Five comes after four, Mommy. You know that.

(Claire is throwing Mallory around the kitchen.)
Claire: I’m throwing Mowry, Daddy.
Daddy: I see that, yeah.
(Claire throws Mallory again.)
Claire: Daddy, I’m throwing Mallory.


(dinner)

Daddy: Claire, if you could have dinner with any three people in the whole world, who would they be?
Claire: Ferghetti.
Daddy: Spaghetti? Alex, how about you?
Alex: Um, Grandpa, and Uncle Doug, and, um… um… Daddy.
Daddy: Aw, thanks.
Alex: Just mans!

Alex: Five comes after four, Mommy. You know that.

(Claire shakes her spoon, while making a high-pitched squeak that sounds a lot like the famous Psycho music.)
Daddy: Claire, have you seen Psycho?
Claire: No.
(Claire makes the noise again.)


Alex: Look, Daddy, I can wink.
(Alex squints his eyes.)

We don't eat poop.

(Daddy is talking to Claire and Alex about taking them out somewhere.)
Claire: Can Alex notta go?
Daddy: You want Alex to not go?
Claire: I want just us.



(In the car, Alex, Claire, and Daddy are talking about Toy Story characters.)

Claire: And Ham has pennies in his bottom.

Claire: Slinky the Dog has a bottom.
Daddy: Yeah, Slinky the Dog has a bottom.
Claire: He sayed, that's a bottom.



(Claire wakes up from nap.)
Claire: Time to wake up?
Claire: The sun's up, Mommy! The sun's up!

(Mommy is changing Claire's poopy diaper.)
Claire: We don't eat poop.
Mommy: Yeah!
Claire: It's yucky.
Mommy: Yeah, we don't eat poop.
Claire: 'Cause it's yucky.



(Claire and Alex come home from Nana and Pop's house. Daddy has a pizza in the oven.)

Claire: I smell pizza.

Claire: Mommy said, "Alex, don't play with the cabinet. It's Nana and Pop's."

Claire: A polar bear is coming!
Daddy: A polar bear?!
(Claire runs off.)
Claire: Run! A polar bear is coming!



(dinner)

Alex (pointing at his applesauce): Look Daddy, there's a cliff!
Claire: What?
Alex: There's a cliff. People can walk here, but if they walk here they'll fall down the cliff!

Mommy: You guys are gonna have to eat dried fruit for a few days. I'll go to the store on Wednesday.
Alex (sounding incredulous): What?!
Daddy (sounding incredulous): What?!
Claire (sounding incredulous): What?!
Alex: What are you talking about?!
Claire (in a gruff voice): What are you talking about?!
Claire: I'm talking in a funny voice, Daddy.

(Claire wants Mommy, not Daddy, to get her down from the dinner table.)
Claire (whining): I want Mommy.
Alex: I let Mommy and Daddy do stuff to me!

A tree!

Alex (talking about Toy Story): Sid's not gonna get a present from Santa. He's gonna get coal.


(Alex is eating, and Claire is playing.)
Claire: Alex? Can I play with your Buzz Lightyear?
(Pause.)
Mommy: Alex, Claire asked you a question.
Alex: Um… too busy eating.
Mommy: I guess that would be a “yes” then, Claire.


(Daddy is reading a Dora book to Claire.)
Daddy: “This riddle is tricky, you'll have to think twice!”
Daddy: “When water freezes, it turns into…”
Claire: A tree!

Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!

(Alex is having snack, and Claire is playing in the kitchen.)

Claire: Watch me run really fast, Daddy!
(Claire runs across the kitchen.)

Claire: Watch me Alex, I'm running!
(Claire runs across the kitchen.)

Claire: Watch me run really fast and I'ma win, Alex.
(Claire runs across the kitchen.)
Alex: Wow, that's really fast! You went a long way.

Claire (to Daddy): Alex got me a sticker 'cause I didn't look at -- at his poop and his pee.
Daddy: Wow, that's nice!
Claire: Thank you, Alex.
Alex: You're welcome.

Daddy: Did you get enough to eat, Alex?
Alex: Yeah, but I have food in my mouth, but I don't want to choke on it.
Daddy: Yeah I don't want you to choke on it.
Alex: That'd be not good.

Claire: I'ma show Nana how I'm gonna run! Really fast.
Claire (running): Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!


(dinner)

(Daddy is eating a sandwich.)
Claire: And I can be a daddy and I can eat a sandwich.

Claire: I need to pee!!
Mommy (rushing over to help Claire down from her chair): Okay.
Claire: I need to pee! Hurry hurry! I'm gonna pee in my underwear!

Alex: I can get you a sticker, Claire.
Claire: Okay, but I -- I wanna get my -- my sticker by myself, Alex.

Mommy: Do you want me to get the thing, so you can sit on the big potty?
Alex: Um, no. I sit on the big potty, and I, and I, and I don't fall in the pee.
Mommy: You are so big.

Why are they skating? Is that ice golf?

(Daddy asks Claire why she got a sticker and happy stamps at school.)

Claire (indicating one happy stamp): Because I cleaned up.

Claire (indicating one happy stamp): Because I sayed the pledge.

Claire (indicating her sticker): Because I said rocket ship.



Alex: Can I show you something, Daddy? I got a sticker.
(Alex points to the sticker on his shirt.)
Alex: Because I'm always a good listener at school.
Daddy: That's great! Good job!
Claire: What did you do, Alex? What did you do?


Claire: I have Blue's Clues underwear.


Mommy (to Claire): Maybe we should have pizza.
Alex: I WANT PIZZA! I WANT PIZZA! I WANT CHEESE PIZZA!


