Why does that chicken have long hair?

Claire: Don't color with my colors, don't even trick me that you did, okay Alex?


(in the car)

Alex: You know why looking at houses is -- are, fun for me?
Mommy: Why?
Alex: Because then when I see something I like, I -- I wanna live there.

Claire: Why was that boy holding a flag, that was a statue by the road on the road? Someone might crash into it.

Daddy: How ‘bout our names? Do you know Mommy’s and Daddy’s names?
Claire: Daddy, and Mommy.
Alex: No, David and Stephanie.


(at the farm)

Claire: How do bugs get here?
Daddy: They fly.
Claire: No, how do -- do you build a bug? Or do they just grow?

Claire: Why does that chicken have long hair?
Mommy: That's a turkey, and I don't know what that stuff is called.

Claire (tiredly): When are we gonna have fun?

Claire: I'm tired. Can someone carry me? Daddy, can you please carry me?

Why don't we ever see a pit. A big huge hole that people fall in.

Claire: What are you looking at?
Mommy: Facebook.
Claire: What's Facebook?
Mommy: Something on the internet.  A time-suck.
Claire: Time-suck?  What's a time-suck?
Mommy: Something that takes a lot of time.


Claire: Why don't we ever see a pit?
Daddy: Why don't we ever see a pet?
Claire: No, why don't we ever see a pit?
Alex (translating): Why don't we ever see a pit.  A big huge hole that people fall in.


Alex: Can we watch the rest of House Hunters?

Daddy, when will the... the... the seasons stop?

Claire: Daddy, when will the... the... the seasons stop?


Claire: Show time!
Claire: When it's time for a show, you say "show time!"  And when it's time for breakfast and it's time for a show, you say "Breakfast time!  Show time!"


Alex: When we went to the Byrd Theater, it was actually a movie theater.
Daddy: What did you think it was gonna be?
Alex: I just thought it would be birds.


Alex: I just love pizza.

Bad guys don't give it back!

Alex (to Claire): You're a bad guy!  Give it back!
Claire: Bad guys don't give it back!


Claire: I'm your baby Dora.


(Mommy tells Alex a fact about whales.)
Mommy: I was gonna say they eat pounds and pounds of tiiiiny sea creatures, called krill.
Alex: That's not very nice though.

Why does Mickey have gloves on?

Claire: Why does Mickey have gloves on?


Alex (looking at James): James -- why do they say this is Mike?!


Daddy: Did you do that at school?
Claire: Mm-hm. They learned me this.


Claire: It’s gonna storm. It’s storming while its night time. It’s storming while its night time too.



Claire: Mommy, sometimes I dream when I'm closing my eyes, but it doesn't feel like a dream, when I open them!

Alex: Why can't you open your eyes when you're dreaming? Because it feels like your eyes are already open!

Where do bubbles go when they pop?

Alex: I was gonna lift weights today.


Claire: I wanna stay a kid.
Daddy: Yeah?
Claire: 'Cause I like playing.
Claire: I don’t wanna work, then that would be boring.


Claire: Daddy?  Can you play with me?


(Alex counts to one thousand.)
Alex: I counted to one thousand!
Mommy and Daddy: Wow!
Alex: While holding the ball!


Claire: Where do bubbles go when they pop?


Claire (to Alex, angrily): "Mean" is when you don't let any people choose stuff!



Claire: It’s hard to build everything in the world.
Daddy: Yeah.
Claire: Because cars, signs, house, fences, roads... and lots of things.
(Pause.)
Claire: Bridges, (inaudible)... but not trees and bushes, because those just grow by themselves.
(Alex points out that you don't build the sky, either.)
Claire: Yeah you can't make the sky. So how do -- how does the sky get up there?

Claire: I guess the sky just grows up there.

Daddy, are grandpas bigger than grandmas? I feel like they're older.

(Caillou is eating ice cream.)
Claire: When will we ever eat ice cream?


(Claire got a short haircut yesterday.)
Claire: I love my hair!


(Claire made a face with the food on her plate, but Mommy is at the grocery store.)
Claire: I wanna take a picture so Mommy can see my face!


Alex (to Daddy): I'm gonna be taller than you!
Daddy: You might!
Alex: I'm gonna be Grandpa!
Claire: I'm gonna be Grandma!

Alex: Grandpas are bigger than grandmas?
Alex: Daddy, are grandpas bigger than grandmas?  I feel like they're older.

Claire: How do they make stickers?
(Daddy doesn't know.)
Claire: I think they, get a piece of white paper, cut the shape, and then write it on it.


Claire: Daddy, I know about monsters and bears.  Monsters are -- are not anywhere, and bears are in the mountains.

It's a really old spoon, then?

(Alex is using Mommy's special childhood spoon.)
Claire: Mommy had it when she was a kid.
Alex: It's a really old spoon, then?
Mommy: Hey!


