Claire is pretending to leave for work.)
Claire: Uh go to work, Mommy.
Mommy: Okay. Have fun!
Claire: Uh hugs kisses.
Mommy: Okay.
(Claire gives Mommy a hug and a kiss.)
Mommy: Bye!


(Alex is pushing a stroller before dinner. He stops to make an announcement.)
Alex: I'm gonna not play with my fork, not play with my spoon, and chew with my mouth closed every day!
Mommy: Good for you, Alex.
Alex: I'm a big boy, so I'm gonna do those things.


Alex: I'm not scared of the front door anymore.

What’s wrong with your cache?

(breakfast)

Alex: I want Mommy to walk around and give us things.

(Claire has two waffles on her plate.)
Claire: Look, Daddy, look.
Claire: T -- two waffles.
Daddy: Two waffles, good!
(Claire picks one up off of her plate.)
Claire: Just one!
Daddy: That's right! Good!


(snack)

Alex: I love those grapes!
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah. They're the best grapes in the whole world.


(dinner time)

Alex: Crunch crunch crunch! If you crunch a grape, it will say that. Your teeth will do that to the grape. Crunch crunch crunch!

Alex: Rice doesn’t crunch, because, it’s not a hard thing.

Mommy: I can’t get Facebook to load.
Alex: Is your battery low?
Mommy: No, I think my cache is messed up.
Alex: What’s wrong with your cache?

Alex: Mommy I want you to come over here because I want to show you something that big boys do.

(Alex plans ahead for what he’ll do after dinner.)
Alex: Claire, will you be nice?
Claire: No. I be nice!
Alex: ‘Kay. And we’ll play nice together.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Yes.

Alex: Why does Elmo have no shoes on? On my fork.
Daddy: I don’t know, why do you think Elmo has no shoes on?
Alex: No, why does Elmo have no shoes on?
Daddy: Maybe it’s because he’s a monster.
Alex: No, he’s not a monster. Cookie Monster’s a monster.
Daddy: Oh, okay. What is Elmo?
Alex: Elmo’s… a friend.

(Daddy makes a funny face at Claire.)
Claire (laughing): Silly Daddy!

I want three minutes.

(Alex is in his swim class.)

Miss Kelly: Let's do elephants.
Alex: And then – and then – and then crocodiles!

(Alex’s classmates are chatting.)
Alex (to his classmates): My baby sister, um, my sister, Claire, is not a baby anymore. She's a big girl.

Alex (to Miss Kelly): Can I go next?
Alex (to Miss Kelly): Can I go next?
Alex (to Miss Kelly): Can I go next?

(Alex laughs.)
Alex (to no one in particular): I'm standing way down! In the water!
Alex (turning to Daddy): Daddy.

(Alex’s classmates are chatting.)
Alex (to his classmates): What are you talkin’ about?
Alex (to his classmates): What are you talkin’ about?
Alex (to his classmates): What are you talkin’ about?
Alex (to his classmates): What are you talkin’ about?

(The class blows bubbles for “five monkeys”.)
Alex (to Miss Kelly): I did four!
Miss Kelly: You did? That's good.
Alex: I did four!
Alex (showing four fingers): That's four.

Alex (to Miss Kelly): Then can I go next?
Alex (to Miss Kelly): Then can I go next?

(Later.)
Alex (to Miss Kelly): Then can I go next? Then can I go next?

(The lifeguard blows his whistle.)
Alex: That was loud!


(Claire sees Nana’s tomatoes sitting on the counter.)
Claire: Uh pick ‘mato at Nana’s house!


(It looks like a storm is coming.)
Claire: Garden need rain.

(Earlier, Alex was crying and fussing a lot. Now he has finally settled down for a while.)
Claire: Ah-yah not sad. Ah-yah not sad.

Claire: I hear thunder. I hear thunder.
Mommy: You hear thunder?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Neat.
Alex: It's not a trash can, Claire.

Claire: Rain need water.
(Pause.)
Claire: Garden need water.
Daddy: That’s right.
Claire: Yeah.

(Mommy is talking to Alex, and doesn’t hear Claire.)
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet.
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet.
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet.
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet, Mommy.
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet.
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet!
Claire (to Mommy): Baby get wet.

Mommy: Baby gets wet?
Claire: Yeah.

Claire: Rain, really hard. Rain, re-- really hard.

Claire: Loud trash can. Loud trash can, Mommy.
Alex: I call it thunder, you call it trash can!
Claire: Loud trash can. Loud trash can.
Mommy: It's a loud trash can?
Claire: Yeah.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: I don't think so.


Claire: Help, Daddy.
Daddy: What do you need help with?
Claire: Puzzle.
Daddy: Oh, let's not do the puzzle right now, we're about to go upstairs. You wanna go upstairs with Daddy?
Claire: No.
(Pause.)
Claire: I want three minutes.