Mommy: Hey Alex, if you try on one of these pairs of pants, I'll give you a big hug and kiss.
(There is a long pause while Alex considers this.)
Alex: No.


(Highlights of an ice hockey game are showing on TV.)
Alex: Why are they skating? Is that ice golf?

My poop is like a square.

Claire: I'm poopy. My poop is like a square.

Claire: I have a BIG poop.

Claire: Poop goes in the potty.


Claire: I wanna get a sticker 'cause I peed on the potty.
Daddy: Okay, go tell Mommy.
Claire: Mommy!! I peed on the potty!!

Alex: In the middle of the night, I sat on the big potty to get some pee out, Daddy.
Daddy: Good for you!


Alex: My foot hurts because it’s growing.

Alex: Callum bite me at school.

I need to go potty because I have underwear.

(Alex and Claire come home from school.)

Claire: Mommy gonna uh go with Wendy.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: And you play with us.

Alex: Daddy, I carried my backpack, all the way home, with my coat on, and my backpack on my coat.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: And it's so cute!


(Grommie and Claire are going up the stairs for nap time, with Alex and Daddy trailing behind.)

Daddy: Grommie's gonna get there first.
Claire: I'm gonna get there second.
Alex: I'm gonna get there third.
Alex (to Daddy): You're gonna get there forty-one.

Claire: I need to go potty before I wash hands.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I need to go potty before I wash hands, Alex.
(Claire sits on the potty.)
Claire: I need to go potty because I have underwear.

Alex: I'm gonna use the big potty.

(Alex is sitting on the big potty.)
Alex: I'm peeing.
(Claire claps.)

(Both kids finish peeing. Alex flushes the toilet.)
Alex: I flushed it by myself.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I need to wipe.
Alex: I'm a big boy!
Claire: I need to wipe first.
Daddy: Yeah.

Alex: Can I do it again?
Alex: I wanna do the big boy potty again.

(Alex and Claire are washing hands and brushing teeth.)

Alex: I got all the germs off.
Alex: It's important to wash your hands and brush teeth.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: I got all the germs off too.

Alex: I need some water, I'm thirsty.
Claire: I need some water too, I'm thirsty too.

Alex: At school I was doing something, I was playing boat and all of us were playing water with people, but… I think the boo-boo is from the water, from the playing water, like the mulch is it. Can you get me a band-aid? Can you get me a band-aid, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah, I can get you a band-aid.
Alex: I want Toy Store. With Woody and Jessie on it. And Bullseye and Buzz Lightyear. All those people. Woody and Jessie and Bullseye and Buzz Lightyear.


(Daddy is reading a bedtime story to Alex and Claire. Right after Daddy turns a page, Claire makes him stop and go back to the previous page, so she can say something about it.)
Alex: Claire always says, if she wants to say something, she waits ‘til you turn the page.

Uh. I don’t remember eating that!

(Daddy is changing Claire’s diaper. Claire mumbles something about “Mommy” and “doing better”.)
Daddy: Did Mommy do it better?
Claire: No, Mommy not do better, you do better. Mommy was hurting to me.


(Claire is in bed during nap time.)
Claire: Look! The sun’s up!
Claire: Mommy, the sun’s up!
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, look the sun’s up now! The sun’s up!
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, the sun’s up, it’s time to wake up!
(Pause.)
Claire: Mommy, the sun’s up! Wake up now!


Claire (proudly): I’m keeping dry in my underwear, Daddy.


(Alex takes off his Bob hat.)
Alex: Bob doesn’t wanna keep his hat on right now, he’s hot in it.
Alex: But he can keep his belt on, he keeps his belt on every day. Even when he’s sleeping.
(Alex laughs.)


Alex: Can you talk about Toy Store?
Daddy: What would you like to know?
Alex: Um… Why did the… why did the… why did the toys try, um… to go in cones? Why, Daddy?

Claire: Why did, uh, Buzz Lightyear go on the road?

Daddy: All right, do you have other questions for me?
Claire: Um, why – um, why – why did Buzz Lightyear go on the road, Daddy?

(Other questions from Alex. These are not all-inclusive, nor are they verbatim.)
Why did Buzz Lightyear say that Zurg was his father?
What’s that thing the prospector is carrying?
What does it do?
What were those things that Buzz Lightyear threw at Zurg in the elevator?
Why did Rex say “I don’t wanna use my head”?
Why does everything look red when Zurg looks at things?
Why does Zurg’s mouth be yellow when he talks?
Why does Zurg have a black tummy?
Why did the elevator have to be in the vent?
Why was Slinky trying to scare the girl?
Why were all the packages in that sliding thing that made the packages go?
And what was that thing that drives the packages?
Why did the man take the package and then Woody couldn’t get Jessie?
Why did the big girl take the prospector?
What’s the man that took Woody’s name, and what’s the man that cleaned Woody?
Why did the little girl get the prospector to be the king and the doll to be the princess?
And why did the doll have stickers on her face?
Why did Buzz have letters on his wing?
And why did Buzz say “what are you laughing about”?
And why didn’t Buzz see Woody have a funny face, and why did he not laugh?
What’s the man’s name with the pink balls?
Why doesn’t Zurg have a nose?
But why was he in the bushes?

(These questions are from Claire. Again, not verbatim.)
Why did Jessie pull Woody on the airplane?
Why did Woody fall down the airplane?


Alex: The part I liked was when Buzz Lightyear said “uh” and said “I don’t remember eating that!” I liked that part.
Daddy: I know you do.
Alex: Uh. I don’t remember eating that!
(Alex laughs.)
(Note: Alex will continue to repeat this joke occasionally for weeks to come.)