Daddy: How did they get the moon up in the sky?
Claire (excited): They have a big, big, big, big ladder, or -- if you wanna fly up, you hafta have a balloon.


Daddy: How big is space?
Alex: It's huge!  It never ends.

Daddy: Well what happens when you get to the end of it?
Alex: You wouldn't get to the end of it!  You'd go for days and days, and you'd be like "Ach!  We've been here for three weeks!"

Alex: So how could they, like, build space?

Claire: How does mulch get there?  I know.

Birds don't use potties, so there's no potties in trees.

Alex (to Mommy): I was gonna say something to you but I forgot.


Alex: Daddy, how do you build trucks? Because trucks build things. With them.
Daddy: I don’t know! How do you build tools?

Alex: Maybe there's a special kind of tool, you don't have to build. It builds itself.

Alex: Birds don't use potties, so there's no potties in trees.

Only your face goes up in the air.

Claire: You know what all of my favorite colors are?
Mommy: What?
Claire: Aaaaaaall of the colors!
Mommy: I thought pink and purple were your favorite.
Claire: But, the favorite colors are, pink and purple, and, some other ones, that I still like, that aren’t really my favorite color, are red, and blue and green and, I think that’s all. That’s all my favorite colors.
Mommy: You like a lot of colors, don’t you?
Claire: And sometimes I change my mind and I like all the colors in the world! Even white and black!


(Claire and Alex are discussing death.)
Alex: Only your face goes up in the air.


(getting ready for bed)
Claire (to Mommy): I’m your baby kitty sleeping.

Why don’t plants pee? You know they drink water.

Claire (to Alex, as she turns off the TV): After, I turn it off, if you wanna turn it back on so you can turn it off, you can do that.

Alex: Can we watch another one?

Alex: I think I had a dream about a blueberry that was that big.
(Alex demonstrates with his hands.)
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: I mean, that big.
(Alex demonstrates again, slightly smaller.)
Alex: So I said to you, Daddy, can we save them? And you said yeah.



Alex (to Daddy): I know you’re the best Boggle player.

Alex: I’m always gonna be your buddy.
Daddy: Aw! We’ll always be buddies.
Alex: Even when I die, I’m still gonna like you.
Daddy: Aw.
Alex: I’m never gonna forget you.


Alex: Why don’t plants pee? You know they drink water.


Alex: You’re funny, Claire.


Alex (angrily): I hate rules!


Claire: Daddy, this is my toy store.


(Alex is playing with his toys.)
Toy Man: No way you’re gonna get me, dinosaur!
Toy Dinosaur: Oh yes way!

Why does there have to be a name for every day?

Alex: We still have to watch out for the orange juice, Claire.
Claire: Yeah, but I have my shoes on.
Alex: Yeah, but our shoes, are running out of... okay in orange juice.


Alex: Why does there have to be a name for every day?


(Alex and Claire are playing, and Alex pretends, for the first time, that he has a gun. So Mommy explains to Alex the dangers of real guns.)

Alex: The only way to die is to get shoot by a gun, Mommy?
Mommy: No, there are other ways you can die.
Alex: Like what?
Mommy: You can get really really old… or you can have a bad accident…
Alex: Like “I peed a lot in my pants” accident?

Alex: If you get fired, you die.

Alex: If the windows were open and you were jumping in your seat without your seatbelt on, you’re going boing boing boing… and then the last time, you go boing! You’d fall out of the window.


Alex: Well, I know that at people’s houses they don’t have any real guns.
Mommy: Yes they do.
(Mommy explains in great detail.)


(dinner)

Claire: Alex, I saw you, out the window, I saw you on Splash Day.

Claire: And I saw the sprinkler, and I thought you were out, and then I saw you, so that means you were out on Splash Day.

Claire: But, if it was a thousand [degrees], will you die?

Claire: The sun is sooooooo big!
Alex: It’s bigger than a house!
Mommy: It sure is. It’s bigger than our planet.
Claire: Uh-huh. It’s like bigger than… bigger than our whole world!

Claire: Mommy on days we go to school, when we come home, we can do the game, the talking game.

Claire: Because on days we stay home, we, we’re…
Mommy: We’re together.
Claire: Yeah we’re together. So we know what we did.

Alex: Um I hope the TV works, because… I want to watch a show.

Claire: Remember, a long, long time ago, Alex liked Bob?

Alex: It’s been when I was like four, since we watched that show. We haven’t watched it ever since I was five.

Claire: How ‘bout we play a game? This is not a guessing game. You just talk – you go, you go all around, and you say what you did today.


(Claire is using Mommy’s sink to wash her hands.)
Claire: Daddy, when I was four, and I stand on my tippy toes, I can reach it!
Daddy: Wow!
Claire: When I was three, and I was on my flat feet, I couldn’t reach it, and when I stood on my tippy toes, I couldn't reach it!
Daddy: Wow!