Claire: Daddy! I peed on the potty!
Daddy: Oh, good for you! You’re keeping your underwear dry!
Mommy: Claire stayed dry all, day, long. All, day, long.
Alex: Claaaire! She’s a big girl.

Shopping cart on the bay-zhay…

Alex (singing while he plays with tools): I can fix anything, if I have my tools!

Claire (talking into the pager): Are you coming to my house, um, um, um, Bay-Zhay?


(Claire pushes her shopping cart, and sings, to the tune of “Jingle Bells”.)
Claire: Shopping cart, shopping cart…
Claire (singing): Shopping cart on the bay-zhay…


(Claire is playing Cupcakes.)
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (to Daddy): It’s Alex’s birthday.
Daddy: Oh.
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex
Claire (singing): Happy birthday to Alex


Claire: I peed in the potty!!


Claire: Can I give you a kiss, Mommy?

Claire: I love you, Mommy.


Claire (at the table): May I have more get down please?


Alex: Remember you have underwear on, Claire.


(in the car)
Alex: Daddy, look at the road.
Daddy: What do you see?
Alex: There’s a can in the road.
(There’s a water bottle lying at the side of the road.)
Daddy: Oh, they shouldn’t do that.
Alex: That doesn’t take care of your Earth.


Daddy: Who’s your very best friend?
Alex: Callum and Neer. They’re my very best friends.

(Daddy sighs.)
Alex: Why’d you say “uhh”?
Daddy: Because I’m a little bit tired.
(Pause.)
Alex: Why’d you say “because I’m a little bit tired”?
Daddy: Because you asked me why I said “uhh”.
Alex: Why’d you – why’d you say what you already said?


(Mommy gets Claire up from nap.)
Mommy: Are you poopy?
Claire: No, you are poopy, Mommy. You are poopy.


(Alex brought some stickers home from Angelina’s party.)

Claire: Mommy, Alex needs to go pee-pee before he gets them.

Claire: Alex, you need to go pee-pee before you get these stickers. Yeah?


(Daddy shows Claire the microphone that goes with the Xbox karaoke game – which she hasn’t played in many months.)
Daddy: Do you remember this, Claire? What do you do with this?
Claire: Um, you, put it in your mouth.
Daddy: And then what do you do?
Claire: Um, make a sound.


(Claire and Mommy are getting ready to leave the house for some special time.)
Alex: Hey, Daddy?
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: Um, I’ve got a new rule.
Daddy: Okay.
Alex: If – if Claire and Mommy are gone, we can watch TV.

Claire, I think you’re ready to drive the car, since you’re wearing underwear now.

Alex: Look at my funny costume!

Claire (putting Juju and Mallory in a cabinet): Daddy, I wanna do hide-and-seek with Juju, and Mallory.
Daddy: That’s a great idea.
(Claire leaves them in the cabinet and wanders around, then returns and opens the cabinet.)
Claire: There you are!


(Alex sits in his chair, and puts his feet up on a stool, like an ottoman.)
Alex: I’m doing what Grandpa does.


(Daddy is watching a basketball game.)
Alex: That says Virginia, that’s ours.


(Daddy is sitting on the sofa watching a basketball game. Claire brings her chair over, sets it down next to the sofa, and has a seat.)
Claire: I wanna watch with you, Daddy.


Alex: And I have some lip stuff too if anyone needs some on the way.

Claire: Penguins on your hat, Daddy.
Daddy: What?
Claire: Penguins on your hat.
Daddy: Yeah!


Alex: I don’t smoke.
Claire: I don’t smoke.
Alex: Smoking is not polite.


(Daddy finishes his cup of coffee.)
Claire: Daddy? Is your coffee being all gone?
Daddy: Yes.
Claire: Is it all gone?
Daddy: It is, yes.
Claire: Let me see.
(Daddy tilts the empty mug so she can see that it’s empty.)
Claire: All gone.


Alex: I think Claire’s a big girl.
Daddy: Yeah, she is.
Alex: Claire, I think you’re ready to drive the car, since you’re wearing underwear now.


(Claire is lying on her back in bed.)
Claire (chanting, slowly): I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …I’m…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …putting…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …something…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …on…
Claire (chanting, slowly): …here…

Do you toast bananas?

(Mommy, Alex, and Claire are getting ready to go to the children’s museum.)
Alex: Mommy, can you put on my shoes and socks?
Claire (to Alex): You put on your own shoes and socks.


(dinner)

(Alex is eating grapes.)
Alex: This one’s tiny.
Daddy: Tiny, yeah.
Alex: This one’s big.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: Big and tiny are opposites.

Alex: Mommy, I wanna tell you a joke.
Mommy: Do you have to?
Alex: What?
Mommy: Go ahead.
Alex: Do you toast bananas?
Mommy: What?
Alex: Do you toast bananas?
Mommy: Do you toast them?
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: No. Is that a joke?
Alex: Yeah.
(Alex laughs.)
Alex: It’s silly!
Mommy: Yeah.

Sometimes Grandpa looks orange.

(Claire sees the picture in the hallway.)
Claire: I see Alex kissing Claire Bear.


Alex: I like to help Claire when she’s sad because she helps me when I’m sad.


Alex: Hey Callum, can I tell you something? My Grandpa got – his chest hurts – he crashed into another car, he smashed into another car, I always liked his red car, but it’s smashed up!

Alex: Hey Callum, can I tell you something? You know what Elly – what Eliane said? To listen to our words.

Alex: Hey! I’ve got a good idea. How ‘bout we put this tire on it? You wanna put this big tire on?


Alex (explaining his choice of color, when drawing a picture of Grandpa): Sometimes Grandpa looks orange.


Alex: There’s air in our house.
Daddy: There’s air in our house?
Alex: Yeah. It makes you breathe.

His red shiny car got all smashed up.

Alex (to Daddy): Grandpa hurt his tummy, and he crashed into a different car.

Alex (to Claire): What’s your name?
Claire: Claire Bear.
Alex: What’s your name, Claire?
Claire: Um I’m, Claire Bear.

Alex: Claire Bear Gatewood.
Claire: Um, Alex… Boy.


Alex: Hey Claire. His red shiny car got all smashed up. A tow truck had to tow it… to where tow trucks live.
Claire: Oh.
Alex: It got all smashed up.


Alex (talking about the picture he’s going to draw for Grandpa): I’m gonna draw him in a helicopter because he likes helicopters.


(Alex and Claire are watching Toy Story 2, and there’s a scary part.)
Claire: I don’t want to watch this part.

I have Fermato Man, so he can make pizza and carrots, and yummy pizza and carrots, bringing them in his pocket.

Alex: Claire, you didn’t eat much at breakfast.
Claire: Yeah ‘cause I didn’t hungry.

(Mommy is leaving for work, late.)
Claire: Why you, are still here, Mommy?
Mommy: ‘Cause I’m late.

(Mommy gives Claire a kiss.)
Claire: You smell like lip stuff.


(Claire comes home from school.)
Claire: Hi Daddy!
Daddy: Hi Claire Bear!
Claire: I didn’t eat my broccoli.


Alex: Callum is crazy and crazy and crazy.


(Claire sits in a crab position, and moves her bottom from side to side.)
Claire (proudly): I’m moving side to side!


Claire: I can get my wipe by myself.


Alex: But I can’t talk to persons that don’t know me, that I don’t know. But we can talk to Oakley, he’s nice, so we can talk to him.


(Claire drew a picture.)
Claire (showing her picture to Daddy): I have Fermato Man, so he can make pizza and carrots, and yummy pizza and carrots, bringing them in his pocket.

Claire (showing her picture to Mommy): Look Mommy, I’ve got Fermato Man, getting some pizza and carrots for his dinner, in his pocket, and some more for him!

Claire (showing her picture to Alex): It’s Fermato Man, and have pizza and carrots for lunch, and him have more (inaudible), and he bringing them in his pocket!

That’s where I put my batteries in, and I need to do my contests, and I need to read my books envelopes, and I need to change my meetings, and...

(Daddy is changing Claire’s diaper. Claire starts moving her arms up and down, as if making a snow angel.)
Claire (smiling): There’s snow in my room!
(Daddy laughs.)
Claire: That’s silly! I’m silly.


(Claire is coloring in her Charlie Brown coloring book.)
Claire (sounding full of herself): Who needs a brown hat? Snoopy, you need a brown hat? Charlie Brown, you need a brown hat?
Claire (to Daddy, smiling): I talk to them! They’re not talking.


Alex (upset): Claire’s in my persable space, look!


(Claire and Alex are watching Caillou, and the episode includes a scarecrow.)
Claire: Mommy, a ‘carecrow can’t talk. A ‘carecrow can’t talk.


(breakfast)

Claire: Can we play bouncy balls after breakfast?
Daddy: Yeah, we can do that.
Claire: Okay.
Alex: Okay.
Claire: I want the blue one. I like to play with the blue one.

(Alex and Claire are watching Backyardigans.)

Claire: Grrr. They’re grrr-ing. They’re grrr-ing, Alex.
Alex: Yeah. But they’re still good.
Claire: Yeah. They’re still good.

Claire: And he’s ‘livering the mail. He’s ‘livering the mail.

Claire: My hand’s hurting, and the waffle is hot. It’s too hot.

Backyardigans: Grrr!
Claire: Grrr!
Claire (to Daddy): I said “Grr” too.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire (to Daddy): Grrr. Grrr!
(Daddy acts scared.)
(Claire laughs.)

(Claire is driving her car around the house.)
Claire: Daddy, I’m gonna get some gas, ‘cause, the road is bumpy.

Backyardigans: See you next time!
Claire: Okay!! Bye-bye!!
(Claire laughs.)

Alex: I can be the mailman, and you, and you can ride on your motorcycle, Claire.

(Alex finally finishes his breakfast.)
Alex: Let’s play bouncy balls!
Claire: Okay, and I’m gonna get the blue one!


Alex (playing Storekeeper): Does anybody have an email?

Claire (taking off her pants): I can do my pants by myself, Daddy, look!
Daddy: Oh, good!
Claire: I’m showing you!

Alex (still playing): Hey Daddy? Since nobody sends an email to me today, I’m gonna go back home.

Alex (singing): Mommy send me an email! Mommy send me an email! Mommy send me an email!
Alex: I better go see what the computer says!


(Alex has built himself a little “office”.)

Alex (to Daddy): That’s where I put my batteries in, and I need to do my contests, and I need to read my books envelopes, and I need to change my meetings, and I need to (stammer mutter), and I need to put my flowers in, then I need to change my batteries again, and then I need to turn on my buttons, and then I need to check the dots, and then I’m all done.
Alex: Isn’t that a long time?


Claire: I’m putting my socks, all by myself, Daddy.
Daddy: Good for you!

Alex: We’re going somewhere to play soccer.
Claire: Oooooooooh! Fuuuuuuun!
Alex: We’re going somewhere to play soccer.
Claire: Oh... that fun!


(Alex is still talking about his “office”.)

Alex (to Daddy): I changed the day, for my setup working thing. You see, this is where I change the day. You see?