(Daddy tucks Alex into bed.)
Alex: Good night. I can't wait to spend time with you tomorrow.

This is the only planet where -- that has people in it.

Claire: Daddy, I'm your baby kitty.

Claire: When I put the waffle in my mouth, it didn't taste yummy.


(Claire is saying she's always going to eat lots of carrots to stay healthy.)
Claire: Until I die, I stop.
(Pause.)
Claire: Because I can't do it anymore when I die!


Claire: This is the only planet where -- that has people in it.

Because you were just playing on your Kindle. You should be doing your work.

(Daddy is sitting on a stool, working on his computer at the kitchen counter.)

Alex: You haven't sat on that stool, working on your computer for a long time.
Daddy: Yeah?
Alex: You haven't worked a lot at home.
Daddy: You're right.
Alex: Because you were just playing on your Kindle.  You should be doing your work.

And I can't even wait for tomorrow, ‘cause I can't wait to stay home, and not go anywhere!

Claire: I can't wait for tomorrow.
Alex: I can't wait to go to sleep.
Claire: And I can't even wait for tomorrow, ‘cause I can't wait to stay home, and not go anywhere!


(Alex got hurt twice today.)
Alex: I had two ailments today.

I thought when it rained, it rained all the way around the world, and it doesn't.

Claire: Daddy, what if I forget my teacher's name?



Alex: I thought when it rained, it rained all the way around the world, and it doesn't.

Claire: When it rains, all the clouds rain, right?



(Claire talks about lunch.)

Claire: I had carrots, and medium-sized brown things…

Claire: And I had a sandwich that had bread on the top and the bottom, and cheese and turkey in it.



Claire: Mommy Daddy, I have a book at school!  Do you wanna know what it's about?

Daddy, why do crabs have sharp snappies?

(driving to Busch Gardens)

Claire: What was that car called, that was brown and went past us?
Mommy: A jeep.
Claire: But it didn't have a wheel on the back.

(Claire rambles on about the car for a while.)
Claire: Do you know what that car was called?
Daddy: Are we still talking about the brown car?
Claire: Yeah.
Daddy: That was a jeep.
Claire: But it didn't have a wheel on the back!

Claire: Maybe they just wanted to break some glass from the back so they could feel good air for the puppy, or if they had a kitten and a puppy... (Claire rambles on some more.)

(Later, we pass a jeep with a wheel on the back.)
Daddy: Look Claire, there's a jeep.
Claire: But that other one didn't have a wheel on the back, what was it called?
Daddy: A jeep.


Claire: Daddy, why do crabs have sharp snappies?


Alex: I think it’s good that we went to Busch Gardens today, Daddy, ‘cause if we were at home, we might watch too much TV.

Claire: Where do frogs live?

Claire: Where do sort of sharks live?

Claire: I know where trees live: in the mulch.


Alex: We’re in Dragon Land!

And there was thunder as loud as someone's knocking down a building.

Claire: Daddy, I like school because I like drawing.


(after breakfast)
Claire: Daddy, I'm clean, and I didn't get a wipe, and I -- no butter got on my face!


Claire: I like having nap, because sometimes I start getting tired.  When I -- when it's nap time.



(Claire and Alex come home from school.)
Claire: Daddy, I got a little snack at school!  Everything doesn't have peanuts.
Daddy: Oh!
Claire: And I'm gonna give some to Alex too.

(Alex took a field trip to Byrd Theater.)
Alex: The theater was a little scary when we first got in it.  'Cause I thought we were gonna watch a movie.  And there was -- a stage -- that was as big as -- this wall.  All the way from the fireplace to the top of the TV.  From the bottom of the fireplace to the top of the TV.  It was as big as this couch!
Daddy: Wow.
Alex: As big as this rug.  That's how big it was.
Daddy: That's a big stage!
Alex: And there was thunder as loud as someone's knocking down a building.
(Alex jumps up and stomps upon landing.)
Alex: That's how loud it was.

(Claire is in the bathroom.)
Claire: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, sweetheart.
Claire: Um, my nose is stuffed up at school, and at home, and when it's stuffed up at nap, it bothers me.
Daddy: Okay.

Claire said she washed hands better than me!

Mommy (to Alex): What's wrong?
Alex (upset): Claire said she washed hands better than me!

Daddy, is I'm clean?

Alex: I don't wanna go to school.

Claire: Daddy, is I'm clean?


Alex: I’m gonna have more money than anybody in this world!


Claire (singing/chanting): Bread is fresh
Claire (singing/chanting): Bread is fresh
Claire (singing/chanting): Bread is always fresh, when you keep it closed


(dinner)

Claire: For real?

Claire (to Daddy): I always say "for real" when you say something different and I don't know.

(Alex is eating asparagus.)
Alex: I'm a grown-up!

(Daddy likes asparagus too.)
Alex: Fist pump!