Alex: No no no, we’re not gonna do those days. Saturday is Friday, and Sunday is… is… Monday. Saturday’s – no Tuesday, uh, Saturday is Tuesday, and, Sunday is Monday.

Alex: Mommy, you whined, and that means you’re acting like a baby. You whined. A little bit.
Mommy (whining): Uh!
Alex: No! That’s not nice. You’re acting like a baby. You can’t act like a baby, Mommy.

Alex: Mommy? I have to keep this every day, to do all my work stuff.
Mommy: Okay.
Alex: And, that’s gonna be called work, I can do work and schooool!!
Alex: But, if anybody wants bags, or books, they can get a moneybag!!
Alex: Mommy, can I show you, can I show you my moneybags? I’ll show you them.

Alex: So, if anyone wants books or bags, there’s money in them, and if anybody wants a bag, there’s books in some of them, if they, if they want books. Isn’t that silly?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: But I need to do my books every day. Do my meeting books, but they can’t take those. They’re only in the bags.


Alex: I like helping my daddy and my mommy carry heavy things.
Daddy: Yeah, I like that too.
Alex: And I like going to fun places.
Daddy: Yeah, I do too.
Alex: Like birthdays, or parties…
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: …or Thanksgiving!
Daddy: Yeah those are fun things.
Alex: And Christmas!
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: And getting presents from people.


(Claire and Alex are getting in the car to go play around on a soccer field with Mommy and Daddy.)

Claire (excitedly): I like a soccer field! We need to find one! That’s fun!
Claire (excitedly): That fun, Alex! That fun, Mommy!

Claire: I need a soccer! I need a soccer player!


(Daddy gets into the car after Mommy backs it out of the garage.)

Alex: Hey Daddy? Can I tell you something? When we were gonna back up, Claire said, “Wait for Daddy!”

Claire: And I said, Daddy gets in that side.


(Daddy is cleaning up, when he hears whispering.)
Alex (whispering): Daddy! Daddy!
(Daddy looks around but doesn’t see the source of the sound. Finally he sees Alex hiding under the dining room table. Alex beckons to him, so Daddy joins Alex under the table.)
Alex (whispering): I’m being sneaky.

(A little later, Alex is hiding under the table again.)
Alex (to Daddy): Come and sneak with me.


(Claire sings Twinkle, Twinkle to herself, loudly.)
Mommy: Yayyy.
Claire: Yayyyy.
Claire (to Mommy): No I say yay, you don’t say yay.


(Alex reluctantly takes his first-ever shower – not counting at the beach – but finds that he really enjoys it.)
Alex: Mommy, tomorrow I wanna have another shower. ‘Cause I like showers.


(Alex is in bed.)
Alex: Daddy, I wanna dream about ge—um, playing in the shower.

Is the basketball game real?

Alex: Monsters live in the forest up on a mountain.


(Claire and Alex are eating apple chips.)
Claire: Just bite it, Alex, just bite it.
Alex: If it’s too big I can.
Claire: Get a rectangle and just bite it.


(Alex just watched the entire Toy Story movie in one sitting.)
Alex: We watched the -- we watched the whole Andy. We watched the whole Toy Store.
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: We shouldn't have did that.


Claire: Can you play with me, Daddy?


(Daddy’s watching a basketball game on TV.)
Alex: Is the basketball game real?


Alex (to Mommy): I think I’m ready to go, but something’s missing on my body.

My foot is growing because I ate!

(Daddy's eating pepperoni pizza.)

Alex: I don’t' like macaroni and cheese. I don't like that pizza.
Daddy: That’s called pepperoni.

Alex: I don't want pepper on it.


Alex: My foot is growing because I ate!
Daddy: Your foot is growing because you ate?
Alex (cheerfully): Yeah, it -- it hurts!

I love you, Daddy.

(Claire sees a photo of Virginia on the fridge.)
Claire: That’s Virginia.
Daddy: Yeah. You like her, don’t you?
Claire: Yeah. I like her to play with me, ‘cause I like her.


(Alex takes Daddy’s blood pressure with his doctor toys.)
Alex: Um, you’re, five three four three two one.


(Callum comes over. Alex is “hiding” on the sofa.)
Callum: Hi Alex!
Alex: Hi Callum!
Callum: Why were you hiding?
Alex: I always do that when somebody’s at the door, or when somebody comes downstairs.


Daddy: Ready or not, here I come!
Claire (from inside the pantry): ‘Kay!


(While play Hide and Seek, Daddy and Claire are hiding under a blanket. Daddy gives Claire kisses.)
Claire: I love you, Daddy.

Oakley, don’t bark at me. I’m sleeping. I said that.

Daddy: Hey Alex, why is your name Alex?
Alex: Because that’s my name!
Daddy: But how did you get it?
Alex: We just made it up!
Daddy: Who made it up?
Alex: Daddy, I have to read now.


Claire: I’m a tiger!
(Claire grabs Daddy’s shirt and pretends to bite it.)
Claire (to Daddy): I ate your shirt, now it’s in my tummy!
Daddy: Oh no!
Claire: It’s a bone, so I can eat it!

(Claire repeats this with Mommy.)
Claire (to Mommy): I ate your sweater, it’s in my tummy!


Claire (army crawling across the floor toward Daddy): I’m swimming to you!


(Claire is in her bed. Oakley barks in his yard.)
Claire: I don’t want Oakley barking at me.
Claire: No, no, Oakley don’t bark at me! I’m sleeping!
(Oakley barks again.)
Claire: No, no, don’t bark at me. I said “I’m sleeping”.
Claire: Oakley, don’t bark at me. I’m sleeping. I said that.
(Oakley barks again.)
Claire: No bark at me again. No barking at me! I said, no barking.
(Oakley barks again.)
Claire: No barking again! I don’t want you (inaudible) I’m sleeping.

I like my Alex and Mommy time.

Claire (putting on her pants): These are pockets.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: These are big pockets.
Daddy: Yeah.

Claire (putting on her shirt): My pretty pink shirt.

(Daddy brings Claire downstairs.)
Claire: It’s still night time.
Daddy: Yeah, you woke up too early.

Claire: Why you put Buzz Lightyear here?

(Claire plays with the viewfinder.)
Claire: Dora and Swiper!
Daddy: Yeah.
(Flip.)
Claire: A rocket ship.
(Flip.)
Claire: It’s daaaaaark!
(Flip.)
Claire: Dora have a book!


Claire (singing): I’m-a get another book
(Pause.)
Claire (singing): I’m-a get another book


Claire (watching Sesame Street): Maybe give him a kiss, and he’ll wake up. Abby.


Alex (shouting from upstairs to downstairs): Look out the window, Claire!!
(Pause.)
Alex: Look out the window, Claire!!
(Pause.)
Alex: It’s snowing!!


(Alex doesn’t want to go to school, but instead wants to repeat the previous day’s activity, staying home sick with Mommy.)
Alex: Daddy? I like my Alex and Mommy time.


(Alex is trying to explain something to Claire, but Claire is not receptive.)
Claire (sharply): No! Don’t talk to me!
(Alex immediately bursts into tears.)
Alex (crying): Don’t hurt my feelings!


(Daddy stops playing Legos with Claire for a split-second.)
Claire: Play, Daddy!


Daddy (to Alex): Do you think Claire will be a mommy?
Alex: Yeah, but, she needs to lose her tooth, first.

Do you have spicy lips, Claire?

(dinner)

Claire: Mommy, I like chicken. Chicken is my favorite.

Alex: Do you have spicy lips, Claire?

Claire: Daddy? – no, no, no – Mommy? May I get some more apple?

Alex have a bike. I don’t need a bike, I already have a car.

(Claire and Daddy are reading a book. Claire points to a picture of a tricycle.)
Claire: Bike. Alex have a bike. I don’t need a bike, I already have a car.


Daddy (to Claire): Silly goose!
Claire (to Daddy): Silly pineapple!

Daddy, that football game is ah-kuh-kuh. Ah-kuh-kuh.

(Daddy is watching a basketball game.)
Alex: Daddy, that football game is ah-kuh-kuh. Ah-kuh-kuh.
Daddy: Ah-kuh-kuh?
Alex: Yeah. It has A, C, C.
Daddy: Oh!


Claire: I putting the chairs away.
Mommy: You’re so strong.
Claire: Yeah. And big.


(Alex is taking forever to finish his dinner.)
Mommy: Alex, are you done?
Alex: Nn-Nn.
Mommy: Come on, honey.
Alex: I love eating.

I’m swimming in the sea! I’m swimming in the sea!

Alex: When I grow up, I’ll have to go to work, but I will have trouble getting in the car, because my head will be too big!
(Alex laughs.)


Alex: Old persons don't have collars.

Alex: Can we go to a jungle one day?

Claire: A runny nose is mulch.

Alex: May I open your flaps first, Claire?
Claire: Okay.
Alex: If you let me open your flaps first, I'll let you pick your story.
Claire: Okay!
Alex: We are -- Daddy, we are friends.
Daddy: Yeah.


(Claire and Alex complete their first viewing of Toy Story.)

Daddy: So tell me about the movie, guys.
Alex: What?
Daddy: Tell me about the movie.
Alex: You already know the movie.
Daddy: Did you like it?
Alex: You watched it.
Daddy: Did you like it?
(Alex nods.)
Daddy: Claire, did you like it?
Alex: I liked it!
Claire: Yeah, I liked it.

Alex: Woody got stuck in Sid’s house, but, he went through the gate, and tried to get to the car, but, he couldn’t get there in time, so Buzz Lightyear had to fly, and get in the box. They got inside with Andy.
Daddy: How did Buzz Lightyear fly?
Alex: Well. He can fly.
Daddy: Oh.

Daddy: What was your favorite part, Claire?
Claire: Don’t know.
Daddy: What was your favorite part, Alex?
Alex: Well… um… my favorite part was, the toys went into the heat. They went, um, scary things went into the heat.
Daddy: You liked that?
Alex: Yeah I liked that part, but it was really dark, and they ran down a different part of it, and then, um, a crane, lifted a duck down, to the doorway outside it. It goes outside.
Daddy: Oh.
Alex: Isn’t that funny? Does it – does heat make holes go to the doorway?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Does, does heat come through, does heat come through the light bulb? What happens?
Daddy: Uh, yeah, heat comes from light bulbs.
Alex: No. Does heat come through the light bulb into the house?
Daddy: Um… light bulbs produce heat.


(Mommy brings Alex and Claire home from school, to find that Grandma’s car is parked in front of the house. Mommy points this out.)
Claire (excited): Grandma’s in our house! I like Grandma!


(Alex is going to Callum’s house. Claire has chosen to stay home with Daddy.)
Claire: I’m gonna stay with you, Daddy.

Mommy: Alex, if you’re not ready in five minutes, we’re not going.
Claire: And then you have to tell Eliane. Say, we, say, "Alex is not going."

Claire: Okay bye-bye Alex, go to, um, Callum house, okay? I’m gonna stay with Daddy.


Claire (doing an army crawl across the kitchen floor): I’m swimming in the sea! I’m swimming in the sea!


(Daddy just tucked Alex into bed, and is walking out of his room.)
Alex: How long will this be?
Daddy: Uh, until seven.
Alex: Is that long?
Daddy: No, it’s just one night.
Alex: Okay.

Uh! The rebel base?

(getting ready for nap)

Claire: I’m tired. I’m tired, Mommy. I waked up too early.

(Mommy reads Where’s Spot?.)
Mommy: Is Spot behind the door?
(Alex opens the flap.)
Alex: No.
Claire (to Alex): A bear.
(Claire opens the flap.)
Claire: No, a bear eating supper!
Mommy: What’s he eating?
Claire: Supper!
Mommy: Supper?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Well, supper’s dinner in Spanish.


Claire: I’m gonna do a magic trick for you, Mommy and Daddy.
(Claire takes off her shoes and socks.)
Claire: Look, look, look at me, Mommy and Daddy.
Mommy and Daddy: Good job!
Claire: I did a magic trick!


(Claire and Alex are watching Toy Story for the first time.)

Alex: They’re lost in Sid’s house, Mommy! Look they’re lost, in Sid’s house!

Claire (smiling): Get outta there. Get outta there!
Claire (to Mommy): I said, “Get outta there.”
Mommy: Get outta Sid’s house?
Claire: Yeah.

Claire: Uh! The rebel base?

(Woody approaches Sid’s sleeping dog.)
Alex: I’m afraid Woody’s gonna be eaten.

Claire: Woody is not nice, Mommy.
Mommy: Who’s not nice?
Alex: No, Buzz Lightyear is not being nice.
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: Woody is not being nice and Buzz Lightyear is not being nice.
Mommy: Hm.
Claire: No, they have to be nice.

Claire: They shouldn’t wake the dog.
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: The dog is scary. The dog is scary, Mommy.
Claire: I saw a reindeer! I saw a reindeer at school!
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: At circle time!


(putting Legos away)
Claire: I’m putting my dog away too. Bye bye dog, I love you!

No, I never do anything wrong.

Claire: No ‘chool?

Claire: Breakfast ready?


(Daddy drops Claire off in her new classroom.)
Claire (sad): I wanna go to my class.


(At school, Alex points out a red beanie baby bear, and explains that when you do something bad, you have to tell the bear about it.)
Daddy: Do you ever tell anything to the bear?
Alex: No, I never do anything wrong.


Alex: Uh-oh! I have a accident! I’m gonna pee in my pants.


Daddy: Hey Claire, whose class are you going to go to tomorrow?
Claire: Um, Miss Whitney’s class, and Miss Chivon’s class. And it’ll make me happy.


(Claire comes inside from playing in the backyard.)
Claire: Hi, Daddy.
Daddy: Hi.
Claire: I wanna be with you.


(dinner)

Mommy (to Claire): We’re gonna do superheroes tonight.
Claire (excited): We’re do superheroes in our PJs?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire (thrilled): Ooooh! We’re gonna do superheroes, Daddy!!

Claire: I went to gymnastics, Mommy.
Mommy: You did? What did you do in gymnastics?
Claire: I rolled… I flipped… and, other part was –
Alex: I did a front roll in class with Julia.
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: Yeah. And I did a handstand first.
Mommy: You did?!
Alex: Yeah.
Mommy: Good job!
Claire: I didn’t do a handstand in gymnastics. Did you go to gymnastics Alex?
(Alex goes on and on about it.)
Claire: Do you go to fermastics, Alex? Did you go to fermastics?
(Alex ignores her and keeps talking.)
Mommy: Yes, Alex went to gymnastics today.
Alex: Then I did a forward roll, then I did a forward roll…
Mommy: You did?!
Alex: Then I stepped on a squishy thing that went “eeee!”, “eeee!”
Claire: I stepped on a squishy thing!

Alex: And some of the, um, gymnastics people, um throwed, um, big squishy things, after we did, the obstacle course, and, I had to push it back up! And, somebody else could get a turn.
Mommy: Yeah?
Alex: There’s a square one, and, a circle one.

Alex: Well I don’t like a forward roll.


(Daddy talks to Claire about gymnastics, and Claire keeps calling it “fermastics”. Alex tries to teach Claire to say “gymnastics”. Claire doesn’t care.)
Mommy: Can you say “juh”?
Claire: Juh.
Mommy: Good job!
Claire: Fermastics!

Claire: Daddy! I don’t have a shirt, I taked it off!
Daddy: Oh!
Claire: ‘Cause it was dirty! ‘Cause my sleeve was dirty right here!
Daddy: Yeah!

Claire: Yay! Superheroes!

Claire: Gocky gocky, Mommy. Gocky gocky. Gocky gocky.

Claire: Gocky gocky, Alex.
Alex (upset): I don’t want you to say gocky in my ear.
Mommy: You can say it to me, Claire.
Claire: Gocky gocky, Mommy!


(Claire is crying because Alex is playing with the cymbals that she had only recently put down.)
Daddy: You weren’t playing with them, Claire. Alex is taking a turn.
(Claire continue crying.)
Daddy: Maybe Alex will share. You can ask him.
Alex (offering Claire a cymbal): Here’s one for you, Claire. And one for me.

I don’t like Miss Arnold’s class ‘cause I sad there. But I like Miss Chivon’s class.

Claire: I made a nice picture for Aunt Sheridan.

Daddy: Do you remember what Aunt Sheridan gave you?
Claire: A new present.


Alex: Why did the boy wanna get a new house?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Alex: Because, his old house was old!


(Claire whimpers in bed for a long time, mostly about not liking her new class.)

Claire: I wanna be in Miss Whitney’s class too. I want those kids stay in there, those kids stay in there.

Claire: I don’t like Miss Arnold’s class ‘cause I sad there. But I like Miss Chivon’s class.

(Later, Claire sings to herself in bed, very loudly.)
Claire (singing): Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle on the way… Hey!
Claire (singing): Oh what fun, it is to ride, one horse open sleigh… Hey!
(This is repeated many, many times.)

This is not your food, Grommie.

Claire: I'm gonna take off my diaper.
Daddy: Are you poopy?
Claire: No I'm peed.

Alex: Hey Claire? That pole you had looks like a drummy thing and you could drum on a drum.
Claire: Yeah. That's silly!


Claire: We’re back, Daddy! I played nicely with Callum!
Daddy: Oh, good!
Claire: I cleaned up!

Mommy: What should I make ‘em for dinner?
Claire: Um, chicken nuggets, and applesauce…
Alex: Chicken nuggets, and applesauce, and carrots.
Claire: Carrots… and barbecue sauce.
Mommy: Okay.

Claire: Watch this, Daddy!
Alex: Watch this, Daddy!
(Claire and Alex start running across the kitchen. Alex trips and falls down hard.)
Claire: Sorry, Alex.
Alex (grouchily): No, you didn’t do it, I just fell down, nobody pushed me down.
(Claire tries to kiss his hand.)
Alex (grouchily): No I didn’t hurt my hand. I hurt my knee, Mommy.
Claire: Oh I can kiss it, Alex. I can kiss it.
(Mommy and Claire kiss Alex. Alex bumps his head in the process.)
Mommy (to Alex): Oh, now you hit your head!
Claire: Oh, I’m sorry.

Claire: Watch this, Daddy!
Alex: Watch this, Daddy!
Alex (to Claire): Let’s let’s – let’s run slow.


(dinner)

(Grommie is sniffing around Claire’s tray.)
Claire: This is not your food.
Daddy: You tell him, Claire.
Claire: This is not your food, Grommie.
Alex: We don’t like Grommie.
Alex: But he’s a good dog.
Claire: But we like him.
Alex: We like him sometimes if, he be nice.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex (being silly): Not your food, Claire. My food.
Claire: Yeah my food too.
Alex: No this is my food. On my plate.
Claire: This my plate.
Alex: No this is my food on my plate!
Claire (having trouble talking because she’s laughing): This is my – uh my – food on my plate.
(Claire coughs.)
(Alex coughs.)
(Claire coughs.)
(Alex coughs.)
(Claire coughs.)
(Alex coughs.)
Alex: I don’t like you.
Claire: No I like you!
Alex: I don’t like you!
Claire: I like youuuu!
Alex: I don’t like you!
Claire: I like youuuu!
Alex: I don’t like you!
Claire: I like youuuu!
(Pause.)
Claire: I like you!
(Alex and Claire start playfully making weird guttural noises at each other.)

Alex (pointing to Claire’s monkey cup): Claire, look. He has a runny nose.
Claire: Yeah, him have a runny nose. That’s silly!

Mommy: Kooze me!
Daddy: Why you say dat?
Claire (to Daddy): No!
(Claire points her finger at Daddy and starts making her “squirting” noise.)
Claire: Kuh kuh kuh kuh kuh kuh kuh.

Claire: I’m squirting you!

Claire, do you wanna hear about my good dream?

Alex: Can I see what your glasses look like? Can I see what the floor looks like with your glasses?
(Daddy puts his glasses on Alex.)
Alex: I think the floor’s broken.

(Daddy opens a soda can.)
Alex: That soda’s hard to open ‘cause it says kik sk ksss ksss!
Daddy: Yeah.
Alex: When I’m a daddy, I can drink soda.
Daddy: That’s right.

Alex: Claire, do you wanna hear about my good dream?
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: Okay. It was about I was going in the snow with all my friends. And I – and I liked it. And we came back in the school and you were born. And you were born last year. And we watched it on TV and Callum watched TV with me.


(lunch)

Claire: You eat pizza?
Mommy: Yeah.
Claire: Everybody eat pizza.


Alex: Pop is an important. He’s an important guy because he has to build things.

Alex: He can fix anything.


(dinner)

Alex: Daddy, I want some more carrots to make me healthy.
Daddy: Well, we ate all the carrots.
Alex: Well they won’t make me healthy if I don’t eat them.


(Claire pees on the potty, and is very proud of herself. She gives everyone “five”.)
Claire: We did it!
Claire: We did it! Los hicimos!


Alex: Hey, my favorite games are Bob the Builder and… monster trucks.

I don’t like that dream.

Claire: This tree is going away.

Alex: Bye-bye, Christmas tree.

Claire: I’m making dinner for you, Daddy.

Claire: Ouch! I – I’m sorry.
Daddy: Did you hurt yourself?
Claire: Yeah. I’m okay.


Claire (proudly): I closed Map! I know how to close Map!


(Alex describes his bad dream to Mommy.)

Alex: Somebody took – was tryin’ to take off my head.
Mommy: That sounds scary.
Alex: That wasn’t nice.

Alex: Mommy? I was tryin’ to look for you.

Alex: And children, of a different school was there, and they were different, but they didn’t have any heads either, or arms.

Alex: Well, I didn’t see you, and you weren’t around in there.
Mommy: Sorry.
Alex: Nowhere. You were outside I think. You forgot me.
Mommy: Nooooo!
Alex: Yes you did.
Mommy: I’d never forget you!
Alex: Mommy?
Mommy: Yeah.
Alex: I don’t like that dream.